Maithanet Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 21 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said: she needed me to be more genital. Did she? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Maithanet said: Did she? Ha! That’s what I get for typing a post while explaining something to a coworker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukle Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 On 5/17/2018 at 8:22 PM, Liffguard said: No disrespect to your mum, but I'm not sure I agree with this. I get the point, but I don't agree with the phrasing. All relationships end, but just because a relationship ended doesn't mean it failed. That's a happier way of thinking about it. Alternatively, it's also okay to fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted May 26, 2018 Share Posted May 26, 2018 1) Ahhhhh this thread is still going! 2) My crush from PRIMARY School just got back in touch via LINKEDIN (ffs!), what the hell? 3) Met up with crush from 2003 in Edinburgh a few weeks ago, he's kind of gone the Luke Skywalker route and looks like he's been eating cheese in a cave for the last 15 years. Though I was ON FIRE, witty and articulate etc etc, and 100% certain he totally regrets not leaving his gf for me, so there's that. 4) HWD... ugghh. So last autumn, I made a creditable attempt to cut him off, and lasted a whole week before he came begging me to come back. And he has really showed improvement, making a genuine effort to make plans and show up, etc. Plus he's been off work with anxiety and depression since December. But now I've just found out that for the first few months of that, he'd been lying about some medication he'd supposedly been coming off with serious withdrawal symptoms, and I'm really torn about whether to mention it, especially after I'd explicitly said "dude you need to stop lying to me" when we resumed our friendship in October. So yeah. 5) Theda and Liffguard, we were shipping you two so hard at LonCon. Just PM each other and sort something out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry of the Lawn Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 If your tinder or bumble profile consists of "wanna know just ask" why even bother writing anything? There isn't really another option since you've provided nothing about yourself other than 4 more or less random photos of you. Just leave it blank, it's the same thing. Actually, ignore this post, makes it easy to know to swipe left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sperry Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 On 6/1/2018 at 11:37 PM, larrytheimp said: If your tinder or bumble profile consists of "wanna know just ask" why even bother writing anything? There isn't really another option since you've provided nothing about yourself other than 4 more or less random photos of you. Just leave it blank, it's the same thing. Actually, ignore this post, makes it easy to know to swipe left. Tinder and Bumble are great for two things: demonstrating that a person is in the market, and establishing that both parties think the other passes each others' minimum physical attractiveness threshold. Past that, you just gotta talk to them/ meet them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 Tips on not being obsessed with someone? I know this sounds ridiculous but I literally think about this person as soon as I wake up and all day and when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's incredibly distracting and nothing I've tried so far (dating other people, deleting apps from my phone, not talking to or about him, picking up new hobbies, reading, TV, etc.) has worked. I feel creepy and obsessive but controlling my thoughts feels impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liffguard Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Starkess said: Tips on not being obsessed with someone? I know this sounds ridiculous but I literally think about this person as soon as I wake up and all day and when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's incredibly distracting and nothing I've tried so far (dating other people, deleting apps from my phone, not talking to or about him, picking up new hobbies, reading, TV, etc.) has worked. I feel creepy and obsessive but controlling my thoughts feels impossible. I don't know, but if you find out please let me know. In regards to the previously mentioned friend, I've 100% moved beyond confusion about whether I have feelings or not. I have feelings - don't know if I'm "in love" or not (whatever that even means) - but there are definitely romantic feelings there. She's taken up permanent residence in my head over the past couple of weeks. A group beach outing and a particularly nice bikini definitely didn't help matters. I still have no idea what I want to do about this though. I was hoping it would just fade away if I ignored it, but the exact opposite has been happening. Might be time to put on the big-boy pants and have a difficult conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 53 minutes ago, Liffguard said: I don't know, but if you find out please let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mankytoes Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 2 hours ago, Starkess said: Tips on not being obsessed with someone? I know this sounds ridiculous but I literally think about this person as soon as I wake up and all day and when I'm trying to fall asleep. It's incredibly distracting and nothing I've tried so far (dating other people, deleting apps from my phone, not talking to or about him, picking up new hobbies, reading, TV, etc.) has worked. I feel creepy and obsessive but controlling my thoughts feels impossible. Only to not think of yourself as weird, and know that this just something our brains do. I feel like I've made my own obsessions twice as bad by being so pissed off about the obsession itself (if that makes sense). Actions are creepy, thoughts you can't control, as you say. Just avoid contact, and don't give yourself a hard time, it will take time, though it might take ages. Try to keep meeting new people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maithanet Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 19 hours ago, Liffguard said: I was hoping it would just fade away if I ignored it, but the exact opposite has been happening. Might be time to put on the big-boy pants and have difficult conversation. Ding Ding Ding! It's that one. If you really are friends and you're just open about what you're feeling, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Virtually everyone likes hearing that someone finds them attractive. She might not be interested in being anything but friends, but it is way better to just hear the truth from her mouth rather than agonizing over it for months/years/decades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice Queen Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 On 6/4/2018 at 12:31 PM, Maithanet said: Ding Ding Ding! It's that one. If you really are friends and you're just open about what you're feeling, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Virtually everyone likes hearing that someone finds them attractive. She might not be interested in being anything but friends, but it is way better to just hear the truth from her mouth rather than agonizing over it for months/years/decades. Cautiously wading into this discussion. By all means, have that discussion, and the sooner the better. It's better than the agony of not knowing, and it's possible that while she may not feel that way now, by being open about your feelings and respectful towards hers, you can still be friends. And who knows what will happen in the future? Everyone likes hearing that someone finds them attractive, but for God's sake, don't tell her she's hot. That makes it sound like all you want is sex. Tell her she's beautiful. That will go over much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice Queen Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Never mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 So, what's the proper protocol around asking out salespeople? A store near my place as a new employee. I like her smile an want to get to know her better. OTOH, I don't want to be customer creep #5341. So, how to proceed? Other advice is also appreciated. My dating game has been kind of dead for a decade or so, what with being in a 9-year relationship and not really interested in the whole thing for another year after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 Uhhhhhh....as a sales person...like our whole job is to be super friendly and polite...you know that right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The guy from the Vale Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 Yes, I do. Which is why I'm even more hesitant than usual (and i'm rather shy) in pursuing anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Chatywin et al. Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 11 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said: Uhhhhhh....as a sales person...like our whole job is to be super friendly and polite...you know that right That can make it hard to read though. There was a really hot bartender at place I liked to go to a few years back. She was super flirty with me, but I figured that was part of her job, so I never made a move. I still regret not going for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 I didn’t want to come across as bitchy - there has definitely been a few people over th years who I’ve found attractive and was accidentally flirting with on top of being friendly. Just putting it out there to be wary of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starkess Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 4 hours ago, el tío de Vale(ncia) said: So, what's the proper protocol around asking out salespeople? A store near my place as a new employee. I like her smile an want to get to know her better. OTOH, I don't want to be customer creep #5341. So, how to proceed? Other advice is also appreciated. My dating game has been kind of dead for a decade or so, what with being in a 9-year relationship and not really interested in the whole thing for another year after. I've never worked in retail so don't have any first person advice, but the general advice I have heard in this situation is to make sure that you're not putting her in a position where she feels obligated to answer/be polite if you ask her out. So things like maybe giving her your number as you are on the way out so she doesn't have to react while you're still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HexMachina Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 6 hours ago, Starkess said: I've never worked in retail so don't have any first person advice, but the general advice I have heard in this situation is to make sure that you're not putting her in a position where she feels obligated to answer/be polite if you ask her out. So things like maybe giving her your number as you are on the way out so she doesn't have to react while you're still there. Agreee with this. Always err on the side of caution because it puts the employee in a very uncomfortable situation and makes them feel like shit if you have misconstrued doing their job as actual interest in you. Same applies to other service workers (waiter/waitress, barpersons etc.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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