Soylent Brown

Foden has been terrific. Comfortably MOTM.

Well I personally think it's pretty ridiculous to expect Szoboszlai to have scored 15 goals after just 2 games. He does have an assist though! Newcastle have far too many players having a bad game today. Isak, Almiron and Guimaraes all having stinkers.

Newcastle not really at the races here. Hard to see it changing in the second half.

That looked deliberate from Gordon there. Scumbag.

Vicario looks like Dewey from Malcolm In The Middle.

Is Mount playing today?

it depends what he's said, really. Chuntering away at the ref after he's give a free kick for a blatant United foul is a bit silly though, regardless.

Okay, maybe 17th place isn't just a pipe dream.

We're going to get relegated.

For all we've made fun of Kane for various things over the years, he's really fucking good.

I've a friend who has been very involved in the case for years, and it looks grim for the hospital. There were more deaths after they found out and ignored the situation.

Wouldn't Saudi clubs have to adhere to FFP rules if they were to join UEFA? Haha.

It won't though. Silly rumours of Saudi Arabia trying to buy their way into the Champions League are just that: silly rumours.

The Liverpool fan obssession over Bajcetic is baffling. Is it just that we've spent so long with a crap midfield now that anyone looks good? He has the odd nice pass in him, yes, but anywhere you find one of his good passes, half a dozen of his dodgy passes are never far behind. Adding to that he's super spindly like the majority of the 18-19 year olds coming out of our academy always seem to be, so I'd put him at least a couple of years away from potentially even being close to useful for a good club, andd that's if he improves a lot along the way. He needs a loan in the Championship

Got to 100 finally and did a NM100 pretty much straight away. The hardest part was crafting the sigil really. Tried a 98 first, and it went well too. Everything died pretty quickly, but I was very, very squishy. Elemental damage like poison is brutal with resistances not working properly. The 100 went pretty much the same as the 98, mostly smooth, with me being one-shotted a couple of times by monsters taking advantage of poor visibility situations. I'll have a look at Lilith now, see if I can get anywhere with that fight, and if I can, then season over.

It sounds like United accepted West Ham's offer, but Maguire has decided he doesn't want to go. Hopefully Southgate drops him from the England squad, given his complete lack of interest in playing matches.

Ukrainian Dan James.

Mac Allister has worked hard today, but quite a few of his passes have been dreadful.

He always throws a strop when he's subbed, he just doesn't get subbed that often.

Is Klopp trying to lose the game?

Gakpo's not having the best time in midfield here, we should probably bring Curtis Jones on for him. We need at least two more senior midfielders.

Chelsea completely dominating Liverpool at the end of the half there. We're going to finish in the bottom half of the table.

At this point I would genuinely take Dier.

He did, and he had some good moments in the first half today, but he's such a horrible little cheat. He's like if Bruno Fernandes and Kieran Trippier had a baby, and then simmered it down in a pan over a number of hours to produce ultra-condensed shitbag.

The stage is set for Harry Kané to come on and score the winning goals!