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Raisin' Bran

Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

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DG vastly overcharges me for the use of his time machine. I think he spends all the moey in the most infamous houses of ill repute in history, starting with the Neanderthal Ugh-Grunt Cave and working up to modern Vegas. But what would I know; maybe it's true he gives it all away to people traumatised by the RW.

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CB has written and rewritten numerous dissertations for a doctorate in literature. Each time, the review committee rejected the paper on the grounds that it was not relevant to the time period. Now with the use of the time machine, he hopes to finally achieve his dream to become Dr. Count Balerion.

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DC is my dissertation advisor and the one who keeps rejecting my proposals. My paper on transhumanism in literature, where I deconstruct identitatiarism in GRRM and in Ovid was brilliant; but she shelved it because Ovid is dead. What nonsense!

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That's not why it was rejected...

The Count's real issue is that even with a time machine, he is unable to meet a deadline.  He apparently didn't anticipate the difficulty in obtaining alphagetti for fuel in Ovid's time. 

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Destiel recently took the advice of a questionable soothsayer to hold a seance to summon the ghost of Gilbert Gotfried. Against all odds though Destiel bought the entire thing even as the soothsayer broke into terrible impressions of Gotfried while claiming to be possessed.

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LR dreamt up Minstral and this entire forum. We are all naught but the phantasms of his/her diseased mind, driven mad by waiting for WOW to come out and prove or disprove his/her bizarre theory that Hot Pie is an agent of the Others.

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CB was advised to power cycle his laptop last week to allow software updates to be installed. He then took it around on his Kawasaki Ninja for a few hours. He is still waiting for the update.

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Raisin(g) Bran 2 Greenseer is reponsible for Pirates wearing earrings.  

He started a rumor that wearing earrings improves your eyesight, and well, have you ever seen a pirate wearing glasses?

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Baltan was murdered by flamewar terrorists who accused her of being a Hot Pie-lover. Then she came back to take revenge on the living, and became a showrunner.

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CB's real identity is GRRM, who infiltrates into this board looking for an idea to fill in that bugger plot hole in chapter 168 in TWOW. Only 47 chapters more and the book will be complete! At this pace the book will be out in March 2029. He's quite happy with this time frame so far.

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It would help if siyxx didn`t keep sending me fan mail with incredibly detailed suggestions about storylines. If you think there are a lot of characters now, just wait till she gets through with me. But really, I can`t NOT use this brilliant Yi Ti storyline, even if it does mean an extra book or two ....

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Count Balerion was once a member of a family of singers named "Familia Vo Caliente".  They travelled the world playing concerts wearing their trademark matching red jumpsuits, white kicks, and hello kitty backpacks.  The group was disbanded when it was leaked that two of the group's members were not actually related to the family in any way.  Instead they were full grown adults, posing as teenagers.  The scandal shook the group and they never recovered their signature harmonies.  The two group members at the heart of the trouble went on to form their own group.  You may know them as Milli Vanilli.

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DC travels the world in search of "the next big thing". She discovered: U2, Nirvana, The Spice Girls, and a few others. Her newest project involves recreating the Beatles using DNA to clone the originals. This will allow for unfathomable possibilities, including but not limited to collaborative efforts with the likes of Aaron Lewis, Alicia Keys, and Chinx. However, she is sad that she wont be able to combine John, Ringo, Paul, and George with David Bowie, as he has already gone the way of the Doe doe. Oh wait...

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Raisin(g) Bran is also a geneticist, but with an even bigger project: he is experimenting on DNA to see if he can create dragons. Once he has created them, there are two frightening possibilities: one being that he will become a dragonrider and conquer the world; the other being that he will actually find a way to mutate his own DNA to become a dragon.

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The Count pretends to be an actionist to steal Raisin Bran's Dragon Dreams (the code name for his secret investigation)

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Well, we had to do something! We couldn't let RB conquer the world, and anyway we need the dragons ourselves to protect humanity from the Army of Others that siyxx has been breeding in loathsome vats of putrescence.

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