A discussion of eating and enjoying food

[Quorra]

When I was a child, in my father's home (this sounds like the start of a real olde-timey yarn I'm 'bout to spin, y'all, so set a spell) we had strict table manners. I had to eat everything on my plate and say "yes sir" and "may I be excused" and I had to remain still from the waist down during meals. Because he could tell if I was swinging my legs and he'd whack them if I did.

But then my mom left him and we moved away and she got really lax with discipline and even though I'm glad I didn't have to keep living in such a strict household, I kind of wish I had kept up some of the discipline our father had drilled into us. He was harsh and too strict, but he did teach us manners. I'm just not sure how much I held onto.

Have you ever been eating something spicy and it's so spicy that you start to eat it faster, just shoveling it in, with little breaths in between, as if the wind created by your inhaling of the food would somehow cool you down?

Have you ever been eating something kind of messy, drippy, maybe falling apart in your hands like a chicken salad sandwich on a croissant, and instead of delicately putting it down and reassembling it or transitioning to a fork for the remains and the fallout, you just grab with both hands and shove the entire mess into your pie hole all at once?

Have you ever been eating some crackers or popcorn or something crumbly, or some chips and salsa, and you drop some of it and without hesitation reach down and pick it up and eat it without checking to make sure it was actually what you dropped, or even food - but then you just swallow it anyway because you don't want to think more about it?

No? Yeah, me neither ...um. I just, my friend does those things. Yeah, My friend. Jenny. Jenny Keyboard. I mean, Keyboard Smith, Jenny Keyboard-Smith. She got remarried. She's so silly.

[Dr. Pepper]

Not trying to be a snark or an asshole, but none of this really has to do with table manners. I mean, the stuff about what your dad taught you isn't really table manners. It has more to do with control and tends to lead to behaviors that your, um, 'friend' now engage in as an adult.

[aceluby]

I lol'd. Nothing to add other than that.

[Dr. Pepper]

Is there some sort of inside joke here that I'm missing? Because this really doesn't seem funny at all and the first thread title and now this updated one doesn't match at all what's being written. I mean, obviously the father's behavior wasn't the sort thought of as instilling table manners. It's aggressive and seems a bit abusive. The rest of it has nothing to do with enjoying food, as it appears like compulsive overeating behaviors. At the very least, it's simply an instruction manual for gas and indigestion. I guess farting and burping can be funny in context? Heartburn, not so much.

[HexMachina]

Is there some sort of inside joke here that I'm missing? Because this really doesn't seem funny at all and the first thread title and now this updated one doesn't match at all what's being written. I mean, obviously the father's behavior wasn't the sort thought of as instilling table manners. It's aggressive and seems a bit abusive. The rest of it has nothing to do with enjoying food, as it appears like compulsive overeating behaviors. At the very least, it's simply an instruction manual for gas and indigestion. I guess farting and burping can be funny in context? Heartburn, not so much.

We seem to be crossing a bridge and have been ambushed by a troll. Or that's how I take this anyway.

[Quorra]

Oh, so you guys never do that stuff? I guess Jenny's just a slob.

But you tell me that if you were seated across from me snd and I was eating like that, you wouldn't think those were bad manners?

[Quorra]

Helena, Dr. P. I have a confession. It's about Jenny Keyboard-Smith and who she really is. She's me.

Now can we get back on topic? Why you derailing my thread?

[deleted01]

Why do you keep posting inane threads? Maybe it's just me, but your OP made very little sense. :dunno:

[straits]

I liked the OP, but the first two paragraphs have little to do with the rest of it. Can we re-do?

[Dr. Pepper]

Oh, so you guys never do that stuff? I guess Jenny's just a slob.

But you tell me that if you were seated across from me snd and I was eating like that, you wouldn't think those were bad manners?

Table manners are subjective. If you were across from me eating like that, I'd probably be most concerned with your mental and physical health and less concerned with whether or not you passed the salt when requested.

Helena, Dr. P. I have a confession. It's about Jenny Keyboard-Smith and who she really is. She's me.

Now can we get back on topic? Why you derailing my thread?

What's the topic? Mental health? Parental abuse? Divorce? Compulsive eating? Legitimacy of five second rule when alone? Excessive creation of inane threads? Being a troll?

[Quorra]

I thought we could see where it goes. Feel it out.

[Tears of Lys]

I snickered.

I think Quorra just wanted to tell us some silly stuff he/she does and mistakenly put it under the title of "manners."

Would you guys have understood and joined in if he/she would have titled the thread "Disgusting Eating Habits"? Or no. How about "Unsafe Eating Habits" or "Eating Habits Designed to Lead to Acid Reflux"?

[all swedes are racist]

3/10.

[Solmyr]

As a person, who eats his chips(american meaning of the word) with a fork, this thread makes little sense to me.

[peterbound]

Ugh. I'm loath to add to this.

However, I dislike rude people. It's very simple to have good manners, and goes a long way. If it's really you, get yourself together and try to act like a fucking adult.

[Unlady B]

I eat like a pig, and I'm not ashamed. I've seend worse, and I don't care.

There's more shame in wasting food than in how on earth you eat it...

[Quorra]

Why do you keep posting inane threads? Maybe it's just me, but your OP made very little sense. :dunno:

What do you mean "keep posting"? My inanity is perfectly calibrated for efficiency.

[Quorra]

Ugh. I'm loath to add to this.

However, I dislike rude people. It's very simple to have good manners, and goes a long way. If it's really you, get yourself together and try to act like a fucking adult.

I'm not trying to start anything here but, how is it you don't see anything odd about saying you dislike rude people when you've often made some quite brusque and dismissive comments, and not just here with the deliverance of "try to act like a fucking adult." which is a phrase I can't seem to find in my copy of Emily Post.

[peterbound]

I'm not trying to start anything here but, how is it you don't see anything odd about saying you dislike rude people when you've often made some quite brusque and dismissive comments, and not just here with the deliverance of "try to act like a fucking adult." which is a phrase I can't seem to find in my copy of Emily Post.

I'm blunt. There's a difference.

Although I think you'd struggle to understand it.

[Quorra]

I'm blunt. There's a difference.

Although I think you'd struggle to understand it.

Hey, Emily Blunt, I AM an adult, just because I fell asleep in a puddle of ice cream on the kitchen floor, it doesn't mean I don't have it together. It was fancy ice cream in one of those little small little containers. Tell me that's not adult. Besides, I was watching adult movies on my phone while eating it. What's not adult about that you tell me.