The ASOIAF Darwin Awards

[Shadrich]

Arys Oakheart, Aerion Brightflame and Viserys are up there.

[The Great and Mighty Poo]

My name is Jon Snow. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Inigo Montoya reference

You are now my favorite person on this forum¡!!¡

[Ours if the Fury]

Balon Greyjoy… fell of a bridge … i mean come on!

[MordsGoldTeeth]

Arys Oakheart.

"Oh, I'll just single handedly charge at a boat full of crossbow wielding dornishmen armed with nothing but a sword and shield to achieve... oh, erm, nothing. It would achieve nothing. Oops"

Arys was doing what his kingsgaurd oaths demanded he do, defend the king's family or die in the attempt. Blame that on the Westerosi customs, but not on Arys himself

[Iona]

Arys was doing what his kingsgaurd oaths demanded he do, defend the king's family or die in the attempt. Blame that on the Westerosi customs, but not on Arys himself

I always got the feeling that he knew they were f-ed and he had lost his honor, so to me it wasn't a stupid thing or foolish bravery, just suicide-by-Hotah. :(

[Jasta11]

Gold: Aemon Brightflame. I don't think anything beats the suicidal insanity of drinking fantasy Greek fire.

Silver: Break the biggest taboo in Dothraki society and threatren the life of the wife and unborn child of the most powerful Khal of them all, in front of hundreds of witnesses. Even if Drogo somehow didn't kill him on the spot, there was absolutely no way he was going to survive the night.

Bronze: Quentyn, oh Quentyn. You have Targaryen ancentry somewhere in your bloodline, so obviously a friggin dragon, which you knew was half feral, would become a docile kitten in your august presence? Suuuuure.

Honorable mentions: Janos Slynt, for thinking Jon wouldn't chop his head off at the first sign of disobedience because he has ''friends'' in King's Landing. Tywin Lannister, for repeatedly insulting someone who holds him at crossbow-point. Daenerys Targaryen, for doing something very similar to her illustrious ancestor but surviving because magic.

[Red Raven]

I'm tempted to exclude the Freys on the grounds that they're not all dead yet,even though we all know they will be soon.Either Stannis will chop all their heads off,or Arya and her wolfpack will eat them all.

Consider the Freys as possible outsiders in the Group Section.

Good point. I'll move them off if/until they're all dead. In the meantime they're on the watch list.

Quentyn "Dragonbait" Martell and Lommy "Carry Me" Greenhands for obvious reasons.

Kraznys mo Nakloz for insulting someone - who has a dragon and a new elite army - in another language not knowing she can understand every word. Dracarys indeed.

[Pod The Impaler]

Viserys beats Aerion, and here's why:

Aerion at least had a theory behind what he was doing. It didn't pan out, and was really dodgy when it came to the scientific method, but at least there was genuine madness to his method.

Viserys, who was by most accounts prissy and annoying, decided to insult and threaten the pregnant wife of a guy who a huge khalasar because of his sheer ability to kill people.

At least Aerion only believed that fire could not hurt him. Viserys seemed to think nothing could hurt him - and then gave an elite gang of bloodthirsty "savages" an invitation to try.

Anyways, I would also like to support Lommy Greenhands the "Even a child should know better" category of Darwin Award.

[SeanF]

I'd add Ser Waymar Royce to those mentioned above. His determination to ignore the advice of experienced Rangers surely earns him an award.

Grazdan and Kraznys merit an award. They thought they'd made the deal of the century. It turned out there was just one catch.....

Lord Rickard Karstark told Robb in effect "Bring it on if you think you're hard enough.". He lost his head.

Rhaegar Frey slagged off Robb Stark in front of a room of Robb's supporters. Frey pie, anyone?

[Ibbison from Ibben]

IRL, a Darwin Award can't be given to someone who gets other people "removed" also. It's strictly personal. If we choose to overlook that little stipulation, I think the brilliant naval commander Imry Florent deserves a nomination for his incredible ability to ignore anything that doesn't fit into his plans at the Blackwater.

[mediterraneo]

Maester Cressen, why on earth would you drink from a cup that you poisoned yourself??

Because you are a hero of your culture, you want to prevent your lord to fall into heresy and warcrimes, and you are really really loving your community and the people in it more than you appreciate your own life of privilege.

That's willful sacrifice.

My award goes to Viserys. "You can keep the baby". Really?

[Sullen]

Bronze: Quentyn, oh Quentyn. You have Targaryen ancentry somewhere in your bloodline, so obviously a friggin dragon, which you knew was half feral, would become a docile kitten in your august presence? Suuuuure.

Well, from what we learn in The Princess and the Queen, his idea of how to tame a dragon weren't that far off.

I say Aerion Brightflame wins this by a mile.

[redriver]

IRL, a Darwin Award can't be given to someone who gets other people "removed" also. It's strictly personal. If we choose to overlook that little stipulation, I think the brilliant naval commander Imry Florent deserves a nomination for his incredible ability to ignore anything that doesn't fit into his plans at the Blackwater.

Ah,Imry Florent.How could we forget about him?He may indeed make the shortlist but a brief resume of his pre-mortem exploits may be indicated here for those careless readers who've forgotten who he is.Not me though,definately not me.... :blushing:

[Howlin' Howland]

For individuals:

The Dayne who was ripped to pieces after attacking a giant at the end of ADWD

Lysa Tully for having absolute faith in a sociopath for her whole life

and Oberyn Martell for taunting Gregor instead of killing him

For groups:

The slaver's in Astapor for giving a savage control of an army inside of their walls.

[Ser Arys Redshirt]

What the Darwin Awards page would call an 'at-risk survivor':

Margeary Tyrell. She keeps throwing her vag at people who have absolutely no idea what to do with it, and have a tendency to die horribly. Not much likelihood of her transmitting genetic material, but still a chance.

[KJR the PR of TaFW]

The Dayne who was ripped to pieces after attacking a giant at the end of ADWD

it was ser patrick of kingsmountain to you sir;)

[A Bong of Ice and Fire]

Arys Oakheart, Aerion Brightflame and Viserys are up there.

Arys Oakheart, it seems to me, was deliberately committing suicide because of his stained honor (and Arriane's stained smallclothes). So I wouldn't call him a Darwin Award winner for charging into a giant axe. Maybe for ****ing Arriane, though.

[Arya kiddin']

Falyse. She lowers the IQ of the whole street when she speaks. good riddance I'd say.

[Inevittable]

I want to nominate people who aren't dead yet. :frown5:

Give it time! ;)

I've been trying to think of something to add to the list, but I think all the best ones have been covered. Although, these books have made me so suspicious that I find myself taking every stupid death that wasn't witnessed by a POV character with a very large pinch of salt. Doesn't mean I can't find them entertaining though!

[redriver]

Arys Oakheart, it seems to me, was deliberately committing suicide because of his stained honor (and Arriane's stained smallclothes). So I wouldn't call him a Darwin Award winner for charging into a giant axe. Maybe for ****ing Arriane, though.

Arys makes the list,though he needs more discussion.I think he was a sensible and daring knight who lost control of his wits due to large nipple exposure.

Give it time! ;)

I've been trying to think of something to add to the list, but I think all the best ones have been covered. Although, these books have made me so suspicious that I find myself taking every stupid death that wasn't witnessed by a POV character with a very large pinch of salt. Doesn't mean I can't find them entertaining though!

There's loads more.VH-there's a clue...