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Lockjaw of House Boltagon

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About Lockjaw of House Boltagon

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  1. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Can we talk about Jon?

    You got me there. This show is sloppy as hell.
  2. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Can we talk about Jon?

    Defending this show leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but Dany did save his group from the wights and even lost a dragon in the process. Jon probably realized the North alone couldn't possibly withstand the White Walkers, so kneeling was the best course of action. It's sorta like how the riverlords bent the knee to Robb after he saved their bacon. But the Theon thing was bullshit, I agree. As lily white snowflake as he is, Book!Jon would feed Theon to Ghost in a heartbeat for what he did and he would never in a million years tell him that he's still a Stark and Ned's son. Goes to show how D&D don't understand nuance in that they either make characters saintly good (like Jon and Tyrion) or irredemably evil (like Ellaria).
  3. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    It was only like 5 seasons too late!
  4. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    Further confirmation that the source material for this show now is 9gag memes.
  5. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    This just made this clusterfuck of a season worth it. Thank you. And also, why tell Sam all that crap instead of, you know, his sisters?! It's just bizarre that two tertiary characters get a muuuuuuch longer sex scene that the protagonists that had been making fuckme eyes to each other all season long. But you know this show has set the bar really fucking low when you go "Well, at least it was consensual, so that's good."
  6. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

    I'll say it: For a whole season of build up, the boatsex was truly disappointing. And the same goes for Littlefinger's death.
  7. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    The whole plan to get a wight for Cersei is akin to carrying a piece of the broken ice shelf in Antarctica and laying it at Trump's tiny feet so he can see the effects of global warming for himself. As if she would give a flying fuck.
  8. Plot twist: "Westeros" is actually a lego set in the table at Dragonstone like in the Lego movie. Whenever they say "send a raven" my brain changes it to "send a text", and it makes SO much more sense.
  9. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Do you think the show is better or worse for not including Young Griff?

    I have to disagree. As boring as Cersei vs Dany is, I don't think Aegon would've worked in the show, especially being introduced so late in the game. And it's not just about when he comes into play: his character is incredibly convoluted. Like, if you make him the real Aegon, that creates dozens of plot holes and is pure soap opera. And if you make him fake is even more of a mess, like "he's a Targaryen. No, wait, he's a Blackfyre. Now stay tuned for this mountain of backstory." That's why I think it would've been better to have Edric Storm as an Aegon stand-in, to keep most of the same beats.
  10. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Do you think the show is better or worse for not including Young Griff?

    Granted, for whatever reason the showrunners chose to reduce the number of episodes, but had there been a bit more time, this would've been my solution for the Aegon problem: Replace Aegon with Edric Storm. Make it so Edric was the bastard of Robert with Elia Martell, or with a random Martell woman created only for the show who died in childbirth, but managed to live long enough to force Robert to acknowledge the child as his son and to agree to raise him in Storm's End. It is believed in the realm that Edric is a sort of hostage to guarantee the Martells' obedience. Anyway, the point is that Edric needs to be part Dornish. We're first introduced to Edric as early as season 2. Renly introduces him to Cat as his secret weapon against Stannis: as long as Renly has Edric, Stannis has no evidence of the twincest. Then Renly dies, Stannis captures Edric, Mel wants to burn him, Davos saves him, etc, etc. Here is where things change: Davos entrusts Edric to the care of Saladhor Saan to smuggle him to safety, but Sala is secretly working for Illyrio/Varys. Their plan is to spread the rumors that Robert legitimized all of his bastards in his deathbed a la Aegon the Unworthy, and Varys' forged a fake will with Bob's seal and signature. Of course, people's motivations would have to change. Illyrio's is strictly economical: he wants to use Edric's reign to secure the trade with Westeros and exceed the wealth of the Iron Bank. You could keep Varys' Blackfyre angle (assuming that theory is true) and say he wants to secure Daemon's legacy by granting the Golden Company their lands back. In a way it works as a grand version of Illyrio and Varys' old con: they steal Westeros' king (Edric) and the price to get him back is a shit load of "gold": the Golden Company. You could even keep the Dance of the Dragons motif, only it'd be between Dany (the red dragon) and Varys (the black dragon). You could even introduce Jon Connington too, only you'd have to make it so he was in love with someone like Oberyn or something like that, and you'd keep most of the same beats of the character.
  11. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    That's exactly it. D&D turned the show into a pure soap opera. I mean, GoT/ASOIAF always had elements of a soap opera, which was a part of what made it so addictive in the first place, but they were balanced out with strong character development, internal logic and consistent world-building, for the most part (Aegon was pure soap opera, though, which is why he's so divisive among the fandom). D&D, however, took those soap opera elements, dialed them up to ELEVEN THOUSAND!!!! and stripped them off everything else leaving only a loosely connected string of OMG/WTF moments in a vacuum and pure shlock.
  12. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Rant and Rave without Repercussions [S7 Leaks Edition]

    D&D are like Littlefinger, writing every scene with everyone everywhere at all times.
  13. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    Marvel Netflix - Sweet Christmas!

    Tell me about it, the Inhumans are screwed. As for Iron Fist, I side eye everyone going, "But he's always been white in the comics!" Sure, but literally everything else about Iron Fist is Asian. Everything. Back story, supporting characters, mythology, skill set, inspirations, world-building, everything. The "7 Heavenly Cities" arc - arguably the best Iron Fist story of all time - is an anime/Zhang Yimou film brought to life, for crying out loud. Iron Fist is an unequivocally Asian character that had the misfortune of being created white. Marvel could've righted that wrong by casting an Asian actor but they didn't. Ok, fine. At least they should've cast a more compelling white actor, because if the reviews are to be believed, Finn Jones is unfortunately bland in the role.
  14. Lockjaw of House Boltagon

    What are Leyton Hightower and the Mad Maid up to?

    There's a theory doing the rounds that they're Haldon and Lemore, but that's...I don't buy it. My personal theory is that Leyton and the Maid are part of Marwyn's secret society of magic aficionados, maybe even his rich sponsors or something.
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