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Dating: to play the part of the one who doesn't wait

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1 hour ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Oh no I have a massive crush on someone I volunteer with in the museum and I have no idea what to do about it :lol:

We are working in the same group on a project so I am seeing him a fair bit recently. Knew him last year as well. But then we went to uni for an MA and is currently working on his dissertation until Feb so I'm thinking of leaving it until then before I even think about asking him out lol 

Or maybe he needs to de stress from his dissertation with a few dates ;) 

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5 hours ago, lessthanluke said:

Or maybe he needs to de stress from his dissertation with a few dates ;) 

Definitely ask him out when the project you're working on him with is winding up!!!!  @Theda Baratheon Yay!  crushes are fun!

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5 hours ago, lessthanluke said:

Or maybe he needs to de stress from his dissertation with a few dates ;) 

 

24 minutes ago, Lily Valley said:

Definitely ask him out when the project you're working on him with is winding up!!!!  @Theda Baratheon Yay!  crushes are fun!

I think they're more scary than fun LOL and I think I will but I don' know how to flirt or what to say when I eventually ask him out hahahah

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3 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

 

I think they're more scary than fun LOL and I think I will but I don' know how to flirt or what to say when I eventually ask him out hahahah

Flirting is pretty easy, you just need to be confident. And if you're not, well, fake it till you make it. That sure worked for me. I'm a fairly good looking guy and I used to get really nervous when trying to ask a woman out. Now it's easy. You'll figure it out with time. Don't doubt yourself so much. Good luck! ;)

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2 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Flirting is pretty easy, you just need to be confident. And if you're not, well, fake it till you make it. That sure worked for me. I'm a fairly good looking guy and I used to get really nervous when trying to ask a woman out. Now it's easy. You'll figure it out with time. Don't doubt yourself so much. Good luck! ;)

Some days I'm super confident and all like I'M CUTE AS HECK but more often than not I think I'm a hideous monster and if I asked anyone out theyd be horrified LOL and I know that's stupid !! 

I have no idea if he even fancies me tho haha. WHAT ARE THE SIGNS 

we get along really well but I get along really well with a lot of people lol.

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14 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Some days I'm super confident and all like I'M CUTE AS HECK but more often than not I think I'm a hideous monster and if I asked anyone out theyd be horrified LOL and I know that's stupid !! 

I have no idea if he even fancies me tho haha. WHAT ARE THE SIGNS 

we get along really well but I get along really well with a lot of people lol.

Well you'll never know if you don't ask. And as far as the "signs" go, I'd suggest reading up a bit on body language. It can be really helpful. 

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I maybe a little traditional but I know if a girl asks me out then, well I'll lose all interest. The game is over. I've never been asked out by a girl I've liked or who wasn't mostly crazy.. Some might find that offensive but I think its unfortunately the way of the world, well.. my world. 

If you are going to get a guy to ask you out then you need to do it subtly or brashly in a confident way, putting the pressure on him. Like 'why haven't you asked me out yet?!' kind of way. 

I also subscribe to the 'He's just not that into you' school of thinking that if a guy is really into you, then you'd probably know it unless you were awful at reading signs. 

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thankfully i don't think he's anything like that ^_^^_^

not interested in people who play games; and you call the women crazy...

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also - i am mentally ill. fine with it now - it is what it is. i look after myself. but sucks to be me, i guess - for not having a neurotypical brain lol. crazy girls get a bad rep. 

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On 10/30/2017 at 7:25 PM, Xray the Enforcer said:

Just tell them that you're finding that you need a bit more "me" time than you have in the past, but that for the times that you're up to going out you'd still like to join. Anyone who can't handle that and respect your need for space isn't worth having as a friend in the first place.

Late to the party, but this is very good advice.

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2 hours ago, Eggegg said:

I maybe a little traditional but I know if a girl asks me out then, well I'll lose all interest. The game is over. 

Each to their own, but I don't get this at all. I hate the idea of it being a game, and the idea of having to always be the pursuer/initiator exhausts me.

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7 minutes ago, Liffguard said:

Each to their own, but I don't get this at all. I hate the idea of it being a game, and the idea of having to always be the pursuer/initiator exhausts me.

I don't get it at all either... It's B.S for both men and women, this scenario. Woman asks man out, then suddenly he's not interested because it's a game? And she's what...easy? I dunno... Or Man has to worry about being the pursuer and asking the woman out...it's dumb - why do there have to be these stupid arbitrary rules 

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Agreed. Frankly societies would be better off if women were empowered to initiate the dating process.

Also, there’s a dance you have to do during courtship, but playing games is for children.

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1 minute ago, Tywin et al. said:

Agreed. Frankly societies would be better off if women were empowered to initiate the dating process.

Also, there’s a dance you have to do during courtship, but playing games is for children.

Dance is certainly a better word than game. 

I would also hope that women were able to initiate things more, I fear though that we aren't at that stage and its unlikely we'll be there any time soon either

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1 hour ago, Eggegg said:

Dance is certainly a better word than game. 

I would also hope that women were able to initiate things more, I fear though that we aren't at that stage and its unlikely we'll be there any time soon either

You just said you'd lose interest in any woman that asked you out because she's apparantly crazy...

Do which one is it wanting women to initiate more or not? 

V confusing.

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29 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

You just said you'd lose interest in any woman that asked you out because she's apparantly crazy...

Do which one is it wanting women to initiate more or not? 

V confusing.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Make your mind up mate.

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On 11/30/2017 at 2:31 PM, Theda Baratheon said:

I think they're more scary than fun LOL and I think I will but I don' know how to flirt or what to say when I eventually ask him out hahahah

Just covert date him.  Like, with plausible deniability that it's an actual date.  Tell him "Follow me" one day and lead him somewhere to chat alone.  Even better is just a head gesture in the direction you want him to go.  That worked on me.   :D   I might be easy.  :blink:

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1 hour ago, Theda Baratheon said:

You just said you'd lose interest in any woman that asked you out because she's apparantly crazy...

Do which one is it wanting women to initiate more or not? 

V confusing.

Not really. I'm saying it would be nice to live in a world where that sort of thing was accepted. But we don't and I think there are reasons why that is the case.

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