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StarkofWinterfell

Last One Wins

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My next plan: to spread a scare about an invasion of Others, so everyone will hide in their cellars and be too frightened to post! Brilliant! There's no way THAT can fail.

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On 10.10.2017 at 8:12 PM, Count Balerion said:

My next plan: to spread a scare about an invasion of Others, so everyone will hide in their cellars and be too frightened to post! Brilliant! There's no way THAT can fail.

Oh I'm glad that you're bringing my friends to the party :)

On 10.10.2017 at 11:40 PM, Col Cinders said:

<sing>

This is the end...

my only friend, the end...

</sing>

No this is just the beginning. 

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These aren't the same Others, though; or at least, that's what they told me. "We're other Others," they said. Others wouldn't lie, would they? GRRM didn't say they did.

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With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?

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The man who made it doesn’t want it. The man who bought it doesn’t need it. The man who needs it doesn’t know it. What am I talking about?

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What can run, but never walks? Has a mouth, but never talks? Has a head, but never weeps? Has a bed, but never sleeps?

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Edit.  Hit submit on accident before I got to the punchline.  To be continued...

Edited by Ded As Ned

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So anyway, a Presbyterian preacher, a Catholic priest, and an atheist are playing a round of golf.

On the very first hole, a par 3, the priest hits a hole in one and says "Surely the Lord has blessed me today!"  The Presbyterian makes par with a "meh", while the atheist misses a very easy putt for birdie and exclaims, "SHIT!  I MISSED!"

The Presbyterian kind of looks around awkwardly, while the Catholic glowers at the atheist for using such language.

All three go on to make par on the next couple of holes, but again on the 4th hole the atheist misses another easy putt and yells "SHIT!!  I MISSED!!! DAMMIT!!"  The Presbyterian is starting to feel even more uncomfortable, but the Catholic can't let it go any more and says "You know it's a sin to use profanity.  You should really ask forgiveness."  The atheist explains that he doesn't believe in deities, and his words are just a way of venting his frustration.... so the game continues on.

As the round plays out, every time the atheist misses a putt he keeps yelling "SHIT!  I MISSED!", while the Catholic priest is growing angrier and angrier, and continues to lecture the atheist on his sinful ways.  As his anger grows, the priest's game play is suffering.  As they play the last hole, the Presbyterian is losing badly, but the atheist and priest are tied.  The priest has a couple of bad shots, while the atheist is on the green. If the atheist makes his last putt, he wins the match.

True to form, the atheist misses... and one last time at the top of his lungs screams "SHIT!  I MISSED!!!!"  The priest loses all composure, and glowers over at the atheist.  "The Lord would never allow a sinner like you to win!  HAH!  MAY THE LORD STRIKE YOU DOWN IN YOUR SINFUL WAYS! YOU UNREPENTANT FOOL!"

Suddenly on this calm day, the wind begins to howl, and the clear sky fills with dark thunderheads. The Presbyterian is already sprinting for the country club. 

BAM!  A huge bolt of lightning strikes down from the sky, and all that is left of the Catholic priest is a pile of ashes! The atheist is standing there dumbfounded.  As the sky begins to clear, the booming voice of God reverberates throughout the countryside...  "SHIT!  I MISSED!"

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