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redtree

Best and Worst Husband in ASOIAF series

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But how is that making him a better husband and not a worse one? Sure, Cat won´t have a burden to bear but she doesn´t know that. Instead she is angry about Ned´s bastard, which cause her unhappiness. You don´t get husband-points for taking a decision for your partner in order to protect her if she doesn´t want to be protected in  the first place. 

In short, if you want to ensure that your wife is not an accomplice you are responsible for eventual unhappiness stemming from such a choice - don´t handwaive that consequence away. 

You are bending over backwards to try and justify your logic. 

It isn't working. 

The simple fact is that a single blemish is just that- a single blemish. Catelyn still loved him with all her heart, he still loved her, they raised five wonderful children together (or four wonderful children and Rickon), and the Stark household at the start of Game seems practically idyllic. If that is not a happy marriage, made possible by a great husband, then there is no such thing.

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You are bending over backwards to try and justify your logic. 

It isn't working. 

The simple fact is that a single blemish is just that- a single blemish. Catelyn still loved him with all her heart, he still loved her, they raised five wonderful children together (or four wonderful children and Rickon), and the Stark household at the start of Game seems practically idyllic. If that is not a happy marriage, made possible by a great husband, then there is no such thing.

Ehhm, I´m not bending anything. I am motivating my logic (isn´t that what we are supposed to do - explaining the reason for our opinions?) - it is obviously already justified in my mind. Otherwise I wouldn´t think the way I do. Too bad you don´t agree on that logic but at least I´m trying to do more than just saying "It is so because I think so" (which would be true, but very unhelpful). 

A single blemish is indeed only a single blemish, but it´s still a blemish. People need to stop pretending that this blemish doesn´t exist. A happy marriage is not the same thing as best husband in Westeros. There are most likely many happy marriages in Westeros where the husband is doing a better job. 

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But how is that making him a better husband and not a worse one? Sure, Cat won´t have a burden to bear but she doesn´t know that. Instead she is angry about Ned´s bastard, which cause her unhappiness. You don´t get husband-points for taking a decision for your partner in order to protect her if she doesn´t want to be protected in  the first place. 

In short, if you want to ensure that your wife is not an accomplice you are responsible for eventual unhappiness stemming from such a choice - don´t handwaive that consequence away. 

Given a choice between making my wife a traitor, or making her unhappy, I'd probably go for the former.

But, I agree there is a good counter-argument.  Perhaps, if you truly love someone, that is a secret you should share with them.

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Does that make Selyse the best wife in Westeros?

It does not count in your favor when you're the one being put up with. 

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I rather like Stannis as a character but he isn't really the best husband material in Westeros. Selyse isn't the greatest person but I'm sure she hoped for husband that had hair, a winning personality, didn't call her "Woman", or bark at her and took her to court occasionally. It is okay for him not to be attracted to Selyse but a little kindness and respect might have gone a long way in that marriage. Plus even Jon Snow who is at the Wall and knows nothing is aware that Mel is 'Stannis' true Queen.'

I totally understand why Ned didn't tell Catelyn about Jon but I do think he could have handled it better. He installed Jon in the nursery without even talking to Cat and downright scared her when she timidly asked about Jon's mother. One of the few times Ned pulled rank in the marriage and acted like a bad Westerosi husband.

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