Dating: Matchmakers, dealbreakers and affairs, oh my!

[karaddin]

DP - Having been in the situation of really needing to open up, and it really helping when I finally did I just wanted to say that really does get easier the more you do it. Eventually I stopped feeling weak (not saying that's why you haven't beforehand, but it was one reason for me) and now I feel my openness and almost radical vulnerability are a sign of strength and health. Figuring out the dating stuff... That's harder, but certain elements of it do get easier. I find the fear of taking a leap and disclosing interest incredibly thrilling now, but the fear is absolutely still there and part of it. I've learnt so much about myself through the mirror of connection with other people.

But trying to guage interest in the first place can still suck. Unless you get a girl staring at your boobs at the work Xmas party while noting your name, that one seemed pretty clear even if it's very unlikely to go anywhere.

[Aniel]

I cut 33 cm off of my hair yesterday. Prior to the cut it was 90 cm cause I'm trying to get it to 100, but it looked like shit with split ends and stuff so I went and had it cut. I told my SO "you've never seen me with hair this short" and after he saw the pictures all he said was "It looks about as long as I remember it being"... As it is now it doesn't even reach the end of my ribcage, which it did last time I cut off a lot of it. Argh, he's a meanie.

But I'm going to visit him on the 22nd! For an entire month! It's been a year since we saw each other, because neither one of us had money for a visit during the summer, and I was busy getting a job. I've probably said this already. I don't have a christmas present for him though ._. I had two ideas, but one I couldn't get, and the other one it turns out he's already got one on the way (a backpack, his broke. I'm sure the one I wanted to get him would last longer than the one he's getting though...). He's said just to give him money for Christmas and I'll probably end up doing that since virtually anything I might want to get him would take like a week to ship and I obviously don't have that time. So he's a double meanie for ruining two prospective gifts. But he's getting me a fancy fountain pen, so I guess it's fine... (He likes knowing what he's getting, so of course he told me what he's getting for me.)