The Glorious Comeuppance Thread

[TerraPrime]

A girl who was an absolute bitch and a bully in high school is now an embarassing internet meme. Could not possibly have happened to a better person, even if I had nothing to do with it.

You were classmate with Bristol Palin?

[Arch-MaesterPhilip]

A girl who was an absolute bitch and a bully in high school is now an embarassing internet meme. Could not possibly have happened to a better person, even if I had nothing to do with it.

Let's see it.

[Horza]

Young Horza and Friend are at the beach, in their late teens. Great beach weather, but there's a small issue in that the shore is teeming with these little shits. Young Horza suggests that this is not ideal for swimming, Friend replies: "Go have a cry, Young Horza!" and proceeds to enter the water. Minutes later the inevitable happens, and Young Horza is not the one crying.

[Malik Ambar]

The city born-and-bred have a thing against us rural natives. You know, we are the scum who are inherently lawless, ruining the city, etc etc. There used to be this asshole at work who decreed by the heavenly power bestowed on him that I , the rowdie from the villages, was to be eternally biased against and be always treated with suspision and hostility.

Now romeo once bought a date at this restaurant where I was dining a few tables away. Near his table were a few blue-collar sort of people dining and minding their own business. They too spoke the same native tongue that I did and hotshot decided to show off to his date how cool he was by purposely cracking insulting jokes about our people and our langueage. These folks heard him but still did nothing. Now he decides to do the unthinkable : Loudly asks them how the establishment allowed them to dine. Suddenly the whole restaurant went silent. Everybody is looking daggers at A-hole, and the dudes across the table were ready to thrash him, when , possibly possessed by some higher power, I loudly shouted, "Well, they're clearly allowing the likes of you to come in " or something along the lines (content lost in translation ) Man, that diffused the mood and everybody was laughing at jerk.The loud clapping and him being booed out only made the moment merrier.

[Lily Valley]

A coworker tried to get me fired once by having a friend of her's impersonate an FBI agent. He left a card. I called the FBI and had them tell my boss that they had absolutely no idea who I was. Turns out the local office knows all the cases every agent is working on.

I have made flyers with phone numbers that are not my own. I am not proud of this.

I went to a High school that was grudgingly accepting kids from out of district. I was an out-of-district kid. Our Chemistry teacher was fond of posting all the grades on the board. After our second test one of the Class Princes decided to flirt with my lab partner and ask her what she got on her exam. She held up her 87%. He asked me what I got, 88%. Top score that exam was an 88%. Next highest 87% was an 81%. This dumass had a 75% that he was proud of. That felt good. My first "I belong here" moment in a science course.

The asshole kid who made my life hell in 8th grade for being flat chested tried to pick me up when I was 16, What an idiot.

I once threw beer on a dude who did BAD THINGS to a friend of mine. I repeated this performance for an entire year. He threatened to call Children's Services to report me for "irrational behavior" and file a restraining order against me as a result.

The New Orleans Community stepped in and recommended that he just STAY TEN FEET AWAY FROM ME instead. The Community also recommended that taking a private beef to the State Government was an Act of War and then they would have to choose sides. They suggested that attacking a person through The State rather than through wit, intrigue or misderection would look very poor while people were taking sides.

I can't throw beer further than ten feet. Plus, I was a single mum of a 5 year old. I was out maybe once a month. (Why was this asshole always at my table? Must love beer-shirts.)

Not paying rent. Every single solitary month. My place is a dump, and I'm still broke from just fixing the really really bad problems around here, but not paying rent is a real nice F-U to everyone who told me I was a fkn idiot to buy this joint.

[Isis]

I miss this guy so much. I cannot tell you how boring meetings are now without his mispronunciations and word misuse.

I long for the days when people were throwing down gondolas, fragrantly breaking rules, and so, so, many more little jewels.

Fragrant Disregard (*genuinely writing this down in my list of potential beer names now*)

[Salafi Stannis]

This guy is not very bright, and likes to use big words. He would talk about 'fragrant safety violations'.

Ps the room stank for days.

So what you're saying is that this was a... fragrant violation?

:lmao:

[rocksniffer]

Fair enough. I usually find it shallow, empty and thin to go into threads with the express purpose to bully and insult entire groups of people. But YMMV

<_<

Thanks for that healthy dose of Wednesday Paternalism. I feel I can safely navigate my day.

And yes, we know you frequently delight in other people's suffering.

:angry: ok now i shall spend several minutes thinking of pouring dr. pepper down the drain just for shits and giggles...

I was a small bespectacled and awkward lad with odd interests in a rural farming/logging town. I had few friends and was a general pariah. Mockery and bullying were ordinary fare.

So, my vengeance was moving away, following my dreams, becoming a success and leaving that world behind.

Oh, and once I pissed all over a dude's gym bag while we were on a overnight wrestling trip for frequently hazing me.

It is a toss up on what has brought me more satisfaction in life.

:lmao: a bag full of piss is worth 10 successful lives, in my not so humble opinion

Ah, revenge, the prominent hobby of board nobility.

Fair warning: this story is degrading to my character. If you want to think less of me, keep reading!

Trigger warnings for people who vomit easily.

My junior year of college one of roommates studied abroad in the spring, leaving a vacant spot in our university housing. It was a triple, and the other roomie and I were kind of nervous about whether or not the school would stick us with another one or not.

Well about two weeks into the semester this grad student emails the two of us saying that hes been assigned to our room. Turns out my roommate knew him through a friend, and we were just glad the guy was okay with us smoking weed in the room, which was really our only criteria anyway.

Turns out this is a lousy only criterium.

The guy was really preachy about how, "like, the system is totally fucked, man!" and he was really selfrighteous and annoying. But it got real bad the night I returned from Spring Break to find him doing a bunch of coke with a freshman girl. They informed me they were also on acid, and that she'd never tried any drugs before. This sounded like a recipe for bad things, even to my weed-addled mind.

My other roommate and I went in the other room to confer. He said that University police had been by earlier in the day looking for SelfRighteousStoner Roommate. Said they'd heard he was living there and wanted to talk to him. So it came about in this conversation that the SRS roommate had never even been assigned to our room, but had just kind of wormed his way in by telling us he had been, probably because he knew we were a couple of degenerate potheads.

Anyway, it seemed like the guy had been dealing coke and was wanted by university police. This was too much for us to overlook, and something had to be done. Not being snitches, the two of us went to a friends house around the corner to brainstorm.

Brainstorming was getting really drunk and stoned, and then deciding the best revenge would be for SRS roomie to be covered in vomit during his acid/coke binge. So I took another few shots to get the nausea creeping in, filled up a water bottle with mayonaise, ketchup, maple syrup, vinegar and some rancid milk, and went back to my room. A few friends were in tow to watch what was about to happen.

Already on the brink of puking, I paused outside the bedroom door, took a big swig of the nasty stuff, then burst into the room. SRS roomie was in bed with the freshman girl, they sat bolt upright, startled, and I ejected the contents of my stomach directly onto his torso. I then turned around and bolted out of the room and ran back to my friends house around the corner.

He moved out the next day. Don't be a dishonest couch surfer and sell hard drugs.

Ps the room stank for days.

a small price to pay for such a glorious act of projectile revenge...though i find maple syrup to be an odd ingredient in what was otherwise a perfect puke inducing cocktail...

...i guess a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...(yes that's right a mary poppins reference...i am the world's greatest uncle after all and mary poppins is required watching)

as for my own revenge seeking life...i have usually been more of the water off a duck's back kinda dude, but not so very long ago a useless slug attacked a friend of mine...since this dickless wonder often drops by my favorite watering hole i had the perfect opportunity and just couldn't say no...

i bought him a drink and said all was well between us...he believed me, since i am such a happy drunk, and we proceeded to toast each other and get quite ripped....well he got quite ripped since bartender was also friend to victim, my drinks were actually just plain tea ( i drink vodka and sweet tea)...

when he finally staggered to door to drive home he discovered my truck blocking his vehicle...i hastily agreed to move and then proceeded drunkenly (he thought) to back into his vehicle 4 times...which since he was in a sporty little coup and i was in a four wheel drive f-150 with large hitch on the rear effectively transformed it into a lawn ornament...and since we were such good ol' drinking buddies he drunkenly waived any right to have me held responsible...

days later he thought to try and have me implicated but as my truck had no visible damage and not one witness was willing to offer support for his statements he had no recourse, causing his insurance to withhold payment until such time he could prove he didn't do it himself trying to leave the bar drunk...

so sad to see the silly fucker riding his little mo-ped around town now.... :laugh:

moral - beware a pissed-off sober sniffer...he may do more than throw rocks...

:smoking:

eta: because MC needed a full-throated laugh

[Kelli Fury]

Holy shit, you guys. Holy shit.

Last summer a guys comes in to book an appointment for a pinup, this was one of the rare occasions my assistant couldn't consult it for me due to the amount of detail. He wants it on his arm and kind of a naughty nurse pinup. He has emailed reference photos ahead, I had looked at them yet but my assistant had them printed for me in a folder with my stuff for the day (I'm spoiled, I know). He wants the pinup to look like a particular person , hence the reference photos. So far, nothing crazy. Then he tells me ITS HIS EXWIFE/BABYMAMA. Aaaaaand he wants the eyes to be "really empty and soulless". I manage to keep my composure. I look at the reference photos. They are soft core boudoir type photos. But the look on her face is like the pictures kidnapping victims have sent to their families- all smile to let them know you're fine....for now. I convince him that he should not put it on his arm and anyway it requires more space than that, hoping the vast size required would make him abandon his creepy project. Instead he books a full day to start a full side piece. His appointment rolls around and SHE IS WITH HIM. I can't ask what the deal is with that and I am very uncomfortable about sitting between actual her and a photo of her I'm sure she didn't expect me to ever see, taped to my lamp for reference. And the soulless nurse her stenciled in front of me. As it turns out, in addition to being a barely restrained psychopath, he has no pain tolerance at all. He sits worse than anyone I have ever tattooed in 10 years. He makes it through 3 hours of an 8 hour booking, and because of his sissy pantywaist behavior we get what I'd normally have down in 70 minutes, tops. While it is against my usual policy, I only charge him for the three hours (normally you pay for the time you scheduled because it isn't my fault if you're a candyass). He books a 4 hour appointment for 4 weeks later, I don't take deposits on second sessions and beyond on the same piece. He no shows his appointment. After that, he turns up a few months later and books again, I allow it, against policy, normally if you noshow once you prepay after or you fuck off. He shows up and wants the whole thing changed. Having not been notified of any changes, this is a major suck on our scheduled time. He wants to change it so she looks like she's been beaten and her heart ripped out, blood coming out of her eyes. I use the bloody eyes to make it look less like her because that is completely insane. This time, his elderly mother is with. Watching me tattoo a mildly pornographic, bloody version of the mother of her grandchildren. Again, he sits so badly that if I taped it we'd be famous on YouTube. He takes so many breaks I have to tell him if he takes another I cannot get to a reasonable stopping point in his tattoo before closing and it will ruin the gradient somewhere. I explain that if that happens I am not working on it again because it will not be up to my quality standards. He is very mad at me, but I'm trying very hard to keep him from disfiguring himself by moving and fucking it up or stopping at a time we can't stop. We finish again, less than half of what we should, and he books another appointment for 4 weeks out. That appointment was today. He did not show up. Next time he does, my assistant will inform him that I have fired him as my client, for wasting time I was not paid for by missing his appointments. If he would like me to ever finish his tattoo he must pay in advance for a minimum of 3 hours (at 150/hr ) which is not refundable no matter how little he sits or if he does not show up. I hope we never hear from him again

[Larry of the Lawn]

So a few years ago I run into an old acquaintance that had screwed me over royally in the past. I won't get into the details but suffice to say he dishonored my family. He acted like nothing had ever happened, and sat the next bar stool over and got really drunk. At this point, I told him "Hey, I've got a couple bottles of Pliny the Elder back at my place." He enthusiastically begged to try one.

So we go back to my dad's house, and down to the basement where we keep the good beer. The old acquaintance is giddy with anticipation and totally wasted. When we get to the closet in the basement, I chain him to the wall and start filling in the doorway with the bricks and mortar I had waiting there. As far as I know, he's still down there to this day.

[Theda Baratheon]

Holy shit, you guys. Holy shit.

Oh my god; this doesn't even sound REAL; what a fucking CREEP. :ack:

[The Once and Future King]

Holy shit, you guys. Holy shit.

Last summer a guys comes in to book an appointment for a pinup, this was one of the rare occasions my assistant couldn't consult it for me due to the amount of detail. He wants it on his arm and kind of a naughty nurse pinup. He has emailed reference photos ahead, I had looked at them yet but my assistant had them printed for me in a folder with my stuff for the day (I'm spoiled, I know). He wants the pinup to look like a particular person , hence the reference photos. So far, nothing crazy. Then he tells me ITS HIS EXWIFE/BABYMAMA. Aaaaaand he wants the eyes to be "really empty and soulless". I manage to keep my composure. I look at the reference photos. They are soft core boudoir type photos. But the look on her face is like the pictures kidnapping victims have sent to their families- all smile to let them know you're fine....for now. I convince him that he should not put it on his arm and anyway it requires more space than that, hoping the vast size required would make him abandon his creepy project. Instead he books a full day to start a full side piece. His appointment rolls around and SHE IS WITH HIM. I can't ask what the deal is with that and I am very uncomfortable about sitting between actual her and a photo of her I'm sure she didn't expect me to ever see, taped to my lamp for reference. And the soulless nurse her stenciled in front of me. As it turns out, in addition to being a barely restrained psychopath, he has no pain tolerance at all. He sits worse than anyone I have ever tattooed in 10 years. He makes it through 3 hours of an 8 hour booking, and because of his sissy pantywaist behavior we get what I'd normally have down in 70 minutes, tops. While it is against my usual policy, I only charge him for the three hours (normally you pay for the time you scheduled because it isn't my fault if you're a candyass). He books a 4 hour appointment for 4 weeks later, I don't take deposits on second sessions and beyond on the same piece. He no shows his appointment. After that, he turns up a few months later and books again, I allow it, against policy, normally if you noshow once you prepay after or you fuck off. He shows up and wants the whole thing changed. Having not been notified of any changes, this is a major suck on our scheduled time. He wants to change it so she looks like she's been beaten and her heart ripped out, blood coming out of her eyes. I use the bloody eyes to make it look less like her because that is completely insane. This time, his elderly mother is with. Watching me tattoo a mildly pornographic, bloody version of the mother of her grandchildren. Again, he sits so badly that if I taped it we'd be famous on YouTube. He takes so many breaks I have to tell him if he takes another I cannot get to a reasonable stopping point in his tattoo before closing and it will ruin the gradient somewhere. I explain that if that happens I am not working on it again because it will not be up to my quality standards. He is very mad at me, but I'm trying very hard to keep him from disfiguring himself by moving and fucking it up or stopping at a time we can't stop. We finish again, less than half of what we should, and he books another appointment for 4 weeks out. That appointment was today. He did not show up. Next time he does, my assistant will inform him that I have fired him as my client, for wasting time I was not paid for by missing his appointments. If he would like me to ever finish his tattoo he must pay in advance for a minimum of 3 hours (at 150/hr ) which is not refundable no matter how little he sits or if he does not show up. I hope we never hear from him again

You mean you are not finishing my ink????

[Kelli Fury]

He's not even the biggest creep client I've ever had, he pales in comparison to "dick guy", who, after two years of high level creep behavior to me AND MY FRIENDS was client fired for ejaculating into the refillable soap container in the shop bathroom.

[Theda Baratheon]

Ewwwwwwwww. :ack:

[Elder Sister]

Holy shit, you guys. Holy shit.

Scary, scary dude alert.

This guy is dangerous. You be careful, Kay. <3

He's not even the biggest creep client I've ever had, he pales in comparison to "dick guy", who, after two years of high level creep behavior to me AND MY FRIENDS was client fired for ejaculating into the refillable soap container in the shop bathroom.

I am horrified at how hard I laughed at this. What is wrong with me?!? But, yeah...that's definite grounds for being fired as a client.

[Demonblade]

I once worked in a reasonably large pharmacy chain. I started part time, and had several placements throughout the city, working four hour shifts here and there. It sucked, and I had to supplement my income by finding another part time job to make enough money to pay the bills. The job I found basically gave enough hours to be considered full time, so I put in my notice at the pharmacy job, thinking that it would be better if I just gave up trying to work in a pharmacy and just go back to working in a warehouse again. My supervisor thought better and offered me a full time position at one location. Sounds like a great sequence of events, right? Well at first it seemed so.

My new location started off well, as it was at a great place and the staff was friendly enough. That is, until the pharmacy tech I replaced wanted her old job back, as the place she left for ended up being boring and the hours were erratic. Now there was nothing anybody could do about it, especially given that I was a pretty good replacement, but that did not stop one pharmacist in particular from making for a hostile environment to work. Suddenly it was like I was the ugly kid at high school and she and her tech friends did their best mean girls impression. I was given a hard time for the slightest infractions, and had to endure silly silent treatment and petty whispers whenever the boss wasn't around. The pharmacist considered herself to be the assistant pharmacy manager, a position that didn't exist. I felt that I didn't have anything else to do but just quit. This, only a few months after I quit the other part time job. But I didn't care, as I had to get out of there.

So after I gave my notice to the pharmacy manager, the next shift I had with the pharmacist in question she was as giddy as could be, as apparently she succeeded in getting me out and her friend back working with them. Problem was, once my predecessor applied to come back, her seniority disappeared, and she would have to work her way back up to a full time position. When the pharmacist found out, she threw a tantrum on the phone, stamping her feet in protest, but there was nothing she could do, fake assistant pharmacy manager or no. I couldn't help but have a smirk on my face for the rest of the day.

A month later, I received a letter from the head office, asking for me to fill out an exit survey. One of the questions was why I wanted to leave. I figured that I may as well be honest and just let it all out, not naming names but describing in detail the shit that I had to go through. Cut ahead another year I ended up passing through another pharmacy from the same chain, which was out of the way and was a low density store. I saw the licenses of the pharmacists stationed there, checking to see if I recognized any names, as pharmacists frequently cover for other pharmacists at different locations. One license in particular was not even hanging on the wall, and just was placed on a counter, lazily leaning against the wall. Apparently she got transferred to this low density store, despite being so important as to call herself the assistant pharmacy manager. I like to think that my exit survey had something to do with her exile, and even now, years later, her license is still in that same spot.

[Theda Baratheon]

I once worked in a reasonably large pharmacy chain. I started part time, and had several placements throughout the city, working four hour shifts here and there. It sucked, and I had to supplement my income by finding another part time job to make enough money to pay the bills. The job I found basically gave enough hours to be considered full time, so I put in my notice at the pharmacy job, thinking that it would be better if I just gave up trying to work in a pharmacy and just go back to working in a warehouse again. My supervisor thought better and offered me a full time position at one location. Sounds like a great sequence of events, right? Well at first it seemed so.

My new location started off well, as it was at a

a...?!?! WHAT WAS IT???

[Demonblade]

a...?!?! WHAT WAS IT???

Sorry, baby made me press reply prematurely.

[Dr. Pepper]

So a few years ago I run into an old acquaintance that had screwed me over royally in the past. I won't get into the details but suffice to say he dishonored my family. He acted like nothing had ever happened, and sat the next bar stool over and got really drunk. At this point, I told him "Hey, I've got a couple bottles of Pliny the Elder back at my place." He enthusiastically begged to try one.

So we go back to my dad's house, and down to the basement where we keep the good beer. The old acquaintance is giddy with anticipation and totally wasted. When we get to the closet in the basement, I chain him to the wall and start filling in the doorway with the bricks and mortar I had waiting there. As far as I know, he's still down there to this day.

lol, I like that I had to really think about whether or not this is something that happened outside of the confines of your imagination. Then I got mildly disappointed because I'm one of those people who wants to be able to say dumb shit like "I knew this guy, total psycho, who bricked up some dude in his basement."

[Lily Valley]

Holy shit, you guys.

<snip>

he must pay in advance for a minimum of 3 hours (at 150/hr ) which is not refundable no matter how little he sits or if he does not show up. I hope we never hear from him again

Good for you. That is BULLSHIT.

There's not a high enough hourly rate to eat that shit