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Raisin' Bran

Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

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RB2G councils me through my difficulties. In fact, it is he who suggested I change my name and go underground. 

Bran is not a licensed therapist, mainly because he employs questionable methods. One of his techniques involves evaluation of feelings with reward and punishment through Jellybeans.  It's strangely effective. 

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Perhaps that's the real reason for the failure of DC's manuscript-theft plans. Perhaps GRRM uses a weird jellybean-scented paper for the manuscripts, and DC eats them. This would also explain why the books haven't been finished.

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The Count loves to cosplay GRRM. In fact, he takes his cosplay sessions too far as to actually sit down and write a TWoW fanfic manuscript himself and sign copies to befooled fans. He estimates his work will be ready for bookstores early next near, way earlier than the original.

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Baltan once tried to invade a Japanese shopping mall with her minions (the reasons are unclear, but we can only assume it was to stockpile wagashi).  Sadly, her efforts were thwarted by a man in a pink and white unitard. 

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DC hired the unitard chap (unless indeed she WAS the unitard chap; she also likes donning bizarre disguises, like the time she attended a convention as all three show-Sand Snakes--quite a feat, that). Why was she hindreing B's minions' mega-shopping mission? Pure spite.

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The Count is definitely not one of my minions, but he did participate in the japanese mall expedition. He was trying to buy kilos and kilos of wasabi without raising suspicion (or to blame my minions, if that was the case). His plans were also blown by this mysterious pink unitard wearing bastard. He's planning vengeance with the few grammes of wasabi he was able to steal.

Edited by Baltan

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JQC is the fourth Sand Snake. The other three expelled her for bringing shame on the family. "YOUR DIALOGUE ISN'T BAD ENOUGH!!!!" they screamed. An ugly business. Although the good news is that she didn't have to listen to them talk anymore.

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CB gives to charities all the time. The charities he gives too have the goal of wiping out poverty once and for all. They do this by abducting impoverished souls, and buying them passage to numerous locations in the Pacific Ocean, where they have "accidents". He is well aware of this practice, and applauds it.

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DC was one of those guests, and saw incredible things there, like the final manuscript of WOW and DOS. Her mind was quite literally blown; for none of the living can see these things without being driven to madness and horror and cerebral explosions. (The love scene between Hodor and Cersei alone would destroy anyone's soul.) Then she started posting to the fora...

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Destiel's Child comes from a different part of the multiverse. She visits from time to time through a secret dimensional gateway just so she can partake in these forum games.

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Dolorous Gabe invented a time machine out of spare change and a small aubergine.  

His sole purpose for the invention was to go back  in time and change history.  He succeeded.  Wednesday used to come before Tuesday.

Did I mention that his time machine is fuelled by Alphagetti?

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DC doesn't need a time machine. For she is Mistress of History, and caused the Black Death out of boredom. Probably she'd gotten tired of waiting for ... no, not THAT theme again. I just did that.

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The Count is Destiel's Child's long running adversary. He uses my time machine to go back and bring balance to the Mistress of History's horrific acts born of boredom. Some believe that Count Balerion had a great plan to put an end to the Great Plague in London in 1665, which culminated in an unintended fire that spread across London in 1666 and killed off the plague. Others believe The Count had already put paid to the Great Plague in London and the Great Fire was actually started by Destiel's Child with intent to kill her arch enemy in retribution for his pesky meddling.

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