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Good Guy Garlan

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About Good Guy Garlan

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    Upjumped Steward

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    Alester Florent's longhall, drinking Alester Florent's wine

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  1. Good Guy Garlan

    [Spoilers] EP702 Discussion

    This episode wasn't as terrible as the first, but it was a whole lot of meh. It was just exposition and repetition of stuff we knew already and all very plain and barebones. Overall, I'm like Missandei when Greyworm took off his pants, wondering "Where's the meat?" (And I don't mean the gross, infected meat like Jorah's. I mean like genuinely meaty scenes).
  2. Good Guy Garlan

    [Spoilers] Rant and Rave without Repercussion

    What I didn't like: Everything. Jk. (But not really): - Sansa being that person in camping trips. You know who that is, the guy that only complains about everything and contradicts everyone but never offers any valuable input. If this were a zombie movie, she'd be the first casualty. - Ed Sheeran. - The endless sequence of literal shit at the Citadel, though at least it serves as a metaphor for the show. - Cersei inviting Euron to KL just to tell him to fuck off (although that was a very Cersei-like thing to do). - Dany entering Dragonstone slower than my grandma walking into the house carrying bags of groceries. Euron's new personality was a pleasant surprise, though. (Also, Jesus H. Christ, this site is down in the dump. It's like the people in charge don't give a damn anymore).
  3. Good Guy Garlan

    Who is Haldon Halfmaester?

    My (admittedly crackpot) guess as to Haldon's identity goes back to this comment by Stannis: Well, I'm a firm subscriber to a couple of theories: one, that Aegon is a Blackfyre, and two, that Septa Lemore is Wenda the White Fawn. So: - Aegon would naturally represent Daemon Blackfyre, the last descendant of his line. - Wenda AKA Lemore would serve as a connection to Simon Toyne (some people think he might be the father of the child Lemore seemed to have had at some point). - Then Duck could stand for the Vulture King. (Because both ducks and vultures are birds, I guess? I don't know) - And finally Haldon would be connected in some way to this Grand Maester Hareth, whoever he is. But I bet he's an enemy of the Targ regime too. Basically, I think pretty much everyone on the Shy Maid (barring Duck, maybe) knows Aegon is not really a Targ...and that's why they support him. The problem with this is that Walys contributed to the downfall of the Targs. Why then would he be contributing with Dany's return to Westeros now, especially since she's bringing dragons, which the Citadel apparently hates?
  4. Good Guy Garlan

    Who is Haldon Halfmaester?

    For the first time, I actually think a secret identity here is likely if not necessary. Say he's just Haldon, a random guy who got kicked out of the Citadel. What stops him from going to Robert/Cersei/whatever and blabbing about Aegon being alive in exchange for a lordship or gold? What made Varys and Illyrio trust him so much as to let him in on this super secret mission?
  5. Good Guy Garlan

    Would you rather?

    Jon and Ygritte. Can't disagree with Tennyson here. Would you rather have your own father force you to get rid of your unborn child from the man/woman you love or have your own father violently and physically punish the spouse you married in secret while you watch?
  6. Good Guy Garlan

    Bolton's Burnt Book: Mysterious Reading

    I hear Roose Bolton does car commercials...in Sothoyros.
  7. Good Guy Garlan

    Bolton's Burnt Book: Mysterious Reading

    I have no idea what was in that book, but now I can't stop picturing Roose as Regina George.
  8. Good Guy Garlan

    The Winds of Winter - Small Council

    I don't think Cersei will have a say in the (most likely short-lived) Tyrell Small Council. Win or lose her trial, she's done either way. Like @Lord Varys mentioned upthread, her best shot is to grab Tommen and make a run for Casterly Rock, possibly with the aid of Robert Strong and maybe Qyburn as well. I do think the Tyrells will try to replace Jaime as soon as possible (they'll be fools not to seize that advantage) but I can't think of a Reach fighter that would be a good fit. Maybe one of Matthis Rowan's sons, I don't know. I could also see Lady Nym as Mistress of Whispers.
  9. I'm so torn on the whole Varys/Illyrio/Aegon deal. On the one hand, I kinda dig the idea of Blackfyre revenge after so many defeats, but I'm not sure if I want Varys to be a BF or any sort of Targ offshoot because the idea of Varys and Illyrio being lowborn conmen taking over a kingdom really appeals to me.
  10. Good Guy Garlan

    Shiera, Ashara, and Daenerys on a Friday night

    Sansa would be the Cady Heron of their quartet. Lyanna would be the ~Cool Girl~ who falls in love with the brooding hot musician. So basically Julia Stiles' character in 10 Things I Hate About You.
  11. Good Guy Garlan

    Shiera, Ashara, and Daenerys on a Friday night

    There's also a point where the uber driver goes "oops, wrong turn" and then they all freak the fuck out about how they're gonna get raped and murdered. And when they get home Dany vlogs all about their almost kidnapping on her Youtube channel.
  12. Good Guy Garlan

    POEMS (or other sundry quotes) that remind you of ASOIAF

    Not a poem, but "The Yawning Grave" by Lord Huron reminds me a lot of the Others/Bloodraven/the CotF: I know the rain like the clouds know the sky I speak to birds and tell them where to fly I sing the songs that you hear on the breeze I write the names of the rocks and the trees Oh, you fool, there are rules I am coming for you Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins I tried to warn you when you were a child I told you not to get lost in the wild I sent omens and all kinds of signs I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes Oh, you fool, there are rules, I am coming for you (You can run but you can't escape) Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins (You will open the yawning grave) Oh, you fool, there are rules, I am coming for you (You can run but you can't escape) Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins (You will open the yawning grave)
  13. Davos is Hotah lite. There, I said it. I like the guy and all but he's about as deep as a kiddie pool.
  14. I lowkey think Robert + Ashara = Gendry. The dude who paid Gendry's tuition (widely assumed to be Varys) was in fact an agent of House Dayne, hence the colors of his cloak, purple and silver. Or something.
  15. Good Guy Garlan

    Does fAegon annoy anyone else?

    It's perfectly alright to have a catalyst, though I'd rather not have him be a character that, some highly ambiguous bits of foreshadowing notwithstanding, shows up virtually out of the blue five books in and threatens to uppend the status quo. I mean, real or fake, a Targaryen pretender with a better claim to the throne than Dany taking Stannis' last foothold in the South IS a pretty big deal whichever way you slice it. And the set up is just no on par with it. I guess I would've liked it to be more transparent. Hell, an earlier JonCon cameo might've gone a long way into making me care for that storyline and make it seem less like a tacked on afterthought.
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