Four-Eyed Raven Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 The Engineer is an unpredictable texter, and I do a lot of the initiating. Bums me out. Though yesterday we established that we still like each other and find the other attractive, so that's something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 The Engineer is an unpredictable texter, and I do a lot of the initiating. Bums me out. Though yesterday we established that we still like each other and find the other attractive, so that's something.He probably doesn't want to seem too eager. Liking each other and sharing a mutual attraction is more than something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Third date went very well :DCinema, then dinner, then onto a club where we had a drink and then spent an hour plus in a corner kissing. When we finally came up for air there was applause :/Derful. Wow. Just wow. I'm so pleased for you. This made my day. Y'heard all y'all? Hang in there!!I've been getting really cute emails from Gary this trip. He's out of the country so they come in the morning. Reminiscent of our early correspondence, really. He's out for another couple of weeks. I hope this keeps up. We had another weird patch before he left.Kay, best of luck. I have my fingers crossed for you. He seems marvelous and he looks like he's douing everything he can as quickly as possible to get back to you.Couldn't multiquote on the phone, but the character/POV post wins the thread. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-Eyed Raven Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 He probably doesn't want to seem too eager. Liking each other and sharing a mutual attraction is more than something. In my gut, I think so, too. At the same time, me having to initiate or keep the conversation going makes me second guess things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Y'ALL - I just had the best thought for my 40th birthday party...a reprise of my 20th (which was supposed to be my 21st, given that it was at a bar...but, I was 20) - the party was called "E's Dress to Get Laid Party". I wore my pink rubber dress. I think that it would SO WORK to do the same for 40, with black vinyl, and, like Madonna, I'm totally in better shape at 40 than 20. Except my skin is way better than hers. This is SOOO going to ROCK!!!! It's in January, but never to early to plan. How many men do I want to lead around by a leash and collar? And will a kind of vanilla dance club object to that, if I pay $1,000 for VIP?Chats, I turn 40 in January too. If you don't invite me I shall be offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 In my gut, I think so, too. At the same time, me having to initiate or keep the conversation going makes me second guess things.I'm usually that guy and I'll bet he is having a hard time trying not to be. You know how he feels, he knows how you feel. I think he'll snap out of it soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-Eyed Raven Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Man, I hope so! Gonna restrain myself from texting him tomorrow, so we'll see if he initiates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edda van Heefmstra Ruston Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Have you actually talked about this with him? He might not even understand that it's an issue, if it isn't one for him. Or, worse, he'll think that your sudden silence means you've changed your mind about something (him, or the long distance thing, etc.). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-Eyed Raven Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I haven't talked about this with him because we reconnected only a handful of days ago, and I don't want to seem pushy. He's 500 miles away, extremely busy working with 2 different organizations as part of his PhD program, and barely has time to relax himself. He isn't dating because he doesn't have room in his brain for it at the moment - his words, not mine. So knowing that leaves me treading lightly as well. Thank you guys for allowing me to talk about this! It's been on my mind and it's really nice to have outside "ears" for listening. So, thank you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 No advice, but I really hate always having to be the one to initiate contact too. It should be a 50/50 thing, not one person having to reach out every single time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Fury Posted August 3, 2014 Author Share Posted August 3, 2014 Go for it Chats!!Thanks for the encouragement, Lily! In a moment of very unFury sincerity, I will admit he is pretty great and on top of that also a magnificent specimen. Since I think only Ini has seen what he looks like, I would describe him as a werewolf version of young Morrissey. He's just too damn pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edda van Heefmstra Ruston Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I haven't talked about this with him because we reconnected only a handful of days ago, and I don't want to seem pushy. He's 500 miles away, extremely busy working with 2 different organizations as part of his PhD program, and barely has time to relax himself. He isn't dating because he doesn't have room in his brain for it at the moment - his words, not mine. So knowing that leaves me treading lightly as well. Thank you guys for allowing me to talk about this! It's been on my mind and it's really nice to have outside "ears" for listening. So, thank you. :) Oh, I'm not saying you're unreasonable to want him to initiate more. Just a reminder that not all of us reach out for communication in the same ways or at the same rate. Plus, if he's really that busy and you haven't even said 'hey, it makes me feel good when you text me first', I just don't think you should read all that much into what he might not do tomorrow. If he does, great, if not... it doesn't really mean that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 I haven't talked about this with him because we reconnected only a handful of days ago, and I don't want to seem pushy. He's 500 miles away, extremely busy working with 2 different organizations as part of his PhD program, and barely has time to relax himself. He isn't dating because he doesn't have room in his brain for it at the moment - his words, not mine. So knowing that leaves me treading lightly as well. Thank you guys for allowing me to talk about this! It's been on my mind and it's really nice to have outside "ears" for listening. So, thank you. :) Maybe you should deal with him not texting much then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Four-Eyed Raven Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Oh, I'm not saying you're unreasonable to want him to initiate more. Just a reminder that not all of us reach out for communication in the same ways or at the same rate. Plus, if he's really that busy and you haven't even said 'hey, it makes me feel good when you text me first', I just don't think you should read all that much into what he might not do tomorrow. If he does, great, if not... it doesn't really mean that much. I agree, I'll definitely do that/keep all that in mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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