Secretary of Eumenes

Three of my WR's failed to score 4 points. Witness me.

Henry for 1 year Buffalo at $3 for 3 years Tom Brady for 1 year Johnathan Taylor at $16 for 3 years Calvin Ridley $12 for 4 years Michael Pittman Jr. at $1 for 4 years Drew Brees for 1 year Matt Brieda for 1 year Nick Foles for 1 year Baltimore at $2 for 2 years Tarik Cohen 1 year James Robinson at $5 for 3 years Frank Gore for 1 year N'Keal Harry for 1 year I think that's everybody.

After you all stand in the wracked ruin of my victory on Tuesday I want y'all to know that some of my EXPERTly picked WR talent is quite available for trade. Admittedly I want for RBs. When you are prepared, prostrate yourselves at my feet and be graced with the fruit of my foresight. Alternatively if all of my guys suck remember that we're all friends here and you want to have mercy on me.

Odell Beckham Jr - 41 (3 years) Russel Wilson - 19 (3 years) Mike Williams - 19 (1 year) Austin Hooper - 1 (1 years) John Brown - 1 (1 year) Mark Andrews - 1 (3 years) If it's permissible and no trouble I'd like to renege and keep John Brown at $1 and Philly at $1. I mean I can cut them if I need to. ETA: clarification, I mean that if I'm allowed to keep them it costs me literally nothing and I can cut them later.

There has been a trade. Yronwood Bloodroyals acquire QB Jared Goff, WR Marvin Jones Jr., and WR Will Fuller 5 Duskendale Dames acquire WR Mike Evans

QBs:Lamar Jackson, Derek Carr (Jared Goff, Nick Foles, Ryan Fitzpatrick) RBs: Alvin Kamara, Marlon Mack, Malcolm Brown (Matt Brieda) WRs: Davante Adams, Adam Thielen, Will Fuller V, T.Y. Hilton (Dontrelle Inman, Michael Pittman Jr, Christian Kirk, Kenny Stills, Marvin Jones Jr.) TEs: Darren Waller, O.J. Howard K: Matt Prater DEF: Baltimore, Tampa So I went for big hitters this time, contrary to my normal inclinations. I definitely need a RB upgrade and am willing to move a QB for it 'cause I'm pretty thin everywhere. Should be interesting. Shame I couldn't get Cam, but I couldn't see guys like Waller and Carr go for pennies.

I guess I'll keep Beckham, Wilson, Williams, Hooper, and Andrews. Cut the rest.

My roster is garbage. Who drafted this piece of shit? I cry foul. FOUL

In

As long as I have a few days to prepare I'll make whenever work. These phones are handy things.

I accept these terms. But only insofar as the draft is held tonight and nobody else confirms whether they'll be playing. Other than that I'm good for anything.

More like Dr. Whomever.

As it's not a traditional feeder league, would winning A do anything for me retaining my place? I'm not going to whine and complain or anything, but I am compelled to ask and have arguments in my favor if the court decides upon deliberation.

GRREEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH EEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M ALIVE!!!! I'M ALIVE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I'M ALIVE!!!!!

Excuse me while I hang myself from this balcony.

So you're saying there's a chance?

If this travesty of a prime time event should go as expected I may yet find victory and be alive in this campaign. Football Zeus, hear me! I will batter Sunspear to the ground if it costs me forty-thousand Will Dissley achilles tendons! It is in your name, great father, that I eat these chicken wings!!!

I can't believe how every time I turn down a trade for a guy he gets injured the next time he plays.

What happened, yo?

Y'all are some cruel motherfuckers. Making a demure lass like myself start Markus Mariota against Buffalo. That's fucked up.

We're on to Valyria. Meanwhile, I need a QB this week and I'm looking for a RB. I've got a number of WRs available. Hit me up, folks. Pick this corpse clean before I'm mathematically eliminated.

It's safe to say these are my last months in such esteemed company. It was a pleasure.

I cede my position in Experts. Clearly I am unworthy.