Jez Bell Posted August 19, 2018 Share Posted August 19, 2018 Honeyed Chicken once had a promising career in the CIA (Chicken Insurance Agency). He led the sales numbers for "Road Crossing Assistance" for many years. Unfortunately the claims figures skyrocketed in the '80s when dad jokes first got their big break. He hasn't crossed a road ever since. Don't ask me why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Jez Bell applied too much eye shadow yesterday by mistake, but ended up liking the effect. It reminded her of her goth days in high school, so as a retro thing she went all goth and showed up for work that way. Her boss was not pleased because both the kids and their moms freaked out when they saw their day care teacher that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted August 20, 2018 Author Share Posted August 20, 2018 honeyed chicken would rather go to sushi bars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Raisin Bran does not believe in climate change. He feels that there has always been a climate, and there always will be. Duh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kungsmurfen Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Jez hates Westworld and can't understand why people would watch such a poorly sourced piece on American history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 20, 2018 Share Posted August 20, 2018 Kungsmurfen, on the other hand, loves Westworld and has been watching non stop since the last time I hung around this thread - a very long time, in fact. (Hi Kungs! ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Honeyed chicken had a brief but torrid affair with a bottle of soy sauce. The relationship was a bit salty, but it resulted in a beautiful child. HC liked the name “Teri” and his Mrs chose the middle name “Yaki”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Whenever she visits Latin America, Jez Bell is in the habit of going up to random people and saying, "Soy soy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 CB polishes his shoes to a mirror shine. This allows him to check his teeth for stray bits of food when no one is looking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Honeyed chicken once threw a party for time-travelers. He didn't send out the invitations until the next day. Nobody showed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kungsmurfen Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Jez once played Juliet in a theatre play but she didn't like the ending and demanded it be changed to "And then they lived happily ever after". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Kingsmurfen is not a natural blonde. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 Jez once was a natural blonde, but got tired of being asked by drunken slobs in bars if it was true that blondes have more fun and would she "like to have some with me". She now wears a mohawk dyed a lovely shade of chartreuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted August 23, 2018 Share Posted August 23, 2018 HC time-travelled to the days before natural blondes existed and accidentally invented them by spilling radioactive soy sauce on some innocent people's heads -- thus for ever changing the course of history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Count Balerion can't count. He can however preform calculus flawlessly. He's a natural idiot savant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Honeyed chicken sometimes likes to put on a day-glo vest and direct traffic. As he knows nothing about the efficient management of vehicular congestion, he just stands in the middle of the street and vogues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeyed chicken Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 And I'd be damned good at it too! Jez's brief career as an opera diva came crashing down when it turned out she just couldn't gain an ounce. She could sure as hell hit those high notes and shatter glass with the best of the sopranos, but fit into the costumes? Merde! They don't make size zero dresses for opera divas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 HC hates opera because it brings back traumatic memories of when Pavarotti mistook him for supper. (He's not alone in that.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Bell Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 Count Balerion only wears a cape because he heard that flying is the safest form of transportation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted August 27, 2018 Author Share Posted August 27, 2018 JB once hitchhiked from El Paso, Texas to Panama City. It did not work so well on the return trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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