Jump to content

Dating 8: I'm drinking a glass of Act Right


Lily Valley

Recommended Posts

So many cute boys come into work it's so horrible WHERE DO I EVEN MEET PEOPLE I go out all the time these days and NO ONE FLIRTS WITH ME EVER (except this one dude at work but i think it might be bordering sexual harassment now o_____o)))) . I mean, I don't know if maybe I'm just being dense and oblivious to it because guys always make comments about my hats but that's it, maye they want to strike up a conversation or something idk??? or maybe they really do just admire my fabulous taste in hats - Ladies (and gentlemen) HOW IS IT DONE. How does this dating game work i'm so ready BUT SO CONFUSED it's really annoying me i'm lonely & sexually frustrated about 90 % of the time these days

i also don't think i can flirt at all no one has ever even bought me a drink before omg. HOW DO I DO IT i like cute girls too but have a specific type and don't see that type around too much & might know how to flirt better with a girl anyway

Are you traditionally good looking? Do you make eye contact? Do you have a frown on alot? Those are main factors to consider.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've apparantly got Uma Thurman and Alyssa Milano, can't really complain :P.

As lovely as Natalie Pike is, that is excellent. Cannot argue witht that. What you get for being Milan!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I'd say there is definitely some flirting going on that you aren't realising is flirting. Maybe even some on this forum ;)

I know it's hard to do when you are self conscious about it, but the best flirting stems from relaxing and having fun. You've definitely got the sense of humour for it, so try relax and chat with people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you traditionally good looking? Do you make eye contact? Do you have a frown on alot? Those are main factors to consider.

Oh and don't listen to PAs advice, I doubt you'd want the guys that would get you (and you are good looking enough for that)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you traditionally good looking? Do you make eye contact? Do you have a frown on alot? Those are main factors to consider.

What is traditionally good looking? That doesn't make much sense to me

I don't frown a lot when I'm out, I'm usually dancing and having fun. I can be quite charming.

If I make eye contact, I instantly look away, but if I'm actually talking to someone I've gotten quite decent at maintaining it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah I'd say there is definitely some flirting going on that you aren't realising is flirting. Maybe even some on this forum ;)

I know it's hard to do when you are self conscious about it, but the best flirting stems from relaxing and having fun. You've definitely got the sense of humour for it, so try relax and chat with people.

I sometimes think I accidentally flirt with people when I get really animated by a conversation about something stupid like good hairstyles or ...wait for it...blade runner

But when I actually see a cute person and want to flirt, I don't know what to do, I don't get super flustered or anything anymore and i'm real good at conversation these days, IF SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY TALK TO ME.

I think i'm just a completely oblivious person lol, like the fact that someone could be attracted to me is completely alien to me because i spent all of school being bullied for looking weird

i now realize i had the most fabulous cheekbones ever when i was an 11-16 year old AND THEY WERE ALL JEALOUS :leaving:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lol "beta" as well. Cos "alpha" guys never EVER get irrationally mad if they don't like you pointing out some of their rude behaviour. :rolleyes:

Betas can easily pretend to be alpha. I used to do it. True alphas don't loose their cool, they just don't give a fuck.

(not implying that I'm an alpha. I used to play it, but now I consider myself out of the game)

What is traditionally good looking? That doesn't make much sense to me

I don't frown a lot when I'm out, I'm usually dancing and having fun. I can be quite charming.

If I make eye contact, I instantly look away, but if I'm actually talking to someone I've gotten quite decent at maintaining it.

Media-promoted good looking is the traditional good looking. So thin, not too tall, fashionable, makeup on. If you are in a western country it's ok to be slightly overweight, you will still get alot of attention.

As long as you don't specifically avoid eye contact you're ok. Many people specifically avoid it to make themselves look tougher, but it mainly prevents interaction. Same with frowns.

If you are ok on the 3 main factors, you may be simply too good looking, and guys just think you will auto reject them.

Aside from that... non-factor for me personally, but showing some skin generally helps encourage interaction, but this may not be the interaction you'd welcome.

Other IMOs - not general to every guy out there, but somewhat dealbreakers for me. If you are very close with a friend (of either gender), and constantly interacting with them, you would be low on my list to approach. Being with friends is fine, just don't cling to them personally, be your own person. If you don't drink and just don't seem like you're having fun at the venue, same thing. Or if you drink too much, or seem like you are having way too much fun, reverse kind of problem. So be a stable, normal looking person enjoying the night. That's assuming you want to attract my type of men - stable, somewhat indifferent until really interested and chill types.

I think for women it's a matter of figuring out what kind of guys you want to be approached by: high end sharp looking guys, average venue-specific joe shmoes, smoothtalk sluts/players, blunt approach "let's go fuck" types. There are subtypes - stable, crazy, novice, etc, to each of those types. Adjust your behavior appropriately to the types/subtypes you want.

Or just approach guys yourself. It's not a problem. I don't know a guy who wouldn't want to be approached by women or think any less of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well it's a good feeling to be on the Blue and Black side of the City at the moment :P, you must know how it feels that great feeling when you're ahead of your City rivals :P.

'City rivals' is generous these days! Out of town chancers is more like it!

But I'll not go on about football in the dating thread anymore :) Seems wrong when others are talking through more serious stuff.

(But thanks again for the kind words, DA, much appreciated)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

'City rivals' is generous these days! Out of town chancers is more like it!

But I'll not go on about football in the dating thread anymore :) Seems wrong when others are talking through more serious stuff.

(But thanks again for the kind words, DA, much appreciated)

Yes, you're right we had better not de rail the thread, and you're welcome :).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I appreciate your advice PA, but it still confuses me and I don't know if I even understand it.



It's not as though I'm desperate (lol despite my post I'm not ok) when i'm out, I'm out with friends from work because our retail job is shit and we like to have a weekly going out date, but I do sometimes find it annoying when I see someone I'm really attracted to and have no clue what to do about it, so do nothing instead.



I don't know about traditional good looks or anything but my outfits and make up and hair are all fabulous.



Edit:



I tried online dating but it made me nervous that people would hate me if they met me in real life before because that happened with my last boyfriend lol, but i think he was just an arsehole anyway, the only thing he seemed to like about me was the way i looked. he just didn't like ME. so i'm worried maybe my internet persona isn't like me? even though i find that baffling because it most certainly is exactly what i'm like in real life .


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it bad that the idea of prodding a pent up geek like that sounds a little bit sexually stimulating to me?

In my experience, a lot of sweet nerds harbor all this suppressed resentment and anger that can sneak up and get dumped over your head like you're Carrie at the prom, wondering why you're covered in pigs blood.

:rofl:

I am crying over here. Y'all just made my day.

So many cute boys come into work it's so horrible WHERE DO I EVEN MEET PEOPLE I go out all the time these days and NO ONE FLIRTS WITH ME EVER (except this one dude at work but i think it might be bordering sexual harassment now o_____o)))) . I mean, I don't know if maybe I'm just being dense and oblivious to it because guys always make comments about my hats but that's it, maye they want to strike up a conversation or something idk??? or maybe they really do just admire my fabulous taste in hats - Ladies (and gentlemen) HOW IS IT DONE. How does this dating game work i'm so ready BUT SO CONFUSED it's really annoying me i'm lonely & sexually frustrated about 90 % of the time these days

i also don't think i can flirt at all no one has ever even bought me a drink before omg. HOW DO I DO IT i like cute girls too but have a specific type and don't see that type around too much & might know how to flirt better with a girl anyway

:rofl:

I'm sorry Theda.

When I was younger I always had to do all the approaching. Now I just like to.

Please excuse me while I tell you that you are OBLIVIOUS TO FLIRTING. If someone comments on your wardrobe, it's probably a come-on. The running joke down here in the '90's between us gals used to be, "Hey, nice shoes. Wanna f***?" It was a reference to dealing with awkward young men on the make.

US FOOTBALL SPOILER:

Mr. Fling sent me a text supporting Seattle last night. Needless to say, the exchange that followed didn't go very well. At one point I called him a culturally misappropriating a-hole. Karradin, was that rude?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...