Kyll.Ing.

Over the holidays I read through my collection of Don Rosa's Disney Duck comics again. Rosa really put a lot of work into his stories, and they are an absolute joy to read. However, I think he was a tad too firm in his principles, by only sticking to the mythos Carl Barks created and setting a firm timeline (despite Carl Barks himself insisting that each story should be self-contained). Barks wrote stories that took part in his present (between 1947 and 1967), while Rosa stuck to the past by letting all his stories happen in that same time span. I think it caused a bit of stagnation which he would have had to address had he not retired in 2006. That retirement marked the end of an era for the Disney Duck comics, I think. While there were always many writers and artists working on them, and still are, Barks laid the definite ground work that Rosa continued to build on, but he had to fight executive meddling to get there. Disney pays its comic artists a fixed sum per page, and no royalties, which isn't conducive to elaborately crafted stories - you'll get more for a rush job than a Rosa-style masterpiece. Meanwhile, the editors of the comic magazines want short stories that were easier to fit into the fixed page limit of the weekly publications. Rosa was allowed a bit of leeway because of his obvious skill and great popularity. But after Rosa, things have gone sour in my opinion. While short stories may be the bread and butter of the Disney Duck comics, it's the long adventure-style comics of Barks and Rosa that are considered the fine meat, and nobody seems to be making any more of those nowadays. Whenever the comics have a "special issue", or for those long-print Christmas publications, they are re-printing the works of Barks and Rosa. Hardcover collection books? Barks and Rosa again. The editors have failed to foster new talents, and the strict limitations imposed on the artists means even those who have the talent can't climb to the same heights. And so, to my great sadness, this cornerstone of culture is eroding. Comics fail to capture the imagination of today's youth, and while the classics are popular and appreciated, there's a limited supply of them, so long-term fans gradually come to realize they've already read what's worth reading and end their subscriptions. Myself, I've collected the Disney Duck comics since I was five, back in 1996, and it seems like the collection will reach its end some time within the next few years. I've grown up with Donald Duck, as have literally millions of people in Norway since the magazine was first published in 1948, but it doesn't seem to stick around for the next generation. It's in a death spiral, with lower sales every year and editors (possibly reined in by Disney's executives) that refuse to take any chances. The Disney Duck comics died in the US a long time ago, but they've been staying strong in Scandinavia until now. But I don't see them stick around for much longer.

Please allow me to disagree here. If a thread is interesting, it shouldn't be necessary to restart it. New threads on the same subject are anything but welcoming to new participants, as you can't go back through a thread and read the previous talking points, but have to look up previous threads (which is a bit of a chore, so few people bother). For this same reason, you can easily have arguing in circles or talking points being endlessly repeated because nobody can tell what has been said before - the one hundred sixty-seven R+L=J threads should be proof enough of that (Assume 400 posts per thread, 10 sentences per post on average, 10 words per sentence, that's six and a half million words, or nearly four times the length of the entire book series). Things are definitely being discussed in circles even with the policy in place. I'm not going to check, but am willing to bet there are at least two iterations of that thread where people were making the exact same arguments. And of course, a thread restart applied to put a halt to repetitive arguments will just as easily halt fruitful discussion - or fail to do so. So yeah, I can understand and respect that this policy exists, but I'm afraid I still have to grasp why. It seems like an unnecessary hassle, whose negatives far outweigh the positives.

After seeing another of the threads I follow being locked for no good reason other than "oops, we're over 20 pages!", I figured I'd pop in here to air my opinion on this maybe-controversial matter: The max-20-pages rule for threads is stupid. It makes it really difficult to keep a discussion going for long, even on subject matters that are worth talking about for long. Finding old posts becomes a nightmare of searching through several versions of a thread instead of using the search function on one single thread. When a thread becomes locked, conversation can grind to a halt. Steadily locking and abandoning threads encourages the creation of new threads even when older threads cover the same discussion. The "follow this content" function only works for one iteration of a thread, but then the thread gets locked and a new thread gets created, you'll have to renew your subscription too. I see that this thread is allowed to go over the limit, presumably because the admins are subscribed to it and don't want the hassle of continuously creating and subscribing to new threads, which illustrates the issue perfectly. Occasionally, threads will require a steadily updated opening post. It's a hassle to copy it over for each new thread instead of just keeping that same thread in perpetual operation. Especially if the user who maintained the OP has left the board, but the OP still contains useful information. It's 2020, forum software can comfortably handle long threads. This very thread is an example. 75 pages and still runs fine. I've been on other forums with a thread count in the thousands of pages (here is one with 12,700 pages of photos, it runs like clockwork), so I don't see how technical issues could possibly be a limitation here. The rule is inconsistently applied, for instance the discussion threads in the TV show subforums, which shows that the moderators are aware of situations where a thread should be allowed to run over 20 pages. So why is it kept in place elsewhere? Throughout all my years on the Internet, I have never seen this type of rule instated anywhere else. And that's not because this forum is innovative or ahead of its time, but because nobody else see the need to have this strange limitation in place. Try to go to any other forum and suggest to instate such a rule, you'd be the laughing stock of the place within minutes. So ... why is this rule in place, again? It generally seems like a proper pain in the rear for everybody, or at best an archaic leftover from a time when discussion forums were coded using typewriters and powered by potatoes. I have yet to see a good justification of its existence, absolutely nobody seems to like it even though they may accept it, and when I've asked "why did the previous thread have to be locked?" the general answer seems to be "because that's how we do it" as if it were some sort of inevitability. But it's not. It's stupid. That's the short and long story.

I kind of liked the ending. Maybe not spectacular, but it wrapped things up neatly overall. Most of what I feel has been said by others in the thread already. A few random thoughts, though: What fell over King's Landing was clearly snow, not ash. You saw some of it hit Daenerys's face and melt. Had it been ash, the whole epilogue would consist of characters croaking over with pneumonia and lung cancer. Which, admittedly, would have made for quite a spectacle. I think the writers kinda forgot how many balls Sam had in the air. Gilly and the kids are not seen, there's the question of his inheritance to sort out, he has this Maester's degree he's been working on (wonder how he'll be welcomed in the Citadel again?), as the last surviving member of the Night's Watch he probably had some duties to clear up there too... and then he's made Grand Maester as well. Sam's various plot threads were just cut off and replaced with a new one, it seems. The guys who escort Jon to the wall were presumably the first two recruits to the new Watch. I can imagine there being a few Northern soldiers who lost their families in the battle for Winterfell (or before it), and had nothing to go back to. The Night's Watch would at least offer a roof, beds and food. That unknown lord at the seat was presumably from the Westerlands, which had no ruling family save for the prisoner Tyrion. As far as I know, Lannisport was not touched in the show, so he could theoretically be a Lannisport Lannister. It's strange that the moniker "the Six Kingdoms" was adopted. Iron Islands, Westerlands (Unknown), Reach (Bronn), Riverlands (Tully), Stormlands (Gendry), Vale (Robin) and Dorne (Unnamed prince) make seven. There were always more than seven kingdoms in Westeros, apart from that specific time right before Aegon's Conquest. With the North and Crownlands counted too, there actually were nine. The Night's Watch didn't serve as an effective guard force at the start of the series, it owed all its protective capability to the Wall. It arguably didn't serve the purpose of guarding the Seven Kingdoms particularly well in the first place, not for a few centuries, at least, and probably would carry on just the same without having to man the Wall other than for tradition's sake. Jon was effectively elected to lead a prison colony, and that's what he was sent back to do now. That being said, with the White Walkers gone and the Wildlings being friendly, he has a lot more room to define the mission of the Watch, and presumably more personal freedom than, say, Mormont had. He could pick the most capable-looking fellow among his new recruits, and tell him "You have the Wall while I go with the Voluntary Extended Ranger Force to establish some self-sustaining forward bases in the newly freed territories. It might take a few decades, but you guys can probably manage fine in my absence." There is some precedence for a Night's Watch presence north of the Wall, with the Fist of the First Men being an abandoned fort up there. Jon is merely surveying the northern territories along with some natives to guide him, a task that might go on for the rest of his life, and which he might fail to write a report about afterwards.

That, but with the armies we actually see them killed. It's as if they had shown Arya's crushed body lying there every time the scene cut to black... and then the next scene showed her unhurt and in clean clothes again.

I think my main problem with Daenerys's turn to madness was that she seemed to stop for a while. After torching the Iron Fleet, the scorpions on the walls and the city gates, she landed and watched the city surrender before starting to burn it again. If she had simply continued without that pause, burned the city without caring if it surrendered, the implication would have been that she had already snapped before they arrived at King's Landing. As it was shown, it's as if she had her moment of cracking just when her victory was assured and all that was left was the parade. A far bigger problem I have with this episode (and for that matter, the preview for the next) is how Daenerys's armies have been shown to be destroyed several times this season, only for them to be fresh and battle ready in the next episode. We saw the Dothraki being slaughtered almost to the man at Winterfell, then suddenly the next episode tells us that half of them survived. Likewise, the battle of Winterfell saw the Unsullied being wiped out in front of the fire trench, Grey Worm barely escaped while the rest held firm and were slaughtered by the wights... yet half of them apparently survived too. And then the Unsullied traveled on ships to Dragonstone, where the fleet was suddenly and brutally sunk, with only a few men making it to shore... yet thousands were ready at the gates of King's Landing. A city they charged into while Daenerys was torching it. Yet the next episode preview shows the army fully intact after being seemingly obliterated three times. Sure, I could buy that there were survivors, but they keep showing us that everyone dies. Weren't the Unsullied almost wiped out at Casterly Rock too? This overuse of dramatic moments where everyone dies, yet huge masses of soldiers being available in the next episode, really stretches suspension of disbelief. I'm almost expecting the next episode to have ten thousand men of the Night's Watch appear at Winterfell to fight on Sansa's side in an eventual civil war. Likewise, the Red Keep apparently collapses over Cersei and Jaime (sidenote: would Tyrion ever know their fate, or simply believe they got to Pentos?), yet in the next episode preview it still stands intact. It seems like consequence has been thrown entirely out of the window this season. If one episode requires the entire Red Keep to collapse spectacularly, and the next one requires it to be intact when Daenerys takes it, they somehow do both those things. One episode shows the armies being slaughtered to a man for dramatic effect, the next shows the army as if the previous battle never took place. At this point, I'm almost hoping it will end with it all being a dream. The next episode may very well be titled "A Dream of Spring", I guess that's the closest we get. EDIT: One thing I liked, though, was Cersei's in-character arrogance remaining almost to the very end. For the past few seasons, she has been acting as if she was untouchable, as if she would always win. Her lines about "only needing one lucky shot", "At least we have the Iron Fleet" and "At least the Red Keep is holding" shows she believed in her own superiority, but eventually had to face the bitter truth and the hopelessness of her position. In the end, she was no genius, no grand overlord, and had she realized it sooner the war would have been a lot shorter (and she'd probably be happier).

He also expressly distanced himself from the "dark lord" archetype like Sauron, the only-evil entity that comes out of the dark with only killing in mind, and whose entire army will fall if he is defeated. That didn't stop the show writers from running with the trope to the letter.

I actually wonder if the reason why the Night King didn't fight Jon is because his costume doesn't allow for excessive movement. Turning around and slowly raising his arms might be the most acrobatic maneuver the actor was able to pull off, and I could see them cancelling a swordfight because of that. Well, that and budget. Another random thought: No matter how one looks at it, Sam must be a lord now. Either, he is free from his Night's Watch duties and has inherited the seat of the Tarlys (Daenerys would probably acknowledge that without problems), or he's the sole remaining member of the Night's Watch and therefore Lord Commander by default. Or possibly both, which would make administration of his lands pretty awkward. Speaking of lords, there sure aren't as many of them around as there was by the start of the series. How many houses have functional leadership at the moment? Stark, Royce, Greyjoy and Lannister? Possibly Arryn, Tarly and Clegane too? And as mentioned, the estates of the Night's Watch are empty, plus all of the land that has been made available beyond the Wall. Jon and Daenerys could probably give lands and a castle to every survivor in Winterfell at this point, and there are probably still a few deaths left and houses to be erased.

I enjoyed the episode, I can say that much. Well, except that HBO lagged so badly that the picture quality was somewhere south of the intro movie to Age of Empires 1. Especially the scenes with fire in them made my screen a blur of swirling pixels. I guess that's what high traffic does to a streaming service. It feels like it didn't quite deliver on all it teased, however. Characters were dying left and right throughout the entire episodes (wonder if somebody will do a count to see how many deaths we see on screen?), yet the named ones keep avoiding it. How many times did we see Jaime and Brienne fall under the zombie horde only to emerge just fine? Okay, it was sad to see Lyanna fall, and Jorah and Theon too, but it feels like they're killing characters in order of inverse importance. As expected, the battle tactics made little sense, although I guess budget plays a large part. The Dothraki charge in particular was a great waste of the most effective soldiers they had. The dead can only move at running speed, and they have no weapons and thus no projectiles. Mounted archers with hit-and-run tactics could have felled them by the thousands without suffering a single casualty, although they would be hemmed by logistics (fire arrows on horseback would be tricky, and obsidian arrows would deplete their stock pretty rapidly). But archery as a whole was pretty under-utilized too, we saw Theon and his men fell hundreds of wights with them in the Godswood, so one would think a couple of volleys from the defenders would have torn large chunks out of the dead army. Then again, it probably would have torn big chunks out of the budget too. It was also "interesting" to see how downplayed the effectiveness of fire against wights was here. Every other depiction of the wights in the series have shown them light up like a tinderbox when set fire to. This was seen as recently as Episode 1 this season, where the dead Umber child and the corpses around him go up in flames within seconds of being poked with a burning sword. Yet here, the dead seem to extinguish the burning trench by jumping into the flames. Had the show been consistent, they would only have fed the flames. Then again, budget. I was a little disappointed with Bran. What did he do except sit there? Okay, they were using him as bait, but not in a very spectacular way. Likewise, the Night King went down like a wuzz. Heck, had he just marched his army around Winterfell, or just waited a few more months for his attack so the good guys had starved a little (he had already waited for thousands of years, and it's not like the heroes' preparations made much difference), he would have won pretty effortlessly. But no, he goes down in the first open battle he enters. Dramaturgically, this felt like a season finale, and it has the side effect of not making me that excited for the next episode. The dead are dealt with, whatever happens next feels more like a clean-up job than the end-game. As The Hound so fittingly said, "We're fighting death", and they've won now. The remaining resistance is a horny pirate, the queen of bad decisions, an inept Maester, a sellsword army and a single wight in armour. The good guys still have dragons, who decimated battlefields last season, and Arya the perfect assassin. The baddies are at a pretty overwhelming disadvantage here, I feel that the remaining obstacles for the heroes will be quite contrived, so that effective non-threats can be made to look dangerous.

Paraphrasing: "I've grown used to him [the King in the North]". As for your second question, I can't remember.

This episode began pretty much exactly as I had expected! Jaime and Bronn break the surface, crawling ashore. The only thing I was wondering about was which of them would surface first. One issue, though: Tyrion says to the Tarlys: "This war has already destroyed one great house". How is he counting to only end up with one? The Baratheons are goners for sure. And the Tyrells, and the Tullys. You can argue about the Martells. Frey and Bolton were warden houses when their last members died. Also, I guess we will lose a half-dozen named characters in the next episode. So long, everybody who crossed the Wall except for Jon!

A dragon is fairly invulnerable to arrows fired on it from underneath. A girl in a dress sitting on top of it is not. Better to leave Drogon to take out the ships alone, than to stay on top of him as a very soft and high-value target.

*sigh* They set up a very good Arya scene in the last episode. And they were tantalizingly close to delivering on it. But they didn't. I was waiting for Lady Crane to say something like "it's not as bad as it looks" or "good thing no organs were hit" or "you were well prepared with the padding and all, but you did get a few cuts we should have a look at". Just anything to hint that Arya's wounds turned out less serious than they appeared, that would excuse her running around again a day later. Put another way: if the wounds were never meant to be serious, they shouldn't show her be seriously wounded in the first place. Upon rewatching, I'm less disappointed by the scene in her hideout, though. She's panting, can barely lift Needle at first... but she does reveal that she's less hurt than she appears, if only for a split second before cutting the candle. I think they could have afforded to give us another hint of Arya being in better shape than she appears, but watching the scene closely, she does pull off a feigned retreat reasonably well. And I think we've seen the last of Arya for this season. There are very many plot threads left hanging, and only so much time to resolve them. I think we had our final Brienne/Pod scene too, and we could possibly have seen the last of Jaime. There's a lot of major plot left in the North, both with Jon/Sansa and Bran. Ideally, we should have the final Tower of Joy flashbacks too. Dorne set up something, but after the first two episodes it's been quiet. I think we will see Theon and Yara arrive in Meereen, maybe Sam arrive in Oldtown (or maybe they're leaving him off after he left Horn Hill), and lots of stuff in King's Landing. Not sure about Euron, the writers might have decided that "let's go kill them" is an adequate ending of the season for him. There should also be more stuff with the Hound, if only just a cliffhanger. The next two episodes will either be packed with short scenes, or some characters have finished their arcs already.

What's with all the double- and quadruple posting all of a sudden? Haven't people heard about the edit button?

I enjoyed this episode too. Lots of good setting-up, Lyanna Mormont is a total badass, and Dorne appears to have sunk into the sea. Other people have touched upon the most discussable moments of the episode, so let's try to find other angles to view this from: First and foremost, I really liked the setting of the group of people (war refugees?) building a sept. Gives insight in Westerosi building technology (my own field of profession), their sense of community, and shows us that people are coming together to try to build a future in a war-ravaged country. I'd have liked the scene even without Sandor. Shame that the Brotherhood ruined their little project. Also, what was the stuff they had stuffed into the septon's mouth when he was hanged? House Mormont may be small, and in a remote northern island, but they don't seem to be slacking off on technology. While the rest of Westeros has smoky halls with braziers and tiny, coloured windows, the Mormont hall is a technological marvel for its time. There's clearly a window behind Lyanna with glass panes more than a meter tall, and other clear-glass windows high upon the wall (and clear glass is a bit of an achievement in itself - "natural" glass is green or brown). They have a modern fireplace, rather than the hearths shown in the rest of Westeros. Not even the Red Keep itself showcases this level of architecture. While the rest of Westeros appears to be stuck in the equivalent of our 15th or 16th century, little Lyanna rules in an 18th or 19th century castle. I hope the soldiers from Bear Island carry muskets and flintlock pistols. If Arya survives the stabbing and is ready for parkour in the next episode, I have to say the stabbings of this season have been fairly realistic on average. Areo Hotah (huge, muscular guy) and Roose Bolton (fairly fit, middle-aged man) both died within seconds of a single stab. With Arya getting a few stabs and twists in the guts without long-term damage, the average severity of stabbing should be just about realistic. This, by the way, shows why averages aren't always the best metric to measure things by. The wildlings aren't as sly as Southerners, it's said. "When we say we will do something, we do it." None of the wildlings actually said they were going to fight for Jon. They gave him a handshake, though, so it seems they want to follow him, at least. Speaking of glass again, was that a glass bottle Sandor drank water/ale from in the last scene, before he went to check on the aftermath of the suspiciously quiet massacre? If so, that's a bit of an anacronism. While glass blowing may be practised in Westeros, it'd be a craft comparable to jewellery. Making trinkets for the rich, rather than producing tools for the masses. By the way, I think we're headed for a Cleganebowl, but not as part of Cersei's trial by combat. For once, that would be "wasting" the badassery of the Mountain. He should be able to show his strength once or twice, and get Cersei out of her current mess. Then the road would be open for Sandor to find and kill him.

A little late now to make a proper long comment, but I have to say this: That ball-and-chain of Benjen is a brilliant weapon to fight the White Walkers. A hollow ball filled with burning fuel, setting the notoriously flammable wights ablaze with a light touch. If that thing has obsidian spikes, it'd be a one-hit-kill weapons against the Walkers and their servants alike.

So... Littlefinger is out riding his jet horse again (or is it a TelePetyr?). There's a few thousand kilometres between the Vale and the Wall, and Mole's Town is hardly a few hours' ride from Castle Black, yet Littlefinger acts as if he has been travelling for a day at most. "The knights of the Vale are encamped at Moat Cailin." Yeah, that's further from Mole's Town than Helsinki is from Madrid, yet the show seems to treat it as if they're hanging out just down the road. Wouldn't be so bad if they didn't start off every episode showing us the map. And also that Winterfell is located smack on the only road between the two locations, so getting past the Boltons undetected would be a bit of a hassle. I'm merely having fun pointing out the ridiculousness, thought, it's not like I didn't like the scene. Sansa making Littlefinger speechless? That's a classic. Even though he manages to drop the line about the Blackfish taking Riverrun, which screams "too good to be true" so loudly that even admiral Ackbar would have commented it with a simple "duh". Bran manages to find a fine little homage to Lord of the Rings in his first White Walkers scene. In the zombie army, there's a long-haired skeleton with a smaller skull tied to the top of his head. Reminded me a lot of that orc from Return of the King. He also witnesses the creation of the White Walkers, but the question remains when this happened. Was it all those millennia in the past, at the onset of the Long Night, or did the Children revive their old arts to make a new batch of White Walkers just a few years ago? I mean, if they did it once, they could possibly have done it again. Question still remains why they would do it now, but at least it answers what the White Walkers were up to for all those years - they simply weren't around. Some translators were probably crying themselves to sleep after watching this episode. "Hold the door" translates into "Hodor" easily enough in English, but, for instance, in French the phrase is "Tenir la porte". Unless Hodor is called Tenort in French, some translator will have one hell of a task explaining the name to his readers. Plot-essential, untranslatable puns makes the translators' work a lot harder, and the result rarely looks good. See for instance the Danish translation of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, where it's revealed that Voldemort's birth name was "Romeo G. Detlev Jr." I'm a little sad to see the series invoking time travel. That's a whole bucket of worms I'd have preferred them not to touch. It appears to be a stable time loop, though, so that the past cannot be changed. Still, the explanation "It was Bran in the future all along!" doesn't sit very well with me. I'm also a little frowny at the fact that the Children of the Forest were carrying incendiary hand grenades. And their aim appears to be terrible, they blow a bunch of wights into smithereens as they approach the cave, yet they don't chuck a single one in the direction of the actual White Walkers. Nor do they seem to remember the obsidian trick. They have a good vantage point at the cave mouth, they have obsidian-tipped spears (stacked neatly against the wall of the cave mouth, not even three meters away), they carry bows and arrows, and the White Walkers walk slowly towards them. Obsidian-tipped arrows would have ended the White Walkers there and then in a few seconds. Anyway, anyway. I enjoyed the heck out of this episode. I like to nitpick on the faults a little, but overall I'm having really fun watching it. I liked the scenes, the acting, the way the story is developing, and it was nice to see Varys thrown off his balance. Euron Greyjoy could have been slightly madder, and he has twice as many eyes as he should have, but overall, he gets a pass too. There are many TV shows out there that screwed up in way too many ways, but GoT has managed to stay enjoyable for me, at least. I like it.

It's been a while since I saw the relevant episode now, so I have to ask: Did Stannis confess to killing Renly on-screen when Brienne found him? I can't remember much dialogue between them, only that Brienne struck down... something (Stannis being out of shot). The next episode's preview shows Littlefinger meeting Sansa again... presumably in the North, at the Wall. If I remember the distances correctly, that's, what, 2000 km away from the Vale, as the dragon flies? Seems like he hasn't parted with that jet horse he used last season. Wonder how quickly the knights of the Vale could close the same distance? Real-world figures suggest it'd take months, at the very least, to move an army that far. Barbarossa spent a year moving his army from Mainz in modern-day Germany to Iconium in Turkey, for instance, and if I recall correctly, that's a shorter voyage. Another thing that made me think... why did Osha have freedom of the castle? She was brought to Winterfell in chains, yet came knocking on Ramsay's door without them.

In short, I really liked this episode. War drums beating in King's Landing, in the Vale, in the North and in Vaes Dothrak. Something big is rising, on several fronts. Robin Arryn seems to have grown into adolescence since we last saw him. He's still friggin' useless, rude, can't keep his focus, and is easily manipulated. He might not be a villain, but he's not written to be likeable, that's clear. Brienne/Tormund shipping... well, in some ways, it would fit. Also, the first few pages of this thread are fun to read. Certain people claiming to hate the show, yet they make sure to be logged in here as they watch the episode, the minute it comes out, to liveblog their criticism, and they keep coming back week after week. "I don't like it... but I'm going to watch and discuss it as soon as it airs!". Complaining and moaning, moaning and complaining, yet working hard to be early on the ball, like clockwork, every week. You are so full of "class". It's almost as fun as those who've been saying "That's it, I give up on this show" since season 3, yet still make sure to post essentially that very same sentence within an hour of every new episode's release. You'd think they'd at least have the capacity to understand how this makes them look. Not classy and above it all, but struggling desperately to appear as such, and failing spectacularly. It'd be sad if it wasn't so funny.

I don't think Randyll Tarly was disgusted enough with Sam to kill him. It was just that Dickon would be a much better heir, and Samwell had to get out of the way somehow. Randyll would probably have sent him to the Wall anyway, but sending him off with a threat made Sam more certain that the Watch was the only feasible option. With Sam no longer an heir to House Tarly, I think Randyll will look upon him more favourably. It should help too, that he comes from he Watch with a mission, and bringing a girl and a son with him. At least that marks him as a man, and his lack of manliness was what Tarly missed from him. Also, my gripe with the Tower of Joy... the keep felt a little too big. I mean, I always pictured it as a hideout Rhaegar had built as a love shack for him and Lyanna, and it's said to have been small enough for Ned and Howland to pull down by themselves, to build graves for their fallen companions. I just hadn't pictured it to be any more than, say, a small house, ironically dubbed a "tower" by Rhaegar. In the show, it was almost as big as a small castle, visible from miles away. Then again, it's completely feasible that it was an old Dornish watchtower along a long-since-erased border, built to have a garrison of a dozen men and horses. It just raises the question of how Ned and Howland could tear it down. On the other hand, they did suddenly obtain a lot of spare horses, so...I guess anything is possibe. It just clashed a little with what I had pictured.

I think we got the Arya scene we needed this season: A training montage. Having her do one small thing, one fight every episode, would have grown boring very quickly (say, last season or so). Gotta love the expression on Melisandre's face after Jon's resurrection. "What the hell?!? It worked?!? Oh, better put on my mask of mysticism." Neat nod to see Qyburn trying (and by the looks of things, failing) to be Varys. The episode also cemented the fact that the Small Council is acting independently of Cersei, and that (at least everybody believes that) Robert Strong is ser Gregor. Awkward scene in Meereen is awkward, but at least we see Varys in action. Nice of them to display his talents. To my knowledge, Ramsay never saw a direwolf earlier (not in the show, at least?). He wouldn't know what he was looking for. Also suspicious is the fact that Osha is with Rickon. She has been his companion/bodyguard for a while now. Ramsay never knew her (admittedly, my memory of his time as Theon's advisor is a little murky). Theon trusted Osha, and she proved to be tougher and more of a Stark loyalist than anticipated. Speaking of Stark loyalists, Smalljon Umber appears not to be a Bolton man, at least. He calls out Ramsay on all the bad things, refuses to kneel or pledge fealty, and brings Rickon straight to the place where he'd rule the North if Ramsay fell. I've heard about rumours about what'll eventually happen to Rickon this season (haven't we all?) from somebody who claims to have been an extra on the set, but no matter how it'll turn out, it seems like they're building up something big for Rickon. I think the Vaes Dothrak scene dropped the most interesting line this episode: Apparently, most if not all of the khalasars are gathered for some sort of great council. Time for Daenerys to put on another crown?

I can tell you from firsthand experience that the waking up bit was actually quite realistic. Back muscles twitching, eyes flaring open, and trying to suck all the air in the room into one's lungs with one breath... pretty much how I saw a victim of heart failure react to being rescuscitated in real life. And he had only been out for a minute, before we got his blood circulation going with CPR. Keep in mind that the body experiences drowning if CO2 can't be removed from the lungs (the human body is actually incapable of detecting a lack of oxygen, it's the excess CO2 we feel), so getting air into "dead" lungs is a reaction similar to being rescued from drowning in water. The body is panicking and thrashing, fighting to get air to the lungs. Now, realistically, Jon would calm down awfully quick and go blank again. What happens after that, I can't tell, the paramedics took over from there. Anyway, I actually liked this episode. A neat little reveal with Hodor there, and I can understand the deviation from the name Walder. Wyllis isn't too bad a name, actually. The first scene in King's Landing was... well, may I say nice? Bringing back a briefly seen character from the previous season (is it the same actor, though?), while also showing off the strength of Robert Strong. Even in semi-death, he appears to have retained his love for head smashing. Tommen building some character is good too. He's more than just Cersei's puppet, he starts acting and reacting to things himself, and making decisions of his own. And now he goes to Cersei for advice on how to be strong. The last Lannisters will go down hard, it seems. Meanwhile, the High Sparrow shows that he's becoming a power player. And Bran won't be in the cave forever? Hooray! It's a poor end for such a central character, rotting away in a remote cave. Worst case, they'll kill him, but even that is better than "rooted forever after". The dragons are loose in Meereen too. Or at least out of their chains. Wonder if Tyrion told anybody? I can imagine somebody trying to get into the dungeon to kill the dragons, only to find they aren't as chained up as the plan hinged on them to be. With Astapor and Yunkai fallen to the slavers again, we might also see the war of Slaver's Bay in the show, from which I expect some good action scenes toward the end of the season. The show has yet to feature dragons in full action on a battlefield, and what better occasion will they get than this? Ramsay kiling Roose was... unexpected. I'd expected him to try, of course, but Roose always came across as the guy in control. The one who'd anticipate the hidden knife, and pacify Ramsay before he could threaten his person. Roose was always the kennelmaster, and Ramsay a dog on his leash. Ramsay might be evil, but never came across as particularly smart. I always thought Roose would kill Ramsay first. Then again, Roose did die awfully quickly to that single stab, so maybe he's just faking. A guy can dream, right? Or Ramsay had just got one of those insta-kill-knives the Sand Snakes used to kill Areo Hotah with a single prick. On the subject of baby-killing, it was obviously included for the shock value, but I think it'd be even more powerful if it was just implied. Walda going to meet lord Bolton, following Ramsay into a room, and then, as the door close behind them, Ramsay saying "I am lord Bolton". Not knowing how they met their end would be more powerful than the stock "releasing the hounds", but oh well. Gotta be explicit, I guess, lest there be a hundred theories about how they both survive and will come back for revenge. And Theon is leaving Sansa. Going home, wherever that may be. Is Winterfell home, will he go for Ramsay and go Ironborn on his ass? Or will he head to the Iron Islands, encounter Euron, and... somethingsomething? I expect there to be more in store for Theon, some way or another. Arya's blind stickfighting had improved noticeably since last time, but I still think it feels "rushed" to send her on already. On one hand, she clearly haven't mastered the whole blindness thing. On the other, nice to see them not drag her story out too much. Another scene with her as a blind beggar fighting the waif would have felt too much, even if she had improved to the point of holding her own. Lastly, it was interesting to see Melisandre so broken. Just giving up, with no sense of direction or belief in herself. Davos called her to action one last time, and I thought it was fun seeing Tormund go "screw this, I'm outta here". Then Melisandre gives up too (I'd like to see what she does next. Go have a drink with Tormund?), and Davos decides this probably wasn't the best plan after all either. Seems like Melisandre could be a pretty good hairdresser, if that red-priestess-thing isn't working out in the long run. As for Jon not warging Ghost as he was expected to... I actually think he did. When warging, the animal instincts are still dominant, so Ghost would still be acting like a direwolf with Jon inside his head. Then Jon left his head, Ghost lost consciousness - Jon's, and it took a while for Ghost to fully get back in charge over his body. Hence why he was so sleepy all of a sudden - for a short while, nobody was in control. Subtle, but I like it. Overall, I'd give the episode a 3/3. I enjoyed it. Looking forward to the next!

Overall, I think it was an enjoyable episode. I was excited. For a moment, I thought Theon would die, maybe Sansa too. I also appreciated the humour of Tyrion speaking Valyrian so poorly that he's misunderstood by the commoners - though the graffiti in plain English a hundred metres down the road dampened that a little. I liked the negotiation scene between Davos and Thorne. Think it through: Davos wasn't asking for mutton out of fear of starvation. He was testing the water. Thorne had him by the balls, so to speak, and had no reason to comply with Davos' wishes. By offering Davos more, he was sweetening the deal. "Open the door, and everything will be fine." That's a big, red flag right there. Davos just tricked Thorne into offering a deal that was too good to be true. Smart guy, Davos. Biggest disappointment of the episode: Areo Hotah's death. A light poke in the back, and the huge, muscular bodyguard falls dead instantly. Contrast gouty, old Doran, who gets a knife right in the heart, and still manages to continue the conversation for a minute or so. Areo should have died harder. The Sand Snakes teleporting onto the ship to kill Trystane was a little puzzling, but I guess the scene could have taken place weeks after his arrival in King's Landing (so they had time to get there), and they simply got on board asking to speak to the prisoner. Lowly guards could probably be convinced to look the other way. As for why Trystane was kept on board the ship, and not in the Red Keep, that's a bigger mystery. Another irk: In the scene where Sansa and Theon are captured, the Bolton men have barely restrained dogs snapping at their faces, barking loudly, ready to tear the throat out of anything that moves. Then Brienne and Podrick show up, and the dogs vanish instantly. They're nowhere to be seen, all of a sudden. Their sudden absense is quite notable, since up until that moment, they've been barking and snapping for a minute or so. Fanservice of the episode: Melisandre naked. Extreme fan disservice of the episode: Melisandre naked. I really did not see that coming. As for that bathtub scene in a previous season, when she didn't have it... I guess she kept the ruby close by to keep her disguise. For the sake of your mental health, just picture that she hid it in her hair. It might also be that dropping the disguise requires a mirror, that she sees herself. I'm looking forward to the next episode already. As fun as it is to poke at their plot holes, they are quite entertaining, and they tell an exciting story.

Would it be inappropriate to point out the irony of the situation? I mean, somebody putting loads of effort into something we all know and love (and doing a great job at it!), promising that the expected "delivery" of the Next Big Thing will happen "soon", but with unfortunate and unforeseen delays time and time again, and the process becoming more complex than they originally envisioned? It sounds like something I've heard before...   Back then, the end result was great, though, well worth the wait and leaving us eager for more. So I have faith in you!     For the next one, maybe you should announce it only when it's finished? That way, fans won't nag you as much about it, and you won't feel bad promising dates and then having to set them back.