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Lockjaw of House Boltagon

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About Lockjaw of House Boltagon

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  1. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Can we talk about Jon?

    You got me there. This show is sloppy as hell.
  2. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Can we talk about Jon?

    Defending this show leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but Dany did save his group from the wights and even lost a dragon in the process. Jon probably realized the North alone couldn't possibly withstand the White Walkers, so kneeling was the best course of action. It's sorta like how the riverlords bent the knee to Robb after he saved their bacon. But the Theon thing was bullshit, I agree. As lily white snowflake as he is, Book!Jon would feed Theon to Ghost in a heartbeat for what he did and he would never in a million years tell him that he's still a Stark and Ned's son. Goes to show how D&D don't understand nuance in that they either make characters saintly good (like Jon and Tyrion) or irredemably evil (like Ellaria).
  3. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    The whole plan to get a wight for Cersei is akin to carrying a piece of the broken ice shelf in Antarctica and laying it at Trump's tiny feet so he can see the effects of global warming for himself. As if she would give a flying fuck.
  4. Plot twist: "Westeros" is actually a lego set in the table at Dragonstone like in the Lego movie. Whenever they say "send a raven" my brain changes it to "send a text", and it makes SO much more sense.
  5. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Do you think the show is better or worse for not including Young Griff?

    I have to disagree. As boring as Cersei vs Dany is, I don't think Aegon would've worked in the show, especially being introduced so late in the game. And it's not just about when he comes into play: his character is incredibly convoluted. Like, if you make him the real Aegon, that creates dozens of plot holes and is pure soap opera. And if you make him fake is even more of a mess, like "he's a Targaryen. No, wait, he's a Blackfyre. Now stay tuned for this mountain of backstory." That's why I think it would've been better to have Edric Storm as an Aegon stand-in, to keep most of the same beats.
  6. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Do you think the show is better or worse for not including Young Griff?

    Granted, for whatever reason the showrunners chose to reduce the number of episodes, but had there been a bit more time, this would've been my solution for the Aegon problem: Replace Aegon with Edric Storm. Make it so Edric was the bastard of Robert with Elia Martell, or with a random Martell woman created only for the show who died in childbirth, but managed to live long enough to force Robert to acknowledge the child as his son and to agree to raise him in Storm's End. It is believed in the realm that Edric is a sort of hostage to guarantee the Martells' obedience. Anyway, the point is that Edric needs to be part Dornish. We're first introduced to Edric as early as season 2. Renly introduces him to Cat as his secret weapon against Stannis: as long as Renly has Edric, Stannis has no evidence of the twincest. Then Renly dies, Stannis captures Edric, Mel wants to burn him, Davos saves him, etc, etc. Here is where things change: Davos entrusts Edric to the care of Saladhor Saan to smuggle him to safety, but Sala is secretly working for Illyrio/Varys. Their plan is to spread the rumors that Robert legitimized all of his bastards in his deathbed a la Aegon the Unworthy, and Varys' forged a fake will with Bob's seal and signature. Of course, people's motivations would have to change. Illyrio's is strictly economical: he wants to use Edric's reign to secure the trade with Westeros and exceed the wealth of the Iron Bank. You could keep Varys' Blackfyre angle (assuming that theory is true) and say he wants to secure Daemon's legacy by granting the Golden Company their lands back. In a way it works as a grand version of Illyrio and Varys' old con: they steal Westeros' king (Edric) and the price to get him back is a shit load of "gold": the Golden Company. You could even keep the Dance of the Dragons motif, only it'd be between Dany (the red dragon) and Varys (the black dragon). You could even introduce Jon Connington too, only you'd have to make it so he was in love with someone like Oberyn or something like that, and you'd keep most of the same beats of the character.
  7. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    That's exactly it. D&D turned the show into a pure soap opera. I mean, GoT/ASOIAF always had elements of a soap opera, which was a part of what made it so addictive in the first place, but they were balanced out with strong character development, internal logic and consistent world-building, for the most part (Aegon was pure soap opera, though, which is why he's so divisive among the fandom). D&D, however, took those soap opera elements, dialed them up to ELEVEN THOUSAND!!!! and stripped them off everything else leaving only a loosely connected string of OMG/WTF moments in a vacuum and pure shlock.
  8. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    D&D are like Littlefinger, writing every scene with everyone everywhere at all times.
  9. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Marvel Netflix - Sweet Christmas!

    Tell me about it, the Inhumans are screwed. As for Iron Fist, I side eye everyone going, "But he's always been white in the comics!" Sure, but literally everything else about Iron Fist is Asian. Everything. Back story, supporting characters, mythology, skill set, inspirations, world-building, everything. The "7 Heavenly Cities" arc - arguably the best Iron Fist story of all time - is an anime/Zhang Yimou film brought to life, for crying out loud. Iron Fist is an unequivocally Asian character that had the misfortune of being created white. Marvel could've righted that wrong by casting an Asian actor but they didn't. Ok, fine. At least they should've cast a more compelling white actor, because if the reviews are to be believed, Finn Jones is unfortunately bland in the role.
  10. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Does fAegon annoy anyone else?

    I don't know, I don't think saying a dead character's body was unrecognizable counts as the most...elegant or skillful foreshadowing, to be honest. That's like Ugly Betty levels of subtlety. I also think regardless of what he does accomplish, Aegon being alive is a pretty big deal and definitely needed way more set up. Like, I'm not even sure how to explain it but to me the whole Aegon thing feels off and awkward, like it happens so weird, like in media res in the middle of the book, I don't know. To me Aegon showing up is something you reveal in like an epilogue or something. And Dampy is now leaps and bounds better than JonCon after that new chapter of his. Oh, the advantages of physical and mental torture, they do wonders for those Greyjoys! I liked the turtle too. I imagine it showed up to call bullsh*t on the Aegon reveal as well
  11. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Does fAegon annoy anyone else?

    Yes, OP, yes. Gods, yes. Aegon is the woooorst. I mean, I don't necessarily dislike the idea of a second Dance seeing as how I thoroughly HATED the first one as portrayed in the godawful the Princess and the Queen. I also like the idea of Blackfyre revenge. In fact there's a lot to like about this, at least on paper: Varys' long con, the parallels to real life pretenders, etc. But the execution has been absolutely HORRID. First off, there's been virtually no foreshadowing to what's probably going to be one of the most influential characters in the story, none at all. And no, two throwaway ambiguous lines here and there don't cut it. Overall, there's this sense of lateness to the character, like GRRM chose to include him at the last minute out of the blue. And then, the way he's introduced is just tragic. Like compared to Mance's first appearance or Stannis', it just sucks. Like, here's this random kid named Young Griff. Right, I'm still not sure why I gotta care about Griff senior, let alone his annoying kid. Oh, but wait, he's not actually named Young Griff (awww shucks!). Turns out, Tyrion figured out he really is Aegon Targaryen, the artist formerly known as Baby Squished Brains. Let me emphasize this point: the reveal that one of the series' most influential characters was alive came about during an OFF-PAGE GAME OF NOT!CHESS. How exciting! That's not underwhelming or anticlimactic at all! And then a fucking turtle shows up because fuck it. But then, this kid who's already changed names once, is most likely going to do it again because he's possibly a (say it with me kids!) a FAKE TARG! Jesus H. Christ, what a convoluted mess, and I didn't even bring up the telenovela literal baby-swapping yet. The cherry on top of the shit sundae is that GRRM chose one of the most boring POV narrators to be the exciting voice to this brand new storyline with brand new characters. I just can't. GRRM is a good writer. Surely there had to be a way to bring Aegon into the fore in a less terrible way, there had to be.
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