Rant and Rave without Repercussion [Book Spoilers]

[R4W13Y]

what was the point of stannis refusing mel last episode?!

Because, D&D are supes good at foreshadowing!

I'm struggling to come up with a word that defines this episode for me. The ones that come first to mind are "hackneyed" and "lame." It wasn't terrible, it wasn't great. It just seems like a pretty sloppy episode.

Stannis' Camp

You have to hand it to Ramsay's Raiders, they sure are good at their work. They managed to burn the supply lines, all the siege equipment, and cut the horse lines without setting off a single alarm or being captured. You'd think one of them would try to slip into Stannis' tent and kill him, seeing as they so effortlessly breached the perimeter. I love how the report was of "20 men or less." Good guess, man! The whole Davos to CB thing seemed to go off so smoothly. He obviously has strong suspicions about burning Shireen (and if he doesn't, he's an idiot) but he just goes off without even an attempt at a Gendry plan. The whole Shireen/Stannis scene felt very contrived to me. Not nearly as good as the one earlier in the season. I guess Stannis' rambling about having to choose should have been deep, but it just left me shaking my head. And you can't get much more heavy-handed than "Is there any way I can help? I'm you're daughter!" What the fuck was with making Selyse come around at the last minute? Was the actress mistakenly acting out Stannis' part? The whole season she's been ready to burn her, and then they chicken out with the depiction at the last minute. I get that wanting a thing in theory and going through with it are two different things, but it seemed to come out of nowhere. The burning Shireen screams were SO gratuitous.

The Wall

Man, even for a show where half the characters own jetpacks, that was a ridiculously quick journey. They got back from Hardhome with hundreds of women, children, and presumably injured people in about a day and a half. Hey look, guys! It's Olly! In case you didn't know, he's none too happy about this wildling business! Don't worry, I think he's coming around, though. He'll probably be over it in a day or so.

Dorne

In Dorne we have another awkward characterization flip. Faullaria goes from from angrily pouring out one for her homies to crying in front of Doran to telling Jaime that she's totes cool with incest (I mean, she's Dornish after all, those pervs have no taboos amirite?) all in the space of ten minutes. Meanwhile, the Sand Fakes are playing the slap game...for some reason. Also, Trystane gets to be on the small council because being sixteen, smarmy, and having a glass jaw are totally all the qualifications you need! Meanwhile, someone stole Myrcella's necklace out of her room and Bronn gets punched for our amusement!

Braavos

Jesus, Arya really shouldn't have been given this mission, because she is the most awkward and obvious assassin to ever walk the planet. Marvel as she suspiciously pulls a bottle out and then hides it on her person right in front of her intended target! Also, apparently the most appropriate place for a high ranking official of the Iron Bank to meet the Hand of the King is on a smelly dock in Ragman's Harbor. Watch as Arya follows ten feet behind glaring daggers at Meryn Trant while still pushing her oyster cart. Mace Tyrell has a bitching singing voice, though. In case you didn't hate Meryn Trant enough, listen to him make a homophobic joke about a character that has been dead for years! Arya continues her stellar plan of standing around a brothel and gaping like a moron without a plan. Then, eventually she is kicked out. What stellar television this is!

Meereen

The best thing you can say about this section is that the fight choreography is much better than it has been for most of this season, which is good, because there are endless minutes of it! The hamfisted Daario/Dany/Hizzy love triangle conversation was so incredibly awkward. Then Tyrion got off some sick burn about Hizzy being an idiot that made no sense, but it's cool, because he is such a wise and trusted advisor now! A fighter hesitates in killing Jorah for no apparent reason. I guess he thought he was in Gladiator for a second and needed Dany's approval, even though Hizzy explicitly states that she wouldn't be able to stop it anyway. Then Jorah uses his eagle eye to kill a Harpy that somehow escaped detection by all the guards and was like three feet behind Dany. Then the Harpies just start killing...everyone? Wait, why are they doing that? Aren't they Meereenese freedom fighters? Why are they just slaughtering people in the crowd left and right? Then Hizzy gets stabbed and Jorah touches Dany because he either keeps forgetting he has the most contagious disease ever or he wants Dany to get it. Tyrion gets to bravely save Missy because Greyworm has been in the hospital for three months and he needs to prove he is as strong as he is smart. Then the Harpies surround Dany, but I guess they hit their cue too early or else Drogon was really late because they stand around like idiots until dragontime. Dany's reaction to this whole mess is of course to close her eyes and wait for death. She gets 1/100th of the badassness of the book moment where she whips Drogon into submission before flying out of the pit on a giant piece of rubber. Good times.

I'm ready for this to be over now.

:bowdown: (as usual)

I really want to know how it's inconsistent with the guy who killed his brother, and was willing to kill his other brother's son for the exact character to do what he did tonight?

Stannis isn't a good guy. He's a kinslayer. He sold his soul for the IT a long time ago and this is his all or nothing moment.

Feel free to read any number of explanations already provided in this thread. Or go to one of the numerous discussion threads - as this is not one of them.

[Dagon]

I'm struggling to come up with a word that defines this episode for me. The ones that come first to mind are "hackneyed" and "lame." It wasn't terrible, it wasn't great. It just seems like a pretty sloppy episode.

Stannis' Camp

You have to hand it to Ramsay's Raiders, they sure are good at their work. They managed to burn the supply lines, all the siege equipment, and cut the horse lines without setting off a single alarm or being captured. You'd think one of them would try to slip into Stannis' tent and kill him, seeing as they so effortlessly breached the perimeter. I love how the report was of "20 men or less." Good guess, man! The whole Davos to CB thing seemed to go off so smoothly. He obviously has strong suspicions about burning Shireen (and if he doesn't, he's an idiot) but he just goes off without even an attempt at a Gendry plan. The whole Shireen/Stannis scene felt very contrived to me. Not nearly as good as the one earlier in the season. I guess Stannis' rambling about having to choose should have been deep, but it just left me shaking my head. And you can't get much more heavy-handed than "Is there any way I can help? I'm you're daughter!" What the fuck was with making Selyse come around at the last minute? Was the actress mistakenly acting out Stannis' part? The whole season she's been ready to burn her, and then they chicken out with the depiction at the last minute. I get that wanting a thing in theory and going through with it are two different things, but it seemed to come out of nowhere. The burning Shireen screams were SO gratuitous.

The Wall

Man, even for a show where half the characters own jetpacks, that was a ridiculously quick journey. They got back from Hardhome with hundreds of women, children, and presumably injured people in about a day and a half. Hey look, guys! It's Olly! In case you didn't know, he's none too happy about this wildling business! Don't worry, I think he's coming around, though. He'll probably be over it in a day or so.

Dorne

In Dorne we have another awkward characterization flip. Faullaria goes from from angrily pouring out one for her homies to crying in front of Doran to telling Jaime that she's totes cool with incest (I mean, she's Dornish after all, those pervs have no taboos amirite?) all in the space of ten minutes. Meanwhile, the Sand Fakes are playing the slap game...for some reason. Also, Trystane gets to be on the small council because being sixteen, smarmy, and having a glass jaw are totally all the qualifications you need! Meanwhile, someone stole Myrcella's necklace out of her room and Bronn gets punched for our amusement!

Braavos

Jesus, Arya really shouldn't have been given this mission, because she is the most awkward and obvious assassin to ever walk the planet. Marvel as she suspiciously pulls a bottle out and then hides it on her person right in front of her intended target! Also, apparently the most appropriate place for a high ranking official of the Iron Bank to meet the Hand of the King is on a smelly dock in Ragman's Harbor. Watch as Arya follows ten feet behind glaring daggers at Meryn Trant while still pushing her oyster cart. Mace Tyrell has a bitching singing voice, though. In case you didn't hate Meryn Trant enough, listen to him make a homophobic joke about a character that has been dead for years! Arya continues her stellar plan of standing around a brothel and gaping like a moron without a plan. Then, eventually she is kicked out. What stellar television this is!

Meereen

The best thing you can say about this section is that the fight choreography is much better than it has been for most of this season, which is good, because there are endless minutes of it! The hamfisted Daario/Dany/Hizzy love triangle conversation was so incredibly awkward. Then Tyrion got off some sick burn about Hizzy being an idiot that made no sense, but it's cool, because he is such a wise and trusted advisor now! A fighter hesitates in killing Jorah for no apparent reason. I guess he thought he was in Gladiator for a second and needed Dany's approval, even though Hizzy explicitly states that she wouldn't be able to stop it anyway. Then Jorah uses his eagle eye to kill a Harpy that somehow escaped detection by all the guards and was like three feet behind Dany. Then the Harpies just start killing...everyone? Wait, why are they doing that? Aren't they Meereenese freedom fighters? Why are they just slaughtering people in the crowd left and right? Then Hizzy gets stabbed and Jorah touches Dany because he either keeps forgetting he has the most contagious disease ever or he wants Dany to get it. Tyrion gets to bravely save Missy because Greyworm has been in the hospital for three months and he needs to prove he is as strong as he is smart. Then the Harpies surround Dany, but I guess they hit their cue too early or else Drogon was really late because they stand around like idiots until dragontime. Dany's reaction to this whole mess is of course to close her eyes and wait for death. She gets 1/100th of the badassness of the book moment where she whips Drogon into submission before flying out of the pit on a giant piece of rubber. Good times.

I'm ready for this to be over now.

Thank you, I needed this.

[JonCon's Red Beard]

I will actually give them a pass on the Trant pedo thing because I assume they want Arya to impersonate a prostitute to kill him and the only way she can get close to him is if he's into really young girls. I mean it's a hamfisted solution but at least I can see the wheel turning in their head and why they did it.

I can't even begin to comprehend the thought process that put the Dorne scenes on paper and said "this is good, let's shoot these scenes".

Arya is already old enough to be within Westerosi standard for lust. No need.

[Alayne's Shadow.]

So, most gratuitous abuse of the two remaining innocent female characters, with nowhere near enough development to justify the abusive situation in some way:

Sansa or Shireen?

Sansa, just because they went with the ridiculous empowerment crap.

[Ser Duncan of Flea Bottom]

Here are my opinion:

North/Wall:

They totally ruined Stannis. Why making him go all caring with Shireen in an episode and then making him agree with her burning? That was really poor writing.

Can't they make for the watch with Ollie a bit more obvious? All the time he gives awkward stares to Jon. That's so cheesy. Another thing, Why isn't Sam leaving to Oldtown yet?

Braavos:

So there was a king Maegor III? lol, that was the worse invention ever. They are making Mace Tyrell sounds dumber and dumber by the minute.

Trant is now a paedo, was that really necessary? For a moment I thought the woman would grab Arya and give her to him.

Arya's mission is taking forever to be accomplished. She is being so obvious, that also must be pointed out.

Dorne:

So they totally changed Ellaria, she is defiant. But then again, all of a sudden she is scared and knelt before Doran. The Sandsnakes awful and more awful by the episode.

Trystane became everybody now, he will got o KL and will sit in the council, right! And what an easy agreement. I'll give you Myrcella back and my son will go too and be in danger.

Meereen:

Gladiator through and through lol

is Hizdarh dead?

Jorah walking around with Greyscale and didn't bother to tell anyone so far.

Daario being Daario, at least that is canon, him being obnoxious.

[bobbybuilderton]

Why is everyone freaking out about this blog post?

And they really could have used some music during Shireen's death... I mean, it did not feel sad at all...

So I guess the EP9 climax streak has finally fucked up.

Freaking out over it because they interpret it as him very subtly calling out the show for stupid decisions.

Tobias Menzies, who played Brutus on HBO's ROME and Edmure Tully on GAME OF THRONES, is especially noteworthy in a double role. (I just hope we'll be able to get him back, if and when D&D decide to return to the riverlands).

Diana got sixteen episodes for one novel, two eight-episode half-seasons, which had me gnashing my teeth in envy... until I remembered that OUTLANDER has no dragons, direwolves, or ice zombies, and so far no major battles either.

[Northbound3.0]

Btw, Tyrion goes from Volantis to VALYRIA to Meereen and has time for some fireside chats with Dany, but Mace only JUST NOW gets to Braavos?

Stopped off in Highgarden, to say hello, to his other nonexistent sons?

[kimim]

I will actually give them a pass on the Trant pedo thing because I assume they want Arya to impersonate a prostitute to kill him and the only way she can get close to him is if he's into really young girls. I mean it's a hamfisted solution but at least I can see the wheel turning in their head and why they did it.

I can't even begin to comprehend the thought process that put the Dorne scenes on paper and said "this is good, let's shoot these scenes".

I agree the Trant pedo thing was fine. Trant is an asshole. Arya wants him dead. He's a pedo, which makes him even more evil, hence more deserving of Arya's poisoned oysters, or however she'll do him in. Those bits were in character for all, and made sense.

What didn't make sense is the rest of the episode.

[lancerman]

Ok and what about Edric Storm? Or was that just okay because he was a bastard?

Stannis killed his brother, was going to kill his nephew. Both things that involved Melisandre and her witchcraft and were all in service of getting the Iron Throne.

If there is one character in all of GRRM's work were it is ENTIRELY CONSISTANT that he would off one of his immediate family for Melisandre because he thought it would help him win the IT it is Stannis "the I just lost all my fannis" Baratheon.

This has been building since we saw all the burnings on Dragonstone, since Stannis killed Renly, since he got pissed at Davos for telling him to ditch Mel at Blackwater, since he had to decide whether to kill Edric Storm, since he was about to kill Davos for saving him.

I get that it was a horrible thing to watch. This is in character and it's been a long time coming.

[Cas Stark]

Yeah, joining the club.

Worst episode 9 out of all five seasons.

LOL. Yep. So, I have them at worst premier episode, worst episode 9, and so if the last episode is the worst ending that makes them 3/3.

They suck.

[rosehustle1]

This is what I'm wondering, Shireen is burned in the books but does Stannis actually order it? Did Dumb and Dumber state that specifically?

[Cas Stark]

And, so much for the idea that Olly wasn't going stabby. He's going to be a stabbin fool.

[kissdbyfire]

Why is everyone freaking out about this blog post?

And they really could have used some music during Shireen's death... I mean, it did not feel sad at all...

So I guess the EP9 climax streak has finally fucked up.

Huh? Who is freaking out? I said it was an interesting read, and it is.

"For all of you who are enjoying OUTLANDER, the marvelous adaptation of Diana Gabaldon's time travel novels that just finished its first season on STARZ... well, the show is terrific, but the books are even better (as is so often the case)"

[ColdBenDaario NaStarkHands]

Btw, Tyrion goes from Volantis to VALYRIA to Meereen and has time for some fireside chats with Dany, but Mace only JUST NOW gets to Braavos?

Gee-o-graph-y? What is gee-o-graph-y?

D & D only do geography when it's a way to implicate Lora's in gay sex via birthmark.

[kimim]

Why in hell didn't Jon announce the pretty crucial fact that the white walkers are coming and they're going to be a bitch to fight? Why were his first words not "The fucking wights are coming! Get the obsidian! Valyrian steel works, too"? Why was he hangdog over failing to save everyone? Oh my god, the stupidity.

[Nymeria's pup]

Still seems that the unsullied are not the amazing fighting force they are supposed to be. Where were all of them any way? They have been a disappointment this season.

[Scrambled Aegon]

Pretty sure it goes without saying what upset me in this episode and why.

Also, criiinge @ St. Tyrion saying he thinks there's too much death in the world and people mix up ought/is. Yeah okay tell that to silver tongue

[Northbound3.0]

Why is everyone freaking out about this blog post?

And they really could have used some music during Shireen's death... I mean, it did not feel sad at all...

So I guess the EP9 climax streak has finally fucked up.

Because it's more or less, Martin, giving a big "fuck you" to D&D. In one of threads earlier, before it got locked, I posted an opinion. It firmly believe Martin and D&D do not have much of a happy working relationship anymore.

[Follmann]

And, so much for the idea that Olly wasn't going stabby. He's going to be a stabbin fool.

Being D&D, I'm surprised he didn't spend the whole season visibly sharpening some knives.

[Florina Laufeyson]

Trant as a pedo is a thing because Arya is gonna do the Mercy ploy next week. Hes being composited into Raff the Sweetling who wanted to get into Arya's clam. Its gross, but i totally see why they made Trant the guy for this particular move.

As for what i hated, Shireen obviously. D&D just love to be on my shit list. Oh boy. If i ever meet them in real life, im going to go Areo Hotah and clock them.

Speaking of Areo Hotah, he was the only good thing about Dorne all season.

Why didnt Dany have her whip?