How would you rate episode 701?

[Frances Bean Corbray]

Okay let's seriously (wink wink) try to figure out my score for this week.  Now, as Ian MacShane famously said, it's just Tits And Dragons, so lets use that as our baseline. Were there Dragons this week?  YES. Were there tits?  NO.  Okay, since only half the show formula is present, our baseline is 5 out of 10.

No Theon?  full point deduction.  Alfie Allen is putting in one of the best acting performances on the show and you're gonna leave him on the bench on Opening Day?  Pfffffffffffffffffffffff. (4)

Gratuitous WHITE WALKER SHOT complete with zombie giants.  Half Point bonus.  Season 7 is here, it's time for regular reminders of The Real Shit. (4.5)

NO SAND SNAKES.  Also, Dany was almost virtually silent,  I think this, together, is worth a full point. (5.5)

Throwing book readers a bone by having an Alys Karstark show up, I'll give that Plus Half-Point. (6)

Arya killing a bunch of Freys is nice but even the long layoff won't let me forget that's technically two episodes in a row with that now.  Also she forgot to bust Uncle Edmure out of prison after killing all the captors.  Again.  You'll notice this is becoming a bit of a thing for me.  Also, she had a chance to kill Ed Sheeran and did not.  Of course she has not left his company yet so there's still hope.  I'm gonna call this a WASH, but I reserve the right to retroactively change this to a half point deduction if she does not eventually Kill Ed Sheeran.

Beep.  Boop.  Bran Bot Is Talking.  Beep Boop.  I should probably take half a point off here, but Meera gave her dad a shoutout and Edd put in appearance.  Also it kinda looked like he was trying to escape the show under the pretext of STEPPING OUT TO TAKE A LOOK like he's gonna up and see the Walkers with his naked eye or whatever.  I support Edd running away from this show and finding Parallel Universe Game Of Thrones where he gets more lines.  I'll give this a WASH.

SURPRISE.  Jorah is at the Citadel in all his Greyscale glory.  I like this potential very much.  Full Point. (7)

Sam Tarly the world's fattest ninja steals the key to the SUPER IMPORTANT ARCHIVES in which he finds... shit he already knew.  And Gilly had to remind him.  Jon already knows about the Dragonglass, Edd already knows about the Dragonglass, folks know Dragonstone has a fuckton of it.  Little Sam is 5 years old and doesn't look a day over 1 And A Half.  The Citadel must have good skin moisturizer in ample supply.  Minus 3/4ths of a point.  Should be a full point, probably, but the bedpan shit montage was kinda funny. (6.25)

Fredo, you're my brother, and I love you, but don't ever take side against the family again.  Sansa and Jon disagreeing makes sense.  Sansa and Jon butting heads makes sense.  Sansa's more worried about Cersei, Jon's more worried about The White Walkers.  Their difference of opinion is reasonable and hey, they had the weakest sibling relationship among the Stark kids growing up anyway.  Sansa trying to make Jon look like a chump in front of the Northern Lords makes little sense.  She seems like she should know better, and that we should've seen them have that conversation PRIVATELY, before or after the address.  Not that the after conversation they did have was much better.  Let's namedrop all the COOL VILLAINS who aren't on the show anymore.  EDGELORDZZZZZZZZZ.  Maybe emulating complete evil assholes is...good? BOTH SIDES DO IT M I RITE.  Who wants to do some kamikaze shots of bleach with me?

By the way, what's dumber than letting Pedofinger still creep around Winterfell?  Having Brienne juggernaut her way through the fourth wall like the Kool Aid Man AND DRAW THE AUDIENCE'S ATTENTION TO HOW DUMB IT IS THAT HE'S STILL HANGING AROUND.  OH YEAHHH!!!!!  Sansa's excuse for keeping him around is, as usual, weaksauce. "We need his army."  You still have that army with Lord Royce and you KNOW this, Sansa.  Either have her side with LF and turn on Jon or finally have her turn on LF, just don't drag it.  Sansa's regressing again and mayhaps it is just my imagination but Sophie Turner seemed to give a couple fewer fucks as the character regression is getting to her as an actor.

But Jon is still my dude.  "Arm EVERYONE age 10 to 16."  Damn right the girls too.  The Real Shit is coming, fuck the old rules, we need to survive and there's no time for anyone to be riding the bench.  Inspired by Jon's mercy, I will show mercy myself and deduct only a quarter point, over all. (6)

THE HOUND I guess is officially Down With BWB.  I am okay with this.  I am also okay with no Lady Stoneheart because Beric was cooler anyway and I'm glad the show is keeping him around.  Coming across the same homestead Sandor mugged in Season 4 is a little coincidental, but whatever, we get some DEVELOPMENT for The Hound so that's okay.  Isn't reading the flames supposed to be, like, hard?  Didn't Melisandre have to practice this shit for years?  Well, I guess in retrospect she did kinda suck at it.  Anyway Sandor being a fucking virtuoso flame reader is kinda stretching the bonds of disbelief suspension, but whatever, he sees The Real Shit and knows what's up now.  That's fine.  I guess I'll go WASH because I like Beric, even when he's going CSI in the middle ages on some dessicated corpses and kicking my immersion in the genitals.

HEY LOOK IT'S CAPTAIN JACK SPARROhnowaitmymistake.  Okay there were brief moments where I thought I could hear echoes of the real Euron Greyjoy.  And I guess it works if you run with the idea that he's just giving Cersei the B.S. he knows she wants to hear.  And at least they didn't fuck around with building to this alliance and just got it over with in Episode 1.  But half point deduction for no Qyburn, and I'm being generous.  (5.5) 

So 5.5.  I guess I'll go up to 6 because I'm in a good mood because the show is back and I tend to like the things I like more than I hate the things I hate.

 

[Argonath Diver]

Sam scenes were awful (though our party did get our first "shot for the first nudity" in one. Ed Sheeran was dreadfully obvious and terrible - why not just have them fucking break out cans of Pepsi?. But Arya slaughtering an entire house was holy-shit worthy, Tormund's hilarious face was paused and re-watched at our party, and, damn, the Hound was so damn good. Give Rory a damn Emmy or a Teen Beat or something god fuck sake.

Coulda been a 10, coulda been a 6. 8 for me, maybe 9 just for Arya.

[Kira]

8. decent for an opener 

[The Scabbard Of the Morning]

5, nothing great, a few good scenes, a few awful scenes  and a mostly meh scenes.

[Rhollo]

A lot of recapping/set-up. A bit clumsily written at times, too. Like Cersei explaining the political situation to Jamie as the audience avatar or Arya!Walder retelling the RW to "his" sons.

But there was nothing jarringly stupid, so given the standard the show has set with the recent seasons, it was decent. I give it a 6.

[robasp2]

Filler episode..

Meh..

[TyrionFan82]

I gave this a solid 8. Like others have said I want to wait for the 10s later. So here are my reasons:

 

* The opening scene was awesome, we all knew w/the Freys there oh man it's going down! Seeing Arya first was awesome!

*The scenes at The Wall were good in that we see foreshadowing & what might happen there w/Jon, Sansa, etc.

*Cersei & Jamie was nothing special, more set up, which is obvious and I like their thinking both might know what to do. I also liked the tension there w/their kids.

*Being an apprentice master looks gross, I mean give Sam some respect lol! He's got a partner and kid. His find was great and we see things early on converging on Dragonstone.

*Seeing Sandor and Beric was cool but yet to see where it's going.

*It was interesting seeing Arya w/the other Freys & her reactions.

*DANNNNNYYYY! Awesome scene, 'nuff said,

[Mladen]

3 hours ago, Nictarion said:

Solid 8. Dany's homecoming was perfect, the music was on point and the choice to not have dialogue worked well. 

I would agree with you. When the hype of her homecoming is sooo built, the only natural thing, and well smart thing was to tone it down and allow Emilia and Mr Djawadi to do their job. And they did amazing work. 

 

Solid 8 for me... Wasn't a big fan of dragging Citadel either and Sansa/Jon interaction at the Great Hall could have been done better. Generally, I am not the biggest fan of Episodes 1. But this one, due to cast being smaller and smaller, progressed a bit. It wasn't just "remember who these guys were".

[Modesty Lannister]

Before I start, let me be clear. I am trying my very best to divorce this show from GRRM's work. It is not always easy. So, let me start.

- Arya poisoning the Freys. The scene is thoroughly unbelievable. No Frey woman does anything to side with their men?! Not one?! No man is trying to attack "Walder Frey" after realising they have been poisoned?! No drama, no nothing and Arya just walks away. - 1 point

- White walkers leading the army of the dead. A necessary set up scene. Good CGI. We need to be visually reminded. +1 point

- Bran reaching Castle Black. Dialogue nonsensical. Bran did not prove he was a Stark. He proved his was a seer. -1 point

- Jon/Sansa confrontation. Jon's mercy. I liked the sequence and the dialogues. Guess Brian Cogman writes them. They make sense. Lyanna Mormont is as great as ever. I love that girl. Good talk between Jon and Sansa afterwards. Good scene between Sansa and Littlefinger. Good set up for Sansa/Cersei comparison. No need for Tormund/Brienne comedy relief, but hey ... +2 points (one for the indoor and one for the outdoor scene)

- King's Landing: Jamie/Cersei dynamics makes sense after very long time. However, D&D stop short of showing Cersei descending into madness the way George masterfully did. Euron/Jamie/Cersei not bad, but not too good either. 0 point (for both scenes)

- Sam in Old Town: this was excellent. The montage of Sam's everyday chores was brilliant. Maybe a tad longer than necessary, but let's not nitpick. Jim Broadbent cannot disappoint. However, the fact that they said Targaryens used dragonglass for ornaments is nonsensical and damages the narrative. Sam discovering Dragonstone is made of dragonglass is an attempt to tie the narrative from the books that was lost with murders of Mance and Stanis in the show. However, I though this "revelation" is common knowledge amongst the Westerosi aristocracy. Nevertheless, a good sequence. Not too happy with the way they uncovered Mormont straight away. They should have waited for a couple of episodes. + 2 points (+1 for montage, +1 for anatomy lesson, +1 for the library scene, - 1 for dragonglass, 0 for Jorah)

- Arya and Ed the Bard: Giving a human face to the soldiers. Fan service. But, well acted. Ed was good.  0 points

- The Hound and BwB: Everything was excellent. +2 points

- Daenerys arriving at Dragonstone: The best scene in this episode along with Jon's mercy. I liked this slow pace. Emotional. Homecoming. +2 points.

 

In total: 7 points

I liked the pacing, photography, costumes were phenomenal, CGI was where it needed to be. I believe eight episodes might work better than 10. It doesn't give D&D time for stupid cock jokes and fillers, so that Cersei and Tyrion can get more screen time they deserve. This was watchable. Fingers crossed. And forget about the books. One can only weep the second one remembers them. Finish that damn book, George!

[RhaenysBee]

I gave it a 7 and I was understanding and generous. 

- it is absolutely unforgivable that I have to shade my windows, turn off the lights, cover the screen from both sides and still squint for over half a minute to have a clue what is going on in a scene. 

- Why has every single female lead turned into a version of Cersei Lannister?  

- There were lots of fillers and redundant scenes, and weirdly some of them worked much better than scenes with actual importance and plot value. 

- The costume department did one thing and only one thing right this season, Euron Greyjoy. THANK YOU. 

- Ed Sheeran and Arya were the high point of the episode. 

- The Intern Life at the Citadel sequence could have been the second best sequence of the episode if only the snaps were the same length or gradually shortened and then lengthened back. 

- If you aren't going to have dialogue in scene, which was a good idea, btw, you need to level up acting and camera work. 

- the episode basically consisted of three elements: proposition, filler and aggressive characterization. 

Edited July 17, 2017 by RhaenysB

[Philokles]

4.5 (rounded down because I'm spiteful). Terrible dialogue, poor storyline, more butchering of characters from the books and cringeworthy scenes (Sam at the Citadel, Ed Sheeran). A few years ago that would get it a 2, but standards have slipped so much that no major plot holes makes it an almost acceptable episode.

[RUSSELL BELL]

7 hours ago, Dudu42 said:

Went with a 9 here. But could go as low as 8.

I feel this show is getting a tad more predictable. For this show to become GoT again, I think one of the Starks has to die. Horribly. And we will hate it. But really, I think everything is just going too smoothly for the "good guys".

'A Time for Wolves' my friend.. Also that would make no narrative sense at this point. 

[RUSSELL BELL]

9/10. Superb opener. Everything I could hope for. Everything with the Hound was gold. The cold open gave me chills. The dialogue is as sharp as it has ever been. The only part of the episode I didn't like was the Euron seems a bit.. cartoonish but we'll see how he plays over the rest of the season. 

Edited July 17, 2017 by RUSSELL BELL

[PetyrPunkinhead]

No action but so many great character moments. The only downside to this episode for me is the Sam montage of muck went on longer than needed. Episode alone gets an 8 from me, but this episode with Arya's cold open made it a 9. Here's hoping the rest of the season maintains or excels the quality of the opener.

[LyannaStargaryen]

I went with a 7, solid set up premiere episode with some highlights for me, and some weaker points as always.

Liked:

-even if it made her overpowered and perhaps felt a bit redundant since we had that great Walder Frey scene in Season 6, Arya's Frey elimination was still satisfying 

-Dany's very subtle homecoming: beautiful filming and no dialogue was the right way to go, too much bombast might have cheapened the significance and overwhelming emotion of the moment

-Jamie/Cersei relationship complications from post-Baelor blast and then adding in Euron for extra complication  

-the Hound and BwB scene and Arya with Ed Sheeran & the Lannister Army - both scenes not really plot driven but were well acted and highly enjoyable

Disliked

-Oldtown montage was a touch too long and Sam's scenes in general feel like filler (especially gaining information the characters have already had from Stannis!)

-Jon/Sansa dynamic I'm not completely sold on: I understand why they are slightly at odds and even can understand why Sansa would publicly undercut her brother based on who she learned politics and diplomacy from, but I felt those scenes were less strongly written or acted on the whole.  Though I liked her reminding Jon that Ned and Robb had been honorable and just but stupid/trusting, and if he wants to survive he needs to be smarter.

Neutral:

-Bran and Meera arrive at The Wall: short scene with not much hint to Bran's future purpose and intentions, we'll see where this goes

 

[legba11]

7

On the scale of the past two seasons, this was written with craft and subtlety. Maybe D&D have graduated from 7th grade boys to 10th grade boys.

The cold open was probably the lowpoint. It was GREAT to see David Bradley one more time, but this was WWE level spectacle at it's worst.  Two years of watching her train and now she has mystical, never-trained powers of do anything.  Think about what had to happen between killing Frey and this season's cold open.

 

Jon and Sansa's was a ham-fisted dialogue version of a great early season GOT story.  If they had hired real writers to handle this story, it would be awesome (and if Kit could act a little better).

 

Cersei and Jaime was a decently written version of a great scene.  Almost in season 1-3 mode here. NCW is just killing it. Lena is almost as great, but her awful wig is distracting.  It's been a long time, hasn't she had time to grow hair by now?

 

Sam's chamber pot montage.  Did we really need to see this?  It made me wish for the days of gratuitous boobs.  I guess it's better than gratuitous rape scenes.  I liked the autopsy scene.  What is Gilly doing now?  They left her dangling with no place to go and now she is set up and fine... because reasons?

 

Arya's not massacre.  A great idea and scene, again, with better writers it would have been special.  But decently written, at least.  It went too long, but that is probably due to the boring dialogue. 

 

Hound:  GREAT scene until the bizarre deus ex fire prophecy ending.  I was expecting The Hound to end it by laughing at them because he was faking.

 

Castle Black: Good, fun reminders of important characters and what they are doing.   Bran's answer to Edd was bizarre.  Why wouldn't he just say, "Ask Jon to verify who I am."  He doesn't know he left, unless he is getting continuous streams from security cameras all over Westeros.

 

Dragonstone:  So the castle has just sat there empty for years?  And no ship is going in and out of Blackwater Bay?  The traffic cops outside the bay must be doing amazing work to keep the two iron fleets from seeing each other.  Having Emilia Clarke not speak is the best way to get a performance out of her.  Shouldn't a member of team Greyjoy and team Sand been there?

[Ser Quork]

An awful lot of fan-service.  Arya's murder of the rest of the Freys and just walking out.  Nope.  Arbour Gold being red. Tissue faces.  Dumb.

Jon's mercy was good (especially as really only House Mormont was loyal in this version - who would he reward?   I expect they're trying to shoe-horn the Northern houses back to where they would have been without the S5&6 deviations - Alys Karstark and Umbers in place.

Sansa continues to have ridiculously inconsistent characterisation.  Why does LF still breathe when Sansa could just tell Bronze Yohn what LF did? Dumb.

The writers literally fed us crap. I really kinda hate them. Sam finding out what he knew already - dragonglass on Dragonstone. Dumb. Professor Slughorn and the restricted section. Love Jim Broadbent but couldn't they try a little harder to be original?

Ed Sheeran. Ack.

Jamie, Cersei & Cap'n Jack Sparrow. *sigh*  How did he build all those ships so quickly?

No advance guard to check out Dragonstone before the Queen lands/enters?

I liked the Hound's scenes bar his expert fire-reading.

Can't give it more than 4.

 

 

Edited July 17, 2017 by Ser Quork

[Dolorous Gabe]

Gave it 5.

It was better than I expected but my expectations were very low.

[ummester]

@Dudu42 - can't seem to quote you without the reply crashing.

Are you sure you know who the 'good guys' are? Arya and Sansa don't seem that good anymore. I'm not sure Dany will wind up 'good' GRRM recently said in an interview that coming back from the dead always lessens someone - which would include Jon and Beric.

If anyone, I recon Jamie will end up being the 'good guy' after he frees himself by strangling his big sister.

 

Re the episode, I give it 7. It's true that the dialogue is not as good as earlier seasons based on GRRMs writing but then the show will finish and the books probably won't, so you have to take it how you can.

[Guest]

good episode, the odd way time moves still bugs me (no one knows about the white walker army, but Cersei knows immediately of Frey deaths - WEIRD). I like the Ed Sheehan scene, shows that Arya is not going to be just a killer. I also found it weird that the empty Dragonstone was in perfect condition, clean, and had never been ransacked- YEAH, RIGHT. 

 

Overall good episode, but this show needs about twice the episodes left to properly tell the story.