The Wolf Maid Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 If only Violet had had some moral celery, this whole business could have been avoided. Moral celery? No offense, Iceman, but if there was such a thing, it wouldn't ever be part of my diet. Is it something objectivists eat so they become lean mean obectivist machines? Oh and Queens don't resign - they abdicate, or is Tairy once again rewriting the dictionary? Probably. Or him misusing the word again. maybe he saw it in his theasaurus and decided there wasn't much of a difference between abdictate and resign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadok Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 "A queen with real power. Queen Six. Got it?" Goodkind is truly a master of dialogue. Got it? The way he mixes in "old time fantasy" speech with modern speech makes it all the more ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Iceman of the North Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 You're doomed, Wolf Maid! Doomed I say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Moral celery? No offense, Iceman, but if there was such a thing, it wouldn't ever be part of my diet. No no no, WM, the fiber of the moral celery is a time honored tradition of Chat (like 20 minutes ago time honored). It knows it's place amongst the vegetabels of the world and it can do algebra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 QOTD :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: Tairy, Tairy, Tairy - do you know what a pike is? A pike is usually about 18 feet long... not something you can easily carry around indoors.... :smash: eejit. (unless he ment the fish, at which point i have to ask why the guards were armed with fish... :cry: ) C'mon, that could have been great. "The soldiers charged Richard, armed only with their hatred of moral clarity (celery?) and swinging a big fish." It's a natural. I humbly disagree, Moose. People MUST pick these books up. Look at them. See them for what they are after reading the dust jacket. NOT purchase them. Put them back on the shelf. And then complain very very loudly to the store manager that such filth would be so prominently displayed! Won't someone think of the children? Where is the moral clarity! Outrage! Outrage! I don't know...I think Justin came out okay with a smidgen of talent... RE: QotD: How old is Viole(n)t now? Because I don't think she's aged a day past her eight, or whatever she was, years in that scene! Okay, picking up the books for the purpose of destroying them is one thing, I only worry that people will pick them up and read them when their time could be better spent smoking crack. It never specifies how old she is, but Rachel figures she's in her mid teens. She just acts exactly the same as she did when she was 8. Goodkind is truly a master of dialogue. Got it? The way he mixes in "old time fantasy" speech with modern speech makes it all the more ridiculous. It could have been worse: "And now it has come to pass that I, Six, shall rule as queen. Get thou down upon thy knees before me! Got it bitch? Don't make me smack you upside the head!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 You're doomed, Wolf Maid! Doomed I say! ...I could try it.... Wait, celery isn't sold where I live. I really am doomed. No no no, WM, the fiber of the moral celery is a time honored tradition of Chat (like 20 minutes ago time honored). It knows it's place amongst the vegetabels of the world and it can do algebra. So are you saying its the celery that's not a celery? And it can do algebra? Wow. I'm ashamed of myself. I was betaen by a vegetable. I suck at algebra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Goodkind is truly a master of dialogue. Got it? The way he mixes in "old time fantasy" speech with modern speech makes it all the more ridiculous. How about Violet calling Six a "boneheaded moron" and a "stupid, stupid, worthless, no-good dimwitted jackass" - bet she didn't learn that language in Princess School. Good job TG (BBNC) doesn't write fantasy, cos that'd look pretty out of place in a fantasy novel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agulla Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 They must have curious laws in this kingdom regarding royal succession and inheritance. I suppose that the idea is that a woman becomes the ruling queen by slapping and punching the former queen, right? Imagine two peasants: Peasant 1: so who is the queen now? Peasant 2: Six, Queen Six, she beat the crap out of Violet. Peasant 1: She did? Good. Never liked her. Her mother on the other hand; that one could slap and punch any upstart pretender. Peasant 2: Who cares anyway, we have the Imperial Order army to worry about. Yesterday they raped my wife with a broom. It was unpleasant. Peasant 1: Right you are. They took away my son and last time I saw him the boy was marching and killing and raping. He told me that he would kill one of these days. Peasant 2: Look on the bright side, it could be worse. Lord Rahl could be here. Peasant 1: That one was bad. I heard he is now a player in the Ja`La. Peasant 2: Does the emperor know it? Peasant 1: Nah, he is such a sucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Agulla, that was great. They must have curious laws in this kingdom regarding royal succession and inheritance. I suppose that the idea is that a woman becomes the ruling queen by slapping and punching the former queen, right? Right to rule by bitchfight. Great concept. It's like high school cliques all over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad King Billy Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I'm getting very suspicious of US high school education. Agulla, you forgot Peasant 1: That one was bad. I heard he is now a player in the Ja`La. Peasant 2: Does the emperor know it? Peasant 1: Nah, he is such a sucker. Peasant 2: Has he won any games yet? Peasant 1: They had to cancel the tournament after he ripped the spines out of his team mates. Said they "weren't working like individuals", or something. Peasant 2: What? I've never heard of something as stupid as that... Peasant 1: Oh, look! There's some lovely filth down there! (bonus if ya' catch the reference...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I'm getting very suspicious of US high school environments... ...Wonder what clique Terry was part of when he was in high school... On second thought, maybe I don't want to know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelp Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 TG (BBHN), Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys together in one sentence along with the word "talent." If you do that three times, I believe Armageddon will commence. TG (BBHN), Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys together in one sentence along with the word "talent." If you do that three times, I believe Armageddon will commence. TG (BBHN), Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys together in one sentence along with the word "talent." If you do that three times, I believe Armageddon will commence. *braces self* KAH, a couple of things: - trying to cause Armageddon should not be attempted at home - if you attempt using the mantra above, you need to say it backwards (well-known occult principle, as all TRES-members know) As to the QotD, Terry displays a huge affinity for the variety and colloquialism of medieval (dare I say, fantasy) English... I wonder why Violet or Six didn't say 'Bags!'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perin Stone Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I was going to comment on the "Boneheaded moron" and "Got it?" but better people beat me to it. If Violet was 8 the last time we saw her how could she be a teanager now? Has 5-7 years really passed in this series? And would Richard really care if he was flogged? It may not be the most pleasent thing but he's been tortured worse and its not like his buddy Zedd couldn't use his additive magic to grow the skin back.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Yeah, true - he's already used his additive magic to grow Kahlan's hair back, and the subtractive magic to shave his beard off... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 And would Richard really care if he was flogged? It may not be the most pleasent thing but he's been tortured worse and its not like his buddy Zedd couldn't use his additive magic to grow the skin back.... He would have probably enjoyed it... Then he'd kick Violet in the jaw again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad King Billy Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Yeah, true - he's already used his additive magic to grow Kahlan's hair back, and the subtractive magic to shave his beard off... That reminds me. Has there been any use of magic apart from deus ex machina plot device or in battle? That is, excepting the above situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mormont Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 'Thousands' of troops, or is it 'tens of thousands', or 'hundreds of thousands'... Richard kills 'dozens' of men before being captured by 'hundreds' of archers... for someone called 'Six' she's a bit vague about numbers, isn't she? And there's those 'strings' of blood again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 That reminds me. Has there been any use of magic apart from deus ex machina plot device or in battle? That is, excepting the above situation? Not that much by the good guys. Zedd uses magic to hide Kahlan's identity in BotF, and he insists that Richard is using his gift every time he does anything from killing to sculpting. Which Richard always denies. Zedd: "Bags Richard, you used your gift to sculpt Kahlan's spirit." Richard: "No I didn't. I'm just a natural artist or something." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 'Thousands' of troops, or is it 'tens of thousands', or 'hundreds of thousands'... Richard kills 'dozens' of men before being captured by 'hundreds' of archers... for someone called 'Six' she's a bit vague about numbers, isn't she? You'll have to forgive the girl. She was too shocked with Richard's pwning of the Order's soldiers to be coherent. Or maybe the reason she's called Six is because she can't count past six, so she just exaggerates. Zedd: "Bags Richard, you used your gift to sculpt Kahlan's spirit." Richard: "No I didn't. I'm just a natural artist or something." For the love that is holy and sacred, MM, tell me your joking. Richard did not just say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agulla Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 This QotD is interesting because we can compare the methods of two political masterminds: Six and Cersei. 1. The reasons to stage a coup and take the crown: Cersei: Eddard Stark has discovered her little dirty secret and now her political power and even her life are at stake. The situation is bad for her and her house considering that her lord father has already started a war in the Riverlands. Six: Violet has a tantrum fit. 2. The mechanics of the plot: Cersei: she moves fast and secures a strong power base: the Goldcloaks, she already has more men than Eddard because lord Stark has send part of his already outnumbered guard to the Riverlands. He stages to showdown in the Throne Hall with Joff sitting in the throne something that gives her the moral advantage (she could have had the moral clarity or the moral celerity but she had other priorities and had to settle with this). Six: she moves fast and slaps and punches Violet. When two guards arrive she takes advantage of the fact that they carry pikes (a bow to Bran who saw the cleverness of her tactic), and cannot use them in the small room where they are, and scares them. 3. The Aftermath: Cersei: she kills her enemies and captures hostages in the confusion that follows and then places his men in the Small Councill. Then she makes sure to make lord Stark look like a traitor, forces him to admit his treason threatening him to kill Sansa (maybe this part of the plan was not hers but anyway, Cersei followed a good advice here). Six: bullies Violet some more, it makes her feel better forcing the girl to call her "queen". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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