Richard Writhen Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) 4 hours ago, peterbound said: First thing that caught my eye as well. Not a good sign when the descriptors are confusing right out the gate. Not sure 'well rounded' and 'petite' fall into the same category. Really tried getting through the few chapters you had posted, chief, but holy shit that's some horrible writing you've got going on there. You're trying too hard to be gimmicky with the language, the plot is on the back burner, and the fucking purple prose is making my goddam eyes bleed. I attempted to make sense of what was up on your website, but I still have no fucking clue what the story is about. I get you are trying to sound olde fashion-y, but it just comes off sounding silly. Focus on the story more, tighten up the text, and then focus on word choice/type. You're letting your gimmick run your mind. Not a good way to go. Seriously, and I'm not trying to be a dick here, but this stuff isn't good. I know that's hard to hear, and I'm sure you'll deflect, call my avatar stupid, and somehow attempt to invalidate my opinion, but it doesn't change the fact that the stuff you put out into the world is painful to read and the work of someone trying too hard, and not having a fucking clue of what they are doing. Oh, you don't sound like a dick at all. And if you have no clue what the story is about, that's fine. I could give all of a rat's ass about your opinion. Opinions are like a**holes, it seems everyone has one. You have demonstrated a total lack of good taste, that is all. Don't worry, I will never post free content in this thread again. Edited March 2, 2016 by Rychard Wrythen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 i really want to believe we are all being trolled at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 I'm holding back a lot of not nice words. that;s for sure. I eagerly look forward to his first goodreads meltdown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterOJ Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 19 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said: i really want to believe we are all being trolled at this point. I know. I realize PB was blunt in his assessment, but that's just PB. After reading through some of Rychard's story, I honestly can't disagree with any of the points PB was making. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 You know, if you don't want people reading your shit, maybe don't link to it in your sig? And if you don't want any one to say anything bad about it ever, I dunno, buy some 5 star reviews? Then go live in a cave on mars? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterbound Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Yeah, I'm starting to think this is some form of performance art. Also, what's wrong with being blunt? I've never understood the problem with that trait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Writhen Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) 48 minutes ago, Darth Richard II said: You know, if you don't want people reading your shit, maybe don't link to it in your sig? And if you don't want any one to say anything bad about it ever, I dunno, buy some 5 star reviews? Then go live in a cave on mars? Listen. Of course I want people to read it. That is the entire point of exposure. However, none of this has been constructive criticism. If you all have shit for taste, which you apparently do, of course my stuff is going to seem like just what you said, shit. And if anyone had actually looked at the link to the definition of self-promotion, they would have seen that the definition allows for things that are not bought and sold. Hell, people hand out flyers on the street and it's still promotion, even though the recipient pays nothing. PB's taste has been displayed on many a thread and believe me, his "blunt" assessment means less than nothing. Edited March 2, 2016 by Rychard Wrythen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 And what is your basis on saying we all have shit for taste, other than we don't like your "work"? Hey you can promote all you want, you just need to not have a tantrum when people don't like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Writhen Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 1 minute ago, Darth Richard II said: And what is your basis on saying we all have shit for taste, other than we don't like your "work"? Hey you can promote all you want, you just need to not have a tantrum when people don't like it. Maybe I don't like your choice of words in description of it, so I turned it around so that you could appreciate the effect yourself. And I have no problem with someone not liking it. However, loaded phrases like "no idea what you are doing" and "trying too hard" is more like insulting than critiquing. Nvm. Like I said, it doesn't matter. You can expect a lot more of my "work" in future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Yeah, and I have a Death Star to sell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgambino Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 This thread is better than the grimdark thread that got locked down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 6 minutes ago, mgambino said: This thread is better than the grimdark thread that got locked down. It's the greatest thread since the lies of lock lamora!...thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterOJ Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 22 minutes ago, Darth Richard II said: It's the greatest thread since the lies of lock lamora!...thread! Hell... what was that line in reference to? I remember the thread, and it was epic. Turned out to be a hoax though, right? I am sad that I can't remember the particulars of it now though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Rychard: No offence, mate, but one of the most important traits in an author is learning to accept criticism. Believe me, we all write terrible stuff, and people call us up on it - so we go back and improve. We don't improve by putting our fingers in our ears, and going "lalalala." There *is* constructive criticism here. Specifically, you need to improve your prose. No problem there - go through and cut unnecessary words. Let's take the first paragraph: At about that tyme, yet over on Wallins Street, somewhat to the north and west of the tailor’s shoppe, Lanuche gingerly walked back down the rotting steps of Thomryd’s cellar and then tottered over to its eastern end with the hideous, makeshift dress hanging loosely over her well-rounded frame. As she went, she lay her right hand lightly on the craggy, hewn stone wall to support her way; and because she was so very petite, the steps didn’t even so much as groan as she made her way carefully down them, almost as a felis would. Cut all the bold, and you have a much tighter, more readable result. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 4 minutes ago, MisterOJ said: Hell... what was that line in reference to? I remember the thread, and it was epic. Turned out to be a hoax though, right? I am sad that I can't remember the particulars of it now though. Someone was sock puppeting to self promote his book, which was the best thing he'd read since locke lamora. And we ran with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard II Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 Pfft Roose you're just a hater with bad taste and a silly icon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muwhahaha Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) 38 minutes ago, MisterOJ said: Hell... what was that line in reference to? I remember the thread, and it was epic. Turned out to be a hoax though, right? I am sad that I can't remember the particulars of it now though. That would be Mike Miller's Yeti.....Awesome new author.....fans of George R.R. Martin...on fire with hate.....yeah, that was my little doozy about a year or so ago. Sometimes you people are too easy. Edit: And just to clear up why I did that: I joined goodreads and started two lists. A week later, Mike Miller has his books listed, ranked #1, and nothing else even voted for. I looked into his profile and saw that he 5 starred all his own stuff and #1'd it on every list it was remotely associated with. He is what I hate about goodreads. And so I had a little fun at his expense. Edited March 2, 2016 by Muwhahaha clarification of shenanigans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Writhen Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said: Rychard: No offence, mate, but one of the most important traits in an author is learning to accept criticism. Believe me, we all write terrible stuff, and people call us up on it - so we go back and improve. We don't improve by putting our fingers in our ears, and going "lalalala." There *is* constructive criticism here. Specifically, you need to improve your prose. No problem there - go through and cut unnecessary words. Let's take the first paragraph: At about that tyme, yet over on Wallins Street, somewhat to the north and west of the tailor’s shoppe, Lanuche gingerly walked back down the rotting steps of Thomryd’s cellar and then tottered over to its eastern end with the hideous, makeshift dress hanging loosely over her well-rounded frame. As she went, she lay her right hand lightly on the craggy, hewn stone wall to support her way; and because she was so very petite, the steps didn’t even so much as groan as she made her way carefully down them, almost as a felis would. Cut all the bold, and you have a much tighter, more readable result. So essentially you feel I should castrate my prose making it devoid of all personality so that these people will like it. As I told Sporkydog or whatever his name is before, I can't do that. Thank you for something approaching constructive criticism though. I will try to write something mainstream soon, with nice short words in it so that anyone with a taste for mediocrity can appreciate it. How does "Tales of the Crimson Prince: An Empire of Hot Iron" sound? Edited March 2, 2016 by Rychard Wrythen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spockydog Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 2 hours ago, Rychard Wrythen said: Don't worry, I will never post free content in this thread again. Yippee! 1 hour ago, Rychard Wrythen said: You can expect a lot more of my "work" in future. Booooo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Writhen Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 1 minute ago, Spockydog said: Yippee! Booooo! Enjoy your jabs while you can still get them in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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