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Secretary of Eumenes

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Everything posted by Secretary of Eumenes

  1. So yesterday I felt like the Colts actually had a offensive identity for the first time in half a decade. Longer, if you like me struggle to identify what the fuck Chuck Pagano was thinking with his OC hires. Anyway, they ran the ball often and from under center. And didn't abandon their best offensive playmaker's entire theater of attack at the first sign of a 2nd and 8. That is better. Go Colts. You can beat anybody with a persistent rushing game and good defense. I do not say that they will beat the Iggles. But they can. And I would not have allowed as much under previous regime. Go Colts.
  2. So I was wrong. The Colts are not tanking. It was a coup. No OC, no HC who was the playcaller. Ryan is starting because he is now the effective OC. Fascinating. I did not think that i could respect Matt Ryan but good for him! Good for him! And if nothing else he rid me of Reich and that is a suicide bombing I must be thankful for.
  3. A swan, break a mans arm? Lies! They break your spirit. I've... seen the videos, ok?
  4. For real. All these peoole getting outraged at the nepotism refuse to sa WHY they think he is incompetent to own a franchise. For so long as such an incongruity exists I refuse to take their complaints seriously.
  5. Yo I like Irsay, I don't actually wish him ill. But gimme a break about raking someone for taking shots at the absolute distillation of privilege. Excess in anything is worthy of contradiction. And Irsay excesses in many things.
  6. I'm always classy. Thats why I make expletive filled screeds calling for the (self)poisoning and destruction of the Masters.
  7. No it ain't! Fuck him! I hope he snorts himself to death by halftime come Sunday. I hope every billionaire meets a lepers end at the bottom of a bottle with only their pills for friends
  8. You don't need to like your coach. Players obey. You think Tom Brady liked Bill? Fans like winning. Reggie Wayne quit because of the culture in NE. GOOD. Nature eats babies all the time. (ten good boy points to whoever gets that reference without googling)
  9. Well, I can tell you that 48 hours wasn't enough time for him to become something other than an upjumped former athlete with just enough remaining awareness to identify the blitzing camera crew. But that just adds to the glee for me. I LOVE people acting like all the other losing loser coaches who lose were somehow betrayed by this clownshoes decision. Fuck em. You couldn't earn your pay, why the fuck do you get an 'opportunity' to profit off your superiors demise? Fuck em. Jeff Saturday is a goober dork ass joke who probably reads at a fifth grade level. But I think he deserves the interim job specifically because he is not responsible at all for the past 4 years of catasrotragic bullshit. And because the Dolphins weren't docked picks for tanking. They were docked picks because Ross is such a racist fuck he accidentally hired a great coach and then had to bribe him to get the result he first expected. Tanking isn't against the rules as long as everyone is trying to win If Irsay hired Flores I would take up religion. I think with even a moderately-terrible QB and Brian Flores the Colts could win the SB next year.
  10. BURN ALL OF YOU BURRRRRN Twitter has finally proved worth my time. Splendid
  11. Chris Ballard needs to do the right thing and chase the cyanide capsule with a bullet already. I just watched Jeff Saturday's second presser. I know now there must be a God. And she's fucking hilarious.
  12. Whaaaa! Whhhaaaaaa! Wha-wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA Hey, give us back our toy You stupid B-boi Don't you understand That all of our joy Comes from your new toy I just used a word on re-peat Now there's nothing left, I guess I better D-stroy Everything you love and everything you know has gotta be in one app, OH baby don't you know? Go ahead and quit your job go sell your car live with yo mamma baby be a slob If there's a single thing I know Oh baby oh I know you're gonna go right back to that Web-based social freak show Let's just face 'em now 'cause they're some pretty big facts No matter how many B-bois buy your tweet station you just wanna get back 'Cause you want that pain and you want that rage 'cause that's all you get back From everything you put in Never gonna win Just drown and then get mad at sin and make another drop in the O-sin (ocean) Cause that's the thing about every-thing that you get to see when your Twitter account makes a 'Lil nice DING It's specifically designed to get you on side even if what you see ain't right on your side So you click that share for those who care and oh don't you know it, there's so many who do They care what you share and care what you show, and they're dying to share and care with you so Let's create a little new world, scroll down the thread and it's unfurled where everyone good and everyone that's right already knows what we know That's how the story goes Oh that's how the story goes... Until B-boi DROOOOOPS His mic His B's His Deez His whacky Per Son Al It Eeeeeeeeeeeezz Oh what's that sound it's coming 'round why is there a hand on my ass who is whispering "just stay calm" I'm starting to feel scared Cause all of those who cared Seem a long way off When the B-boi comes And he's coming again Now again And one more time I lied once more again Beginning to feel used Didn't even use lube And that wasn't the front door He just left himself all over me and I feel so ick-y I think I wanna little more Hey Mr. B-boi you're such a bad man can I be your little tweet whore 'Cause I feel so used and so confused I think I wanna get used a little bit some more So here's a really mean tweet where I saw somebody say that everything is gay because of B-boi's new way Calling things gay in a dismissive way isn't what I like, so Imma re-tweet it just out of spite There, now that that's done, I'll just sit back and enjoy the fun Seeing all of those likes and all of these rights really makes it all alright so I settle in calm down and then when I finally rouse Why is my ass sticky again?
  13. I know you're wroth... but I read this and actually begin to wonder if El(on) is The Christ after all. Save us El!
  14. They gonna get the UN involved too? Two strongly worded letters are worth half as much as one worthless gesture! How does the maths shake out on that one? New Math isn't my specialty
  15. "I will make your reign a reign of blood." I've said it before and I will say again that Armando is a goddamn motherfucking genius!!!
  16. Lol, yo I've always enjoyed Irsay. Completely wrong impared drivings aside, he's probably the best owner as far as someone who is easy to like. The guy loves football and he loves the players. And not only has no one accused him of rape, he's the only one who said what needed to be said about Snyder. I'm unashamed to like Jim Irsay. So, that said: You people said suck for Luck for years when they totally were not tanking. They had to wear that even though they totally weren't. So this is tanking. Marv, Peyton, and Edge were all at the game together VS Wash.
  17. Odd, Ukraine has no reason not to trust U.S.A. They have lithium
  18. MAD wins again! Escalate to deescalate! Works every time. Y'know, until one of these times when it doesn't. But that's an exciting problem for excited futures. Good thing we're churning out generations of thoughtful, literate, and attention-span-possessing future leaders.
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