Fashion thread: updating classics

[Tears of Lys]

Good grief, Datepalm.    I'm very bummed that you are experiencing some of the bad things so soon of our lovely country (which is, I promise you, generally lovely, but has some bad things, of course, too.)  

If you weren't on the opposite side of the map, I'd love to drive you around to some proper shopping AND give you handy tips too!  (that last link? No.)   As it is, I'm absolutely good for nothing but moral/morale support. 

Oh, and I Googled "Women's Business Casual" too.  I must have landed on the same grotesque and schizophrenic group of pictures you did, because I ended up with that same image, which was one of hundreds of wildly divergent and inappropriate examples. 

 

[Lily Valley]

On 10/26/2016 at 5:59 AM, Xray the Enforcer said:

Nope. This would not be OK in any of the academic conferences I've attended (yea verily, even as a broke grad student). Gotta invest in some decent trousers and shoes. I do not think you will need a blazer/jacket, provided that the shirt and sweater are business-appropriate. 

I am so glad I'm in physics.  Jeans and a sweater over a collared shirt or a polo shirt are both appropriate for both work and conferences, unless I am presenting.  I'll only dress up to present since there are usually women from business or administration in the audience and they wouldn't approve of my jeans.  The other scientists won't give a damn.   My boss is a man and he NEVER gets out of his jeans and t-shirt.  

 Since you're networking, just get a knee length skirt to go with your sweater and button down shirt. I hate shopping too.  Good luck!

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

Does anyone know if it’s possible to repair/or if shoe polish or leather dye would work on repairing/covering up badly scuffed leather shoes?

 

I was walking in my new(ish) leather pumps, my only nice black dress shoes, and took a pretty good fall.  I scuffed up the top of the shoes pretty badly, and I’m quite sad about it.  They were so comfortable, and I could wear them with pants or skirts.  They’re a bit more expensive than I would normally pay for shoes, but I actually got them for free (the husband works for Clark’s and he gets 2 free pairs of shoes a year, and often gets the 2^nd free pair for me)

 

My plan is to try shoe polish this weekend, but I thought I’d ask here first.

 

(btw, I only ended up with a badly skinned knee, a bruised hand, and my already sore back and leg muscles were even more sore, and I cracked (smashed really) the screen on my phone. Nothing too serious, given how bad it could have been, and all but the knee is doing better today)

[Whitestripe]

Lany
Glad you were not seriously injured. Since the shoes are black, the polish may work.

And as an aside, besides conferences, people in  my academic department rarely dress up here either. We have a candidate on campus for a new choral director. None of the faculty dressed up at all. The chair was even wearing her workout gear.

[Inigima]

2 hours ago, Lany Freelove Cassandra said:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to repair/or if shoe polish or leather dye would work on repairing/covering up badly scuffed leather shoes?

 

I was walking in my new(ish) leather pumps, my only nice black dress shoes, and took a pretty good fall.  I scuffed up the top of the shoes pretty badly, and I’m quite sad about it.  They were so comfortable, and I could wear them with pants or skirts.  They’re a bit more expensive than I would normally pay for shoes, but I actually got them for free (the husband works for Clark’s and he gets 2 free pairs of shoes a year, and often gets the 2^nd free pair for me)

 

My plan is to try shoe polish this weekend, but I thought I’d ask here first.

 

(btw, I only ended up with a badly skinned knee, a bruised hand, and my already sore back and leg muscles were even more sore, and I cracked (smashed really) the screen on my phone. Nothing too serious, given how bad it could have been, and all but the knee is doing better today)

Shoe polish can sometimes repair scuffs if they're not too bad, but make sure you get actual shoe polish, which means the stuff in the tin. It's waxy and may be able to fill in damaged areas. The stuff in the applicator bottle with the foam pad is not proper shoe polish and will not work.

As I recall you were military and probably don't need instructions for polishing, but if you need any help, I and probably others can advise.

EDIT: Clarks are awesome. Not the fanciest shoes, but I loved my loafers. They were super comfortable and lasted a long time and I think they looked damn good for the money. Unfortunately I hate all of the styles they're currently offering.

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

Thank you both.   The largest of the scuffs might be too bad, but I'll certainly give it a try.

Yes, I remember how to polish shoes  (of course I'm not sure of the ability...seems I'm not as skilled at a lot of things as I once was...like walking)

[Iskaral Pust]

If scuffs are too deep for polish, good leather shoes can be refinished.  It's like sanding down the leather and then reconditioning the surface.  Allen Edmonds does it for their shoes for general prolonging of their life.  After a decade you get the shoes refinished almost like new.

Ask a cobbler, if such a thing even exists anymore, if they can do it.  Shouldn't be too expensive to refinish just the scuffs. 

[Inigima]

That's good advice but I can't really imagine refinishing Clarks. They're great for the money but they aren't, like, last-you-forever shoes. I can't imagine it would be cost-effective versus the price of a new pair.

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

I think only the gouge on the right toe is too bad for the polish.  I will see if I can find a cobbler look at it. I can't imagine it costing too much for the one small area. (The shoes were $80, which may not be much to most in this thread, but for me, it is a lot)

From a distance, they don't look too bad (they are at least wearable, and that means I can wear my pants that are too long for my low heeled boots)

eta: it is really hard to get a good picture of shoes

[Iskaral Pust]

Lany -- that's not too bad.  Have you tried a stick of colored wax?  Home Depot and similar sell them for fixing scratches and gouges in wood finishes.  You just rub it on and it has more weight/substance than polish to fill the gouge.  You'll probably need to reapply every so often but it's an inexpensive fix. 

[Tears of Lys]

19 hours ago, Lany Freelove Cassandra said:

I think only the gouge on the right toe is too bad for the polish.  I will see if I can find a cobbler look at it. I can't imagine it costing too much for the one small area. (The shoes were $80, which may not be much to most in this thread, but for me, it is a lot)

From a distance, they don't look too bad (they are at least wearable, and that means I can wear my pants that are too long for my low heeled boots)

eta: it is really hard to get a good picture of shoes

You did a great job, Lany.  Someone would have to look very closely to see the damage.  IOW, they'd have to be **looking** for it before they'd spot it.

FTR, I think $80 is a lot for shoes too.  I'm terribly hard on my shoes, so paying over a hundred bucks or so on them doesn't make sense.  I often walk on city streets that haven't been maintained as they should - they're generally falling apart with chunks of uneven concrete, plus tiptoeing over air grates, etc. - and high heels especially get thrashed.  (And, yes, for those who wonder why I don't carry my pretty shoes and just wear sneakers, I carry enough stuff as it is.  One more thing WOULD break this camel's back.)

Today, however, I'm wearing a snazzy pair of pointy-toed flats in a leopard haircalf material.  Form AND function!

[Iskaral Pust]

 I wear Nike sneakers as I walk to and from work.  I keep pairs of dress shoes at home and in the office so I don't have to carry any.  Sneakers look wrong with dress pants or a suit but it's only for the 15-20 minutes that I'm walking each way and it prolongs the life of my expensive shoes and is much more comfortable for walking.  I just wish I could do the same trick when traveling for work but carrying spare shoes would be too bulky for my bag.  I have female colleagues who wear ballet flats on the airplane and then switch to high heels once the flight and airport walking are done, but they use over-sized shoulder bags. 

[Datepalm]

Ballet flats are also a very small-volumed shoe. No real equivelant for men I can think of short of flip flops.

Anyway I chime in to report that planning can apparently safely join physics as an academic discipline in which JEANS ARE OK at a conference. On the other hand, I was really pleased with the ankle boots/tights/knee length A-Line black skirt getup I had yesterday thanks to board encouragement (and courtesy of the thrift shops of Seattle,) so a win both ways.

Or, as an Israeli professor I ran into explained, and I think I will take this: men can't wear jeans to a conference*, women can wear whatever they want - with the right shoes and jewellery.

*plenty are.

[Targarien21]

What do you guys think about the skinny jeans on men? I noticed that this trend became very popular through the last several years, especially among youth and teenagers This jeans has a lot of interesting design ideas, like on these pics http://stylemann.com/best-mens-skinny-jeans/ for example but in my opinion such type of pants is really for the young people...
Anyway some elder men wear them too and whta do you think, is it stylish or just looks funny on them? One my friend says that it's not a good type of clothes for a man at all

[Datepalm]

Clothes. There is no point to this, it is just thoughts, because I've been trying to deal with clothes and dress more...better? femeniner? cuter? attractiver? grownuper? Beats me, just moving away from my tendency to dress like a teenage lumberjack. I have sighed over many a rack of second-hand over-sized men's plaid flannel shirts in shades of brown over the past months...and walked away, albeit ocassionally looking wistfully back. I also threw out about five garbage-bags worth of clothes, and probably a bit more to come, (leaving a mere 3 flannel plaid shirts, one of them womens!) including the last of my commune-uniform shirts. (Of course, I've thought that before, they keep turning up) and all the old trench coats I picked up next to garabage skips (except the one I like and wear) and the things that have holes in them and the velvet vest things (I don't know why I have multiples of those) and so on. (Up next: my sock drawer to not contain any 5.56 calibre magazines! But I need to wait for the army to run one of those things where they let you drop off the stuff you nicked and don't ask you questions.)

What worries me is that i've done this before, and not too long ago. How did I manage to since pick up 6 bags worth of stuff that I don't like? Why is it so hard to stick to this? It's like going to the gym, where you know it's a good idea, and you know you'll feel good for doing it, and even the actual experience will lilkely be enjoyable, but theres this inertia of dragging yourself there. And this just involves what I put on in the morning. It doesn't involve gooing anywhere! I'm not dressing in a more complicated or uncofortable way (possibly the opposite) and actually have clothes I look forward to wearing. And not really veering towards more revealing, say, which I could think would make me more self-conscious and uncomfortable or something. Just...better organized. I can't figure out why putting on a not-very-short skirt and a not-very-tight sweater this morning required overcoming a slight barrier in a way baggy jeans and a flannel shirt over the sweater wouldn't have. Habit? Psychology? Politics? Hm.

At least its winterish. Summer would be harder.

 

[Iskaral Pust]

@Datepalm

What's the ask here?  You want to dress differently -- less like a teenage lumberjack -- but you feel an innate resistance or reluctance when you go to dress each morning?  There are a lot of possible reasons.  I don't want to be an armchair psychologist, especially since your attitude to clothes will be shaped by a different culture and gender to mine.

Do you really want to dress differently, or are you just feeling like you should want to?  If the latter, just continue as you are.

If you do really want to dress differently, do you know what you want to dress like? Do you have a clear image of how you wish to look?  Do you know how to achieve that look?  Lots of people want to change their style but don't know how to do it.  It requires some (embarrassing) research and unfamiliar jargon, and some uncomfortable self-evaluation on whether you can achieve the look you want.  This is all doable.  If this is your stumbling block then invest more effort in learning about this and trying out options.  There is an entire industry devoted to educating you so that you will spend your money.  And then, when you have the right new clothes, pick out what you want to wear the evening before, not that morning.

Bias toward comfortable, practical, unflattering clothes could come from a lot of sources.  You may not feel confident about changing your appearance or expressing yourself because you imagine it will be noticed and judged from a behavioral POV.  You may lack confidence in your appearance.  You may not agree with social norms -- emphasis on the superficial; conformity; male gaze; gender norms; social competition; status signaling; etc, etc -- signaled by older/feminine/attractive dress styles.  You might worry that failing in an attempt to look cool/stylish is even worse than not attempting it -- it signals desperation or piteous aspiration.  You might not feel like there's anyone for whom you want to make the effort (I know lots of people who don't dress to impress strangers or coworkers, and will happily live in sweat pants until they're in a situation where they care what someone thinks of their appearance).  And the list could go on and on.  If your stumbling block is in this area, then buying the right clothes won't change your comfort with wearing them.  Some self-examination would help.  You don't need to change any of these things, but you need to resolve your conflicting desires.

[Buckwheat]

Datepalm, I sometimes understand you on a very deep level.

I have a formal event to attend and I have a dress* for it (even if it does not suit me that well as that model ... oh screw it. Scratch that. There is some more width to me than to this model, but I do not look half bad in that dress. I do not let myself be put down by unrealistic beauty standards and fashion industry. Take that, self-doubt!   ) I want to wear something over it though, like a bolero/vest thingy to cover at least my shoulders and upper arms. It was suggested to me that lace for example would do, and I agree with it ... only firstly, I visited like half of the shops at Mariahilfer (I do not like shopping online, I want to try things on before I decide on them) and did not find anything similar, and secondly, after googling "lace bolero", what I got was this, and I really really do not want to look like I am getting married. Soooo ... I guess what I am asking is, is the idea too "bride-ish"? What are other options? What colour can I combine a black dress with in order not to look like I am going to a funeral? No, the event I am going to is neither a wedding nor a funeral. Why is women's formal wear traditionally so cold-weather-incompatible (it is going to be December!)?

*I got it for a way less money than even the "permanently reduced" price on that site says. Only now I see what great luck I had.

[Datepalm]

Oh god that 'lace bolero' search is horrid. How about a shawl? (It can be lacy) Adds a bit of warmth, and you can have it be very covery-up or not at all so (or lose it entirely) throughout the evening depending on your mood. (I'd also argue that you can wear it as is without any extras...it's a high neckline - with a big detail bow thing - and wide straps!)

@Iskaral Pust You're right, there's not really a question in there, just thinking out loud. I work through stuff by writing about it, even more than talking, I guess. I was a little thrown by how hard I found the whole dressing up for the conference thing. I'm not much of a clothes person, sure, but it shouldn't be that hard to pick, acquire and wear three odd items of clothing in a slightly different dress code than I'm used to. That's just a different way of being neurotic and over-occupied with dress, which I don't like. It also meets my general efforts to clean my act up a bit and move on from a lot of the practices and habits that have defined my life/personality since high-school and I'm feeling rather jaded about. You're also perfectly right that there's some personal baggage there that needs to be handled. (Advice i've been getting this week on putting together everything from my outfit to my grad school applications.)

So here I am, trying to handle some of it by wearing a skirt (again!) and not trying to hide that I have a waist. And examining the resulting mix of feelings, which are presently one-third each  "Hey I think I look, like, nice", "It's a normal day, why am I dressed in a costume?" and "Argh this is horrible I must look like a piteous clown person where's my giant sweater?" I'm not entirely sure where this is going to end up - I might go right back to my shapeless comfort zone eventually, but for the moment, I'm making an effort, albeit a slightly confused one. (Can I wear brown shoes with an otherwise black/grey outfit? Was there not a big argument about this?)

[Xray the Enforcer]

Yes, you can totally wear brown shoes with a black/grey outfit. I do this frequently. It really comes down to the details -- the socks/tights, any jewelry or other accessories, style of shoe, etc. I also tend to look at tones -- is something cool-toned or warm-toned, and will reject/use based on that. All of this said, my personal style would probably make more traditional people take to their fainting couches -- I live in NYC and I work in a field where standing out is an important skill to develop. (unless you stand out because you don't bathe frequently, which is bad.)

[Buckwheat]

10 hours ago, Datepalm said:

Oh god that 'lace bolero' search is horrid. How about a shawl? (It can be lacy) Adds a bit of warmth, and you can have it be very covery-up or not at all so (or lose it entirely) throughout the evening depending on your mood. (I'd also argue that you can wear it as is without any extras...it's a high neckline - with a big detail bow thing - and wide straps!)

Yeah, I might wear it if the event was a fancy evening party, but as it is a ceremony at the university during the day, I would prefer something over my shoulders.