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HelenaExMachina

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I regret not seeking therapy at least 10 years earlier when I should have. Because of that, with me being 26 years old with zero job experience, finding a job that doesn't require anything more than a High School diploma has been difficult to come by. Also, by my age, most employers will be wanting a resume, which I don't have. In my late teenage years, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to transition well into adulthood, and now look what's happening to me. This is my biggest regret.

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10 hours ago, KingintheNorth4 said:

I regret not seeking therapy at least 10 years earlier when I should have. Because of that, with me being 26 years old with zero job experience, finding a job that doesn't require anything more than a High School diploma has been difficult to come by. Also, by my age, most employers will be wanting a resume, which I don't have. In my late teenage years, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to transition well into adulthood, and now look what's happening to me. This is my biggest regret.

You're in your 20's. Still very young. Where do you live? With parents? If so you can still do lots of things. Go back to school - do distance learning. Volunteer somewhere to build up CV etc. What's your situation if you don't mind me asking? It isn't hopeless :)

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22 hours ago, KingintheNorth4 said:

I regret not seeking therapy at least 10 years earlier when I should have. Because of that, with me being 26 years old with zero job experience, finding a job that doesn't require anything more than a High School diploma has been difficult to come by. Also, by my age, most employers will be wanting a resume, which I don't have. In my late teenage years, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to transition well into adulthood, and now look what's happening to me. This is my biggest regret.

I feel very similar. I dropped out of high school and had no meaningful education or work experience until my early/mid-twenties when I finally did go to college. I often feel stunted because of all those years I sunk into my depression, both professionally and in terms of meaningful skills. I get a lot of enjoyment doing creative things like writing, but most of the people I know who are also into these things have been refining their skills since they were teenagers. I also feel sometimes like I missed out on a lot of the stupid bullshit that people do when they're younger.

That all being said, I also feel a lot better trying to move forward with these things now than I did before. And I don't really want children, so I also feel like I have a bit of breathing room to really figure things out.

You're still young, and there's still plenty of time to do what you want, depending on what your goals are. One thing I can say is that if you're able to do it, college is a great place to figure things out. You won't be anywhere near the oldest person in most of your classes. The youngest in any of my college classes was 17 and the oldest was in her 70s. You'll find plenty of other people in your situation, in their late 20s and early 30s. In my experience, students who go to college after taking a few years off do a lot better than the K-Bachelors kids who start their first year after graduating high school.

Just be wary of taking on debt to go. If you're going to be owing a lot of money when you graduate, it's a good idea to pick a career path with decent job prospects. As I said though, it depends what your goals are.

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On 10/7/2017 at 5:52 AM, Theda Baratheon said:

You're in your 20's. Still very young. Where do you live? With parents? If so you can still do lots of things. Go back to school - do distance learning. Volunteer somewhere to build up CV etc. What's your situation if you don't mind me asking? It isn't hopeless :)

I'm currently living with my mother. I thought about going back to school this semester (I'm a part time student, so I don't have to worry about student loans) but ever since my mother was let go from her job, money has been pretty tight around here. What does CV stand for? My situation is that I'm a homebody that has only practiced filling out a couple of applications with zero job experience. I told some family members that if they ever needed help around their house and yard and have the money to pay me, that they can call me anytime. 

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CV = curriculum vitae, aka a résumé. In the States, we use CV mostly for academia or other high-level hires that would need more than a single page to summarize their professional qualifications (usually CVs are used to list publications, etc). Most people only need résumés, which should never be more than one page. "CV" is used elsewhere in the English-speaking world to cover both types of document. 

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On 10/6/2017 at 8:31 PM, KingintheNorth4 said:

I regret not seeking therapy at least 10 years earlier when I should have. Because of that, with me being 26 years old with zero job experience, finding a job that doesn't require anything more than a High School diploma has been difficult to come by. Also, by my age, most employers will be wanting a resume, which I don't have. In my late teenage years, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to transition well into adulthood, and now look what's happening to me. This is my biggest regret.

Not gonna lie, I'm nearing mid 30's and sometimes I still feel like this, as though I've wasted all of this time and that there's no hope of getting that time back.  I get stuck thinking about all of my regrets and wishing for do-overs of my teen years or my 20's.  If only I had known then what I know now, maybe I wouldn't have wasted so much time being ill.  

I think a major problem with society is that they make you feel like there's only one way to adult.  You're supposed to follow this one path where you come out the other end with a resume and some sort career.  It's not for everyone, but there aren't many alternatives for those who aren't interested in typical adulting.  You can find a partner who will financially support you, you can try to find a way to apply for disability and be supported by the state, or some other avenue that will feed, house and entertain you.  But it's not like there are many options for that.  I'm sorry.  Hopefully in the near future we'll have universal basic income.  

Edited by Dr. Pepper

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Small progress update: I went to the GP this morning, sat and waited for an appointment. I struck lucky, and got a GP who was most helpful to me when I was regularly seeing them for medication reviews around 6-7 years ago. She was very kind and when I had briefly explained why I was there she set aside enough time for a double appointment so we wouldn't be disturbed. Had a good long chat, she asked a nurse to do some tests and checks (height, weight, bloods) and will phone me when the results are in to organise another appointment (because there is absolutely no doubt I will need some kind of vitamins etc...something I didn't mention before was the blood donors had to turn me away because my fingerprick didn't float so my iron is low and I can't donate for a year). 

Other than that, we just had a talk, didn't put me on anti-depressants (I told her I was wary of going on them again) but getting me to commit to another appointment and monitoring of bloods and weight was a good step. She's also going to try and get me referred to a therapist so we'll see how things go I suppose. 

 

@KingintheNorth4 I am the biggest hypocrite in the world for saying this but 26 is not too old to change things. You have so much of your life ahead of you, and as ours have said you can still get that education and experience you need to pursue a higher level career or whatever it is you want to do. A part of me wonders if I should not have taken a break before/during uni to focus on my health but that ship has sailed now. It was not pleasant though, dealing with a myriad of MH issues and the stress of uni, debt and part-time work. The best of luck with whatever you decide to do, and remember to focus on your health and wellbeing over what you think is expected of you. 

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that's good news @HelenaExMachina. :)

I had a hellish weekend back at home, the first time I've seen my mom since my dad died. I feel like everything I did was a failure. I am glad that I signed up for therapy because holy shit, if I didn't need it before, I definitely need it now.

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On ‎10‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 0:22 PM, HelenaExMachina said:

Small progress update: I went to the GP this morning, sat and waited for an appointment. I struck lucky, and got a GP who was most helpful to me when I was regularly seeing them for medication reviews around 6-7 years ago. She was very kind and when I had briefly explained why I was there she set aside enough time for a double appointment so we wouldn't be disturbed. Had a good long chat, she asked a nurse to do some tests and checks (height, weight, bloods) and will phone me when the results are in to organise another appointment (because there is absolutely no doubt I will need some kind of vitamins etc...something I didn't mention before was the blood donors had to turn me away because my fingerprick didn't float so my iron is low and I can't donate for a year). 

Other than that, we just had a talk, didn't put me on anti-depressants (I told her I was wary of going on them again) but getting me to commit to another appointment and monitoring of bloods and weight was a good step. She's also going to try and get me referred to a therapist so we'll see how things go I suppose. 

 

Sounds like it was a good appointment!

When I had the surgery for the cancer on my face, I bled excessively, so much so that the doctor commented that I was in the top 1% of bleeders not on blood thinners that he has ever worked on.  He's a plastic surgeon who specializes/deals in these types of things several times a day, so it wasn't just the normal "faces tend to bleed more" things.

Turns out that I am B-12 deficient (from long term use of antacids). Not eating much red meat is another cause (not mine though, I eat lots, but people who don't can have low iron too).  I looked up the issues that can result from low B-12 and depression, anxiety and even psychosis can result.  So I'm glad you did a blood work up too.

I started taking 1000mcg of B-12 this month, so I'm hoping they help some too. My doctor said that multi-vitamins and even B-complex ones don't really contain much B-12, so a supplement that is just B-12 should be taken.

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16 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

I def am anemic and B-12 deficient and don't do enough to help myself 

Look for a soy milk that is B-12 fortified if you can't get around to buying/taking B-12 supplements. And pumpkin seeds have a decent amount of iron...

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5 hours ago, Weeping Sore said:

Look for a soy milk that is B-12 fortified if you can't get around to buying/taking B-12 supplements. And pumpkin seeds have a decent amount of iron...

Thanks - will look into that.

I lay down for an hour today at like 4pm just because I wanted to be warm and comfy. I went and lay in bed cwtched up in my quilt.

 

Is that bad? I had no depressive thoughts with it just tired and wanted to be warm and comfy 

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13 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

Thanks - will look into that.

I lay down for an hour today at like 4pm just because I wanted to be warm and comfy. I went and lay in bed cwtched up in my quilt.

 

Is that bad? I had no depressive thoughts with it just tired and wanted to be warm and comfy 

Nah nothing wrong with just wanting a comfy lie down!

Unless it turns into not moving for 2 days.

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6 hours ago, lessthanluke said:

Nah nothing wrong with just wanting a comfy lie down!

Unless it turns into not moving for 2 days.

I keep doing it but only for like an hour or less at a time.  I do find it difficult to wake up. Not having any depressive thoughts at all. In fact I havent really had any in ages I'm just so low energy all the time 

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On ‎10‎/‎13‎/‎2017 at 0:12 PM, Theda Baratheon said:

I keep doing it but only for like an hour or less at a time.  I do find it difficult to wake up. Not having any depressive thoughts at all. In fact I havent really had any in ages I'm just so low energy all the time 

I don't have "depressive thoughts" most of the time...in fact, I have very few thoughts or feelings when I'm not actively working on something. I posted a meme on facebook once that shows the feelings of depression (anxiety, et al) and 50% of it was "nothing" (I don't think I can find it at work).  I think one of the biggest misconceptions about major depressive disorder is that a person always has depressive thoughts (and next biggest is that there is an external reason why you feel that way).

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On 10/13/2017 at 0:12 PM, Theda Baratheon said:

I keep doing it but only for like an hour or less at a time.  I do find it difficult to wake up. Not having any depressive thoughts at all. In fact I havent really had any in ages I'm just so low energy all the time 

The benefits of napping are well documented.  Not saying you don't have a vitamin deficiency or trying to wave away any mental health concerns you have.  But an hour or less of napping can be a great thing for all day alertness!

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I started seeing a therapist a few months ago, and while it is slow going sometimes, it is actually starting to make a difference. My anxiety is getting a little better, but perhaps it would be nice to have another outlet.

Lately I've realized that I've been feeling lonely, which isn't normally a big deal, but almost two months with little to no contact with folks who aren't family or co-workers is starting to get to me. My biggest problem is that I have this little itty bitty issue with being horribly insecure which feeds into my anxiety. I constantly feel like my very presence is an imposition, like me just being around is bothersome, even for those who I know enjoy my company, and never mind someone I don't know.

Now lets hope this doesn't decend into a bout of depression (aaaaaand now suddenly I'm getting anxious it already has).

Edited by GrimTuesday

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I'm so angry right now.  I'm even more pissed that my efforts to communicate have been a complete fail lately.  I seriously feel like I need some kind of a translator.  Time to see if the therapist will take me back, because it's only Thursday and I'm so mad I can't sleep in my own house.

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