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Raisin' Bran

Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

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Jez Bell thinks the Ring of Power is a bell ringing (or possibly the telephone, and keeps ringing in order to become an Evil Overlord. Overlady?

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Count Balerion lives in the "Vortex of Doom".  It's actually a cardboard box with a smelly old blanket in it, but it's all about branding. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Jez's head can increase or decrease its size at will. This is particularly useful when she wants to look scary or cute. However, once she lost control of it an walked around one day with a head the size of a grape. Made everyone queasy.

Edited by Raisin' Bran

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Bran has clearly not received the memo that clearly identifies discussions of head-size variations as insensitive and discriminatory.  He has been fined 83 jelly beans and 0.06 hours thinking of bell puns.

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The proportions of CB's torso are nearly perfect to maximize his volume to surface area ratio.

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Bran believes that ginger is the root of all evil.

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Posted (edited)

Count Balerion has a gooey centre.

Edited by Jez Bell
It's delicious

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Posted (edited)

Bran is a budgie smuggler.  He dyes them and passes them off as exotic birds and sells them at a premium to unsuspecting pet owners.    

Edited by Jez Bell

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Jez is trying to muscle in on my bird business. She even hired a couple thugs to come trash my pet shop. Of course, I cannot prove anything.

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RB can prove it, since he paid her to do it in the first place, in order to write it off his taxes. Not unlike the producers. I've no idea whether this worked according to plan or not.

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None of it matters... Count Balerion ate all the budgies.

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CB spends all his time at Disneyland on the Matterhorn.  He likes the yodeling.

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Posted (edited)

Jez auditioned for the part of "Had Matter" in a play called "Against the Looking Glass".

Edited by Raisin' Bran

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Raisin Bran stole Tweedledum's nice new rattle, and framed Tweedledee because Tweedledee refused to read ASOIAF, claiming it was "dirty".

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Count Balerion has banned all looking glasses from his lands. 

The Count could not see his own reflection and kept trying to walk through the glass.  It was just embarrassing after a while.  Pity though, they really do make every room look bigger.

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