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Dating 8: I'm drinking a glass of Act Right


Lily Valley

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He was IRATE. He accused me of being wishy washy and I calmly tried to explain that I simply decided that this is what I want right now. I asked him if he thought that I didn't deserve to go after what I wanted? He said that people could want things but not get them. lol He started talking over me and I said, "If you're not going to listen, I really don't want to have this conversation" and he hung up on me.

And this is a state that we should seek to attain? Wanting stuff we can't get? Instead of moving on, toward what we know we want? That's some incredible wisdom right there.

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Thus far my attempts to convert the cute death metal chick to heterosexuality, or at least mypenissexuality, have amounted to messaging her something totally generic and innocuous on facebook once. Which she answered two days later. In other words, everything is proceeding according to plan.


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Thus far my attempts to convert the cute death metal chick to heterosexuality, or at least mypenissexuality, have amounted to messaging her something totally generic and innocuous on facebook once. Which she answered two days later. In other words, everything is proceeding according to plan.

Phase One is complete!

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Tell her she and I can trade sexual preference, my Christmas wish is to like girls instead because I'd be better at that

Your board persona has always tripped my gay/bidar too, it confuses the hell out of me!

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A buddy asked me if he should stay with his girlfriend. I asked him what his rationale was and he said they don't see each other much due to being busy and that she ends up annoying him whenever they do see each other. I told him to simply consider his end goal with the relationship and whether that end goal was worth enduring any frustration he may have now. I told him to think it all over before he made a decision.

He said he appreciated this advice and said he would think about it all. He then said he was going to talk to her about it. I told him not to do it unless he was going to break up with her because I don't think it's necessary otherwise to have her wondering what's going to happen next. He accepted that and that was the end of that. It's been a few hours and I don't feel as sure telling him that now. How do you guys feel? Should I have told him different?

You did the right thing in that you AVOIDED saying "break up with her" or "don't break up with her" thus opening the door for him to blame you when he does what you say and it turns out "wrong". He has to work it out for himself and you've told him to do that, with the cautionary tale that "if you say 'I want to talk to you about this' it's going to sound to her like 'I want to break up' so only say that if that's what you want to do". You can't do it for him. You've handled this about as well as you reasonably can.

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Hello, all. As many of you already know, I am now single. Well, close to it - I'm separated and a divorce proceeding is in the works, sooooo...

Well, it's amazing how many men there are who want a cougar.

1. I've cut off a 22 year old personal trainer who clearly just wanted only one thing, and not on my schedule, but his, and requested semi-naked pics all the time. No time for that.

2. The very day my husband said he was filing for divorce, a young hottie whom I randomly met in an airport sent me a FB message that said, "I must be honest, I can't stop thinking about you." WELL, THEN. Let's go for some action, shall we? (Still haven't made it that far, he's a bit flaky).

3. I've got a 26 year old construction manager whom I am going out with next weekend. Just to see if he's interesting. Met on Whisper, an anonymous social networking app. Pictures are cute, seems stable. I'm not looking for anything serious, so we will see what he is looking for.

4. I made an open Friends with Benefits Arrangement with a 26 year old friend who was in a marathon training group with me a few years back.

So, things seem to be going fairly well :) I'm not going to die of boredom or sexual frustration, at least.

Oh Chataya, I'm so sorry. That said, you'll find the world is full of lusty, interesting young men that will fill up your dance card. I wish you the very best of luck.

A buddy asked me if he should stay with his girlfriend. I asked him what his rationale was and he said they don't see each other much due to being busy and that she ends up annoying him whenever they do see each other. I told him to simply consider his end goal with the relationship and whether that end goal was worth enduring any frustration he may have now. I told him to think it all over before he made a decision.

I think you did right. However, the annoying part is a cue to break up. Life is too short to hang out with people who get on your nerves.

Tell her she and I can trade sexual preference, my Christmas wish is to like girls instead because I'd be better at that

You say this now. Wait until you have to break up with a woman. :shudders:

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[snip] I mean, he'd sit there and text sexually explicit stuff and then say, "Hey wanna come over to watch a movie?" I mean, shit if you can't even act like you're trying to get to know me, then just be honest that all you want is sex instead of offending my intelligence as though these invites are for "dates". The dishonesty is worse than anything. At least give me the option of knowing what is up and whether I'm ok with it or not. There ARE women out there just looking for a hookup buddy. Just fine one of them. Keep it real, folks.

Agreed; The Game is bullshit. Lots of people want a relationship; lots of people want a casual hook-up. Just say what you mean and be real if you want to avoid a lot of stupid drama, people.

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Comic book guy has been dismissed. He flaked on plans we had Sunday night and later called me super high to yell at me for pointing out that was kinda rude (I didn't say this in a shitty way, I was happy not to miss the Walking Dead). So, I've told him to delete my number.

Bass player is home in two weeks, that should be excellent. He's been doing a suspiciously good job at doing everything right.

Got asked out by an ex's friend. He's super handsome but the ex and I had a very recent falling out so I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Comic book guy has been dismissed. He flaked on plans we had Sunday night and later called me super high to yell at me for pointing out that was kinda rude (I didn't say this in a shitty way, I was happy not to miss the Walking Dead). So, I've told him to delete my number.

Bass player is home in two weeks, that should be excellent. He's been doing a suspiciously good job at doing everything right.

Got asked out by an ex's friend. He's super handsome but the ex and I had a very recent falling out so I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I was rooting for comic book guy too. Oh well. Good luck with the bass player.
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It's nice to be asked to dinner or some sort of actual DATE thing, and then casually end up at my house or his to watch movies, etc., instead of the BS that guy I broke it off with was always trying to pull - just invite me over to the house late for obvious sex. I mean, he'd sit there and text sexually explicit stuff and then say, "Hey wanna come over to watch a movie?" I mean, shit if you can't even act like you're trying to get to know me, then just be honest that all you want is sex instead of offending my intelligence as though these invites are for "dates". The dishonesty is worse than anything. At least give me the option of knowing what is up and whether I'm ok with it or not. There ARE women out there just looking for a hookup buddy. Just fine one of them. Keep it real, folks.

To be fair, when you receive text messages, there's always the autocorrect factor. For example, my autocorrect ALWAYS changes "Do you wanna come over & have sweaty, animalistic, multi-orgasmic, fuck-til-we're-raw, no strings attached sex?" to "I'd really like to settle down and commit to you long-term". Stupid autocorrect...

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