[Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Reprecussions - Season 6, Tally-Ho

[Crixus]

Ah, sorry, misunderstood.

[Mister Stoneheart]

Something that is very telling is a chart of who speaks the most lines in any given episode.  I believe it had the top 50 entries for lines spoken in any given episode by any one character in the tv adaptation.

The first 25 or so entries were men, with maybe 1 cersei and 1 dany thrown in.  The last 10 were where most of the women (40-50) showed up (dany, cersei and one catelyn).  I think the breakdown was about 90% male 10% female in the top 50 speakers.

Any surprise?

Now when you read Martin's books, isn't the number closer to 50%-50%?  I'd even skew it 45% male 55% female with the P.O.V.s that get inside a lot of the women's heads.

Game of Bros!!!!

[sweetsunray]

9 minutes ago, Mister Stoneheart said:

Something that is very telling is a chart of who speaks the most lines in any given episode.  I believe it had the top 50 entries for lines spoken in any given episode by any one character in the tv adaptation.

The first 25 or so entries were men, with maybe 1 cersei and 1 dany thrown in.  The last 10 were where most of the women (40-50) showed up (dany, cersei and one catelyn).  I think the breakdown was about 90% male 10% female in the top 50 speakers.

Any surprise?

Now when you read Martin's books, isn't the number closer to 50%-50%?  I'd even skew it 45% male 55% female with the P.O.V.s that get inside a lot of the women's heads.

Game of Bros!!!!

Seems like in GOT the men are the chitters and chatterers, talking and talking.

[Toth]

I might have mentioned a couple of days ago that someone had PM'd me and invited me to a Game of Thrones roleplaying game after reading one of my rants. The very first thing going through my mind upon that was that a Game of Thrones RPG needs to have some severely twisted rulebook to be dramatically satisfying.

You see... I made one:

The GM’s short guide to a Game of Thrones Role Playing Game

 

Welcome fellow fans of pen and paper games. Facing the groundbreaking success of HBO’s shocking hit very loosely based on some pesky books written by some old fat guy, it becomes inevitable that you and your gaming group want to take part in that epic adventure. Therefore we proudly present you this short rulebook for creating your own adventures in the grim darkness of Benioff and Weiss’ vision.

 

Character Creation

 

Male Characters

Upon first inspection there isn’t much of a difference between male Weisseroffi characters and those of any other fantasy setting. Even if said fantasy setting contains physics-defying Damage Dealers wielding two greatswords at once, there will always be some showpologist around to claim how realistic that is. No, the true uniqueness of Weisseroff is the way it genders basic traits and rewards (or punishes) you for condoning to its stereotypes. Male characters therefore come with a small set of bonus rules buffing or debuffing you for your actions.

 

A real man is a killer

If Game of Thrones taught us one thing, it is that being manly means to kill some chump and brag about it. Extra points if you share you depressingly nihilistic world view with any NPC you encounter. An ‘unblooded’ character has -1 on all skills and -5 on his charisma, only for this to reverse as he gets his first kill into +1 on all skills and +5 on charisma.

A real man is not a virgin

Instantly buffs all your stats by +2 as soon as you get laid and temporary buffs them by further +1 for an hour each time you brag about it. But keep in mind, that goes only for true Weisseroffi characters. The Pornishmen have to keep up a reputation after all, debuffing each stat by -2 for every day you didn’t get it going. So keep living the Pornish life or do you want to end up as a Weak Man™? For refuting those silly notions, you will be rewarded by adding +1 for each time you score. And yes, this stacks... why else do you think Showberyn lived in a brothel?

 

Female Characters

Closely adhering to the idea of gritty realism, Emmy-awarded writers Benioff and Weiss have outdone social scientists by proving that there are indeed just three different moulds for women. If a player is insane enough to enter Weisseroff with a vagina, he has to choose between those three classes.

 

The Seductress

The Seductress is the default class for most sex-workers (regardless of the degree of voluntarism in joining the profession), but it is also recommended for politicians and advisors. As the name suggests, characters get a +5 at seduction and have high base attractiveness ratings. +5 isn’t that much, you say? You are right with that. With only such a tiny increase your Seductress can’t allow herself to be subtle about it. Luckily, due to the advanced rules for men, it doesn’t need much more than popping out your boobs to succeed.

 

The Lesbian

The Lesbian is the dominant female fighter class in Weisseroff. Eschewing all those useless feminine attributed skill, the Lesbian basically works like a very one-dimensional male character. As such, this proud beacon of feminism gains +15 on martial skills and -10 on intelligence. Who needs to remember significant details of her past adventures if she can just smash any feminism debate with a war hammer? Nobody can withstand your progressiveness!

 

The Madonna

If you are truly up for a challenge, the Madonna character really is your thing. She gets a penalty of -15 on all class skills in exchange of looking pretty when raped. This sounds unfair you say? Well, it’s entirely your fault for focusing on those stupid feminine connotated skills. Your dumb bitch also should have appreciated Tyrion more, hah! But rest assured, the Madonna has a rare special ability called “Empowerment through rape”. After you got your first rape by some villain, you can add +1 to your martial skill. This doesn’t do jackshit and you still need to be saved by your menz, but at least you can brag in front of your fellow players that your character is now “boss ass bitch”. Or something.

 

Special Rules

Honor gets you killed

In Weisseroff ‘Honor’ is not static set of things you do or can’t do. In fact it is considered that some cocky youth breaking his betrothal to marry a time-travelling nurse who successfully sass-talked him was somehow regarded as the honorable choice. Therefore honor is basically just applying to everyone who isn’t actively plotting something for whatever reason. In the end, if your character has the ‘honorable’ trait, just take a -2 penalty on every single fucking roll you make.

 

Rule of Author favoritism

Now this can be a little complicated. In the end, it boils down to that every character with “Lannister” as his last name gets +2 on each roll (except Larry, because he is a monster) and +4 if you are a Bolton. Starks get a smashing -3 on each roll by default and yes, this is indeed stacking with the ‘honorable’ penalty. But be careful when you are near characters who are influenced by this rule. Especially Saint Tyrion is prone to suck the storylines of your PCs like a black hole if they happen to come too close to him.

 

Rule of Spatial Teleportation

Weisseroff is a setting with many disadvantages, but there are also a couple of very powerful advantages your characters can make use of. The Rule of Spation Teleportation allows your characters to travel at the speed of plot convenience, covering ridiculous disntances in as little time as you want. Even seemingly unavoidable obstacles created by your GM can be circumvented by ‘going around them’.

 

Rule of Random Character 180s

As a GM in a Game of Thrones campaign you have no obligation to keep any characterization of your characters consistent. Whether you change motivations between campaigns or even between scenes, there are no boundaries for your imagination. You can also foreshadow something and then do the exact opposite, it’s more shocking this way! Remember, GM: Everything makes sense, because you want it to happen!

 

Rule of inherent cattiness

In their seriously professional observation of what their drinking companions think about the interaction between women, D&D came to the logical conclusion that all woman are inherently catty to each other. Therefore whenever two women are interacting in a game (how progressive is that in itself!), they have to apply a -30 charisma penalty, which subsequently makes each conversation devolve into barely contained envy, snark remarks and finally pointless sissy fights. Marvel how much realism is gained by such a simple rule!

 

Revenge is a free action

One of the only remaining themes (as in: of course it had to be added since the fat original author was too busy writing boring character arcs to do so) is that revenge feels pretty damn good. Therefore, whenever you have some vendetta remaining in the air, your PC can just go out of his way to satisfy his desire for misappropriated justice with no karmic repercussions whatsoever. You can even let your fellow PCs down in the most life-threatening situations, but it forbidden for anyone to actually call you out on it. Especially the GM can not interfere. You think this sounds like a mechanic easy to abuse? Well, we don’t pretend it isn’t. If you can convince your GM that it makes total sense for you to avenge someone by murdering their entire family and then take over their county, you have proven to have mastered the unique logic of Weisseroff at play.

[CrastorsLivingSon]

Just posted this thought in a different thread but figured it might bear repeating:

With George having officially released another chapter, I am deciding (entirely because I like the thought) to see it as a big eff you to D$D.  The release isn't that big of a deal as he has read the chapter at past cons.  Just the timing strikes me as "This is how you write a Dornish Plot you wannabe goldman sachs frat boys."  

Or I could just be hopeful that George is that petty to think that way?  I can dream ya?

[Ser Quork]

20 minutes ago, Toth said:

I might have mentioned a couple of days ago that someone had PM'd me and invited me to a Game of Thrones roleplaying game after reading one of my rants. The very first thing going through my mind upon that was that a Game of Thrones RPG needs to have some severely twisted rulebook to be dramatically satisfying.

You see... I made one:

The GM’s short guide to a Game of Thrones Role Playing Game

< snipped amazing stuff>

 

 Where do we play? 

[Ser Quork]

5 minutes ago, CrastorsLivingSon said:

Just posted this thought in a different thread but figured it might bear repeating:

With George having officially released another chapter, I am deciding (entirely because I like the thought) to see it as a big eff you to D$D.  The release isn't that big of a deal as he has read the chapter at past cons.  Just the timing strikes me as "This is how you write a Dornish Plot you wannabe goldman sachs frat boys."  

Or I could just be hopeful that George is that petty to think that way?  I can dream ya?

I think it's the same as when he released the Alayne chapter before the nastiness that was Sansa's Winterhell arc in the show: he's letting us know we won't be getting that travesty in the books. 

[Sir Loin Steak]

19 minutes ago, Toth said:

I might have mentioned a couple of days ago that someone had PM'd me and invited me to a Game of Thrones roleplaying game after reading one of my rants. The very first thing going through my mind upon that was that a Game of Thrones RPG needs to have some severely twisted rulebook to be dramatically satisfying.

You see... I made one:

The GM’s short guide to a Game of Thrones Role Playing Game

[cut purely for length]

Spot on 

[Darkstream]

6 hours ago, Le Cygne said:

Friendly reminder, Carol is a good mom. It's been a while since the episode, just so you know. Carol is a good mom!

 

6 hours ago, OldGimletEye said:

I just wanted to second this. Carol is a really good mom! Like, seriously, she is! I mean that! No really, she's a good mom! No kiddin.

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to disagree with you guys here. I think you misinterperated what D&D are trying to tell us here. Carol is not just a good mother. 

Carol is the Mother. She is literally a goddess. She is the living embodiment of the Seven in the form of the Mother. The all caring, all sacrifising saint of a mother, who's sole purpose is to insure the well being and happiness of her four three  two only remaining childern child.

[Toth]

Ooops, I forgot one of the house rules:

Now I want him dead even more

Since a Game of Thrones campaign is more shocking without being delluded by those pesky books, there are certain ways to shape the gaming group into what the GM values the most. Every player who has admitted to having read the books is banned from rolling any dying saves. Ever.

 

Have I missed anything? Has anyone more ideas what such a rulebook needs?

[Mister Stoneheart]

Perfect!  

[CoddisTheGoddis]

54 minutes ago, Toth said:

 

 

I'd totally play this 

[Cas Stark]

13 minutes ago, Darkstream said:

 

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to disagree with you guys here. I think you misinterperated what D&D are trying to tell us here. Carol is not just a good mother. 

Carol is the Mother. She is literally a goddess. She is the living embodiment of the Seven in the form of the Mother. The all caring, all sacrifising saint of a mother, who's sole purpose is to insure the well being and happiness of her four three  two only remaining childern child.

Quite so.  Saintly Carol is so great a mother that even the HS, who just had her stripped and paraded through the streets like a whore, can't stop extolling her virtues.  LOL.  And, this reminds Tommen of his saintly Tiger Mum, putting him on such an emotional roller coaster that he forgot all about his hot cougar wife, still locked up barefoot in prison.  He doesn't even mention her.

And that is as it should be, the focus needs to remain on Saint Carol, and her trials and tribulations in protecting her children.  Which, best as I can tell, she's failling miserably at said task, but, no matter.  her heart is in the right place, and she'd be doing a lot better if not for the patriarchy thwarting her at every step;

[kissdbyfire]

9 minutes ago, Cas Stark said:

Quite so.  Saintly Carol is so great a mother that even the HS, who just had her stripped and paraded through the streets like a whore, can't stop extolling her virtues.  LOL.  And, this reminds Tommen of his saintly Tiger Mum, putting him on such an emotional roller coaster that he forgot all about his hot cougar wife, still locked up barefoot in prison.  He doesn't even mention her.

And that is as it should be, the focus needs to remain on Saint Carol, and her trials and tribulations in protecting her children. kid son. Which, best as I can tell, she's failling miserably at said task, but, no matter.  her heart is in the right place, and she'd be doing a lot better if not for the patriarchy thwarting her at every step;

FTFY, since Larry fucked up and got the other two killed. But now he'll atone for his past mistakes, and they'll sort it all out getting rid of the Tyrells and gods know who else. Maybe once the dust settles they can make more incest babies. 

[Sir Loin Steak]

24 minutes ago, Toth said:

Have I missed anything? Has anyone more ideas what such a rulebook needs?

Cleric class maybe?

If male has special ability Justice of the Faith enabling him to lock up homosexuals and women for a random number of turns (1d20), heterosexual male characters are immune. Has plus 5 charisma during speech checks, provided he uses anachronisms and non-logic. Has no combat stats but can summon Faith Taliban to fight for him.

If female gains special ability Bewbs which gives +5 charisma. Has a 1d5 chance to perform Haircut of Resurrection, reviving a fellow player. Has Power of Prophesy but in the currently rule-set it doesn't work, so players are urged to wait for that mechanic to be fixed.

 

Edit: Special Rule. If playing a eunuch or character who has had homosexual experiences, all other players MUST call attention to this both when addressing you directly and when mentioning your character's name. Failure to do so can result in immediate removal from the game. Bonus XP is awarded at the GM's discretion for using offensive stereotypes.

[SuperMario]

18 minutes ago, Toth said:

Ooops, I forgot one of the house rules:

Now I want him dead even more

Since a Game of Thrones campaign is more shocking without being delluded by those pesky books, there are certain ways to shape the gaming group into what the GM values the most. Every player who has admitted to having read the books is banned from rolling any dying saves. Ever.

 

Have I missed anything? Has anyone more ideas what such a rulebook needs?

Perfect. This is the best rule.

You might want to add a rule about anyone wanting to play as an animal in the game.

Direwolves immediately start off with -2 friendship points and any encounter that allows them to gain more points will earn the instant death result. So you need to play wisely as a direwolf. Too much involvement will not be fruitful.

Dragons on the other hand start you off +3. If you are playing with a male character who is high in holiness points your dragon's abilities double.

[Ser Gareth]

1 hour ago, CrastorsLivingSon said:

Just posted this thought in a different thread but figured it might bear repeating:

With George having officially released another chapter, I am deciding (entirely because I like the thought) to see it as a big eff you to D$D.  The release isn't that big of a deal as he has read the chapter at past cons.  Just the timing strikes me as "This is how you write a Dornish Plot you wannabe goldman sachs frat boys."  

Or I could just be hopeful that George is that petty to think that way?  I can dream ya?

I think you're spot on.  GRRM has proven in the past he is more the capable of being petty, bitter and vindictive.  Ask Rowling.....

[Ser Gareth]

36 minutes ago, Darkstream said:

 

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to disagree with you guys here. I think you misinterperated what D&D are trying to tell us here. Carol is not just a good mother. 

Carol is the Mother. She is literally a goddess. She is the living embodiment of the Seven in the form of the Mother. The all caring, all sacrifising saint of a mother, who's sole purpose is to insure the well being and happiness of her four three  two only remaining childern child.

I think that's a real stretch.  Show Cersei is a bitch.  She's just not a crazy bitch (yet) as she is in the books.  Which is kind of a good thing as book Cersei wouldn't translate well to the screen at all.  She is very much a caricature evil witch/stepmother character in the books.  More like a cartoon than a well thought out character.  The show Cersei is bland and boring though.  They could've given her a bit more spirit.

[Cas Stark]

13 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

FTFY, since Larry fucked up and got the other two killed. But now he'll atone for his past mistakes, and they'll sort it all out getting rid of the Tyrells and gods know who else. Maybe once the dust settles they can make more incest babies. 

Or, maybe a three way with The Mountain, now that he's part of the entourage.

[CrastorsLivingSon]

1 minute ago, Cas Stark said:

Or, maybe a three way with The Mountain, now that he's part of the entourage.

SHOCKING!