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A True Kaniggit

The Drunk Thread: Just Look at the Flowers

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Posted (edited)

"Bang"

 

Sigh. 

I tried to do an "Old Yeller" before "The Walking Dead". But I just couldn't get the dialogue right.

Edited by A True Kaniggit

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9 hours ago, Triskele said:

I have two questions for this thread, the first concerns the Bloody Mary but also bar etiquette.  

I ordered a Bloody Mary one day and politely asked for no lime as I've often gotten a lime in one in airports and whatnot.  So the drink comes out and there's no lime, but there's a lemon.  This annoyed the shit out of me because I would have taken my "no lime" to imply "no extra citrus."  But I stayed very polite but did ask if I could get one without the lemon too, and the guy was like "it's just a garnish."  

I told a friend about this, and they told me that a classic bloody mary mix has a little bit of lemon juice in it, but even if that's true, I don't think it really negates my point.  And I very much tasted a massive extra citrus jolt in this drink, the very thing I was trying to avoid.  I have fantasies of throttling this bartender to this day.  Do you guys think I'm out of line?

The second question is to what extent must one be drunk for this thread.  I am not right now.  My bac is below .08.  Does my presence offend you?  

1. A bloody mary mix often contains some citrus, typically lemon and/or lime to help up the acidity (which is odd when you think of the base of a bloody mary being tomato juice, but whatever).  If not, it will have a higher amount of vinegar of one kind or another in it.

2. Bartenders are very literal creatures by habit.  You asked for no lime.  In a bartender's brain, that translates directly in a one-to-one relationship with no lime.  In fact, some bartenders are so literal that saying "no citrus of any kind" for any drink can confuse and frustrate them to the point they will lay sobbing in the corner of the bar trying to understand why they took that damnable mixology class where they insisted every drink, no matter how removed from citrus flavors, needs some form of citrus in it and in the end may in fact question their entire existence.  However, this is the correct question to ask when not wanting citrus in or around your drink.  The sobbing breakdown is simply a bonus, and saves you needing to question if you should throttle the son of a bitch later.

3. I am not currently drunk, yet am participating in the thread.  It should be noted, however, that I am well practiced at being drunk, and do so as often as is practicable within a modern, full-time job having lifestyle.  Therefore, I feel I am qualified to weigh in on matters of drunkenness, whether my current BAC rises above baseline or not.

4. Some people think I'm verbose.  I simply understand the value in entertaining while imparting knowledge.  (I'm also on a re-read of the Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide and it's various sequels, so may have picked up some of his nasty habits.)

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As someone who works and has worked in bars and pubs for several years now (though i wouldnt call myself a bartender as such and what is a mixology class?) i’d usually ask or clarify if the customer wants ice/lemon/lime/orange etc in their drink before adding it. So @Triskele i think this bartender broke an unspoken code and you are justified in throttling him. 

What bursts my bra at work is people ordering wine. “I’ll have a glass of wine please.” “Sure, what kind would you like?” “White.” “Great we have *lists wines from memory*)” *customer looks blank* “White.” “Yes sir/madam but any kind in particular.” “Uhhhhh....cheapest.” “They’re all the same per glass sir.” “....white.” “How about our Chardonay?” “Oh no anything but chardonay!” *grits teeth* “of course, a nice sauvingon then.” “No not that either!” *eye twitches* “A Pinot Grigot then?” “Yeah that will do.” “Ok one large Pino-“ “with ice in.” “.....” “.....” “...get out.”

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Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

“Sure, what kind would you like?” “White.”

Well this is where they first went wrong.

The correct answer at this point is obviously "Red". 

Edited by A True Kaniggit

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