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Datepalm

Dating: to play the part of the one who doesn't wait

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12 hours ago, Kelli Fury said:

Wow, Larry, that sucks bad. You gotta get out of there stat. But, fall on the side of not your business. Your feelings can't be helped and are totally understandable but don't get mad at them, they're adults and not property. Get out of there, keep your distance if it helps (and I think it will), but feeling wronged is only going to make things worse for you going forward. Professing your undying love is nearly always a terrible idea. Stoically walk into the sunset with your dog

This was going to be my advice, but Kelli has such a way with words that I'm just gonna quote her instead. Good luck Larry. 

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11 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

Thanks, you're on point, and that's how it played out today.  The rest of that stuff is pretty much the garbage that blows erratically across the alleyways of my mind, eventually it all comes to rest behind a dumpster, or is blown clear to the freeing streets, or consumed by an overfed raccoon or possum.  Not sure which category that falls into but I went from the 'Worst Place Imaginable' last night/ this AM to 'Onto The Next Mountain With The Dingo' tonight.

Wow.  I have to say if your friend was aware of your situation that's not someone with whom I would want to remain friends.  I also agree that stoically walking into the sunset is your best option.  

 

Edited by Ser Scot A Ellison

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He was aware.  He's a friend I hang out with all the time and we have had many conversations about the nature of our relationships with our respective SO's.  Specifically that while the ex and I weren't together other than as roommates, best friends, and occasional lovers, we'd keep our other love interests outside of our social circle.  

 

Now that I've cooled off I don't have anywhere near as much animosity about the whole thing, and that's fading to.  A little distance and perspective  makes my initial post sounds  kind of crazy and angry and I'm glad I was able to share that here instead of bubbling up to one of them directly.  They must really like each other to have done this considering the circumstances, so that's something.  

 Really glad I didn't see him the first 24 hours after I found out I'm sure I would have said things I'd later regret.  And I don't want to be stupid-frustrated-angry--macho-douche-guy.  The last thing I need to do is spend time and energy being upset about other people trying to find a decent relationship.  I hope they are both happy.

Heading up to the white mts this afternoon to hike around till Monday.  Thanks for the support everyone. 

 

 

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2 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

He was aware.  He's a friend I hang out with all the time and we have had many conversations about the nature of our relationships with our respective SO's.  Specifically that while the ex and I weren't together other than as roommates, best friends, and occasional lovers, we'd keep our other love interests outside of our social circle.  

 

Now that I've cooled off I don't have anywhere near as much animosity about the whole thing, and that's fading to.  A little distance and perspective  makes my initial post sounds  kind of crazy and angry and I'm glad I was able to share that here instead of bubbling up to one of them directly.  They must really like each other to have done this considering the circumstances, so that's something.  

 Really glad I didn't see him the first 24 hours after I found out I'm sure I would have said things I'd later regret.  And I don't want to be stupid-frustrated-angry--macho-douche-guy.  The last thing I need to do is spend time and energy being upset about other people trying to find a decent relationship.  I hope they are both happy.

Heading up to the white mts this afternoon to hike around till Monday.  Thanks for the support everyone. 

 

 

Larry, I'm so sorry for all the drama and pain you've been experiencing.  I'm glad you've gained a little perspective.

I still think Kelli's advice is spot on.  Move on, and let it go as quickly as you can.  Sending tons of love and hugs to you.  

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Larry, I feel your pain. Both of them, having mashed fingers with hammers also. Time away will help and things will get better over time. Stay strong , friend,  stay strong.

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4 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

He was aware.  He's a friend I hang out with all the time and we have had many conversations about the nature of our relationships with our respective SO's.  Specifically that while the ex and I weren't together other than as roommates, best friends, and occasional lovers, we'd keep our other love interests outside of our social circle.  

 

Now that I've cooled off I don't have anywhere near as much animosity about the whole thing, and that's fading to.  A little distance and perspective  makes my initial post sounds  kind of crazy and angry and I'm glad I was able to share that here instead of bubbling up to one of them directly.  They must really like each other to have done this considering the circumstances, so that's something.  

 Really glad I didn't see him the first 24 hours after I found out I'm sure I would have said things I'd later regret.  And I don't want to be stupid-frustrated-angry--macho-douche-guy.  The last thing I need to do is spend time and energy being upset about other people trying to find a decent relationship.  I hope they are both happy.

Heading up to the white mts this afternoon to hike around till Monday.  Thanks for the support everyone. 

 

 

The situation really sucks and you were totally valid in your anger but I'm glad you're already feeling that fading. Sorry this has happened mate, but second everyone else - spending time with the doggo away from everything sounds awesome and you'll be so glad you didn't unleash any verbal assaults on either of them. 

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Larry, I know You're off hiking right now, and that's really the best thing in the world you can do.  I just wanted to let you know I'm proud of you for venting here.  As Kelli said, you can't control your feelings and you're allowed to feel whatever you want.  The situation sucks. That said, we all know you, man, and I know you'd regret blowing your stack.

When my ex and I broke up, I lost a really good mutual friend in the process.  Several, actually.  One of them was his constant companion for months.  He paraded her all over town taking her to do fun stuff he wouldn't ever do with me. The worst part was everyone asking me if they were dating. Every. Fucking. Time. I went anywhere.  It sucked.  I ended up moving to a new neighborhood to get away from it.  

Hang in there man.  It gets better.  Took me 7 YEARS to find somebody worth my time, but it was fucking worth the wait.  In the meantime I had a lot of damn fun.  Someday I'll tell you about the two travelling French men I picked up on a work night.  GODDAMN I was tired in the morning.

I love you man.  PM any of us if you need to vent.  If you don't still have my number, lemme know.  Have fun in the woods.

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6 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

Larry, I know You're off hiking right now, and that's really the best thing in the world you can do.  I just wanted to let you know I'm proud of you for venting here.  As Kelli said, you can't control your feelings and you're allowed to feel whatever you want.  The situation sucks. That said, we all know you, man, and I know you'd regret blowing your stack.

When my ex and I broke up, I lost a really good mutual friend in the process.  Several, actually.  One of them was his constant companion for months.  He paraded her all over town taking her to do fun stuff he wouldn't ever do with me. The worst part was everyone asking me if they were dating. Every. Fucking. Time. I went anywhere.  It sucked.  I ended up moving to a new neighborhood to get away from it.  

Hang in there man.  It gets better.  Took me 7 YEARS to find somebody worth my time, but it was fucking worth the wait.  In the meantime I had a lot of damn fun.  Someday I'll tell you about the two travelling French men I picked up on a work night.  GODDAMN I was tired in the morning.

I love you man.  PM any of us if you need to vent.  If you don't still have my number, lemme know.  Have fun in the woods.

LOL, why am I not surprised.

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So I added this to my Tinder profile and have experienced about 1000% increase in people messaging me:

"Guess my dog's name and win a date"

 

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41 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

So I added this to my Tinder profile and have experienced about 1000% increase in people messaging me:

"Guess my dog's name and win a date"

 

Sweet!!!  Very original, Larry.  Good job.

My class reunion is this weekend.  I will get to answer 800 gagillion questions about what happened to my ex-husband and me.  Good times.  :blink:

 

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1 hour ago, Elder Sister said:

Sweet!!!  Very original, Larry.  Good job.

My class reunion is this weekend.  I will get to answer 800 gagillion questions about what happened to my ex-husband and me.  Good times.  :blink:

 

Just pull the ol' Claire Underwood and ask them if they ever regretted getting married (paraphrased), while talking about your adventures during your freedom.

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1 hour ago, Elder Sister said:

Sweet!!!  Very original, Larry.  Good job.

My class reunion is this weekend.  I will get to answer 800 gagillion questions about what happened to my ex-husband and me.  Good times.  :blink:

 

Bemuse them with your brilliance and have a wonderful time!

 

Eta:. Most of the response I've received in the past were asking "what's is your dog's name" so I feel like I'm just indulging the existing curiosity in a fun way

Eta2:. So glad the mantis from space ghost av is back!

Edited by larrytheimp

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Go back enough iterations of this thread, and there's the sad tale of my date with that guy from the train who was boring, took me to the park and tried to make out but was somehow surprised when I burst out laughing and went home. Yesterday he comes up to me at a cafe, insists he knows me from 'somewhere' and how have I been, tells me we absolutely have never gone out, and can he have my number. No, come on, he's sure I'll have time. No, he's not going to go away. He's sure it'll be fun. Just to chat. No, we definitely neve went out, what, us? My number then, please. Still standing there. Jesus.

Half an hour later, Chemistry-PhD-Indian-Guy gets on the same empty bus as me. Mercifully, this one sticks to a polite shared smile and subsequent utter silence. He was a good one, that one. Speaks abut six langauges and knows how not to talk in all of them.

I've made out with like four people in the world - what did I do to have the karma of running into 50% of them on the same street?

Edited by Datepalm

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5 hours ago, Datepalm said:

Go back enough iterations of this thread, and there's the sad tale of my date with that guy from the train who was boring, took me to the park and tried to make out but was somehow surprised when I burst out laughing and went home. Yesterday he comes up to me at a cafe, insists he knows me from 'somewhere' and how have I been, tells me we absolutely have never gone out, and can he have my number. No, come on, he's sure I'll have time. No, he's not going to go away. He's sure it'll be fun. Just to chat. No, we definitely neve went out, what, us? My number then, please. Still standing there. Jesus.

Half an hour later, Chemistry-PhD-Indian-Guy gets on the same empty bus as me. Mercifully, this one sticks to a polite shared smile and subsequent utter silence. He was a good one, that one. Speaks abut six langauges and knows how not to talk in all of them.

I've made out with like four people in the world - what did I do to have the karma of running into 50% of them on the same street?

Damn DP, that is ridiculous on all counts.

 

 I lol'ed at the speaks six languages and knows how to not talk in all of them.

 

Was the boring guy with no memory the dude who claimed to be really into urban planning?

 

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7 hours ago, Datepalm said:

Go back enough iterations of this thread, and there's the sad tale of my date with that guy from the train who was boring, took me to the park and tried to make out but was somehow surprised when I burst out laughing and went home. Yesterday he comes up to me at a cafe, insists he knows me from 'somewhere' and how have I been, tells me we absolutely have never gone out, and can he have my number. No, come on, he's sure I'll have time. No, he's not going to go away. He's sure it'll be fun. Just to chat. No, we definitely neve went out, what, us? My number then, please. Still standing there. Jesus.

Half an hour later, Chemistry-PhD-Indian-Guy gets on the same empty bus as me. Mercifully, this one sticks to a polite shared smile and subsequent utter silence. He was a good one, that one. Speaks abut six langauges and knows how not to talk in all of them.

I've made out with like four people in the world - what did I do to have the karma of running into 50% of them on the same street?

Had any fun platonic encounters with men?

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11 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

 

Was the boring guy with no memory the dude who claimed to be really into urban planning?

 

Yes, i thinik so! HOW do you remember this?! And, if I recall (WHY WOULD I RECALL?) plodding and lengthy opinions on EU membership.

9 hours ago, Red Tiger said:

Had any fun platonic encounters with men?

Sure, plenty. Some of my closest friends at the moment are guys. We hang out. We do stuff. Its fun. Are you saying this some kind of balancing of the scales? Have a decent time with men as friends, therefore be awkwardly reminded of what a catastrophe dating them is?

8 hours ago, Starkess said:

:lol: The universe is a dick.

Or that.

BTW, I ended up giving repeat-guy my number, because at that point I wasn't sure how to make him go away. My phone is off about 80% of the time, to be honest, because I can't be bothered to charge it, but if he does call, now I wonder how meanly I'll be willing to tell him to lose my number...

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