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LGBTQ+ 6 -- It's a Rainbow of Flavors


Xray the Enforcer
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On 23/03/2018 at 3:20 AM, Lily Valley said:

I don't know?  Had a week of totally fun amazing, er, exercise and then he got weird.  Snappish.  I took off, because life is too short to hang out with someone who cant speak to other people respectfully.  Chalked it up to a bad day,  but since then he has been lukewarm on making plans.  I ran into him at my "office" (the local tavern) and the chemistry was still DEFINITELY there, but he was on a date so I split.  Texted him the following morning about making plans and he was all, "call me Friday and I'll see what I'm up to."  All together is smells like some bullshit dude emotional mind game nonsense.  I forgot how cagey dudes behave early on and when things are going well.  That whole "act cool so she doesn't think I like her that much"  Or maybe he doesn't like me that much. 

I find the latter hard to believe.   He has a pretty reliable "thermostat" that I read with the all detail that a trained scientist can bring to a new field of research.  :P

Anyway, I'll be seeing him this weekend since he's in my Mardi Gras Krewe and we're planning our Easter party.  :shrugs:  It's just been a looooooooooong time since I had to deal with the EPIC nonsense that most men bring to the table with their poor emotional awareness and general immaturity.  He's my age, btw.  Just reconfirming that I'm pretty gay these days by CHOICE and very grateful that it's an option for me. 

 

To my beautiful bi pals up on this board:     ******GO TEAM BISEXUALS!  TWICE THE OPTIONS AND TWICE THE FUN.  GO AHEAD CALL ME "GREEDYAND I WILL CACKLE ALL THE WAY TO MY GRAVE WITH A DATE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!********

All the love from New Orleans.  If I haven't mentioned it recently, thank you all.  Especially @brook @Xray the Enforcer @Theda Baratheon for helping me find the guts to come out.  Better late than never.  <3

<3 I love you

Jumping late but had to laugh at the "guys have dicks" as if that was a selling point and not at best an interesting (& not universal!) detail & at worst an inconvenience. This particular bisexual view is that (on average, not all men etc) men are worse at sex, relationships, and being interesting human beings than women but they do come with the advantage of being much harder to fall in love with.

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On 3/27/2018 at 10:40 PM, brook said:

<3 I love you

Jumping late but had to laugh at the "guys have dicks" as if that was a selling point and not at best an interesting (& not universal!) detail & at worst an inconvenience. This particular bisexual view is that (on average, not all men etc) men are worse at sex, relationships, and being interesting human beings than women but they do come with the advantage of being much harder to fall in love with.

Well it wasn't my view, I always thought our best qualities were opening jars, reaching things and lending jumpers. 

Wow, maybe best all round if you stick to girls...

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1 hour ago, Theda Baratheon said:

I already own approximately 400 jumpers at this point 

And a neat $2 appliance that opens all the jars. 

So in actual relevant to this thread news earlier this week I had the realisation that after a lifetime of feeling "not bi enough" and like I have not enough experience/no idea what I am doing with girls (a feeling unrelated to actual levels of experience) I now get exactly the same thing with boys (but still with women too).

Internalized biphobia sure is a hell of a thing

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Yeah, internalised biphobia is a riot. ''Too queer to be straight and not queer enough to be gay". And lately am seeing a lot of biphobic stuff? Lots of nasty stuff. I made the mistake of telling a couple male friends and now they seem to bring it up evry bloody time I go drinking with them which has been often lately because we've been working on the same museum project. It's like...I'd really like to not have to discuss or justify my sexuality every single fucking time 

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Actually...good to get that out because I'm going to tell him exactly that next time he bloody does it. 

 

This is the guy I was kind of half pining over and fancied and it's like the more I get to know him the less I fancy him so that's a good thing I guess 

Edited by Theda Baratheon
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31 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

The way men discuss women just...isn't the same way wlw discuss women. At least, I don't think so? Like..bloody hell if I get asked if I want to shag another mutual female friend I'm going to tell them off 

Ugh and that feeling when you just KNOW the reason they are asking is because they are getting off on imagining it...

I want to come and yell at them for you

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1 hour ago, brook said:

Ugh and that feeling when you just KNOW the reason they are asking is because they are getting off on imagining it...

I want to come and yell at them for you

It makes me so uncomfortable I don' like to assume anything of people and seem conceited but I have to ask myself why do they keep bringing it up!? Maybe this is just what men talk like I don't know LOL maybe my occasionally fancying some women now makes me "one of the lads" but if he does it again I'll just say it makes me uncomfortable and o just bloody well stop with it 

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35 minutes ago, Theda Baratheon said:

It makes me so uncomfortable I don' like to assume anything of people and seem conceited but I have to ask myself why do they keep bringing it up!? Maybe this is just what men talk like I don't know LOL maybe my occasionally fancying some women now makes me "one of the lads" but if he does it again I'll just say it makes me uncomfortable and o just bloody well stop with it 

I think Brook is dead on with the reason they're doing it, but yes this does sound like how men talk to other men about women at the same time. And you're also dead on with this:

2 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

The way men discuss women just...isn't the same way wlw discuss women. 

It really is down to gender 101 - generally speaking when discussing the physical attributes of someone they're attracted to, wlw talk about other women as subjects while men frequently talk about women as objects. Even when just focusing on the body, there is a element about the person inhabiting the body rather than that person being largely irrelevant.

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14 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

This is the guy I was kind of half pining over and fancied and it's like the more I get to know him the less I fancy him so that's a good thing I guess 

The struggle is real :lol: (and, at least for me, generally applicable to most human beings to whom I am attracted, regardless of gender identity). 

Anyhoo, I think your plan is solid: tell them that your personal life is not up for discussion and them hold them to that. 

Edited by Xray the Enforcer
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1 hour ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

The struggle is real :lol: (and, at least for me, generally applicable to most human beings to whom I am attracted, regardless of gender identity). 

Anyhoo, I think your plan is solid: tell them that your personal life is not up for discussion and them hold them to that. 

This is mostly true, alas, just not true for @brook.  The more she talks the prettier she gets.  Distance!  Australia why you so far away!!!!!

@Theda Baratheon  gross.  You're perfectly correct to tell him off.  Can you imagine asking straight people details about their sex life / fantasies?  :(  Since we're on that topic, I'm going to do just that.

To everyone who likes beautiful cinema:  Below Her Mouth is on Netflix right now...

Edited by Lily Valley
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On 3/30/2018 at 4:56 PM, brook said:

Why DO women love roofers? 

Having on occasion worked as a roofer, all I can suggest is strong back and shoulders and a weak mind.

They also work with their shirts off because it is damn hot up there.

Edited by maarsen
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14 hours ago, maarsen said:

Having on occasion worked as a roofer, all I can suggest is strong back and shoulders and a weak mind.

They also work with their shirts off because it is damn hot up there.

Ha it was a reference to the movie Lily mentioned and in that context the answer looks a lot (exactly) like this... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7621162/

Although tbh I can also see the appeal in your explanation 

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2 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

apparently Saturday was Trans Day of Visibility? I totally didn't find out until about 9pm that night, so I just walked into the bathroom and shot finger-guns at my reflection in the mirror. That counts, right?

Yes it does!   We have several spectacular Easter parades here on Sunday that are PRIDE themed, so it didn't get much notice here either.  

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On 3/30/2018 at 0:46 AM, karaddin said:

I think Brook is dead on with the reason they're doing it, but yes this does sound like how men talk to other men about women at the same time. And you're also dead on with this:

It really is down to gender 101 - generally speaking when discussing the physical attributes of someone they're attracted to, wlw talk about other women as subjects while men frequently talk about women as objects. Even when just focusing on the body, there is a element about the person inhabiting the body rather than that person being largely irrelevant.

That makes a lot of sense to me and explains why I'm finding it as uncomfortable as I am. I just don't like talking about people like that. Even men I fancy I don't think I've ever gone to my friends that are women an gone "ooooh would you have a go at that lads!" lmfao

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The internet is full of straight men who think it is of the utmost importance that everyone be aware that they'd hit that. This is one of the ways that the internet mirrors real world speech quite closely. Its obviously #notallmen, just an annoying habit of some that is only intensified by the low standard of behaviour that has become the norm online. The closest equivalent I see in queer girls online is much more of a focus on the effect that a girls attractiveness is having on the viewer, ie "swoon" "I'm so ded" and "I'm so gay" rather than on seeming to size the person in question up like a dish or something or fantasising about what they'd do to them. I think male attracted women talking about men they find hot is sometimes closer to this dynamic, but from the type I've seen it tends to fixate much more on imagining what the hot person would do to them rather than what they'd do to the hot person. Had to catch myself at almost saying "straight women" but the best case of this I know is a bisexual woman (with terrible taste in men lol).

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