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Starkess

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Everything posted by Starkess

  1. Yeah this is definitely the logical answer and I know it. It's just hard to face being so miserable for another year. Sigh.
  2. Thanks I am definitely on track to retire in my 40s if I stay the course, but 10 years is, in fact, a long-ass time. I don't doubt I would sometimes be bored, but I have always been aces at entertaining myself. I'd also be doing things like writing which would keep me very busy without much monetary compensation. And I'd rather be bored on my own than suffering in a job! Just those damn bills that need paying, and I'm not down for the 100% frugal rice-and-beans lifestyle, so I need some cushion for traveling and shopping and things. ETA: Oh and this totally is all intertwined with my mental health, which isn't the best. I've had major depression disorder and general anxiety disorder basically my entire life and it's really hard for me to know how much of my misery is just my brain chemicals out to lunch versus actual external factors I could endeavor to change/control. Or if thinking that I cannot control those factors is part of my depression nothing-ever-gets-better talking. It's a fun merry go round lol
  3. Haha yeah, my parents live 3 hours from the nearest major airport! That's nothing for me.
  4. Well I'm at 3 months with the new position! Which sounds far too long but far too short at the same time. Starting a new job is the worst. I know it takes time--any job takes time and at my company everyone says that instead of 6 months it's more like 1-2 years to get comfortable. So every day I am trying to coach myself through "It's gonna get better, it won't stay like this." But then at the same time...what if it doesn't? How many months of my life being miserable is enough data to make a decision? And if not this job, then what??? I uprooted my entire life to move for this job. (Oh and I am on the hook for that relo package if I quit within my first year.) I am 35 and still struggling to find the thing that is going to be a good fit for me. I mean it's highly likely that thing doesn't even exist and my best bet is to keep my head down, save, and retire early. But like, wouldn't it be nice to be a little happy along the way?? Anyway, have vented about this ad nauseum to my poor (extremely supportive) fiancé and to my new therapist. (Who btw I will lose along with my health insurance if I quit.) Now just venting to y'all as well =P
  5. If that doesn't work for you, it's also being tracked in Eyes: https://eyes.nasa.gov/apps/orrery/#/sc_artemis_1
  6. Last month I got a rejection on the last query I had outstanding for my current novel, putting me at ZERO requests over 26 queries. That is the worst result I've ever gotten, and I don't think I have the heart to revise this query or book yet again. It's been a couple years, clearly it's not clicking with anyone, and I'm sick of it. Haven't written much lately with moving, starting a new job, and wedding planning, but I want to get back into it soon. Crazy? No, not at all. It's a path I've considered many, many times. I think if you feel ready and willing to do it, why not. It's hard hard work to be a successful self publisher, but at the end of the day, is zero people reading a book stashed on a hard drive better than only reaching 1 or 2 or 10 people with a self-pubbed book? No one can make that decision for you, but it's valid either way. Good luck!
  7. I finished listening to Where the Crawdads Sing today. I liked it pretty well, though I think that listening versus reading helped because I hate reading "dialect", but it was more manageable coming as an easily-understandable accent from a narrator. Didn't love the "twist" that was imo obvious, and there were several parts of the book that stretched credulity in ways that really took away from my enjoyment. I can see why some people love it but I would say I just liked it. I also did a quick re-read of OSC's How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy today. I've read this several times and, although published in 1990 and very dated in some particulars, it remains an interesting way to think about constructing a sf/f novel. Read through it because I'm hoping to start writing another novel soon and want to be in a good head space for it. I finished Fellowship of the Ring last weekend in my re-read, will probably start The Two Towers this weekend. Also have The Golden Enclaves downloaded and ready to go.
  8. I think I read The Belgariad once? I don't really remember it. However The Elenium was one of my favorite series of all time. I read it multiple times in what must have been a relatively short period--high school, I think, though maybe the tail end of middle school. I am almost 100% certain that it would NOT hold up if I tried to re-read it now. So I won't and instead cherish the memories of how much I loved Sparhawk and Elena at one point in time.
  9. Even 1 election denying twat in office is too many, but things could have been a LOT worse here. Now just waiting to see how the 1000 propositions I had to vote on today turned out...
  10. All I can say is that if my partner and my best friend ever hooked up and then proceeded to both carry on their relationships with me as if nothing happened...ew, fuck that. I would never be friends with or in a relationship with someone I thought capable of doing that to me. Maybe we could work through the cheating, but to have that decision completely taken away from me while the two of them walked around with that shared knowledge and deception? Nightmare fuel.
  11. I finally finished listening to Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel. Overall I didn't love it. Too long and required probably more understanding of the historical period than I had to make much sense of it. Got Where the Crawdads Sing as my next audiobook, though it may take me a bit to get through it. Usually I listen when I run and between moving, wedding planning, and my new work schedule, it's been hard to fit much running in. I also picked up The Golden Enclaves to read since that just came out. Otherwise still working on my leisurely re-read of Lord of the Rings, still on Fellowship and the forest of Lothlórien.
  12. I've never done a facial but maybe I should, physical extraction is the only thing that tends to work well on my comedones and it's a pain doing it at home and I'm probably never quite as good about sterilizing everything as I should be.
  13. My experience with PT has only been a "go once to get an opinion and then never again because my insurance didn't cover it". I'm actually going on over a year now of battling some mysterious glute injury that I picked up while training for a marathon. I visited two PTs (once each) and got some suggestions that helped a bit, but I 1) am not going to do a series of stretches for 20 minutes 2x a day for the rest of my life and 2) didn't really solve the root issue. I just changed to a new insurance plan and I think PT is a lot more reasonable now, so I'm considering going back. Getting old sucks.
  14. I also have been using a La Roche Posay sunscreen for my face this summer, I've been layering their Anthelios over my moisturizer. It works pretty well and applies easily, but I still feel like it makes my skin a bit sticky. I've never found a sunscreen that I'm 100% happy with, so I guess this may be as good as it gets for me! Lately I've been being a bit more intentional with my nighttime routine and went from just using moisturizer and maybe 1x a week retinol if I remember to having a whole "skin cycling" thing set up. 1 night chemical exfoliant, 1 night retinol, 2 nights just moisturizer, repeat. I think it's working pretty well, though I still struggle with comedones, especially on my lower cheek/jaw. And some of my freckles are merging into larger sunspots. So it goes!
  15. I'm in the middle of moving so my workout routine has taken a hit, but still been getting at least a little bit in when I can. Struggled through a 5 miler walk/run on the treadmill--I hate treadmill running but where I'm staying in the heart of downtown LA is really not conducive to running outside. Luckily I'll be finally settled in my new apartment in Pasadena next week which should be much more runnable! As far as the gym, still dealing with some chest pain so not ready to start lifting weights again until I can really get that sorted out. My new job has a 9/80 schedule which is really going to make it hard to find a good time to workout. I am typically working about 8 to 5:30 and by the time I get home it's just a little too late to fit in a workout before dinner. Sigh.
  16. I love both! I think that cake has a wider variance. The highs are high but the lows are low. Whereas ice cream is almost always at least decent, but more difficult to break into the sublime category.
  17. Sounds like they fucked around and found out. Good luck with the new position!
  18. This is why I only listen to them on walks or runs, basically. Even doing something as simple as cleaning while trying to listen to an audiobook gets me easily distracted and not following along well enough. And I'd go batty trying to listen in place of actually reading myself! We also used to listen to them on long family roadtrips as a kid. We rented the cassettes (and later CDs) from the library and it helped 7 of us in one car endure a 22-hour drive from Iowa to SC!
  19. I mean, it's not like Sanderson fans are hurting for writing content, so.
  20. I'm feeling okay after my booster. Definitely not 100%, I was incredibly tired last night and went to bed rather early, only to wake up in the middle of the night feeling achy and tired. Still feeling draggy and tired today, and my arm is sore, but nothing major. I am working (from home) and was even able to do a bit of a workout. Right after getting the shot last night, I felt very dizzy and my feet were all tingly, but I think it was mostly anxiety about whether I would react poorly to the shot. Due to some logistical snafus regarding my move and my new job, my health insurance coverage doesn't start until Oct 1 and my previous insurance ended Aug 31, so I'm feeling very vulnerable for the next couple weeks.
  21. Getting my second booster Monday night. I have to work Tuesday, but I'll be working from home, so hopefully I'll struggle through any side effects okay. Will definitely give me a bit more peace of mind to have the shoot, as my last booster was in December 2021 so I am probably not super protected anymore.
  22. To be clear, we have previously taken direct images of other exoplanets! But this is the first one from JWST, taken of of a known exoplanet previously imaged by the SPHERE instrument on the ground-based VLT (Very Large Telescope). Fun fact, my fiance actually wrote a paper about that planet back in 2019! ---- In other cool exoplanet JWST observations, its first direct spectrum from a planetary-mass companion looks AMAZING. https://arxiv.org/abs/2209.00620 see Figure 2 for the incredibly broad and detailed spectrum. To clarify some possible confusion points, it's a "planetary-mass companion" because it is in orbit around a brown dwarf. In fact, this system is more like a binary system, it's just that one object is slightly more massive, enough to be a brown dwarf, and the other is a bit smaller, enough to be "planetary-mass." This is also different from the exoplanet spectrum released in the first batch of JWST images because that was a transmission spectrum that relied on using the host star's light whereas this spectrum is taken from direct observation of the object itself (easier to do and more detailed).
  23. I totally agree. I find 1x audiobooks excruciating to listen to. 1.5x is usually minimum for me, up to 2x depending on the narrator. Usually this is easily done in playback, but when I listen to audiobooks on my GPS watch for runs, it just takes mp3 files. So I have to download the audiobook, find the associated filed, open it in an audio editor, change the tempo, export the file, then transfer to my watch. This is an enormous hassle and takes several minutes per segment of audiobook, but the alternative is listening at 1x and that's not gonna happen. But then again people frequently tell me I speak much too fast in real life and I usually watch YouTube videos at 2x as well. Interestingly, podcasts at 1x don't bother me much, though I will sometimes do them at 1.5x if they're long.
  24. I'll go against the grain and say it sounds like you've made a good decision. If you're interested in FWB and she says that's fine but keeps giving signals she's getting more attached...that's not going to end well for anyone. If she's already acting like you're walking out on a marriage, it's only going to get worse. Pour one out for the great sex, RIP.
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