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Red Typer of Dorne

Facts about Stannis Baratheon

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Stannis wanted a real challenge, so he went into George's dreams and ask for him to give the Lannisters Wildfire and Tyrells, to give Stan the man a challange. He also did not retreat, he left because he was hungry for Kraken.


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1. Stannis Baratheons tears can cure greyscale, however Westeros is unlikely to benefit from this as Stannis never cries.

3. Stannis once one a game of Cyvasse despite only having a light infantry, the top hat from Monopoly and 2 pegs from a Cribbage board to play with,

4. Stannis once visited the Maiden vault, after his visit it was renamed the Vault.

Stannis could win Cyvasse with a snakes and ladders token.

5. There was once street named after Stannis is King's Landing, but it was changed because nobody crosses Stannis Baratheon and lives.

Stannis Baratheon drank a whole glass of the Tears of Lys once, when Death came he asked for a second glass.

Was that a Hobert Hightower reference?

"I liked the Targaryen girlĀ“s dragons, loyal , fierce, strong... but we ate them"

- Stannis I Baratheon

As a young boy, Stannis once had a staring contest with a maester called Aemon

Stannis Baratheon did not follow the teachings of The Lord of Light, The Lord of Light followed Stannis Baratheon, before being murdered... because nobody follows Stannis Baratheon.

The only reason Roberts older is that Stannis kicked him out of the womb

"Get out Robert, you drunk"

The Great Other has his mommy check under his bed for Stannis each night.

This thread is great, kudos to all the guys I quoted.

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As a young boy, Stannis once had a staring contest with a maester called Aemon

Terrible, just so morally wrong.

But I digress :cheers:

Here's one for the Stannifans:

Stannis I Baratheon does not die a noble death

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The Others have spent the last 8,000 years hiding from Stannis. The only reason they're back now is that they heard a rumor he was dead.


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so OP took a bunch of old Chuck Norris jokes and made them about Stannis and ASOIAF...how original, this has never been done before on the internet, mark it on the calendar...

Any Brian Williams reporting jokes while your at it?

What about Pete Carroll should have run the ball?

or those too current?

The OP's jokes are still funny so kudos to the OP.

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The Others have spent the last 8,000 years hiding from Stannis. The only reason they're back now is that they heard a rumor he was dead.

No there marching south to bend the knee

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The Doctor brings Stannis along because the Zygons and Autons(aliens that can shapeshift into humans) can turn into Stannis because if they do, they turn to ash.


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Stannis Baratheon doesn't have nightmares, Nightmares have Stannis Baratheon ......and then they have to go pee

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Facts about Stannis:



1) Stannis is a mammal


2) Stannis kills people all the time and doesn't even give a crap


3) Stannis is cool, and by cool, I mean totally sweet


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There are no mysteries in the Planetos. Only things that Stannis Baratheon hasn't shared with the rest of us.

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