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Raw water


Larry of the Lawn

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16 hours ago, Altherion said:

I wonder if it will occur to anyone to sell Homeopathic Raw Water. Diluted 12 times with ordinary water for maximum effect!

More seriously, I wonder what is it that makes people buy this sort of thing in sufficient quantities to draw the charlatans in the first place. A misplaced desire for something magical or at least pure?

I love everything about this "phenomena" as well!  It's Salesmanship 101.  The first step is to convince people they need whatever it is you're selling.  This definitely gets bonus points for tapping into the conspiracy theorist characteristic of any "proof" against said conspiracy simply bolstering it;)

I'd market it as "Dr. John Snow's Pure Raw Water" with a pump handle prominently displayed on the label, of course.  The coincidental GoT tie-in probably wouldn't hurt either:P    

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This story is just filled with great moments. My second favorite part is Kevin the shift manager’s in-depth review of raw water, particularly the “nice smooth mouth feel”. My third favorite part is that Doug Evans (protagonist of the Fall of Juicero, my favorite story of all time) makes a cameo appearance.

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On 1/3/2018 at 6:45 AM, Ran said:

The problem, as Gertrude says, is that fads like this quickly get taken advantage of by crooks. Water is not very well-regulated in the U.S. -- something like 50% of bottled water is tap water that's simply been given some sort of purification and bottled -- and this "raw water" fad is going to not be much different.

Dude is selling 2.5 gallons of water for thirty-seven bucks! Raw water is clearly already (and has probably always been) the domain of crooks and cons.

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1 hour ago, Prince of the North said:

But...it's the best thirty-seven bucks you'll ever spend! :drunk:

I won’t lie, if I were in San Francisco I’d be out there right now searching for a $37 orb of raw water. I would bring it home, lovingly place it on my mantle, and patiently wait out the lunar cycle while it slowly turned green. 

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3 hours ago, Myshkin said:

This story is just filled with great moments. My second favorite part is Kevin the shift manager’s in-depth review of raw water, particularly the “nice smooth mouth feel”. My third favorite part is that Doug Evans (protagonist of the Fall of Juicero, my favorite story of all time) makes a cameo appearance.

 And yet you slight Evans for failing to mention that he is a renowned and highly skilled spring-hunter, who sneaks bravely onto private land in the dead of night to steal raw2o.  From the mouth of the famed spring-hunter himself:

Quote

"You have to be agile and tactile, and be available to experiment,” he said. “Literally, you have to carry bottles of water through the dark"

No, he's not talking about being a participant in an MDMA-fuelled orgy, but rather being a dedicated raw water hunter.

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2 hours ago, larrytheimp said:

 And yet you slight Evans for failing to mention that he is a renowned and highly skilled spring-hunter, who sneaks bravely onto private land in the dead of night to steal raw2o.  From the mouth of the famed spring-hunter himself:

No, he's not talking about being a participant in an MDMA-fuelled orgy, but rather being a dedicated raw water hunter.

Sounds like he needs some raw light. 

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12 minutes ago, kairparavel said:

Sounds like he needs some raw light. 

Holy shit, this is a brilliant idea! I’m willing to go into a 50/50 partnership with you in this new “raw” light venture. We’re gonna be fucking rich! 

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5 minutes ago, Myshkin said:

Holy shit, this is a brilliant idea! I’m willing to go into a 50/50 partnership with you in this new “raw” light venture. We’re gonna be fucking rich! 

I'll get some mason jars and candles. 

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4 minutes ago, kairparavel said:

I'll get some mason jars and candles. 

Okay, but the candles have to be made from beeswax, or ideally spermaceti. None of this tallow or paraffin bullshit.

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Big announcement: the first round of fundraising for raw light is now open! Kair and I are looking to raise around $120 million in capital this round, and we project to hit that target within the next ten days. Though setbacks in sourcing mason jars have delayed product rollout by 1-3 months, we expect to have a working prototype ready to showcase to potential investors in time for the second round of fundraising, which should take place sometime around mid June.

But that is not the only exciting news we have to share. The rise of raw water has opened up a lot of opportunities for forward thinking entrepreneurs. I am of course focusing mainly on the raw light venture at the moment, but I’ve also been developing an idea for organic gluten free artisanal antibiotics. This new venture is still in the very early stages, but I am confident it has enormous market potential. Early investors in raw light will of course have priority when the time comes to raise capital for artisanal antibiotics.

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3 minutes ago, Dr. Pepper said:

No raw artisanal mountain air? 

Like I said, there are a lot of opportunities opening up for savvy entrepreneurs. Raw air is the logical next step, but I’ve also been kicking around the idea of RawCoin, an organic handmade cryptocurrency crafted from 100% recycled blockchain.

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