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Lockjaw of House Boltagon

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About Lockjaw of House Boltagon

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  1. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Can we talk about Jon?

    You got me there. This show is sloppy as hell.
  2. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Can we talk about Jon?

    Defending this show leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but Dany did save his group from the wights and even lost a dragon in the process. Jon probably realized the North alone couldn't possibly withstand the White Walkers, so kneeling was the best course of action. It's sorta like how the riverlords bent the knee to Robb after he saved their bacon. But the Theon thing was bullshit, I agree. As lily white snowflake as he is, Book!Jon would feed Theon to Ghost in a heartbeat for what he did and he would never in a million years tell him that he's still a Stark and Ned's son. Goes to show how D&D don't understand nuance in that they either make characters saintly good (like Jon and Tyrion) or irredemably evil (like Ellaria).
  3. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    It was only like 5 seasons too late!
  4. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    Further confirmation that the source material for this show now is 9gag memes.
  5. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    This just made this clusterfuck of a season worth it. Thank you. And also, why tell Sam all that crap instead of, you know, his sisters?! It's just bizarre that two tertiary characters get a muuuuuuch longer sex scene that the protagonists that had been making fuckme eyes to each other all season long. But you know this show has set the bar really fucking low when you go "Well, at least it was consensual, so that's good."
  6. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    I'll say it: For a whole season of build up, the boatsex was truly disappointing. And the same goes for Littlefinger's death.
  7. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    (Sorry if this has been posted before) From Vox: In an effort to highlight the glaring moments of “Beyond the Wall” that just didn’t make any sense, we came up with 27 basic questions that the episode failed — or more accurately, didn’t even try — to answer. Instead of Jon leading a ranging party north of the Wall to aimlessly search for a wight to capture and deliver to Cersei, why didn’t just Dany scout out the White Walkers from the air, on her dragons? Alternately, why didn’t Dany escort the party to help them capture the wight? Why didn’t anyone in Jon’s party appear to bring any food or other supplies, or bother more appropriate winter gear (namely: hats)? Who truly believes that seeing a wight will actually convince Cersei to join Jon and Daenerys in battling the White Walkers? Has anyone pointed out to Jon and Dany that Cersei technically has her own wight bodyguard? Like, maybe Jaime could have mentioned as much when he met with Tyrion about this very plan? Shouldn’t Tyrion, at the very least, know better than to bet so much on appealing to Cersei Lannister’s humanity? Why didn’t the group bring a raven with them to send a message back to Eastwatch in the event of trouble? Wasn’t it really, um, convenient to have the ice break just in time to stop the wights? And for Jon and his buddies to end up on a perfectly placed island? Why didn’t the Night King just use his ice javelins against Jon, Jorah, Tormund, and the rest of the wight hunters while they were stranded on an island in the middle of the lake? Was he playing a longer game to lure Dany out? Why didn’t the Night King first try to kill the dragon that Dany — and eventually the rescued members of Jon’s party — was riding? Assuming that what he really wanted a zombified dragon, wouldn’t it make more sense to start with the biggest of the three and the easiest one to hit? Why didn’t Dany or anybody else try to kill the Night King? Why did Dany bring all three dragons beyond the wall, when she only used one against the Lannister army? Gendry didn’t know how many undead were coming, so he couldn’t have warned her of the massive army. Jon and Dany have an essentially unlimited supply of dragonglass now, right? Why didn’t they bring dragonglass arrows, to kill White Walkers with from a distance? How was Gendry able to run all the way to Eastwatch, however far that was, in what appears to be record time? While we’re at it, how did Gendry even know where to run after fresh snow wiped out Jon and co.’s tracks, especially since Gendry had never even experienced snow before, period? How the hell did a raven travel the 2,000 miles from Eastwatch to Dragonstone in less than a day? If it took 12 hours, and the raven never stopped to rest, that’s a 167-mph raven. And even if it did take more than a day, how did the men not end up like poor Thoros before the hour Daenerys swooped in? Could Jon really not break away from the fight to get on the dragon with everybody else? How did Jon survive his plunge into the icy lake water at the hands of the wights, let alone pull himself out while bogged down by soaking wet clothing? And how did he manage to then ride a horse back to Eastwatch while barely conscious (and also bogged down by soaking wet clothing)? Why didn’t Benjen show up earlier in the battle against the Night King? The last time he suddenly appeared to help a fellow Stark, he said that the Three-Eyed Raven had sent him; presumably that means Bran sent him to help Jon. But does that mean that Bran didn’t dispatch Benjen until Jon was stranded, dripping wet, and being chased by wights? Where even was Benjen, before showing up to rescue Jon out of nowhere? How did thousands of supposedly terrifying and powerful wights not manage to kill anyone except anonymous redshirt wildings? Where did the Night King acquire giant, industrial-strength chains that he could use for hauling a dead dragon out of a freezing lake? And if he didn’t just find them somewhere, how did he forge them? We don’t know exactly what the White Walkers’ relationship to fire is; we know they don’t like it, but have shown to have a bit of resistance to it (like when the Night King walked through it to kill the Children of the Forest). We do know the wights are killed by fire. It seems implausible that the White Walkers would have been able to create those giant chains without help from their undead army, but how exactly would they have done it? Who jumped into the freezing lake to attach the giant chains to the submerged dragon body — the wights that previously wouldn’t enter the water? And last but definitely not least: Why did no one, out of everyone in this entire all-star war council, realize how dumb the whole “capture a wight” plan was from the start?
  8. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    The whole plan to get a wight for Cersei is akin to carrying a piece of the broken ice shelf in Antarctica and laying it at Trump's tiny feet so he can see the effects of global warming for himself. As if she would give a flying fuck.
  9. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    Someone probably mentioned this already, but when Arya Leatherface was all up on her high horse about how she'd never serve the Lannisters, it would've been a good moment for Professor Branxavier to chime in and say, "Didn't you and Tywin Lannister become BFFs back when you were being his personal cupbearer at Harrenhall? You didn't even try to kill him once, despite having a Three Free Deaths coupon for The House of Black and White. Don't you remember?"
  10. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    She was totally drooling over those ravaged, bloody abs.
  11. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    The northern lords are legit like an angry mob in The Simpsons. I can't get over Gendry's "I'm gonna go run across this vast tundra crawling with zombies! Here, hold my weapon, bro!" It's like Scary Movie in here.
  12. Plot twist: "Westeros" is actually a lego set in the table at Dragonstone like in the Lego movie. Whenever they say "send a raven" my brain changes it to "send a text", and it makes SO much more sense.
  13. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Who will get Iron Bank's support if Boltons win?

    My crackpot guess is Asha. Tristifer Botley and Qarl the Maid spent some time off page with Tycho Nestoris, and we know the important conversations in the story often happen off page. I imagine Tris and Qarl sang the praises of Asha to Tycho, how she was *this* close to become Queen of the Iron Islands, how Euron is planning to bring back dragons and slavery (the 2 things Braavos hates and fears the most), how Asha could use Theon to undo the Kingsmoot, and how, with enough resources, the Ironborn could attack Casterly Rock and pay off the Bank's debts. I mean, it's not ideal, but it's not like the Bank has a whole lot of options if Stannis and Shireen fail. Dany is anti-slavery but very much pro-dragons. Aegon is backed by Illyrio, who's in the slave business. Euron is a psycho and Cersei doesn't wanna play ball. I guess a dark horse candidate could be Littlefinger and whatever puppet ruler he conjures.
  14. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    I think this episode was the worst episode of the show ever? I mean, Ramsay raping Sansa made me physically ill and it was probably the last straw for me in terms of having to come to terms with the noticeable decline in quality, but this past episode was the most...stupid. Like, scene after scene just failed to make me suspend my disbelief and everything is so damn rushed it's giving me whiplash. I'd say this episode, more than others, really did seem like watching Cliff Notes come to life.
  15. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    I know! I was laughing at some very accurate comments on fan service and character reunions and how they're basically "We saw each other at X place!" or "My father said..." But then I ran into the people saying Feast was good because it was slow and nothing happened ("it was intentionally bad! Deconstruction!") and that ruined the fun. Oh, well.
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