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Everything posted by JonSnow4President

  1. I don't think there's a scenario where it really makes sense.
  2. Moat Cailin is only special in that is has never been taken from the South. That still hasn't occurred. It's vulnerable to the North.
  3. I absolutely despise A+J=T. It undercuts Tywin's hatred of Tyrion, by giving it the legitimization that he wasn't Tywin's son at all, let alone the closest child in following in his abilities. A + J = J + C I can tolerate more, as I at least feel like it adds to that irony, even if I believe it's impossible from book knowledge.
  4. Back in the episode where Kenny was a whore who would do anything for money, he climbed inside Ms. Crabtree's vagina for several hours, dying from the "tight virgin flower" pressure.
  5. He could only hear "Robert" in the whisper, and thought the whole "Robert loved her" was 100% legitimate and totally important.
  6. After giving a shownly friend an hour long explanation for why Jon Snow is not Robert and Lyanna's son, I'm becoming more and more annoyed with this episode. The only shownly I've known that knew Jon was Rhaegar's child was the one who asked me to spoil it for him 2 years ago. I've gotten a couple mad kings and a couple Roberts, but holy hell, how do you do that poorly? And there is no argument they're trying to keep it a secret, since HBO released an infographic including the lineage.
  7. I'm the same way as Dark. There have just been so many problems going on (many of which are what I would call legacy issues, but apply this season every bit as much), I don't think I've given anything the last 2 seasons above a 5 (which I define as average). While there are things in earlier seasons I think failed (Talisa in general, the portrayal of Jon, etc.), it was individual scenes failing rather than entire episodes at a time. Instead of maybe hating a Talisa scene and a Jon scene and enjoying almost everything else, I'm kind of ambivalent on a Dany scene, only mildly annoyed at a Sam scene, and like a Cersei scene, while the rest of the episode has me laughing (in the wrong way, like Varys teleporting or Jon knocking a charging horseman 10 feet back with a sword slash), crying (not at something that is trying to invoke tears), drinking, or banging my head furiously against the couch. So over time, my graph has definitely trended downward. Hopefully with the increasing concentration of storylines, they'll be able to get that depth and attention back in the last couple seasons. I want to like the show. It just has not held up its end of the bargain recently.
  8. There's a difference between using to use imagination for something small. However, it is a hallmark of bad writing (and jarring when viewing I can be fine with Arya infiltrating the Towers. Since they established the mask ability (although I think they messed up doing that), I can be fine with her disguising herself. But killing the #2 and #3 men in a garrisoned fort off screen? I could deal with actually cooking/carving them off screen if there was some indication of how she might do that in a crowded castle kitchen amidst a feast, but her being able to do so is so implausibly difficult that it doesn't work. And that's the key. They don't ask to imagine small things, or logical gaps. They ask us to imagine things that DEFY ALL LOGIC, and I strongly suspect it's because they logically can't come up with a convincing , but damn it, they have their scenes they want to do, regardless of they can logically get the characters there.
  9. You know, I'm at 3 out of 10. A couple cool moments (we really need more Jon Bradley for example), but overall, a whole lot of wtf just happened. I'd give it a 2 out of 10, but I laughed so hard at Preston Jacob's recap that I gave it the extra point. If someone can watch the Lancel section without laughing, I don't know what to say.
  10. One of the better episodes of the season (not that that really says much, the bar is sooooo low). I want to sleep on it before I rate anything, but God, I feel like there was so much that just happened for seemingly no goddamn reason this episode, and a few things that were a little over the top (I get that we need to bullshit a way to have a viewpoint for the wildfire. The stab (but not finish) and crawl only to just miss it was ridiculous though. Two brand new rulers crowned for reasons. "The North Remembers" being thrown out there for serious by someone when it's pretty patently clear the North doesn't fucking remember a damn thing. For as much as show Sam LOVES Gilly, he sure left her there pretty damn fast. Also good to know Randall doesn't care enough about his super special sword to hunt down a carriage on the main road. Personally, the music got overbearing several minutes into the Kings Landing scenes. Glad to know there are absolutely zero ramifications about Cersei withholding information that arguably got her brother killed. Some bad, some wtf, a whole lot of meh, and very little redeeming about the whole thing. Definitely won't be a high score.
  11. Body walls have occurred in history. But they always involve a chokepoint, and don't happen in the middle of a fucking field. It's like saying Hannibal would be able to beat the same amount of mordern American infantry, because he beat those numbers once in something completely unrelated. Sherman's overrun of Fort McAllister may have happened, but that doesn't mean it should be used as justification for a 20 minute storming of Winterfell. It's comparing apples and battleships.
  12. One of my guilty pleasure shows is Moonshiners. And the West Texas Investors club. I love the Transformers movies, Talladega Nights, and other patently ridiculous movies with plot holes and contrivances. Hell, the movie I've enjoyed the most in the past year was Kingsman because it was so unexpectedly good. I judge things within the frame I expect of them. So for Moonshiners, I'm expecting an obviously fake "reality" show. For Transformers, I'm expecting Optimus Prime riding a fire-breathing-T-rex-transformer level of action. I fell in love with Game of Thrones (I came to the show before the books) because of the character interactions way back in Season 1, and how those were the driving elements of the politics, the characters' actions, and ultimately the events of the story. I began to expect "high brow" character based drama, with the occasional action sequence as a sweetener, which seemed to flow naturally from the characters and events. I can go back, and while I become more annoyed with certain things that I think are indicative of future fubars, they are relatively minor at that point in time, and I still enjoy the early seasons of the show. But somewhere along the line (I think directly proportional to the amount of time that has passed from the Red Wedding), D&D have made the shift from that to the spectacle, stabby stab and Big Battle Episode being the main attractions. And there's nothing wrong with liking that. On that level, I think Game of Thrones would still be an enjoyable show, which is generally a technical marvel, despite some bad scenes (Dany's magic flamethrowers in the Temple of the Dhos Khaleen for example). But for those of us craving for the high-brow drama that the show started as, the show falls hilariously flat. As far as how that relates to ratings, everyone has different scales. I've seen people who do nothing but trash the episode in their post, but they give it a 7 as if that was a bad grade. Other people (me included) leave 5/6 as average, and thus in a season that has been particularly poor (particularly for those still craving that high-brow drama), have never given anything higher than a 4. An 8 is great, a 9 is holy shit, and a 10 is the pinnacle of what I expect (off the top of my head, I can only name 2 episodes I would give a 10 in Baelor and Blackwater). That doesn't mean they're without flaws (nothing ever is), but that it succeeds at that level despite its flaws in my mind.
  13. So, I will admit my statistics isn't as up to snuff as it should be given my job title, but in what world is something composing 5-10% (depending on how you're defining low rankings) as outliers? They do show that there is a clustering of activity around that point for some reason. I know if 5% of our sample was wrong in audit testing, we would be f***ed, and would consider that indicative of a pervasive issue with the population, unless we could identify why those specific 5-10% were off (maybe all performed by same accountant).
  14. Another absolute failure character motivation wise. And like episode 8 last year, another good spectacle event (the only reason this isn't in the 1-2 territory for me), albeit with certain problems within it (waaaaaaay too much shaky cam, I literally had to pause the battle for a minute when Jon sword swiped a guy backwards off his horse 15 feet so I could stop laughing, not sure how the pile of bodies was supposed to happen, Wildling archers refusal to kill Ramsey, etc.) I absolutely love how they're doubling down on how utterly ridiculous it was to burn Shireen within the context of showverse, given the required geography to make the scene work (considering they were returning from Winterfell, and marching an Army back there within at absolute most 32 or so hours from parley to battle.) I'm a big Stark supporter. And the show has managed to make me not feel something seeing that Bolton banner fall and the Stark banner loaded up in its place. I think that is the biggest damn indictment of this season.
  15. Storyline. With a few exceptions, the acting on this show is top notch. But great acting can't save a bad story/dialogue.
  16. I really really really don't even feel like trying to explain this one. When Hodor getting a heroic death (and that small statement, stripped of all the context around it) is the only positive thing I can say, they done fucked up. Sansa? Makes no damn sense. Arya isn't fucked up, but is unremarkable. Dany if full WTF. Tyrion is full WTF (although damn, Conleth Hill acted the shit out of that IMO). Bran is ultra super dooper WTF. When the show is this focused on a few storylines, and I can't begin to explain the actions of some of the main characters of the episode (Sansa, Tyrion, Night's King, Bloodraven, Iron Islanders), I'm going to give it a horrible damn rating. Like seriously, Sansa is trusting Littlefinger's word that Riverrun has an available army, but can't trust Jon? WTF. WTF. WTF. Normally, I can at least vaguely see where I think the showrunners are trying to go (but that I think they either fail at, or its just a stupid ass direction to go). But I have nothing here. And of course, they have everyone's favorite Wight's. Spider Wights! Spider Wights! Does whatever a Spider can! Crawls on walls. Stabs at dogs. Breaks down doors. Look out, Hold the Door HODOR! (think of Spiderman theme)
  17. Yes, he finally asked the question he should have asked 3 episodes ago. You don't see how many people would find this unsatisfactory and a failure for portraying this particular aspect of Davos. Something that should happen in episode 1, or maybe 2 may fail if it isn't shown until episode 4.
  18. I'm merely saying many people have predicted what Dany would do so far this season. And "possibly" is merely for the time factor this season. As far as Jon Snow not being surprising because I'm a book reader, my best friend, who I don't talk about ASOIAF/GoT much so I don't spoil anything for him, knew Jon was coming back, even when I tried to say no when he asked me about it.
  19. Drogon comes, and this makes the Dothraki follow Dany. She returns to Mereen, likely to end the seige brought on by Yunkai, Astapor, and Volantis (I'm assuming this is going to come up based on recent events. This wasn't something everyone in R&R predicted all throughout the summer), possibly with a decision to set sail for Westeros at the end. But if you seriously thought her being taken back to the Dhos Khaleen was unpredicatble, you haven't been reading/watching. If you thought Dany wouldn't be plot armored from Dothraki rape, you haven't been watching. And if you thought Dany proudly reciting her titles like she is in a position of power, even though she isn't, you haven't been watching.
  20. They're just completely incomparable on every level. I enjoy Moonshiners more than I enjoy Game of Thrones, but I will be the first to admit that Game of Thrones, for all the shit I give it, is a better show on every level. But I watch with an entirely different set of expectations.
  21. Not to mention we're working with incredibly different scales for each person. I would call a 5 average, and would only ever give one episode (Blackwater) a 10 because I think it is legendary despite it's minor flaws. But someone who only says bad things and gives it a 7 is using an entirely different scale. Then you have some people who rate show only, some whose rating includes quality of the adaptation, some who only seem to care if there was action, etc.
  22. So, if he's setting Ramsey up, he's just giving them the heir to Winterfell, assuming someone who is more treacherous than any of us is okay with a regular wolf head instead of a direwolf, and never did anything to try and reinstall the Starks (or leverage his possession of Rickon into power for his family). So even if it's a setup, it still makes no damn sense. Yeah. Who could have predicted her being taken to the Dhos Khaleen (EVERYONE), recite her titles in deadpan voice (EVERYONE), and magically be protected from Dothraki rape by the Dothraki not acting like Dothraki (only people critical of D&D's consistency). I've seen all of those posted before the trailer for this season comes out (reciting titles is more just a broader joke that she only does that, but I'm counting it...). You really need to spend more time on this forum if Dany's story is unpredictable for you. Through 3 episodes, everything Dany has been done boils down to those 3 things.
  23. Yeah, I'm going South to protect Gilly and the baby. Jon: "Okay" Technically, you're right. He has approval. But they don't care at all about the flirting with the precipice of Sam's vows.
  24. Wow wow wow wow. You know, f*** leaving adaptation out of my damn score this episode. To clarify, 10/10 is legendary on my scale (only Blackwater would receive that rating), while 5/10 is average (I'm always mystified at people giving something that was "quite a dull episode" a 7. The Wall - 6/10 So, to be nice, I'll say the good first. This was good Kit. Like, holy shit. We also finally get Jon Snow showing his lighter side in the brief moment with Ned, and f***ing smiling. As a large Jon fan, this has been one of my longstanding gripes with the show. That's all I got. I cannot begin to say how massively annoyed I am with them removing the warging from everyone but Bran. And even though I wouldn't call myself religious by any stretch, the "nothing is nothing" makes me want to punch their smug faces. Their writing makes me think of the types of assholes that act superior because they don't believe in a flying spaghetti monster, and D&D have reinforced this comparison at every turn remotely involving religion or the afterlife. Given the show "tastefully" cutting away for Stannis Daughter-burners death, I'm a little put off that they don't do the same for the 13ish year old driven to his actions by his parents being killed and threatened to be eaten in front of him. I only hate Olly with a passion because of the hamfisted use of him in every goddamn wall scene, and Jon only caring about Olly. Last words? Not Ghost, who he has a spiritual connection with. Not Arya, his special sister. Not traitor, not something related to the watch or honor. Not "the cold." Not blessed silence. Olly. His first thoughts after coming back? Olly. The one that seems to haunt him? Olly. THANK GOD Olly is gone. Jon at least looks each man into the eyes before he forces the mechanism of hanging himself, so I'm not upset with the actual method of execution. But how is it just okay that he kept his office solely to execute these men? How is that trying to do the right thing? And his brothers are just going to be totally okay while he walks off? I get why he has a great argument for why he should (although this would then void his power to execute Thorn & Co). But not addressed at all, for the sake of the dramatic walk out. Dorne - 1/10. That's right, I'm rating Dorne. A bastard paramour and kinslaying bastards are now the rulers of Dorne. Those Dornish are so f***ing crazy. Mereen - 1/10 Wow, no cock jokes. We have progress. I'm giving Varys a pass for not really having time to set up an adequate spy network, because he's Varys, I have no idea how much time has actually passed (the 2 days of the wall or the months Cersei refers to? But Varys not hurting kids, the people he mutilates so they can't spill his secrets? Okay, that's a joke! (And holy shit, Qyburn doesn't seem like a PSA for not taking candy from strangers at all). All of this just so we know Astapor, Yunkai, and Volantis are bankrolling the harpies? I don't think Tyrion's "conversation" scene needs anything at all. "I get drunk and know things" is an early favorite for most meta line of the season. Kings Landing - 2/10 Yup, Qyburn is totally missing his white van. Yeah, no one cares that Qyburn has literally made a zombie into a Kingsguard. Yup, completely remove the pursuit of lost honor concept you established in season 3, let alone the books, for Jaime. And we have all the cool kids smirking at the social outcasts and moving to a different lunch table because they can't kick them out of their table with the teacher standing there. AND THE TYRELLS ARE JUST NOW STARTING TO ACT ABOUT THEIR ENTIRE NEXT GENERATION BEING TAKEN CAPTIVE. Just now. After months of timeline in Kings Landing (this for sure is certain). And it wouldn't be complete without a FART JOKE. They are making fat jokes in "the best show on TV." The only redeeming value here I think is Jonathan Pryce completely controlling the situation through sheer dialogue, even if most of the dialogue was a nonsensical shout out to Mother's day. Sure is nice to see Tommen care so much about his Queen too. Somewhere in the middle of the Narrow Sea - 4/10 Sam Oathbreaker doesn't care (really) about the watch. He only cares about his wife and his son (after all, he's the father now). At least he's not planning on retaking his brithright at Horn Hill, and is still at least planning on earning his chain and heading back to Wall. I know we really needed to catch up with these guys, but it feels like this could have been done so much better with them arriving in Oldtown and then realizing Gilly couldn't stay for some reason (say, low income neighborhoods are scary or something). Overall just a resounding meh. The House of Black and White - 3/10 I was a little forgiving of Arya in episodes 1 and 2 story because I thought they wanted to show progression without going the montage route. Well, I was wrong. (Que "You're gonna need a montage" from South Park). We at least see her training with poisons (although I don't think my shownly friend realized that was what was going on because it's one unexplained, no dialogue scene. The list is as inconsistent as ever. The waif seems strangely focused on the Hound (I wonder why? *sarcasm*). She gets hit for saying Jon Snow is her brother, a man she has always thought of as her brother rather than half brother (in other words, not lying when she says this). And then all of a sudden, she succeeds in being no one with the poison healing her? Or am I just supposed to take that as Jaqen lying to her? Vaes Dothrak - 1/10 Vaes Dothrak has experienced severe desertification since season 1. Where there used to be gardens in the market area, there is now desert. Where the Dhos Khaleen were respected spiritual leaders who were obeyed within Vaes Dothrak, they now must wait on all the men to get together to decide Dany's fate. Where the Dothraki would literally kill each other if they met in the field, they now get together in conference to decide who gets to rape and pillage what. At least Dany is learning so much humility from her time as a prisoner. Look at how many fewer (see Stannis, I can use it properly) titles she is spouting now! Winterfell - 0/10 This isn't even worth a damn one. Umbers have been loyal to the Starks this whole time, but rather than raise the other loyal Northern houses to install Rickon as King/Lord of the North, who they could influence since they have effectively raised him, they just keep him safe for a few years, suppress any rumors of a direwolf there, and now join with the Bolton's because Wildlings are bad, mmkay. Despite the fact that they've been living with a wildling for years. Despite the fact that the Wildlings are settled in the Gift, and we have no knowledge of them encroaching on Bolton lands. Undisciplined fighters, women, and children, mind you, who at best number at a couple hundred based on the shot where Thorne lets them in. Umber must have a garrison of like 20 people. Sansa rape joke from Ramsey, pedophile joke from SwearJon Umber, who is totally fine with Kinslaying. The complete shitting on Ned: No "the North Remembers", No "the North will never forget," no actual actions showing "know King but the King in the North, whose name is Stark," no signs of "Ned's little girl." And for a show with the biggest budget on TV, how the hell does that pathetic excuse of a prop ever end up on set? The past - 0/10 Holy hell. Holy holy hell. I've been dreading this. I thought based on spoilers that surely these events can't be true. The dual wielding is silly, but that doesn't ruin this scene for me. The smug Ned doesn't fit, but I can understand that being hindsight influencing Ned's memory as shown in the dream. To me, aside from the characters involved, the ToJ must have one basic exchange of dialogue to be the ToJ scene. It doesn't have to be the same series as the books, or even contain the same words, or the same events. But the scene must establish that 1) the Kingsguard are not protecting the Targaryen family by being at this tower, and 2) an utter commitment to their Kingsguard vows, complete with the affirmation that they hold themselves to be upholding these vows. Where is my sister doesn't bother me. I wish you luck in the wars to come doesn't bother me. Ned's smug attitude instead of the sad one doesn't even bother me, since they're showing this as reality (I think divorcing this from Ned in season 1 is a huge mistake). But they completely and utterly fail to capture the essence of that scene. Without that, the scene has no purpose besides an action sequence involving one of the biggest badassess in the story.
  25. So, adaptation is a -427 rating. So, without further ado, let's get to rating. Remember, I'm applying a 5 as average, with nothing remarkably good, or nothing remarkably bad (or offsetting each way). Dorne: 10/10. Nothing to see here (thank God). Legendary grade. Sansa & Company 5/10: Well, apparently the Hound, one of the most identifiable people in Westeros, who was identified by Pod, is now just "a man." Either that or Brienne is intentionally holding this back from Sansa. Theon wants to go to a place where no one cares about him for some reason. And of course, we continue the Sansa victim blaming (which IMO, isn't that big a deal, because it's hard to come up with a situation that would actually be more rationale to victim blame someone in). The emotion between Sansa and Theon is nice, but overall just kind of meh. Kings Landing 4/10: Well, we have Tommen acting much younger than his new age. We get a guilt trip from uncle-dad, some shots of Ungregor being creepy as f***, and a so-so tension moment between Lannnister guardsmen and Ungregor. Nothing really significant either way yet. The reduction here for me is the Jaime/Sparrow scene. So High Sparrow is fine to arrest Margery for perjury, but won't attempt to arrest Jaime for kinslaying? Okay. Tyrion 3/10: Zero to no-cock joke in half a second flat. That's some impressive speed there Tyrion. Normally I have to wait at least 30 seconds for a no-cock joke. I'm amazed that Tyrion knows more about Dragons than people that have spent the better part of 4 seasons with them. He really is Tyrion Christ, come to drink away our sins. The dragons sure are trusting of this person they've never seen before, with no one to give them possible context on if he's on their side or not (since they're possibly smarter than humans). And for not eating, and not growing for being locked up, they're HUGE. The growing collars are also pretty impressive. Bran 5/10: Points for finally showing something with Lyanna. The Ned/Benjen interaction was nice, as well as the little tie-in to Jon and Checkov's plot device, since it implies Ned may have personally taught his children to fight (or at least reinforces the connection). And then we have Hodor, I mean Walder, I mean Willas. Apparently, seeing him is so great, Bran doesn't care about seeing his aunt or father anymore. Understandable he might only mention this to Hodor, but to mopy Meera too? And WTF happened to Leaf? I'd have so much less of a problem if they just started with Leaf looking something like that back in season 4. This is so much more than just a recast. It's the same as the reimagining of the wights that took place between 2/3 and 4. Basically, I'm not taking the Melisandre onion theory, and saying the bad and good wash out. Average. The glorious, perfect, totally not a bastard, only doing what is necessary Ramsey Bolton. 2/10. We do have the magically appearing Karstark. Purely from an adaptational standpoint, there is the continued grip of Ramsey being the main villain of the North, but that's not part of this ranking. Mr. Karstark wants "new blood" in the North, so he's fine with Ramsey being married to Sansa? Well, she's basically just a babymaker at this point if they get her back, so it's not like she'd have any real power. No reaction to Kinslaying? Dafuq? At least this kinslaying isn't way out of left field (although I suspect it's reversed in the books). The Walda/baby Bolton just felt drawn out, with no tension. The second Bolton gets stabbed, everyone knows what's going to happen to those two. And with the director giving an interviewing saying Ramsey doesn't want to do it, but does it because it is necessary, f*** it. If the Umbers have been on their side this entire time, I'm really curious why they've been holding their "gift" back for so long. Finally, the wall. I'm going 4/10 solely because of Carice's acting. I don't mind the surprising lack of blood when the Wildlings finally come (although I can't believe Thorne is still alive, and Olly was only disarmed when charging Tormund instead of killed). What I do mind is Davos, the guy who has hated Mel for her sorcery, is now asking her to do it to a man he barely knew, even though we have no reason to think he has heard of the red priests having this power (reinforced by the idea that he doesn't know of the specific rite)? Getting to the specific ritual, which involves no sacrifice? Seemingly no cost (we'll see if Jon comes back fundamentally changed, with a piece of his self dying as described by show Beric, but I doubt it)? Not to mention the completely underwhelming aspect of it. Wash some blood off, cut some hair, and suddenly a life is brought back? I just felt nothing the whole scene. Hard to give it anything beyond a below average, especially considering this is the revival of one of the show's main 3 "heroes." So overall, I go 4. A few average scenes, a few below average scenes, and a couple bad ones, and I just for the life of me can't get excited about this. (Realizing I forgot Arya and Ironborn now. Just another 4-5. Nothing particularly bad (ignoring adaptation), but nothing particularly good either).
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