Jump to content
EruditeFool

Official Blatant but Honest Self Promotion Thread

Recommended Posts

8 minutes ago, baxus said:

Bear in mind, I'm not actually getting in on the debate regarding its quality since I haven't read your "stuff" and, given your attitude, I never will. Giving money to someone doing their best to act like an asshole would just go against my principles.

You can follow the link in his sig to see his stuff for free.  It's worth it.  It made me feel like William fucking Shakespeare.  His writing makes Robert Stanek look like Mark Twain.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Muwhahaha said:

You can follow the link in his sig to see his stuff for free.  It's worth it.  It made me feel like William fucking Shakespeare.  His writing makes Robert Stanek look like Mark Twain.  

Same here. I've bookmarked it. And the next time I get an attack of Imposter Syndrome, reading a few lines of this crap will be just the thing.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, MisterOJ said:

I'm not asking for something that requires much thought at all. I'd just like to know what are some books/authors you enjoy? 

Price, Lehane, Martin, Lovecraft, Lindqvist, some King, London, Richard Adams, Dickens ...

 

Oh, and enjoy. Maybe you "guys" can see how its done. :ack:

Edited by Rychard Wrythen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we should look at some more of your brilliance:

From A Host of Ills: Chapter Six - The Flesh Dragore

The conically emanating lacht from the upstairs hallway torch ended, and after a couple of secunds of intermediate darkness it was immediately replaced by that from the two torches in the first square stone chamber in the cellar below. It wouldn’t have mattered either way, to be true; this was because, also much like a felis, Lanuche found that she could see quite well in the dark with only the slightest modicum of difficulty.

 

When she had passed through the narrow entryway to the smith’s cellar forge, which was no more than a broken gap in the wall, she found him sitting in a sort of humayne heap on top of a closed black travel chest which was situated under the westmost cellar window and covered in dust.

 

She stopped about two teythes away, then began to address him. Her thin, blonde hair was sticking up in odd ways due to some latent static electricity on her person. “I don’t mean to intrude here, dath … I can see it’s your special place. It’s just … I’m a little bit confused by all of this … what’s been happening tonacht … “ She stopped then, trailing off into a whisper.

 

After several secunds had passed and he still hadn’t answered her at all, or even started moving for that matter, she walked over to him and held out her dainty right hand as if to touch him on his bulky left shoulder. Before she could reach him, however, he started anxiously; his eyes went wide, he jumped up like a jack-in-the-box, and he danced effortlessly right out of her grasp. Once he found himself clear, he began circling around her in jerky clockwise motions over towards the entryway, pointing ineffectually and spluttering. What little hair he still had on his shining cranium was sticking up in several directions as well.

 

 

 

Yeah, we're all fucking delusional for questioning your genius.  You're obviously a wordsmith and a scholar.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Goddam that's bad. 

Seriously man, somewhere in your mind you have to know that, right?  It's fucking stanek/goodkind level bad.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Darth Richard II said:

Whoa.

WHOA.

Lets not go nuts.

Stanek and Goodkind are way better.

Yeah, this doesn't even have any chickens that aren't chickens in it. Very disappointing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Preserving an ineffable something, words chasing words-- it's like, you want to cast this or that moment in amber while not noticing that such constraint is akin to taking a garrote to momentum. This is not to say that there aren't times for it, but one has to be discerning in those choices. I used to suffer from the same affliction myself with my own writing, until a good friend in my writing group helped me work my way out of it. 

It's a definite problem, writing so much about what's happening that nothing actually happens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Muwhahaha said:

The conically emanating lacht from the upstairs hallway torch ended, and after a couple of secunds of intermediate darkness it was immediately replaced by that from the two torches in the first square stone chamber in the cellar below. It wouldn’t have mattered either way, to be true; this was because, also much like a felis, Lanuche found that she could see quite well in the dark with only the slightest modicum of difficulty.

When she had passed through the narrow entryway to the smith’s cellar forge, which was no more than a broken gap in the wall,[.]  she found him sitting in a sort of humayne heap on top of a closed black travel chest which was situated under the westmost cellar window and covered in dust.

She stopped about two teythes away, then began to address him. Her thin, blonde hair was sticking up in odd ways due to some latent static electricity on her person. “I don’t mean to intrude here, dath … I can see it’s your special place. It’s just … I’m a little bit confused by all of this … what’s been happening tonacht … “ She stopped then, trail[ed]ing off into a whisper.

After several secunds had passed and he still hadn’t answered her at all, or even started moving for that matter,[.] sShe walked over to him and held out her dainty right hand as if to touch him on his bulky left shoulder. Before she could reach him, however, hH[]e started anxiously; his eyes went wide, he jumped up like a jack-in-the-box, and he danced effortlessly right out of her grasp. Once he found himself clear, he began circling around her in jerky clockwise motions over towards the entryway, pointing ineffectually and spluttering. What little hair he still had on his shining cranium was sticking up in several directions as well.

In the unlikely event that Rychard finally chooses to listen, here's another edit job. To be honest, I'm seeing it more as an intellectual challenge at this point - trying to make this stuff into readable prose.

I do think it's interesting that Rychard cites King as an influence. He's clearly never read King's On Writing, where King says "the road to hell is paved with adverbs" (personally, I'm not dogmatic about it - adverbs are a perfectly legitimate part of prose - but the general principle is valid). 

Edited by Roose Boltons Pet Leech

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said:

In the unlikely event that Rychard finally chooses to listen, here's another edit job. To be honest, I'm seeing it more as an intellectual challenge at this point - trying to make this stuff into readable prose.

I do think it's interesting that Rychard cites King as an influence. He's clearly never read King's On Writing, where King says "the road to hell is paved with adjectives" (personally, I'm not dogmatic about it - adverbs are a perfectly legitimate part of prose - but the general principle is valid).

I'm a fan of adjectives and adverbs myself. But the way he deploys them it's like he's being paid by the word, and he jams so many adjectives and adverbs onto mismatched nouns and verbs that it reads like an overambitious English-as-a-second-language student armed with a thesaurus, trying his best to ape Clockwork Orange.

Edited by DanteGabriel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, DanteGabriel said:

I'm a fan of adjectives and adverbs myself. But the way he deploys them it's like he's being paid by the word, and he jams so many adjectives and adverbs onto mismatched nouns and verbs that it reads like an overambitious English-as-a-second-language student armed with a thesaurus trying his best to ape Clockwork Orange.

My analogy would be Charles Dickens as written by Jim Theis.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Roose Boltons Pet Leech said:

My analogy would be Charles Dickens as written by Jim Theis.

Ha, I almost forgot about Eye of Argon. It's an apt comparison.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, DanteGabriel said:

I'm a fan of adjectives and adverbs myself. But the way he deploys them it's like he's being paid by the word, and he jams so many adjectives and adverbs onto mismatched nouns and verbs that it reads like an overambitious English-as-a-second-language student armed with a thesaurus, trying his best to ape Clockwork Orange.

Fucking spot on.  He's thesaurus crazy, that's for sure.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alright, Roose, If you don't mind, how's this?

 

 

He jerked awake to loud bangs like gunfire.  Confused, he hopped to a crouch and scanned the horizon.  The sun was beginning to peek in the east casting a dim light on an otherwise dark scene.  He looked about unsure whether his dreams were firing guns or something outside of dreamland was attacking.  He ran to the rail and again looked about and again got nothing.  No backlit outlines or dark objects were visible.  

He ran to the lift, flipped the express switch and shot into the air as the pulley yanked him to the flydeck.  He hopped off and before he’d taken two steps, the gunfire sounded again.  This time he could place it.  Hells, he could see it.  

Across the deck he saw Beisa and the Dieso kids standing, each holding a rifle.  Their speech was muffled by distance but he could now see what they were doing.  As he watched, Beisa set and released a skeet shot, sending the clay disk spinning like a frisbee.  All three kids had their rifles up in a blink and in a breath, their shots rang out like morning laughter.

 

 

This is a first draft.  I know it needs some work but I'd like to see what you think and where you think it needs it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, Muwhahaha said:

He jerked awake to loud bangs like gunfire.  Confused, he hopped to a crouch and scanned the horizon.  The sun was beginning to peek in the east casting a dim light on an otherwise dark sceneHe looked about unsure whether his dreams were firing guns or something outside of dreamland was attacking.  H, he ran to the rail and again looked about and again got nothing.  No backlit outlines or dark objects were visible.  

He ran to the lift, [and] flipped the express switch and shot into the air as the pulley yanked him to the flydeck.  He hopped off and before he’d taken two steps, the gunfire sounded again.  This time he could place it.  Hells, he could see it.  

Across the deck he saw Beisa and the Dieso kids standing, each holding a rifle.  Their speech was muffled by distance but he could now see what they were doing.  As he watched, Beisa set and released a skeet shot, sending the clay disk spinning like a frisbee.  All three kids had their rifles up in a blink and in a breath, [.]tTheir shots rang out like morning laughter.

Cut bold.

Edited by Roose Boltons Pet Leech

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see what the problem is. The board thinks trying to capitalise U is underline, and capitalise S is strike. A shame I can't undo it without deleting the entire post, but I hope you get the idea.

Edited by Roose Boltons Pet Leech

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Muwhahaha said:

You can follow the link in his sig to see his stuff for free.  It's worth it.  It made me feel like William fucking Shakespeare.  His writing makes Robert Stanek look like Mark Twain.  

I appreciate the advice, but I lack time to read all the books I want so I definitely won't be wasting it on this guy's "stuff".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×