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Bronn Urgandy

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  1. It’s all irrelevant because the Iron Throne will go to Cersie and she will keep it, she is a modern day Lann the clever, much how Lann tricked the Casterlys out of the Rock, she had tricked the Baratheons out of Kings Landing. All hail Queen Cersie!
  2. It’s a tricky one, there is a way things should work in theory, then there is the way the current King wants things to work, then there is the way the current power bases want things to work. In theory these things should line up more often than not; King has children, oldest male is groomed to be next King, current King approves of heir and teaches him well, the current powerbases are kept happy by said heir because he maintains the status quo of father that has also kept them happy. Job done, seamless changeover once old King dies. Like all things it gets messed up in practice, rumours of bastardy, heir is a weakling or not suitable or perhaps even non existent, forcing people to consider other options such as daughters, uncles or nephews, but does a nephew born of the Kings sister come before the Kings daughter? She is a direct descendent of the male line, whereas he is a male descendent of the female line, both are cursed by the vagina. That’s civil war territory. If the Kings kids are proven bastards then do we look to the oldest uncle? Targs certainly would, but why should the Baratheons? They themselves have the vagina and bastard curse, as old as it may be, why should people not rally behind the younger uncle, or the actual son or grandson of the former King, if neither of those can be proved to be legit then why not his daughter? She can claim as much legitimacy through the rule of penis as the Baratheons can on account of being much more Targaryen through a recent male line than them, even if she doesn’t actually have one. Look, I didn’t mean to rant so much about penis’ and vaginas, my mind is in the gutter right now
  3. A few notable exceptions from the show; Stannis is Mark Strong, I love Dillane, but Stannis is big and a hard bastard Robert is a larger, fatter Oliver Reed, Mark Addy is good and all but I don’t get the vibe that he was ever a prime powerhouse and warrior that let himself go, he was always gone Dany I just imagine a child and genuinely get the creeps at her sexualisation (I wouldn’t have at fourteen but I am a 32 year old man) Asha is actually Natalia Tena in my mind, whereas Osha.... isn’t l Jorah and Ian Glenn are very far removed, he is my own head canon in the books, not sure if I give him a real face Littlefinger is season 1 Littlefinger, not “chaos is a ladder!” Littlefinger others like the Lannisters and the Hound and most of the Starks are their actors in my brain, I just remove Dinklage’s nose in my head
  4. Perhaps he had the blood, or whatever, but unless your name is Samwell Tarly then this isn’t a story that favours the lonely, awkward kids
  5. Wasnt Lynesse “spoiled goods” that her father was grateful to get rid of by this point though, or am I misremembering?
  6. Right! Or sending shadow assassins AND twenty good men to duel your enemies one on one, or offering your rivals the chance to become Queen or a duel to the death except that you said “mayhaps”. There is so much good material here that I can’t believe Stannis never thought of Speak for yourself, my dream woman is Joan Cusack with a Hogan tash
  7. I’d like an Asha POV from when Theon was trying to stick his fingers in her
  8. Arya and Sansa are going to finger each other to oblivion while Bran wargs them both, it is known.
  9. Why does Theon hate Randyll Tarly? Because he’s still got his precious Dickon
  10. Why is Catelyn Stark like breakfast cereal? Cause she's Raisin Bran She gets soggy when you chuck her in the river
  11. Ha! I imagine he channeled Sean Bean’s Sharpe and either said “bugger it!” Or “Bastad!”
  12. I’d love an Others POV where he just whinges about how cold it is all the time
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