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Ramsay B.

The Poster Below: v43

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What are you saying, an't insect puns the best?

TPB will not be stingy with more puns.

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You got what you asked for, Bran. I just kept typing without thinking about it :P 

I could continue with puns, yes, but I don't want to pun-ish you guys any futher.

TPB will break the cycle of bad puns and tell a moderately funny anecdote instead.

 

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Miss Belinda Blumenthal was teaching her students math and posed the following question:

"There are three birds sitting on a telephone wire.  A man with a gun shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left on the wire?"

Billy raised his hand. "None," he replied confidently.

"No, no, no.  Let's try again, maybe you didn't hear me correctly," the teacher says patiently. She holds up three fingers.  “There are three birds sitting on a wire.  A man with a gun shoots one," she puts down one finger, "how many birds are left on the wire?"

"None," the boy says with authority.

The teacher sighs.  "Tell me how you came up with that."

"It's simple," says the boy, "after the man shot one bird, the noise from the gun scared the other two away."

"Well," she says, "that's not technically correct, but I like the way you think."

"Thanks," beams Billy, "now let me ask you a question." 

"Okay," she said hesitantly.

"There are three women sitting on a bench eating popsicles.  One woman is licking the popsicle, one woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the popsicle.  Which one is married?" he asked innocently.

The teacher looked at the boy's angelic face and squirmed in agony, turning three shades of red.

"C'mon," the boy said impatiently, "which one is it, the one licking the popsicle, the one biting it, or the one sucking it?  Which one is married?"

"Well, uh," she gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied, "the one who's sucking?"

"Naw," he says with surprise, "the one with the wedding ring.  But I like the way you think."

 

TPB will forgive me for that and tell a better one.

 

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One day during a lecture tour, Mark Twain entered a local barber shop for a shave. This, Twain told the barber, was his first visit to the town.
“You’ve chosen a good time to come,” he declared.
“Oh?” Twain replied.
“Mark Twain is going to lecture here tonight. You’ll want to go, I suppose?”
“I guess so…”
“Have you bought your ticket yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Well, it’s sold out, so you’ll have to stand.”
“Just my luck,” said Twain with a sigh. “I always have to stand when that fellow lectures!”

TPB will divulge how much time is spent on westeros.org and other ASOIAF websites every week.

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Westeros.org is the only asoiaf related website I visit. And it really depends. I wasted plenty of time browsing and posting during season 6, but now it went back to just checking in everyday, five to ten minutes per day I suppose. 

Tpb will tell us what's their favorite alcoholic beverage to have on the beach. 

 

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Some kind of fruity cocktail, lots of ice. Probably sex on the beach (Orange, cranberry, peach schnapps, vodka) 

 

tpb will ill do the same

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I do like Mai Tai's whenever I go on vacation. 

 

TPB will tell us their favorite sport/game to play.

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Badminton can be counted as my favourite sport, though I enjoy video games like Saints Row more

TPB will tell us about their favourite beverage

 

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If I were to list my favourite beverage, then would it need to be invented in the British Isles? If so, Quatro (sold in UK in the mid 1980's, but I drank it in Chile much more recently).

If I were to say my favorite drink, I think a nice slushie (also called slurpee, icee) is great on a hot day.

 

TPB will divulge a secret.

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I couldn't say. I'm sure I agree with you from time to time. 

 

Tpb will tell us what they usually daydream about. 

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That is classified information. :ninja:

TPB likes watching cheesy romantic soap operas.

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15 hours ago, Hour of the Wolf said:

I think it's a raido jingle but yes I do, thre jingle for New Bridge Street Bedding Centre

TPB will share their favourite advert 

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"Our house be colourful like that tomorrow!" - "You has such imagination!" - "What do we without imagination?!" (Yes, it must be broken language.) -> a very old advert for wood paint

And then there is the new one for beer with the River man (the advert is a reference to Prešeren's poem), which I like too. The girl asks him if he came for a dance (which is what happens in the poem), and he says he came for a dance.

Cannot decide which I like better. Have a look at both.

TPB will share another amusin advert.

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It's a parody, but here: 

Tpb will tell us what they're looking forward to in August

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The Obelisk Gate, Suicide Squad, visiting a friend for a weekend for their birthday. Hearing how my job application went (and hopefully progressing to the next stage)

 

tpb will do the same

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