Madame deVenoge

At 2:30 pm today, just when I was telling myself not to think of him, who calls me but….the Doctor. He was on my side of town he said, and had stuff to drop off. Including my Super Scrabble game. He also gave me back my bottle of lube as well as a t-shirt that was his that he had given to me. He came over, and it was good to see him, because honestly he looks terrible, even though my heart hurt; oh my heart was in a million little pieces. He stayed and said hello to the cats. I asked him for a hug, and got a quick hug from him. He told me that I’m looking good. And then he drove off in his Maserati, which is once again acting up. Cue Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”.

I think you are absolutely doing the right things. Do not listen to women on Discord who are saying “oh, yeah, dating apps are great!” You need to do what’s right for YOU. I’m on Match, and have a date for Thursday 4/11, zero expectations. Law Professor. He’s got three kids, which is not usually my thing. All that the apps give you is an ability to meet people whom you wouldn’t otherwise meet. Meeting someone by chance in person is a far better route to judge chemistry and attraction, etc.

UPDATE - I sent Mr MBA a break up email tonight. It was the right thing to do. i had a great first date with Lawyer, and am also meeting Law Professor next week, and need to text Finance Guy back.

Of all the things…DTF isn’t him. I’ve even…asked if he was busy one evening (he texted back; he was). I’ve asked if he wants to go to dinner, asked if he wants to come over and have a glass of wine. Ahem. Both to no response. All of these at different times after the breakup. So, my guess is that he’s happy with Rosy Palm. He has very low libido. ALL THAT SAID….A Horse Named Stranger is 100% correct. “The most self obsessed guy” just wants to….talk about himself, for 15 minutes. That and “things ended for a good reason”. One of the men to whom I was talking on Match (Quiet Guy) just went radio silent, but he’s always, always very oddly showing as having been active within the last hour. So, possibly he’s not selective, has an addiction to Match / a total player, or is a scammer. He was the one who couldn’t seem to carry on a conversation. Then we have Lawyer. He seems nice. He was the one whom I thought had originally flaked out. We talked on the phone today - always a good verification step for both parties, although I don’t require it. His cell phone showed up with his last name, which was handy. I googled him, and he is indeed a lawyer practicing the kind of law he was describing to me. His partner picture on the firm site looked just like his Match pics, and his graduation date from law school sounds right for his age (so unlike Other People, as detailed below in my ETA, he’s not a liar). He was picking up his daughter from school, so he couldn’t talk long, but we’ve made plans tentatively for Sunday. I had a realization about what was kind of the final straw for me with Mr. MBA - he mansplained something to me, something that is part of my job, but also made it a little bit about a threat to my job. Maybe because English is his third language, it didn’t come out right? Also, we had gone to a shitty restaurant. It’s not like I’m such a snob, but if a restaurant is right next to your house, you should have an idea of the quality of the food? So, basically don’t make a veiled threat to my employment over shitty pasta, while mansplaining insider trading? ETA - a funny…..I ran into the Doctor’s brother on Match. I had to click on it to make sure it was him, and it 100% was…and he lied about his age, just like his brother. I know for a fact that Little Brother is no younger than 48; he is my age - yet his profile says 42. And he baldly lies about 6 feet in height - he’s no taller than me at 5’7”.

@drawkcabi @Toth - omg! Both of you guys are doing so well!!! I’m very happy for both of you!! Positive developments, for sure!!

I’m a member of her Patreon, and it seems to me like she’s doing well. I hope that Endlords’ eventual publication will spark interest in her back catalogue and spur more sales of her previous books.

But….what does this mean? Does he regret breaking up with me? Can’t find a new girlfriend? Randomly calling to be nice? Or because he’s bored?

Well, I’ve been on JDate (hey, I’m willing to convert), Match, OK Cupid, E-Harmony, and Plenty of Fish. JDate was more recent (ahem, still willing to convert), Match got me The Doctor and I’ve never lacked for a date on Match. OK Cupid got me four years of W :/ E-Harmony got me an amazing personality test for $500 :/ And I was on PoF for all of 24 hours and was practically hiding under my desk because of the bombardment of messages. Oh, and I got 1,653 “likes” on Tinder when I was on it when I was 45, which is not bad for four weeks on Tinder for a 45 year old woman. ALL THAT SAID….The Doctor called me again. Calling me “baby” but not in a “hey, baby” way, it was far more genuine and authentic. Like, “oh, baby, I’m so happy for you winning the memo on derivatives!” He went to the wine auction by himself this year, or date-less, rather. He’s going back international traveling with his best guy friend. MEN - tell me. Tell me your thoughts.

DO NOT F——— THIS ONE UP!!! There, lol. I put my foot in the door of Match again. There are a lot of guys out there who think pretty highly of themselves. I’ll say that. I’m talking to two guys….one has not answered back / might have flaked out and the other one is having difficulty keeping a conversation going. But, we shall see.

@Toth - look at you coming such a long way! You’re starting to flirt!! I spent a good bit of the day yesterday crying in bed because it was the first anniversary of when we (The Doctor) first met, along with the second year of a wine festival that we went to. This was not just any wine festival - tickets start at $4k. But you know what? After this tax thing is finally paid, along with one more other debt, that will free up a lot of cash, and I’ll be able to do that again, if I want to.

That kind of blows cortical stacks out of the water, all apologies to Richard Morgan, a Favorite Author.

I can’t believe I killed the thread. Sorry.

As far as taking the risk and replying… Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t let a cyberstalker control my life. Because that’s what they’re about, right? Control. Sooooo….Mr Valuation Guy is still texting. I’m going to need to obtain more information on his intentions, because I am a young lady of firm beliefs in these matters. Mr VP Sales and I were going to have a drink tonight, but he pleaded headache. I have known him for at least 10+ years, so I am inclined to believe it - yes, he does have a headache, and also, despite how cultured, sophisticated, and amazing he might be, it could be that his health issues might be a barrier to anything more than friendship. I am not, at the current time, willing to wade back into the morass of Online Dating. I may run off to Morocco with Mr Retired KPMG Partner from NYC (they make them retire at age 60) if I get truly bored. He is….closer in age to me than Mr MBA. If that gives any perspective on me vis-a-vis my dating pool. Then again, I might be having jaw surgery #2 in a bit, here, because my TMJ is so bad that I can’t open my mouth more than 15 millimeters. I have an MRI tomorrow, that shall tell us more. Won’t be able to fly for a bit after surgery, certainly not long distance. I still have not broken it off with Mr MBA, but I somewhat feel like I should give him the benefit of the doubt for a bit? Maybe?

Ok - @Toth - I’m not understanding “bile curiosity”? And I’m hoping my Cyberstalker has better things to think about. To keep y’all updated, Mr MBA is….too young. I’m going to have to break it off. We have two others in play, but long-game play, so I’m just kind of trying to not be depressed and also concentrating on still paying off my past mistakes (literally: the Options Whipsaw That Is Not Dead and the Tax Consequences Thereof still has $8k left to go on my Amex, which is better than the original $25k).

Literally coming back here to say a few things: 1. No one is impressed with what or how you drive, unless you maybe have a Maserati, Ferrari, or a Lamborghini. 1.a. The Doctor did have a Maserati, and drove it within the speed limit on mountain roads, and perhaps he was unimpressed by me saying “pull over, I have to puke” but that’s what can happen, o you “professional drivers”. 1.b. Does anyone remember the disastrous assertion of someone here (who since died of unrelated causes) who stated that he was a better driver while drunk vs sober? Let’s not go there. Thank you. 2. You aren’t a goddamn professional driver. To @BigFatCoward’s point, you are a smear in the road, waiting to happen. Sorry. Unless, of course, you literally are a “professional driver on a closed course”. In which case, you wouldn’t be bragging; you’d be sitting there going “smdh” at half of you. 3. Anyone doubling down looks like a f—/cking idiot, and also, @Mr. Chatywin et al.lets get some “read the room” here - no one is impressed by your teenage antics, here or anywhere - and you clearly have no sense of insight given the fact that you seemed upset after R told you about her history, whereas you feel that if you have a history that others might find shocking, you think that a young lady might not have second thoughts? And also, don’t you think that you might be aware of the societal double standard which young ladies find repellant insofar as that you “get to brag” while we “have to hide” any past experiences? For reference: see your reaction to R. More dating, less bragging. For God’s sake, start a driving thread if you want to discuss d1ck…er, cars. Thank you. Back to your regularly scheduled conversations.