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Worst theory you've ever heard

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5 hours ago, Bael's Bastard said:

Most of the theories posted on this forum are tied for worst. If only people spent as much time actually reading and comprehending the books as they do completely making up terrible fan fiction.

I agree. Too many 'theories' and not enough literary appreciation. GRRM is a fucking awesome writer and people are more into dragons than character development... more's the pity. 

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"All animals theories are equal, but some animals theories are more equal than others."

Honestly, unless a theory sets out to answer a question GRRM has actually posed in the books themselves and provides textual evidence to answer said question, it can make my head hurt a bit. I can go off on tangents with the best of them but...
 

11 hours ago, Knight Of Winter said:

Asha is actually a man

Ned/Brandon/Rickard/Bran from the future + Lyanna = Jon

Cersei is Tyrion's mother

Ned killed Lyanna for besmirching Stark's honor

Howland Reed is High Sparrow

Are those real theories? *shivers*

2 hours ago, White Ravens said:

There is a connection between the Children of the Forest and Fleabottom because there is a CofF named Leaf and her name is spelled with the same letters as Flea

That's a real theory, too? But it's not even her name; Meera and Bran were the ones who nicknamed her "Leaf".

11 hours ago, Adam Yozza said:

Rhaegar=Mance

Arthur/Gerold=Qhorin

Also, Arthur=Mance, Tormund=Another Kingsuard or Someone Important, Val=Ditto. Pretty much any "thesis" on how a load of wildings and former NW men are long-dead princes or Kingsguard makes me groan. It just completely marginalises the Freefolk character by giving half their biggest players Southron identities.

AGH! Why does everyone everywhere have to be someone else in disguise?!

1 hour ago, Blackwater Revenant said:

That the poison was in the pie, and Tyrion was the target.

To be fair, I genuinely believed this one for a time.

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5 minutes ago, Faera said:

To be fair, I genuinely believed this one for a time

Yes, to be fair, I don't believe this theory is even close to belonging under the category of worst theory ever. I was just being somewhat hyperbolic in response to the poster claiming that a theory which is all but proven is the worst theory ever, just because it debunks his theory.

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8 hours ago, manchester_babe said:

Tyrion is a Targaryen. 

Initially, I arrived at this conclusion on my own. But then I went online and more I read, the less convinced I became. 

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any of the ones where Rhaella and Aerys aren't Daenerys parents.

oh and the "the poison was in the pie to kill Tyrion" theory

Edited by SecretWeapon

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That everything white in Westeros is somehow connected to the Others...

ie lots of things are described as 'white as snow' or 'white as frost' etc etc, but really, how many possible similes are there in Westeros for 'whiteness'? Snow, frost, milk, bleached fabrics.... err, that's it.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, as Freud probably never said.

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1 hour ago, ChuckPunch said:

R+L=J

It's the stupidest theory and I don't understand why so many people are willing to put on tinfoil hats to support it.

No more; and in fact less; stupid than any other theory out there for either Jon's parentage or the identity of the child Rhaegar and Lyanna very likely had. Also; the adaptation that must not be mentioned pretty much confirmed this.

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6 hours ago, Tom Cruise said:

Why would the author go through so much trouble to keep hinting at it.  Hell the world book basically spells it out.  

I’m not saying it’s impossible, it’d just be a God awful plot twist. 

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2 hours ago, ChuckPunch said:

R+L=J

It's the stupidest theory and I don't understand why so many people are willing to put on tinfoil hats to support it.

Wew boy. 

1 hour ago, Widow's Watch said:

It's not about the worst theory for me, it's more about my most hated ones. Rhaegar wanted a Visenya to complete the set and Rickard Stark's southron ambitions.

This never made sense to me. If Rhaegar had wanted Visenya-Aegon-Rhaenys he would’ve named Rhaenys Visenya. 

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