TerraPrime Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 That's a pretty ass way to handle the arrangement, on her part, LFiTA. Sorry you have to be the recipient of that poor judgement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch-MaesterPhilip Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Sorry to hear it Littlefinger, you deserve better than that. I hope things work out Ace. I'm getting drinks with a former coworker of my sisters on Saturday night. I'm kinda of nervous about it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Turns out Firefly Girl didn't ghost me after all. She contacted me yesterday and we texted over 8 hours or so... I'm waiting for her to suggest a date, since she was the one who cancelled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Went out for a drink with a former coworker last night who I've always had kind of a thing for, which led to a pitcher of drinks, and then a second pitcher of drinks, then a game of pool, then a couple more drinks, and long story short we ended up blind drunk on her front porch making out until 2AM, at which point I saw her safely up her stairs and then I staggered home. Txted her today to see if she was feeling OK and she says she I was so drunk she can't remember anything we did, which may be true or may just be a way to try to erase what happened from history. I'm supposed to see her again tomorrow with some friends, so I guess we'll see how that goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I found out because the boyfriend texted me from her phone while she was sleeping to reveal who she was. And all she had to say was "sorry you had to find out this way" Lita, that is ass. Not the good kind. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aceluby Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Turns out Firefly Girl didn't ghost me after all. She contacted me yesterday and we texted over 8 hours or so... I'm waiting for her to suggest a date, since she was the one who cancelled. If you texted her for that long and she hasn't set up a date, I'd go ahead and just do it yourself. I've tried the 'waiting for them to set up a date after a cancel' before and found it rarely works. From advice here (thanks hive-mind) I would send out a couple dates and see if any of them work for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raja Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 That's rather unfortunate, LITA. On my end - tired of going on OKC dates where I leave feeling very 'meh' about the whole thing. I find that I'm going through the motions. I think I'll give it a break for a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Txted her today to see if she was feeling OK and she says she I was so drunk she can't remember anything we did, which may be true or may just be a way to try to erase what happened from history. I'm supposed to see her again tomorrow with some friends, so I guess we'll see how that goes. Ambiguous situation is ambiguous. Hope things clear up one way or another for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 If you texted her for that long and she hasn't set up a date, I'd go ahead and just do it yourself. I've tried the 'waiting for them to set up a date after a cancel' before and found it rarely works. From advice here (thanks hive-mind) I would send out a couple dates and see if any of them work for her. Yeah... maybe. I'm getting less enthused with making dates more than a few hours away. Spontaneous hang out is my preference. Everything else leads to too much overthinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Went out for a drink with a former coworker last night who I've always had kind of a thing for, which led to a pitcher of drinks, and then a second pitcher of drinks, then a game of pool, then a couple more drinks, and long story short we ended up blind drunk on her front porch making out until 2AM, at which point I saw her safely up her stairs and then I staggered home. Txted her today to see if she was feeling OK and she says she I was so drunk she can't remember anything we did, which may be true or may just be a way to try to erase what happened from history. I'm supposed to see her again tomorrow with some friends, so I guess we'll see how that goes. Urgh, I hate that. I've had a similar situation going on with a friend for months, I'm torn between just (wo)manning up and asking him directly and the easier path of just letting it go and pretending I too do not remember. On another note, a guy I know from a previous job and have gone for drinks with a couple of times texted me last week to set up drinks, I told him I was out of town but we should do it this week and he said fine. Texted him about it on Tuesday saying I was free tonight or Thursday and he replied that he's busy assisting with a course (the place we worked does human rights training courses for diplomats, defence people etc.) and was going to be out to dinner with them Tuesday and Thursday and needed a night in on Wednesday. He didn't suggest any other times, so I can't decide if I just got the brush-off or not. What kind of twenty-something needs a night off to recover after dinner with a bunch of middle-aged Taiwanese diplomats? I get being busy, but surely if he wanted to see me he would just have suggested another time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Maybe he just really wants to stay in and watch the finale of Mr. Robot tonight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Urgh, I hate that. I've had a similar situation going on with a friend for months, I'm torn between just (wo)manning up and asking him directly and the easier path of just letting it go and pretending I too do not remember. Just ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Urgh, I hate that. I've had a similar situation going on with a friend for months, I'm torn between just (wo)manning up and asking him directly and the easier path of just letting it go and pretending I too do not remember. On another note, a guy I know from a previous job and have gone for drinks with a couple of times texted me last week to set up drinks, I told him I was out of town but we should do it this week and he said fine. Texted him about it on Tuesday saying I was free tonight or Thursday and he replied that he's busy assisting with a course (the place we worked does human rights training courses for diplomats, defence people etc.) and was going to be out to dinner with them Tuesday and Thursday and needed a night in on Wednesday. He didn't suggest any other times, so I can't decide if I just got the brush-off or not. What kind of twenty-something needs a night off to recover after dinner with a bunch of middle-aged Taiwanese diplomats? I get being busy, but surely if he wanted to see me he would just have suggested another time? I recommend Womanning up to the first part. As to the other, "Good Luck on your presentations, shoot me a text when you're free next." It does feel a little bit like a brush off, but just in case it wasn't the aforementioned text gives the option of him to follow-up (could just be super busy) and lets you leave it alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Yeah, I would definitely be interpreting it as a brush off if he hadn't been the one to reach out in the first place. I just sent back 'okay, no worries' and left it at that. Womanning up would also be my own advice to myself, but it's one of those things which is very easy to say and much harder to do :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Arryn Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Y'all overthink this shit too much. If feelings made sense, we'd call them thoughts. Do what you want, and give up the illusion of attainable control. If you're acting unnaturally because it fits in better with social norms, you're ether setting yourself up for failure or for an extended period of behaving unnaturaly. If you want to know something, ask. Days/weeks/months of angst-ridden wonder are the definition of wasted time/energy. He/she's just anothe flawed person. Just do it. Failure and pain are inevitable, but at least you'll trust yourself to try the next time, meaning the healing time will be much quicker. If you agonize for long periods of time before trying, that's just loading up the pain load and healing time if/when things don't work out. Also, if possible try and avoid workplace romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Tiger Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Yeah, I would definitely be interpreting it as a brush off if he hadn't been the one to reach out in the first place. I just sent back 'okay, no worries' and left it at that. Womanning up would also be my own advice to myself, but it's one of those things which is very easy to say and much harder to do :P But just imagine how badass you will feel for actually doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Ambiguous situation is ambiguous. Hope things clear up one way or another for you.She begged off the movie last night, but indicated she'd want to go to our next Movie Night, but then has not responded to my query re: her schedule. Ambiguous situation continues to be ambiguous, but shading slightly towards unpromising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 She begged off the movie last night, but indicated she'd want to go to our next Movie Night, but then has not responded to my query re: her schedule. Ambiguous situation continues to be ambiguous, but shading slightly towards unpromising. Yeah, it does feel like she is formulating on how to beg off, but still remain friends and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Mandy, this is when you suddenly get bombarded. Choose wisely. Have fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 As I am currently out on second date, ambiguity leaning very hard towards promising. This has a ton of potential. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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