[Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

[Trigger Warning]

"we're fucked" "fuck loyalty" "muh cocks, muh dicks, muh PUSSAY" 

The biggest offender in this show's shit writing is the dialogue now, just compare it to season one it's woeful. 

[MilesJames]

16 minutes ago, Rockroi said:

So, the season finales are never really that great; the "real" season ending episode is usually the penultimate season's episode and this week was sort of similar.  A lot to like, some things to love but, let's be honest, not much has changed.  I mean, look at it this way- if this had been the FOURTH episode of a regular ten-episode season, I don't think we lose much.  I mean, the first few episodes do The Jaime thing at Highgarden; do Jon at Dragonstone; then somehow get a dragon wight and BOOM- you have the same experience.  Anyway

 

I liked...

The Lannisters: Tyrion, Jaime and Cersei, as Usual:  As a general rule, I like most scenes with a Lannisters because they have to be interesting; Starks get to be Nice and Dany gets to have Dragons, but Lannisters have to actually be interesting without either fan-fav status or ... again, Dragons.  And while Dany + Jon is about as compelling as watching two mannequins in a Macy's window, Cersei and Jaime has energy and style.  The two love and hate each other with so much dedication and desire.  Nikolai is incredible- he is both this dynamic leader but also this war-weary veteran.  I AM STUNNED he was not killed by Cersei.  How did he know she was bluffing?  What a complete character and the actor to boot.

I think Tyrion spoils us; Dinklige is perfect and the writing for Tyrion ranges from "good" to "legendary."  This week was "very good" with that great line "You may try lying..."  So when he merely sticks at "very good" we, somehow, feel cheated.  Tyrion's dialog with Cersei was raw, emotional and very true to rights.  Further, I think Tyrion IS playing both sides to all of this.  I THINK he promised Cersei that if she backed Dany, Cersei's child would inherit the crown after Dany as Dany cannot have any heirs. That's why he was so weird when he heard Dany and Jon doing the nasty (in probably the most boring orgasm yelps you ever heard).  

And at the center of all that is Cersei, the best horrible person in Westeros.  What a fucking awesome bitch.  I fucking love hating her.  She is 100000000% right - she has ABSOLUTELY NO INCENTIVE to assist Dany and Jon and she was PERFECTLY JUSTIFIED in requiring the King in the North stay out of any further fighting.  It was a deft move.  The fact that Jon Snow was not having it does not diminish her smart work on this.  Then - like I said - I think Tyrion promised the future throne to Cersei's offspring.  But who knows.  Regardless I think Cersei is doing a lot more than anyone expected.

Also, even if it was an act, I thought her reaction to the Zombie was completely realistic and justified.  I actually think she THOUGHT about doing the right thing given this ... thing.  

The Tone: I thought that the overall pace and focus of the episode was great.  I genuinely felt the weight of these decisions and I thought that everything these folks was doing was very important and extremely thought-provoking.  I WILL say that much of it felt all too easy and maybe just a bit of a chore to move through.  But overall, I thought it worked as a great finish to a monstrously uneven season.  

A Dragon of Fire-Ice: Fuck it- I liked that last scene.  It was fucking great.  Enjoyed it all.  

On the Fence:

They Call Me Theon the Cockless:  That whole scene... meh... just punch him someplace else.  Also, pretty sure you still have nerve endings down there.  I just thought that this scene which was supposed to be incredibly important and character defining felt hollow and lame.  

The Wooden Royalty:  I feel ABSOLUTELY no chemistry between Dany and Jon.  NONE.  I can't believe that these two character favorites inspire ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the fan-base.  Part of me think its the writing - the writers have pushed the speed to 11 so the quality is hovering right around 4, so they could not lay the foundation of the two main characters' attraction, but another part of me thinks... maybe... just MAYBE ... Harrington and Emilia Clark... just ... aren't very good actors.  They are bringing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to the table.  Now, Harrington was GREAT with Rose Leslie (Ygritte), but she was a legit actress.  There is a greater-than-zero-percent chance Clark is a bad actress.  Oh, and that so is Harington.  Now, I will say that there is still a chance they prove me wrong but ... they feel so wooden I half expect Stannis to try to burn them.  

The Ease of the Surveillance State: So... Bran is just basically the Office of Homeland Security, right?  He's NIS and the CIA combined into some ungodly vision machine?  He sees everything, right?  So... is that somehow interesting?  Because it feels SUPER boring, uninspired and lame (no... no pun intended).  Now, I will say I LIKED that he brought us back to Lyanna and Rhaegar's wedding to state once-and-for-all that Robert was a jerkface and Rhaegar was not a horrible rapist.  But I hope in the books (tentative release date: 201never) its handled better with Howland Reed and not some strange super-computer.  

What I Did Not Like:

The Most Cunning Plan EVERYONE SAW COMING 1000 MILES AWAY!!!: God the writing sucks.  Sansa and Arya hatched a plan- literally - everyone saw coming.  I said two weeks ago that we will come to know that Arya knew about the letter Littlefinger planted the whole time and that was - essentially - confirmed as Arya and Sansa were somehow able to lay a trap anyone could see coming... anyone except the master of traps who we have all come to respect for 7 seasons... no.. that guy- suddenly oblivious.  The only way that scene could have been any more obvious would have been if Dany tried to hatch it.  I DID sort of like how the two came toigether... but come on?  That was the ONLY way that scene could have played out.  

Also... remember when Arya used to be fun?  Why is it every time she  talks now, its like reading the casualty reports from Nam?  There is no joy to her anymore.  And the scenes she has are taken wayyyyyy too seriously.  Loosen the fuck up!  Even for a minute!  Tell a joke!   Smile!  Make me not want to slit my wrists!  ANYTHING!  

So, overall, a solid episode that did the yeoman work the season lacked to this point.  This episode made up for what the other ones lacked.  

But the season was woefully uneven.  It went too slow and then too fast.  Hated the laziness and haphazard way of story-telling and disliked how the show seemed to stumble on where it needed to be- that it got there regardless of how unrealistic GETTING THERE was.  Can't say it was as bad as season 5, but nowhere near season 3 or 4 and not even as good as 6, which was pretty mediocre.  

Overall season: C+ and I am being generous.  

Little finger had the brilliant strategy of admiting he killed Lysa, even though Sansa already testified Lysa commited suicide. It would of so easy for little finger to make it look like they were trying to fram him. Instead he was a moron.

[darmody]

22 hours ago, The Bear Who Knocks said:

BTW Bravo d&d for trying to retcon Robert's Rebellion to be a lie and not about a war for justice and survival.

Well, it did technically start because Robert's betrothed was supposedly abducted. Robert wanted his wife-to-be back. Ned's father and brother were killed because they demanded justice. The king called for Ned's head because Ned was their son and brother. John Arryn jumped in because Ned and Robert were his wards. That's three armies--from the North, the Stormlands, and the Vale--motivated directly by what Bran says was a lie. Other houses, like the Lannisters, joined for personal and strategic reasons. 

But all of them also rebelled because the Mad King was unfit to rule. The rape thing merely proved it. It was the last straw.

Then again, even if Rhaegar didn't take Lyanna against her will and somehow dissolved his marriage, she was still betrothed to Robert. I don't think either of them would've been considered free to elope. Poppa Stark and Robert might consider that abduction, or at least "seduction," whether she consented or not. 

[darmody]

The entire Winterfell plot made zero sense. There's a real problem with your pseudo-drama when I can't tell whether the sisterly tension was a put-on from the beginning or they were reconciled by Bran off-screen. 

If it was a put-on, first of all, excellent commitment girls. Almost like you're actresses, or something. You stayed in character even when it was impossible for Littlefinger to observe you. But seriously, show, if you wanted it to be interpreted this way, don't cheat. Make it plausible. 

Oh, and why bother with the whole charade? Just to test whether Littlefinger is still Littlefinger? Surprise, he is. You could've saved time and had him killed for the things you already knew about and brought up at trial: your aunt's murder and "selling" Sansa to the Boltons. (I put that in quotes because Littlefinger didn't get anything in return and Sansa agreed to it, though she lacked the full story on Ramsey. I'm still unsure whether Littlefinger knew how bad he was.) 

If it wasn't a put-on, and they reconciled offscreen through Bran-magic, why? Why not show us? That would've been the interesting part, rather than, "I accuse my sis...I mean, Littlefinger! [Bum-bum-bum!]" Cheap shock value. 

[darmody]

22 hours ago, A Dance with Davos said:

Also I am not sure why Euron had to pretend to be scared to make Daenerys and Jon think he had deserted. It's was just a twist for the sake of a twist, but makes no sense. First of all.. how did they even plan that? Did Cersei really believe the dead were real? I suppose Euron might have seen one, but ignoring that. Cersei said she'd help. So what does it bloody well matter what Euron is doing anyway!?

Cheryl's opinion or lackthereof on the subject of the dead made sense. She doesn't care. It doesn't really matter if she thinks it's a real threat or not, because her plan is the same either way: agree to the truce, get Jon to kneel if possible, stab them in the back when their attention is turned Northward. 

As for Urine, his playacting served no purpose far as I can see. Because apparently he didn't surprise-attack Dany's fleet again. It takes attention off the Iron Fleet and lures them into thinking Urine is a coward, which I guess can be to his advantage. Otherwise, I don't get it. 

[darmody]

22 hours ago, The Knight in Motley said:

- So yeah, I guess Arya is fine with everyone knowing she's an assassin/executioner now.  Gonna make it hard to move around when the tale of her just slicing LF's neck open like that gets passed around.  

If she can impersonate elderly men flawlessly, she can still maneuver as an assassin. Still, I don't think it's Faceless Man policy to advertise as a Badass Killer. 

Then again, she's not a Faceless Man. The show just keeps bringing that up to make her sound cool. 

[darmody]

I really hate Sansa's attitude about people listening to her. Remember Battle of the Bastards Eve, when she was all, "Jon, listen to me."

Jon was all, "What?"

Finally, Sansa gets her chance (not really, she had been offering opinions to Jon literally all season), and lets out an, "Um, I don't know...don't do what Ramsey don't does," or some other Fun With Dick and Jane line. 

"Oh, okay, thanks." He did listen to her. He simply didn't follow her advice because first of all it was uselessly vague. More importantly, he's Jon Snow, knows nothing, and screws up pretty much everything, including battles he wins. 

Sansa gets credit, of course, because drama. Really, when she means when she says Jon doesn't listen to her--after a season of listening to her--is that she doesn't always get her way. Boo-hoo. 

King Robbbbb didn't always or even often follow Mommy Cat's advice when they were campaigning against the Lannisters. But did Cat whine "He never *listens* to me!"? No, she went behind his back, just like Sansa. But she didn't whinge. 

[darmody]

22 hours ago, Simon Steele said:

Sorry for post bombing, but remember when Sara told Aaron that "you're the strongest person I know" right before saying, "I miss him?" I think they meant Rickon. But I laughed at the strongest person thing--because, you know, Sara knows the Hound, Gregor, Brienne, Jaime, and Tormund Giantsbane. But Eddie Munster Aaron Horseface could kill any of them now. I guess.

They definitely meant Ned. I think they mentioned mommy, too. It's unfortunate they don't get around to her as often. Ned came up twice this episode, Cat only briefly when it wasn't Littlefinger reminding us he wanted to bone her. Now that he's dead, Cat won't even get her horny nostalgia references. 

 

They don't really talk about Robb, either. Last time he was mentioned was probably when Jon was proclaimed king. Rickon...who's he?

[darmody]

22 hours ago, teej6 said:

the war didn't start until Jon Aryn raised his banners, which was well after Lyanna got kidnapped and after Brandon and Rickard got killed and not till Aerys demanded Ned and Robert's heads. But the dumbfucks decide to have RR based on a lie because R and L were in love. 

But those people--Brandon, Rickard, Ned, and Robert--were killed or called to be killed directly or indirectly because of the kidnapping, weren't they? Aerys didn't just start a murder spree for the heck of it. 

[Holly Macaroni]

Sam - Yo, Bran, 'sup?

Bran - I am the 3 eyed raven, now!

Sam - What does that mean?

Bran - IT MEANS I CAN SEE ALL! I KNOW EVERYTHING! why are you at winterfell?

Sam - I came to help john.

Bran - Why are you in my chamber, then? By the way, after a whole season of not telling anything to any of my sisters, I'll just plain blurt out for you that Jon Snow is actually...Jon Sand! He MUST know.

Sam - No, he is legitimized. I know it because I transcribed it from a maester's diary.

Bran - What...but not only you didn't pay attention to Gilly, but she was reading from the diary itself...does that mean you kept on transcribing the maester's diary after fleeing the citadel?

Sam - .........................no...

<cuts to boatsex>

[darmody]

22 hours ago, Khorkalba said:

The amount they showed was more than enough for the audience to get the message.

I agree on the actual ugly-bumping. They don't need to show any of it to get the point across. But I agree with the above poster about the first kiss. Or at least the first embrace.

Something happened between her opening the door and then writhing around in the nude. That would've been the more interesting part to watch. 

I think I only ever felt a pang of emotion between the two when Jon hesitated to knock for a second. 

[StepStark]

1 hour ago, Trigger Warning said:

"we're fucked" "fuck loyalty" "muh cocks, muh dicks, muh PUSSAY" 

The biggest offender in this show's shit writing is the dialogue now, just compare it to season one it's woeful. 

"Play with her arse"... "You are a serious boy with a serious cock"... "Stannis has personality of a lobster"... "Did you ever make the eight Sir Barristan?"... "I hear that the prince is a right royal prick"... "Think of all those southern girls he gets to stab with his right royal prick"...

That's all from season one, and just from the top of my head. D&D's dialogue was always disastrous, only people didn't really pay attention to it earlier because the plot (taken from the books) was much better than it is today.

[darmody]

21 hours ago, sweetsunray said:

Even if cut stem and root, getting a kick against the pubic bone can make someone double down just as well. I'm a woman, but once had some stupid slam a chair there when I was a teen. Knocked the breath out of me for several minutes.

Getting kneed in the gap would hurt a man, twigs and berries or no. But Theon was just beat severely about the head and torso. It was already unrealistic for him to still be fighting. 

I would've preferred he get kneed only once and smirk about it. Or at most twice to make sure we get it. But the knees just kept a-comin'. It was comical.

[darmody]

21 hours ago, Hoo said:

I don't know if he betrayed Ned.  His loyalty was not to Ned.  Ned died because he stepped on Cersei's toes.

This is some weird rationalization. Ned came to Littlefinger for help securing his place as Joffrey's guardian, at least until he could install Stannis on the throne. Littlefinger agreed, then betrayed him by siding with Cersei.

You can say he wasn't ever really with Ned, had his fingers crossed or whatever. But what word do you use for feigning loyalty then being disloyal? Betrayal is perfectly appropriate. 

[darmody]

21 hours ago, Hoo said:

I don't know how he betrayed Catelyn.

He tried to have her son Bran killed, for one thing. He betrayed her husband and got him captured. He sold her daughter to the worst human being on the show after her death, and apparently plotted to have one of her daughters kill the other. 

[Ser Wun Wun]

18 hours ago, Pyat>Daenerys said:

I disagree. I am absolutely positive we will get Winds after the show ends, somewhere late 2018.

Recent news points to them shooting S8 for much longer than usual, until as late as August 2018:  Link

If that happens, the show's not coming out until 2019.  

I agree George will release Winds eventually (not 2018 imo), but will he finish the rest of the series?  No, I just don't believe he has it in him.  Especially not after Winds will have basically taken him 8 years.

He's been in a slump for about 20 years now, with each book getting harder and harder to write. I believe it's just naive to think he will finally snap out of it, or that the end will be easier for him to write.  

[Meera of Tarth]

Jaime: An idiot to an idiot..........

[darmody]

21 hours ago, Padrino said:

Re: the complaints about Sansa turning on Littlefinger because of Bran, or whatever reason.  It wasn't that, Littlefinger said that Arya wants to be Lady of Winterfell, and Sansa knows that is the last thing Arya wants. That's what finally clued her in.

A more obvious answer would be that Arya is Team Jon, Ride or Die. But the show wants us to forget about Arya's connection to other characters, for whatever reason. Because they're saving her reunions for later. 

Although, they finally had to characters with a connection to Arya--the Hound and Brienne the Beauty--talk about her. 

[Trigger Warning]

33 minutes ago, StepStark said:

"Play with her arse"... "You are a serious boy with a serious cock"... "Stannis has personality of a lobster"... "Did you ever make the eight Sir Barristan?"... "I hear that the prince is a right royal prick"... "Think of all those southern girls he gets to stab with his right royal prick"...

That's all from season one, and just from the top of my head. D&D's dialogue was always disastrous, only people didn't really pay attention to it earlier because the plot (taken from the books) was much better than it is today.

I know there's always been stinkers but it's a lot more consistent now especially with no dialogue to lift and adapt from the books. 

[sweetsunray]

30 minutes ago, darmody said:

Getting kneed in the gap would hurt a man, twigs and berries or no. But Theon was just beat severely about the head and torso. It was already unrealistic for him to still be fighting. 

I would've preferred he get kneed only once and smirk about it. Or at most twice to make sure we get it. But the knees just kept a-comin'. It was comical.

Well, Theon fighting like that for sure is a D&D invention. Book Theon is physically a broken, brittle man. Loose teeth, grey brittle hair, hobbles on his feet. He's in no shape to physically fight anybody.