Thelastactionhero

I read the prologue you had a link to, and her are my suggestions/thoughts. My initial responce is noticing/editing redundacies. For Ex: Para1 combine sentence 2&3. The decaying rays cast sullen shadows of cruel, unforgiving silouettes through the arched windows, marrying...as is---Para 2 Delet "In his arms" -it's understood by carried. Owen carried a bound scroll, faded and stained with age from teh years men....as is.