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Red Typer of Dorne

Facts about Stannis Baratheon

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I'm sitting at home on my day off, bored to death, so I thought I'd share some 100% true fact about Stannis.



1. Stannis Baratheons tears can cure greyscale, however Westeros is unlikely to benefit from this as Stannis never cries.


2. If you can see Stannis, Stannis can see you. If you can't see Stannis, you may be seconds from death.


3. Stannis once one a game of Cyvasse despite only having a light infantry, the top hat from Monopoly and 2 pegs from a Cribbage board to play with,


4. Stannis once visited the Maiden vault, after his visit it was renamed the Vault.



Anyone have any other facts about Stannis?


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5. There was once street named after Stannis is King's Landing, but it was changed because nobody crosses Stannis Baratheon and lives.

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S tannis the Mannis once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

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8.Stannis doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

9 . Stannis doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

10. Stannis starved to death at Storm's End 16 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

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Ramsay once threatened to hunt Stannis down with his hounds, "that's a shame," replied Stannis grinning and licking his lips, "I like dogs."


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14. Once Stannis organized "who won't blink for longer time " contest against gargoyles at Dragonstone. Stannis won.

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15. Someone in a city once predicted how Stannis Baratheon would die, this city was Valeria, the doom happened shortly after

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Stannis doesn't believe or bow to any Gods, all the Gods believe and bow to Stannis.



The reason Winter is Coming, is because Stannis ordered it.



GRRM didn't create Stannis, Stannis created GRRM. Stannis heart is warmed by fanboy tears, he won't release the next book until he has his due.


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Stannis uses a Valyrian Steel sword to shave, he is never cut himself. Actually he has to replace them frequently because they loose their edge.

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