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Good Guy Garlan

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About Good Guy Garlan

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    Upjumped Steward

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    Alester Florent's longhall, drinking Alester Florent's wine

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  1. Good Guy Garlan

    [Spoilers] EP702 Discussion

    This episode wasn't as terrible as the first, but it was a whole lot of meh. It was just exposition and repetition of stuff we knew already and all very plain and barebones. Overall, I'm like Missandei when Greyworm took off his pants, wondering "Where's the meat?" (And I don't mean the gross, infected meat like Jorah's. I mean like genuinely meaty scenes).
  2. Good Guy Garlan

    Who is Haldon Halfmaester?

    My (admittedly crackpot) guess as to Haldon's identity goes back to this comment by Stannis: Well, I'm a firm subscriber to a couple of theories: one, that Aegon is a Blackfyre, and two, that Septa Lemore is Wenda the White Fawn. So: - Aegon would naturally represent Daemon Blackfyre, the last descendant of his line. - Wenda AKA Lemore would serve as a connection to Simon Toyne (some people think he might be the father of the child Lemore seemed to have had at some point). - Then Duck could stand for the Vulture King. (Because both ducks and vultures are birds, I guess? I don't know) - And finally Haldon would be connected in some way to this Grand Maester Hareth, whoever he is. But I bet he's an enemy of the Targ regime too. Basically, I think pretty much everyone on the Shy Maid (barring Duck, maybe) knows Aegon is not really a Targ...and that's why they support him. The problem with this is that Walys contributed to the downfall of the Targs. Why then would he be contributing with Dany's return to Westeros now, especially since she's bringing dragons, which the Citadel apparently hates?
  3. Good Guy Garlan

    Who is Haldon Halfmaester?

    For the first time, I actually think a secret identity here is likely if not necessary. Say he's just Haldon, a random guy who got kicked out of the Citadel. What stops him from going to Robert/Cersei/whatever and blabbing about Aegon being alive in exchange for a lordship or gold? What made Varys and Illyrio trust him so much as to let him in on this super secret mission?
  4. Good Guy Garlan

    Would you rather?

    Jon and Ygritte. Can't disagree with Tennyson here. Would you rather have your own father force you to get rid of your unborn child from the man/woman you love or have your own father violently and physically punish the spouse you married in secret while you watch?
  5. I'm so torn on the whole Varys/Illyrio/Aegon deal. On the one hand, I kinda dig the idea of Blackfyre revenge after so many defeats, but I'm not sure if I want Varys to be a BF or any sort of Targ offshoot because the idea of Varys and Illyrio being lowborn conmen taking over a kingdom really appeals to me.
  6. Davos is Hotah lite. There, I said it. I like the guy and all but he's about as deep as a kiddie pool.
  7. I lowkey think Robert + Ashara = Gendry. The dude who paid Gendry's tuition (widely assumed to be Varys) was in fact an agent of House Dayne, hence the colors of his cloak, purple and silver. Or something.
  8. Good Guy Garlan

    Board Issues 4

    The site keeps logging me out every time I turn off my tablet/laptop and then it doesn't recognize my password no matter how many times I type it. So basically I have to go through the whole "lost password" process every time I sign in. Any help?
  9. Good Guy Garlan

    [Spoilers] EP608

    I usually enjoy the show for what it is, but this episode tested my patience. Between Tyrion's cringey comedy hour (he is just NOT funny), Edmure being an absolute dick, and Arya's extremely underwhelming payoff, this season is quickly losing most of the goodwill it earned in the beginning.
  10. Good Guy Garlan

    [TWoW Spoilers] Aeron I (Balticon)

    It makes it look more forced, contrived and artificial rather than the natural, organic progression of the character. But that's just me and my opinion and I don't wanna derail the thread with this topic.
  11. Good Guy Garlan

    [TWoW Spoilers] Aeron I (Balticon)

    I don't wanna derail the thread any longer, so I'll just say this: Cersei had every reason to be paranoid about Tyrion. Not only had she hated him her whole life, but he had just killed her father and her son (as far as she knew) after threatening her to her face, and he vanished without a trace, which means he wasn't acting alone. She also had every reason to be suspicious of the Tyrells, not least because of the coin Varys planted precisely to make her more paranoid. And the beauty of it all is that she's almost right about everything. Tyrion did kill Tywin, Varys really was hiding in the walls, and the Tyrells actually poisoned Joffrey and were trying to fill the Small Council with their own people. So it works well without the chessy ass prophecy. I'd argue it actually works better without it because her fear and paranoia would come from a wholly human place - her deep seated hatred of Tyrion, her jealousy of Margaery, her insecurities, her trying to hold on to Tommen for her own power, etc - rather than some unnecessary magical pseudo retcon.
  12. Good Guy Garlan

    [TWoW Spoilers] Aeron I (Balticon)

    The Evil Queen was in charge of a kingdom, she fell apart, got herself jailed and her enemies pounced on her. Instead of a Walk of Shame she was forced to dance around in hot iron shoes until she died, but the element of punishment remained essentially the same. If there's a deconstruction at work, it's that we're seeing the story from the Evil Queen's perspective, but that's really not enough to justify the prophecy. I just don't see what's the merit of Maggy the Frog and all that.
  13. Good Guy Garlan

    [TWoW Spoilers] Aeron I (Balticon)

    You're right, I guess he's more of an equal opportunity hater, like Trump. So that's a potentially interesting wrinkle we could scratch from his character. I too think this chapter is miles better than the dumpster fire that was Arianne II. Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that? But it also kind of makes me wonder if GRRM's bag of tricks isn't as extensive as we once thought. This chapter had a very real "been there, done that" vibe for me.
  14. Good Guy Garlan

    [TWoW Spoilers] Aeron I (Balticon)

    That's not a deconstruction of the Evil Queen, that's literally the Evil Queen. And no, the prophecy doesn't mean Cersei more complex. It's reductive and ultimately unnecessary, as all the ingredients for her character were there and could've been explored far more organically instead of inserting a last minute prophecy to give her some motivations. For example, her hatred of Tyrion easily stems from the fact that he "killed" her mother during birth and because Cersei, always trying to be like Tywin, followed her father's lead in despising him due to his condition as a dwarf. You don't need some bullshit valonqar nonsense to make her paranoid. She was already paranoid. Ditto Margaery. She would've suspected Margaery anyway because of the coin Varys planted in the dungeons and because Cersei was going to be naturally jealous of anyone earning the love of the commoners and Tommen. There's no need for the Younger, More Beautiful Queen. That's GRRM spoonfeeding us unnecessarily.
  15. Good Guy Garlan

    [TWoW Spoilers] Aeron I (Balticon)

    Exactly this. Cersei is a psychopath, but no matter how much GRRM tried to ruin her with the bullshit prophecy she's still retained some complexity to her madness. Heck, I can say more about Ramsay's character than I can of Euron's: he's got a chip on his shoulder about being lowborn and a bastard, he romanticizes his mother's rape, and he's particularly vicious against Theon because he's everything Ramsay is not. Like you said, even freaking Gregor has his blinding headaches, for crying out loud. I'm gonna take a page from Mr. Plinkett's book and try to describe Euron's character without mentioning his looks, gear or profession: He's...mad, I guess. Cruel...crafty, I suppose. He's...I mean, that's it. I'm drawing a blank. If I had a gun to my head, the most I can say about Euron (and even this is a stretch and a fanwank) is that he doesn't believe in gods (why? No fucking clue) and is (maybe? I'm guessing?) pissed about the whole concept of religion and belief, so he systematically tortures all these different priests to shatter their faith and then he hangs them from the prows as a symbol of the gods' nonexistence or futility. So he's basically a deranged philosophy sophomore student. But that's me fanwanking, actively trying to come up with something to fill the void that's Euron. Sure, he could go interesting places. There's some potential, but I'm not impressed with what I've seen so far.