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Bakker XXVI: Atrocious predictions, piled


Borque

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Since we have apparently run out of ways to argue over the plausibility of hiding a heart up your rectum...

I was listening to Mel Kiper talk NFL draft today and all the permutations and shifts the 32 teams could make and somehow got to thinking about Kellhus. So here's my crazy off the wall question... How would a Dunyain fare as a talking head draft prognosticator? Could the Probability Trance account for things like the Raiders taking a second round prospect with a top ten pick? Would the Thousandfold Thought know that Aaron Rodgers would slip even though he's the superior talent in the draft?

I know... This is a scary glimpse into how my brain works. Just a line of thinking about Dunyain in our modern world.

:leaving:

I have no idea what any of this means, but it got me thinking... If the Inchoroi have two mouths, or if they can attach a second one, can they do a cant that has two utterals and one inutteral? Or two utterals and two inutterals?

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Do the Inchoroi have two mouths? I remember reading about Soma the skin-spy making noises with his "second mouth," but not Aurang or Aurax.

They have a face inside a jaw IIRC, but probably not two mouths that they can talk with. They can still attach one build a second one though.

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pfft, this thread was amazeballs until it veered back on track. More Kellhus+Draft talk please.

If it means avoiding the hundredth iteration of a certain crackpot theory I'll put up with anything-even American sports.

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Bill Simmons IS the dunyain of sports talking heads! Who else can pull off the sports/pop-culture mind tricks like Bill? And Jalen ALWAYS has his bat. Kellhus would meet his match.

Simmons is overrated, though I am a huge Grantland fan. He was in the right place at the right time and had a great vision, but he's just a regular guy with a pretty myopic view, certainly no Kellhus.

The greatest thing that Kellhus would bring to a draft war room would not be reacting to other team's picks or structuring the overall strategy going into that day (though he'd excel at those things).

The thing he would do is he would use his Dunyain training to look into the faces, hearts, and souls of draft prospects to see what comes before. He would know that JaMarcus Russell was a colossal bust long before he turned on a game film. He would gaze into Andrew Luck's heart and know that was possessed of a faith that would see him survive the Ordeal ahead.

So much this. He would have seen Odin's Oden's weak joints against Durant's ability to meet all expectations, Vick's easy one good season with the Eagles, etc. etc. etc.... the amazing sports happenings would be nothing more than easy assumptions for a Dunyain.

They make us LOVE!!!!

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Actually what Kellhus would do is turn the draft to his needs. The easiest thing to change and predict isn't the players. It's the drafters.

He'd convince others that they had to trade up with him to get some useless crap. He'd draft players just to have others trade to him all their next years draft picks. He'd make everyone else's decisions for them. Hell, he'd get draft picks for his coaches.

So basically belichick but with a better ability to evaluate talent.

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Kellhus the GM would also be wary of Richard Sherman breaker of Broncos and Crabtrees; most violent of all DBs.

(Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that every Int gets a swazond.)

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Larry, I guess that's just your opinion. His stuff has gotten a little dopier SINCE he started grantland. I agree. But, I guess I started his columns around 2005 and I loved his Book of Basketball. But, his columns have fallen off lately and I don't much care for TV Bill.

Eta: if you've never read his BoB, he comes up with a waaaay better idea for the Hall of fame (The Pyramid) and comes up with the idea of putting an all-time team vs aliens. To save the world, who would you pick? This isn't a mediocre sports journalist, the eats and breaths basketball and you'll get that from the book.

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I don't even want to say lest it comes back. It has something to do with the Circumfix and a certain heart...

Ah, you're talking about the 'transcendence' theory... You're right, that shouldn't come back.

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Ah, you're talking about the 'transcendence' theory... You're right, that shouldn't come back.

agreed. Makes no sense that this theory would be correct but Kel would leave it off his list of miracles in TTT.
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