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The Rules Of Ice And Fire


Adam Targaryen

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Okay so I was reading up on 4chan and the old "Rules of the Internet" meme/thingy (I'm hoping at least some of you have heard of this) and had a great idea: I decided to make a similar set of rules for ASOIAF/GOT. To clarify, the "Rules of the internet" are humoristical guidelines or rules, often filled with nonsense, sarcasm and references that only a few people of a certain Internet subculture would understand(You may, for example, have heard about "Rule 34", which is possibly the most famous one). If you'd like to know more about the "Rules of the internet" I suggest looking them up on knowyourmeme.com. Anyways, I on my hand have based my set of rules on "Game of Thrones", "A Song Of Ice And Fire", the fandom as a whole and various internet groups and forums (especially asoiaf.westeros.org). Please read them if you're interested and feel free to add your own ones or spread this around the web

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THE RULES OF ICE AND FIRE

1. You do not talk about asoiaf.westeros.org

2. You do NOT talk about asoiaf.westeros.org

3. Valar Morghulis

4. R+L=J

5. Everyone has to love Tyrion and everything about him

6. D&D are idiots and you could write the show better yourself. No exceptions.

7. If you are going to say what you think in a post/comment, you are legally obliged to include one of the following phrases: ”Personally", ”IMHO”,  ”I completely respect your view on the subject, however...”, "This is just my opinion...”,

8. There are no real rules about posting

9. There are no real rules about moderation either - enjoy your ban

10. If you enjoy what GoT became after season four - DON'T

11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored

12. Anything you say can and will be used against you

13. Anything you say can be twisted into something else - fixed

14. Do not argue with trolls - it means that they win

15. You can never be sure of what’s trolling and what’s tinfoil

16. Trolling can become tinfoil and tinfoil can become trolling

17. Tinfoil can easily become canonized at any given time, depending on how much David Benioff’s had to drink the night before

18. The more honourable and just a character is, the bigger the chances he/she’ll get killed off

19. The North Remembers.

20. The web is dark, and full of spoilers

21. You must despise the showplebs.

22. Always rely on abbreviations when posting. It takes way too much time and effort to write ”Iron Throne”.

23. If you in any way touch on the difference between men and women in Planetos, the entire thread will explode into a huge discussion on equality, even though everyone on the forum have the same opinions

24. The existence of an extensive and infected debate in the comment section below confirms this rule.

25. It’s not actually called Planetos, you dumb showpleb

26. Everyone who is ”Freerider” or below is a noob.

27. If someone has eight dots and a stupid selfmade title on asoiaf, then you are not worthy and should kneel before you adress them.

28. Also, they have no life whatsoever.

29. If there is a trivial detail about the way a character spits, there's a theory on it

30. Every theory has already been discussed a thousand times before and your comment will add nothing 

31. EXPLICIT PROOF IN THE TEXT or GTFO - The choice is yours

32. Everyone is a secret Targaryen

33. Lurk Moar.

34. If two characters exist, there is adult fanfiction about them

35. If two characters exist and there isn’t any adult fanfiction about them, there will be soon

36. If there are five thousand people drooling over a shipping, there are twenty thousand people who will be more than content to waste four hours of their spare time bashing said shipping and explaining everything that’s wrong with it everytime it comes up

37. All the Starks are dead.

38. Jeyne Poole is fine too

39. No matter how much you may despise a fellow fan, remember that we are all members of a master-race and superior to all other fandoms.

40. You know nothing

41. Neither does anyone else

42. Literally every possible way that ASOIAF could end would be too cliché and will therefore not happen

43. The entire world of ASOIAF is based on GRRM’s childhood H.P. Lovecraft-fetish, and there is NOTHING you can do about it.

44. ”General” sucks today.

45. No, noone has ever seen the fucking pilot. Only the freezeframe of the Mad King that’s been passed around the web like an old joint and a still of Ian McNeice as Illyrio.

46. No, noone anywhere has a link to that original quote by GRRM

47. The pool is always closed

48. Incest is only wrong and disgusting when Lannisters do it

49. Stannis Baratheon is the one true king of Westeros. You will bend the knee or he’ll destroy you.

50. Harrenhal was an inside job, dragonfire can’t melt stone towers!

51. George R. R. Martin is NOT YOUR BITCH!!!

52. Daenerys*

53. Rhaegar*

54. Rhaella*

55. Aerys*

56. Jaehaerys*

57. Targaryen*

58. ”Winds” will definitely be out this year. Like every year.

59. The Others take D&D

60. If Tyrion dies, we riot.

61. It’s totally not a blog, trust him.

62. Varys is a merman. For real this time.

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Hi Adam, and welcome to the board.

You seem to have posted a strongly book-related thread to a part of the board (sometimes called South of the Wall) where most posters have lost interested in book-related matters more than a decade ago. (Apparently there is now even a TV show.)

This can be a somewhat harrowing experience that does not always show the finest side of the personality of the denizens of this board. The moderators will probably move you to a safe location.

You’re welcome to join us in matters of US politics of the topology of the Ottoman empire anytime you like!

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1 minute ago, Happy Ent said:

You’re welcome to join us in matters of US politics of the topology of the Ottoman empire anytime you like!

And the existence or otherwise of Wales. Also, please bear in mind that the security situation in Europe may only be discussed in the US Politics thread. 

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1 hour ago, Happy Ent said:

Hi Adam, and welcome to the board.

You seem to have posted a strongly book-related thread to a part of the board (sometimes called South of the Wall) where most posters have lost interested in book-related matters more than a decade ago. (Apparently there is now even a TV show.)

This can be a somewhat harrowing experience that does not always show the finest side of the personality of the denizens of this board. The moderators will probably move you to a safe location.

You’re welcome to join us in matters of US politics of the topology of the Ottoman empire anytime you like!

Hello and thankyou for letting me know. However, where would you then say my post fits in? General (ASOIAF) or maybe the Forum Games?

4 minutes ago, Iskaral Pust said:

I thought this was closer to FG and would end up south of South of the Wall.  Is FG the Summer Isles then?

Yes, I kind of thought so as well

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7 minutes ago, Adam Targaryen said:

Hello and thankyou for letting me know. However, where would you then say my post fits in? General (ASOIAF) or maybe the Forum Games?

Yes, I kind of thought so as well

Good question.    General (ASOIAF)  will get you more traffic and people posting more book/show related content.  but it may be considered too spammy and be sent to games.   Games does end up with a lot of these type of threads,  oh and who would win a fight between X and Y

 

If its posted in games,  you are likely to get a few replies before the thread dies and is forgotten.  Games is not called the graveyard for no reason.   It also suffers from the "most of the people that post there, have been here long enough that they no longer post about book/show"

If you want the thread to survive in Games you need a lot less Book/show related rules to start with and include or invite more general ones relating to the location you are in and board history.   It will be hard to get the balance right.

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3 minutes ago, WaffleSausage said:

Good question.    General (ASOIAF)  will get you more traffic and people posting more book/show related content.  but it may be considered too spammy and be sent to games.   Games does end up with a lot of these type of threads,  oh and who would win a fight between X and Y

 

If its posted in games,  you are likely to get a few replies before the thread dies and is forgotten.  Games is not called the graveyard for no reason.   It also suffers from the "most of the people that post there, have been here long enough that they no longer post about book/show"

If you want the thread to survive in Games you need a lot less Book/show related rules to start with and include or invite more general ones relating to the location you are in and board history.   It will be hard to get the balance right.

Okay, thankyou. Possibly moronic question: How do I remove this thread, then? I don't know if I've ever encountered a way to remove one's own thread

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1 minute ago, Adam Targaryen said:

Okay, thankyou. Possibly moronic question: How do I remove this thread, then? I don't know if I've ever encountered a way to remove one's own thread

You don't have to delete it.   - you may get some responses here and learn about the culture and board history of Gen Chat.   (it may or may not get helpful responses.)

 you could PM a mod  and ask them to move or close the thread.  

 

or report your post - its the essayist way to hold of a mod and it gives them a direct link to this thread.   if you do it on your own and ask them,  they will be very helpful.   and no you won't get any warning points or negative stuff from reporting your own post.    If you do this I suggest the opening post.

 

and I want to say sorry for my first response.  it was not very welcoming of me.

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1 hour ago, Iskaral Pust said:

I thought this was closer to FG and would end up south of South of the Wall.  Is FG the Summer Isles then?

 I like this comparison. FG are relaxed, with slightly less strict rules and somewhat ... away from all the rest.

Adam, you are also always welcome to join us in Games, of course - as far as I know, the Waffle here is just looking for new tributes, errrr, players for a round of Westerosi pictionary!

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4 minutes ago, Buckwheat said:

 I like this comparison. FG are relaxed, with slightly less strict rules and somewhat ... away from all the rest.

Adam, you are also always welcome to join us in Games, of course - as far as I know, the Waffle here is just looking for new tributes, errrr, players for a round of Westerosi pictionary!

I am always looking for new volunteers for pictionary.     - no drawing skill required, just a sense of humor.

 

and I was unusally grouchy earlier.  I normally hug people and not take pot shots at the undeserving.

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2 hours ago, Hereward said:

And the existence or otherwise of Wales.

Hereward the Wake (circa 1035 - c.1072) was exiled by Edward the confessor the Saxon King of England for denying Crown rule.  To Hereward it was England that did not exist, England had only just become a unified state beginning with Alfred the Great (849 AD - 899 AD).

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1 hour ago, Ormond said:

No, that stopped being funny for me a long time ago. I strongly affirm the existence of Wales.

Me too Ormond! I am Welsh! Im in Wales right now! I know you are an expert with names and Wales has many lovely ones! I'm a Siân !! Can't get much more Welsh than that :P

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