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Raisin' Bran

Be as unhelpful as possible, Ver. 2.1.1

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I can never decide between the turd sandwich and the giant douche.

How long would it take to walk from KL to the Wall?

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Cersie :) Oh no! That was probably a helpful answer. Let me try again. Perhaps Freys.

What kind of reality show (few e.g: X-factor, Masterchef, The Voice) can be organised in Westeros? 

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King Joffrey liked it when contestants fought to the death, but now that Tommen is king all the reality shows are bout cats.

Should Wyman Manderly be a contestant in Masterchef?

 

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In order to be unhelpful, I will hack into the link and make it go to a page that says "To be what?" I hope that covers all bases.

Help! I'm being attacked by a gang of kids who want me to tell them if Trump is more like Azor Ahai or Kraznys! "Az or Kraz?"as they put it, pointing their guns at me threateningly. What should I say?

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I think them tugs are asking you for ass or crack, in a trick or treat manner. Just pick one fast.

 

Why no one smokes in Westeros?

 

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I don't know how to speak to you nor what you consider funny. I can write something I consider funny.

My family is in mortal danger inside a house and I am just outside. The person who brought me there tells me that they are "already dead" and we need to run so we are not killed too, but I just want to see my family. What can I do?

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Paris, Milan, London and New York are good starting points. But stay away from Tokyo and Seoul, unless you like adventurous.

 

Where can I find nice firm but butter-like avocados?

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GRRM really has a thing for nice small firm breasts. Sagging breasts are a big no-no.

How would the Crawleys of Downton Abbey fare in Westeros?

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When we see the last book of ASOIAF series or it can be as soon as TWOW gets released.

What happens to this game if I be helpful?

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It's hard to define what is helpful and what is not.

 

Is there a possibility for Tommen to survive the series?

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Anyone can ... oh, hang it.

I'm trying to take over the world, but don't have an army. Any volunteers to fight for world domination? Bring your own weapons. TIA!

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