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Ramsay B.

The Poster Below: v43

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The only ones I've seen are Speed and The Matrix, so I need to get on that, but my favorite so far would be The Matrix.

TPB will share their favorite Bruce Willis movie.

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I almost did a couple times, but I always check to see if I'm answering the right question.

TPB will tell us how many times they were beaten to an answer by another user in this thread.

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I din't count.

TPB should enact a humorous football game between Dany, Jon, Arya, Tyrion, Sansa (rest of the players can be of TPB's choice)

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I did my best. Keep in mind I'm not a writer and english is not my first language.

Spoiler

Wolves of Winterfell: Jon, Sansa, Arya, Ghost, Tormund, Wun Wun.

Dragons of Old Valyria: Dany, Tyrion, Grey Worm, Missandei, Varys.

 

Bob (announcer): Okay, the players are taking the field here at Aegon Arena in King’s Landing now for the big final of the Westeros Premier League, brought to you by Clegane’s Keep Fried Chicken. Wolves of Winterfell vs. Dragons of Old Valyria, I’m very excited, what about you Jack?

Jack (commentator): Oh this is bound to be a great game, Bob. The Wolves come in led by Jon Snow to face the Dragons led by Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of anywhere-she-sets-her-feet and anyone-she-sees, apparently. Should be a tough match for the Dragons, it’s not every day you face a team with a giant and a direwolf. I hope the Ghost behaves himself this time. He’s been ejected from three games this season for killing members of the opposing team.

Bob: He’ll do well to remember that ravenous bites to the throat are punishable with a red card.

Jack: Exactly, Bob.

Bob: And we have kickoff! The dragons have the first possession, Missandei looks for Dany but the Dragons captain seems resigned to just look at everyone very intensely.

Jack: There seems to be some trouble on the sidelines there… People are invading the field! What’s going on down there, Mike?

Mike (on-field commentator): Jack, some members of the Castle Black Crows have just invaded the field.

Bob: Well that is unprecedented.

Jack: Yes, yes. They appear to be chasing after Wolves captain Jon Snow. Seems to me like they have knives, or something… Did they just…? What? Ahhh… Mike?

Mike: Apparently Jon Snow has just been killed. Yep, that’s right folks, Jon Snow has just been murdered in cold blood by the Crows. Some stab wounds to the chest. Does not look pretty.

Bob: The stadium is in complete shock. Players are kneeling on the sidelines.

Jack: Everyone except Tormund who refuses to kneel, as usual. He’s not known for his sportsmanship. The Wolves’ medical team is rushing to the field.

Mike: That’s right, Wolves manager Ser Davos is sending in the medical team. Lady Melisandre is on the field now she’s… Is she cutting his hair? Oh, wait. He’s rising. Jon Snow is back.

Bob: Looks like the City Watch has the Crows under custody now, they appear to be shouting. Can you hear anything down there Mike?

Mike: Yes, apparently the they’re disgruntled because Jon Snow decided to leave the Crows mid-tournament to join the Wolves when he heard his sister Lady Sansa severed ties with the Dreadfort Skinners.

Bob: Isn’t there a rule that says you can’t change teams mid-tournament?

Mike: There sure is, Bob, but no one seems to care about it.

Bob: Seems like the game’s about to resume, players are retaking their positions. And there it goes folks. Varys has the ball, under heavy pressure from Sansa. He passes to Grey Worm, open field ahead. He looks up, crosses, Dany with the header!!! Saved by Wun Wun.

Jack: Great save by Wun Wun, the best goalkeeper in the tournament. I guess it’s easy when all you have to do is stand there.

Bob: Wun Wun throws the ball to Ghost. Ghost gives it back to Wun Wun. Wun Wun to Ghost again… and again Ghost returns the ball to Wun Wun. Wun Wun takes the ball and gives Ghost a treat. He throws the ball on to Jon. Jon with the long pass to Tormund… too long. Free thrown for the dragons.

Jack: So far nothing different from what we expected. Wun Wun solid as always. Arya still playing as herself now that the league established that all players must wear the same face at all times during a match.

Bob: A good call in my opinion. Tyrion to Dany, to Missandei. The Wolves are keeping a tight defense today. Good fake out by Dany, seems like the Dragons finally found some space here… Tormund with the interception! Wolves with the counter-attack, this could be dangerous! Tormund to Jon, only the goalkeeper to beat. GOAL!!!!! Jon Snow is the scorer!

Jack: That’s the problem with having Tyrion Lannister as a goalkeeper. His wildfire tactic is excellent, but only when he has enough time to actually set it on fire.

Bob: Dany does not look happy. She storms of the field!! The referee is talking to the Dragons manager. Mike?

Mike: Bob, the manager seems to be as confused as any of us, but Grey Worm and Missandei are refusing to play without their queen. The referee is telling the manager that if the game does not resume on account of the Dragons’ players refusing to play, the Wolves will win by defau… Bob, Jack, do you see this?

Bob: Yes, Mike, we see it! Daenerys has returned riding Drogon, she… She’s landing on the field.

Jack: We all know where this is going…

Bob: Indeed we do, Jack. Mike?

Mike: Well, it is as expected. Dany has just proclaimed herself Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains, khaleesi of the Dothraki, the Mother of Dragons, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and Westeros Premier League champion.

Bob: Just like in the semis.

Jack: That’s right, Bob. The Dorne Sand Snakes were ahead when Dany called upon her dragons and proclaimed herself Westeros Premier League finalist. You have to admit it’s a good tactic.

Bob: It really is. Three dragons and you can say you’re anything you wish. Well folks it was great bringing this match to you live from King’s Landing. Don’t forget to tune in next week for the match that will decide the fate of human kind! The North Pole Walkers take on the best in Westeros in a much awaited rematch.

Jack: Everyone’s looking forward to that, Bob. Last time the two played against each other was about 8000 years ago, the Westerosi defeated the Walkers, but word is they’ve been working on their game really hard, so the Westerosi better be prepared!

Bob: We can only hope! Thank you for watching, folks

 

TPB will laugh at my football game even if they think it's not funny.

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2 hours ago, Lord Jeffrey said:

I did my best. Keep in mind I'm not a writer and english is not my first language.

  Reveal hidden contents

Wolves of Winterfell: Jon, Sansa, Arya, Ghost, Tormund, Wun Wun.

 

Dragons of Old Valyria: Dany, Tyrion, Grey Worm, Missandei, Varys.

 

 

 

Bob (announcer): Okay, the players are taking the field here at Aegon Arena in King’s Landing now for the big final of the Westeros Premier League, brought to you by Clegane’s Keep Fried Chicken. Wolves of Winterfell vs. Dragons of Old Valyria, I’m very excited, what about you Jack?

 

Jack (commentator): Oh this is bound to be a great game, Bob. The Wolves come in led by Jon Snow to face the Dragons led by Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of anywhere-she-sets-her-feet and anyone-she-sees, apparently. Should be a tough match for the Dragons, it’s not every day you face a team with a giant and a direwolf. I hope the Ghost behaves himself this time. He’s been ejected from three games this season for killing members of the opposing team.

 

Bob: He’ll do well to remember that ravenous bites to the throat are punishable with a red card.

 

Jack: Exactly, Bob.

 

Bob: And we have kickoff! The dragons have the first possession, Missandei looks for Dany but the Dragons captain seems resigned to just look at everyone very intensely.

 

Jack: There seems to be some trouble on the sidelines there… People are invading the field! What’s going on down there, Mike?

 

Mike (on-field commentator): Jack, some members of the Castle Black Crows have just invaded the field.

 

Bob: Well that is unprecedented.

 

Jack: Yes, yes. They appear to be chasing after Wolves captain Jon Snow. Seems to me like they have knives, or something… Did they just…? What? Ahhh… Mike?

 

Mike: Apparently Jon Snow has just been killed. Yep, that’s right folks, Jon Snow has just been murdered in cold blood by the Crows. Some stab wounds to the chest. Does not look pretty.

 

Bob: The stadium is in complete shock. Players are kneeling on the sidelines.

 

Jack: Everyone except Tormund who refuses to kneel, as usual. He’s not known for his sportsmanship. The Wolves’ medical team is rushing to the field.

 

Mike: That’s right, Wolves manager Ser Davos is sending in the medical team. Lady Melisandre is on the field now she’s… Is she cutting his hair? Oh, wait. He’s rising. Jon Snow is back.

 

Bob: Looks like the City Watch has the Crows under custody now, they appear to be shouting. Can you hear anything down there Mike?

 

Mike: Yes, apparently the they’re disgruntled because Jon Snow decided to leave the Crows mid-tournament to join the Wolves when he heard his sister Lady Sansa severed ties with the Dreadfort Skinners.

 

Bob: Isn’t there a rule that says you can’t change teams mid-tournament?

 

Mike: There sure is, Bob, but no one seems to care about it.

 

Bob: Seems like the game’s about to resume, players are retaking their positions. And there it goes folks. Varys has the ball, under heavy pressure from Sansa. He passes to Grey Worm, open field ahead. He looks up, crosses, Dany with the header!!! Saved by Wun Wun.

 

Jack: Great save by Wun Wun, the best goalkeeper in the tournament. I guess it’s easy when all you have to do is stand there.

 

Bob: Wun Wun throws the ball to Ghost. Ghost gives it back to Wun Wun. Wun Wun to Ghost again… and again Ghost returns the ball to Wun Wun. Wun Wun takes the ball and gives Ghost a treat. He throws the ball on to Jon. Jon with the long pass to Tormund… too long. Free thrown for the dragons.

 

Jack: So far nothing different from what we expected. Wun Wun solid as always. Arya still playing as herself now that the league established that all players must wear the same face at all times during a match.

 

Bob: A good call in my opinion. Tyrion to Dany, to Missandei. The Wolves are keeping a tight defense today. Good fake out by Dany, seems like the Dragons finally found some space here… Tormund with the interception! Wolves with the counter-attack, this could be dangerous! Tormund to Jon, only the goalkeeper to beat. GOAL!!!!! Jon Snow is the scorer!

 

Jack: That’s the problem with having Tyrion Lannister as a goalkeeper. His wildfire tactic is excellent, but only when he has enough time to actually set it on fire.

 

Bob: Dany does not look happy. She storms of the field!! The referee is talking to the Dragons manager. Mike?

 

Mike: Bob, the manager seems to be as confused as any of us, but Grey Worm and Missandei are refusing to play without their queen. The referee is telling the manager that if the game does not resume on account of the Dragons’ players refusing to play, the Wolves will win by defau… Bob, Jack, do you see this?

 

Bob: Yes, Mike, we see it! Daenerys has returned riding Drogon, she… She’s landing on the field.

 

Jack: We all know where this is going…

 

Bob: Indeed we do, Jack. Mike?

 

Mike: Well, it is as expected. Dany has just proclaimed herself Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains, khaleesi of the Dothraki, the Mother of Dragons, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and Westeros Premier League champion.

 

Bob: Just like in the semis.

 

Jack: That’s right, Bob. The Dorne Sand Snakes were ahead when Dany called upon her dragons and proclaimed herself Westeros Premier League finalist. You have to admit it’s a good tactic.

 

Bob: It really is. Three dragons and you can say you’re anything you wish. Well folks it was great bringing this match to you live from King’s Landing. Don’t forget to tune in next week for the match that will decide the fate of human kind! The North Pole Walkers take on the best in Westeros in a much awaited rematch.

 

Jack: Everyone’s looking forward to that, Bob. Last time the two played against each other was about 8000 years ago, the Westerosi defeated the Walkers, but word is they’ve been working on their game really hard, so the Westerosi better be prepared!

 

Bob: We can only hope! Thank you for watching, folks

 

 

TPB will laugh at my football game even if they think it's not funny.

That was truly amazing!  I laughed so much.  That's commitment, mate.  Well done :D

TPB will continue to praise the prose of our very own Lord Jeffrey.

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Lord Jeffrey has set a new bar with this stupendous feat. Really great :D

TPB will tell us what they will ask Dany when they meet her.

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If I could ride Drogon for a bit, probably.

(Btw, nice work, Lord Jeffrey).

TPB will share which character (from anything) they'd most like to hang out with for a evening.

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Probably The Dude from The Big Lebowski. White Russians and Bowling...I could go for that. Alternatively, Jake and Elwood Blues, Doc Brown, Shaun and Ed (of the Dead), Batman, almost anyone from Star Wars, Gandalf, etc. 

 

TPB will answer the same

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Honestly, I'd either hang out with Theon Greyjoy or Hancock from Fallout 4. 

TPB will tell us about their favourite musical (or if they haven't seen any musicals, explain why)

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Rent, definitely. I remember watching the trailer for the movie on TV and thinking "this seems like some cool stuff". Watched it for the first time a few years later when I was 18 and bought the DVD of the last performance on Broadway. Watched many musicals since (mostly film adaptations or bootlegs cause I've never had the chance to go to NY or London and they don't produce many musicals here in Brazil) but Rent is still by far my favorite.

TPB will tell us which instrument they play or would like to play, in case they don't play any.

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I don't play an instrument but I would play the piano if possible.

 

TPB will tell us what their favorite episode of GOT was.

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Season 6 Episode 10 Winds of winter :D

TPB will say which POV in ASOIAF would he have written differently and how?

 

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Daenerys, since her arcs in ACOK and ADWD don't really do it for me. Her second book would be about her conquest of the Slaver cities and and I'd get her to Westeros at some point after Joffrey's wedding, late in ASOS. (There are other POVs I don't love but those are pretty minor).

TPB will do the same.

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Jon Snow in AGoT.  He really comes off as a whiny narcissist with a persecution complex. Yes he does grow up, but some of his choices really seem childish considering how "bastards grow up faster".

TPB will write the worst Clegane Bowl fanfic ever.

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So the Cleganes are fighting the trial by combat in front of a large audience. During the fight, Sandor explains to Gregor how the fire incident hurt him emotionally as well as physically, and Gregor, who hadn't realized this, apologizes, telling his brother that he regrets they grew apart because of his mistake. They break down in tears simultaneously, drop their swords, and hug.
They consumate their reunion by making sweet incestuous love in front of the whole crowd. The spectators feel inspired, and all start French kissing their siblings. Jaime and Cersei are doing their thing too, but they hadn't noticed the Cleganes, they were gonna do this anyway.
The Clegane brothers inspire a new religion where sibling sex becomes the new conjugal sex. Jaime and Cersei are their fiercest followers, and they decide to free Gregor from his vows, and to lift the bounty on Sandor's head, so the Hound and the Mountain can retire happily to the countryside, which they do. The ship name #Houndtain trends on Twitter for weeks.
And from that moment onwards, lords and peasants alike are banging their brothers and sisters, men become uncles to their sons, women are grandmothers to both their kid and his spouse. All the while, Sandor and Gregor live out their days in a cabin in a hill. Gregor chops wood, and Sandor  makes soup every evening. Gregor picks flowers from the fields and sends bouquets to all the people he has wronged. On Sundays, he and his brother disembowel teenagers together, because old habits die hard. They're very grateful that they've been given this second chance at life. On one day, they dub the bowl they drink Sandor's soup out of the Clegane Bowl, laugh at their silliness, and kiss passionately while the sun sets in the background.
Then of course the Others came and everyone died horribly.

 

(And, before you complain - the worst fanfic ever was specifically requested, dammit.) 

TPB sincerely hopes that TWOW will be like this.

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Of course. :lol: This was beautiful.

TPB will amuse us with a bad pun.

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Ok...but I can't do an insect pun, because they really bug me.

 

TPB will continue this pun madness.

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