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Raisin' Bran

Outrageous Lies bout TP above, Ver. 24 (I like it better than 23)

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Little did CB know, dragon DNA is extremely temperamental in the cloning process.

Brans first few attempts produced dragons that breathed technicolour bubbles instead of fire.  By the time CB and Baltan reached the RB2G laboratories, the dragons had already been sold to Medieval Fun Time Land.

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the Child of Destiel once had 15 pizzas delivered to a neighbor's house as a prank. Little did she know that her neighbor had also ordered 15 pizzas for a party that evening, but mistakenly gave the pizza place the wrong address. So it ended well for the neighbor anyway.

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RB is a big pizza chap, but he doesn't eat it. Instead he cuts the pizza into the shapes of ASOIAF characters and painstaking recreates each scene from the series. That's devotion to art!

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CB once tried to DIY a lava lamp to create mood lighting while entertaining a special guest.  Convinced that it couldn't possibly be that complicated, CB was set on taking on the challenge.

A few substitutions were made with common household ingredients:

Silly putty was used instead of the wax mixture
Vodka was used instead of water
Olive Oil instead of mineral oil
A plastic soda bottle instead of a glass bottle
and a bic lighter instead of a low wattage bulb

It did not go as planned.

CB has only just managed to regrow eyelashes and brows.  On the bright side, no more nose hair.

 

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DC was a writer for the MacGyver TV series of the 1980's. She loves to talk about that one time she came up with the idea for MacGyver to build a fertilizer bomb.

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RB isn't actually located in Oldstones, or anywhere else. He is omnipresent, thanks to the powers he obtained by turning all his volumes of ASOIAF into horcruxes.

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The Count wanted to be the Harry Potter to RB, and be a horcrux himself. Unfortunately, RB never heard any prophecy about the Count interfering his plans nor was ever inclined towards child murder.

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Baltan has a horcrux hidden somewhere on this site. Rumors have it that it's in the Still Reading-ACOK section, but it has yet to have been found. Nobody knows how to destroy it anyways.

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RB loves The Lion King so much he sets the alarm so he could wake up and slowly rise from the bed to the intro of "Circle Of Life" every morning. Naaaaaaaaaaants ingonyamaaaaa bagithi Babaaa

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siyxx devoured the entire ASOIAF series--literally. She munches books. She prefers paperbacks, the thicker the better. It's giving me an appetite just thhinking about it.

 

 

 

 

she prefers paperbacks because

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Count Balerion is something of a food superstar himself.

He creates beautiful plates of food that, at first sight, one would think came from a michelin star restaurant.  On closer inspection, though, you would discover that all dishes are made entirely out of gummy bears and shrimp paste (a substance he affectionately refers to as "Gump").

Photographs of his work have gained a huge internet fanbase.  He goes by the pseudonym "Shellfish Bastard"

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Destiel's Child made a life sized paper mache sculpture of Donald Trump, and hugs it every morning before leaving the house. 

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DC, on the other hand, belongs to a weird earwax-worshipping cult. (Oh, come on, spellcheck; you have got to be kidding me. "Worshipping" is correct, and "worshiping" is stupid, so shut up.) Anyway, weird American spellings aside, she calls earwax the "primal substance of being". 

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Raisin(g) Bran claims the internet doesn't exist, and that telephones (the corded ones) are devices that cause prostate cancer.

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Baltan is a strong environmentalist.  Her inventions are geared towards reducing our carbon footprint.  One example is her solar powered cigarette lighter.

It's comprises a cigarette holder, upon which is perched a magnifying glass.  You simply need to angle your cigarette towards the sun, and voila...

It never really caught on, but A+ for effort.

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DC could not care less about Mother Earth. roughly every 2 weeks, she approaches those in power with construction projects cutting through "environmentally sensitive" areas. The projects then get environmental activist groups' attention and lawsuits begin to fly, using up hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal gridlock.

Hmmm, perhaps she is a lawyer.

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RB can talk. He's the chap who bought the entire planet from Trump and is now in the process of selling it off, one chunk at a time, to evil aliens who will the destruction of humanity. Hey, he'll be safe spending all the dough on some decadent planetary paradise; so what does he care if the rest of us are wiped out?

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