Soylent Brown

And, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Mendy is so shit. It's hard to believe he ever played well enough for a sustained period that someone would pay £50m for him.

Yep, it looks like Pep's determined to trip himself up with unusual tactics again.

I don't especially care about playing on the go, so I'm just going to keep buying indie and multi-platform games on the PC. I will certainly be paying for the privilege of getting into deep arrears with Tom Nook next month though!

Great run and cross from Davies. He's had a really good game.

This is a very different Bayern to the one that turned up at Anfield last year. They've started well and look dangerous.

We really need to find some form or Atletico will pummel us in the second leg.

Hopefully we can see this through now. The defence isn't exactly filling me with confidence this evening.

Mane has been shit so far though so I wouldn't count on it. We've looked a lot more dangerous since Ox came on. Keita was having a dreadful game.

Fabianski took pity on Salah being so useless there and let his piddler in.

And we go straight back to brainlessly pumping up hopeful long balls. We're basically just Good Wimbledon.

Absolute garbage.

Poor in general again from Liverpool. Lots of possession but we create very little outside of set pieces.

Michail Antonio's playing tonight, so we'll need to score at least 2 if we're to win.

Stones is useful to City if for no other reason than the fact he's home grown. They're pretty much at the cap at the moment so it makes more sense for them to keep him as a squad player.